I think I'm in love......with my boss. Yikes!

I think the reason why I get SO annoyed by D so often (more like on a daily basis, as a matter of fact) is because I think I am in love with him.

My kryptonite

Everyone has their own weakness and strengths, their own faults and perfect moments, etc. Sometimes I see many strengths/perfect moments in myself and then there are times that I only see a few. More often than not, I see more weaknesses and faults than anything else.

In this case, tonight, I’m talking about the weaknesses that people have for things, mine in particular. My weakness is D, my boss…..more like my Kryptonite. I swear that every time that he’s around, it’s like I had a lobotomy; I can’t think, I can’t speak, I trip over stuff that isn’t even there. Ugh.

It’s rather embarrassing to have your boss think you’re a complete idiot, clumsy fool and spazz. D knows that I’m not normally like that at all; although we all have our clumsy moments.

Today, I ended up working 12 hrs instead of the normal 8 hrs. I was switched to another section of where I was assigned this morning. It was a good break from where I was earlier but had to deal with two of the biggest goobers ever. I had to show them how to do the job at least 15 times before they got it.

D stayed a little late this afternoon…..he rarely ever does that unless it’s required of him to stay. He was looking at me. I rolled my eyes and asked him what was wrong. He said nothing; which was slightly surprising but whatever. He continued to look at me as I worked, saying nothing, no smile, and no nothing. Whatever; it’s his problem and NOT mine. I decided to ignore him to see what would happen. He finally left a few minutes later, which was good. I was in NO mood to be baby sat by my boss; there are better things to be done.

 I won’t be surprised to hear more rumors about D and I when I go in a matter of a few hours

Not wanting to return to work tomorrow.

I really don’t want to return to work tomorrow and it’s not because of getting up in a matter of hours but just really not wanting to work tomorrow. I enjoyed the first 3 day weekend in a long time – about 2 months. I think I’m slightly spoiled now that I had 3 days off. But I think that part of the problem is that the past few nights, I haven’t been sleeping well; that’s what makes it hard getting up in the morning (plus late nights like tonight).

As of right now, I don’t want to deal with D in the morning. I’ve got a feeling that he’ll be annoying the hell out of me. Have y’all ever seen the “Grumpy Cat” memes on Fb? Grumpy Cat reminds me of D. ‘Nuff said.

Night, all.

More pageviews when I mention my boss

I'm rather curious why I'm getting more pageviews when I mention my job and my boss. Is it because it's more entertaining than the story I'm posting about?

I know my skills as an author aren't great....No, I'm not going to quit my day job. Right now, I need an income so I can build up my account and move out on my own

Why must I get so annoyed by one person??

Out of the amount of people I know, why must I get SO annoyed by my boss, D?? Everywhere I go at work, he’s usually there; just standing around by himself (or occasionally with someone else), watching me work. D usually has a certain…..look of pleasure…..in his eyes as I work. People have noticed him looking at me with this look of pleasure. When I move an inch, he moves his head with me. When I walk to another section of the line I’m working on, his head and his eyes follow.

I’m not sure if I should be flattered or not; but I’m rather annoyed by it. Why can’t he just tell me what’s on his mind or even tell me why he “has” to watch me work when he damn well knows I bust my ass off? He knows I keep shit like that to myself.  I kinda want to know why he’s got that look of pleasure in his eyes when I see him watch me work but I know he won’t share the reason.

IF he’s interested (which we all know that he is NOT interested in me), why won’t he say something to me about it? It should be pretty obvious that I’m slightly interested in him despite him blowing hot and cold all the time. Y’all could tell that to some degree, I’ve got it bad for him….Look at all the posts I’ve written that he’s mentioned!!

So somebody actually does have a heart

Today was the last work day of the week for me and I’m quite grateful; despite only working 3 days this week. Like I said in an earlier post sometime in the past week, I needed the break of working 5 to 6 days of 12 hour shifts. It was too much stress, tension, drama, lack of sleep and running on pure exhaustion.

The last two nights, I’d been staying up late despite knowing that I need as much sleep as possible in order to survive an 8 hr shift. I think that’s part of what caused today’s clumsy moment…..brought to you by Deppgrl.

I had to palletize 24 to 25 pound boxes (filled with candy) for most of the day. “Palletize” basically means to stack a wooden pallet with Item X; in my case, boxes of candy. Anyways, when I got to stacking the 5^th tier on the one pallet, I didn’t have a great grip on the box and it slipped out of my hands, hitting my safety glasses – breaking the arm where the arm meets the lens – which in turns makes the bottom part of the lens of the safety glasses AND the edge of the box hit my left cheek bone. After the box and my safety glasses hit my cheek bone and bounces off of me, I let it drop. I pick it up and set it to the side so we can make a new box for the candy.

A few minutes after this happened, I went upstairs to the office to speak with D. I explained to him that I had a clumsy moment and what happened. He took short notes of what I said. He placed a few fingers under my chin so he could turn my head to see if there was any bruising – which I didn’t since it’d just happened. He did give me one of those instant break and shake ice packs to apply to my cheek bone during lunch to bring down the swelling (still have a little swelling but not as much as before).

During the day, D checked on me a few times to see how my cheek was and if there was any bruising; which there’s no sign of bruising, just sore and tender.

When I got home and after showering, I took some Aleve and used an ice pack on my cheek since my cheek was a little painful. I did receive a text from D not too long ago just double checking to see how I was.

It appears that the Drill Sergeant, aka D, has a heart after all

Now I know.....I think....I guess; not entirely sure, but whatever

I went into work as scheduled today. I didn’t want to get up since I stayed up late last night (and yet again tonight even though I’m getting up in a few hours). I realized as I was driving into work that I needed to speak to D about me staying over an extra 4 hours on Friday – completely forgot to tell him Tuesday morning….the main point is that I remembered. D was a bit rude, asking me why I didn’t tell him Monday and my response was that on Friday he took me off the schedule on Monday, plus I didn’t remember until today. He said that I coulda called and I said that was true but yet again reminded him that I didn’t remember until today. He said that I knew that payroll goes in on Monday and I said that I didn’t know that but last time someone said anything about payroll, it was getting done on a Wednesday, not a Monday.

Anyways, fast forward working an hour into the shift. Lucky me, I get assigned to work with the most annoying guy ever. He says something that’s ridiculously stupid; I become a little bitchy and shut him down. Eventually word gets to back to D. As I run out of the cafeteria to head back to where I’m working (I was running a minute or two late; as usual) and nearly knocked over D. He pulled me aside (I carefully had to type aside NOT astride; although we’d both enjoy it!!) to ask me how I got this guy to shut up. I said it was a mix of me having a short fuse, being completely annoyed and speaking my mind. D laughed pretty hard and said that “Linda” (the group leader) had mentioned that today was the only day that she saw this super annoying guy ACTUALLY do some work.

I, jokingly, offered my short fuse to be lit the next time a lazy person needs a fire lit under their ass. D laughed and thanked me for my “offer”.

At first, I thought I knew that D was interested in me but IF he was (which he really isn’t), he’d be more than subtle when it comes to me knowing he was….then I thought that he MIGHT be interested but realized that he is NOT. He’ll just be my fantasy guy.

An honest confession

I’ve been doing a ton of thinking before Jimmy’s death and a ton after his death….but his death made me realize some things that I want and most likely wanted for a long time.

1.       I want to be married

2.       I want to be a stay at home and have many kids (like 5 or 6)

3.       I want to travel the world more

4.       I want to live in Italy & hold a dual citizenship (US/Italy - even though the US doesn’t “recognize” dual citizenship; can’t remember the reason why)

5.       I don’t want to turn out to be “The Crazy Cat/Dog Lady” with 10 cats/dogs

6.       I want to get Rosetta Stone and learn several languages but too lazy to do it

7.       I want to own a horse farm of rescue horses and staff people who’ve come out of abusive relationships

8.       Not only do I want to learn Krav Maga, I want to take up kick boxing

Some venting

It’s been a really rough week; I was struggling with Jimmy’s death as I working 72 hours this week.  As I walked to the morning meeting, my boss (“D”) had asked me if I was ok and could handle working a crazy week and I said yes, then I asked him if he could hunt me down sometime that day; he never did nor did he the other days. Finally on Friday, I quietly asked D to hunt me down because I wanted to talk to him but it can wait towards the end of the day before he leaves. He looks at me, sees tears welling up in my eyes and said that he would before I went to lunch.

The entire 8 hour shift came and went; D did not come down to talk to me. I took a 30 minute shift break between my shift and the next shift. By the time I came back to where we’d have the afternoon shift meeting, there was D. I pulled him to the side to talk with him. Here’s the conversation (to what I remember):

“Hey, D. Look….I wanted to let you know why I was a hot mess when I came in this week. My friend committed suicide on Friday (May 10^th)…..”

“Why didn’t you call off from work? I would’ve let you take the time off you needed.”
“I didn’t want the time off, nor did I need it. ‘Linda’ knew about it, thought that she would’ve told you…..considering she tells you everything that I tell her!”

“No she doesn’t tell me everything you say….at least not after you ripped her a new one – which she completely deserved by the way. I wish you told me earlier this week.”

“At that point, the less people who knew the better. Plus, I need to make a friggin’ appointment to come talk to you. You could say that I’m not exactly high on your priority list….you couldn’t even be bothered to come see me when you said you would.”

“You don’t need an appointment to come see me and I didn’t say that you’re low on my priority list; I’ve never said that! I didn’t come down to see you because I had a rough day!”

“You had a rough day? I’ll tell you about a rough as all hell day….I worked 12 hours last Friday, missed calls and texts from my friend’s mother, met her at his apartment, open the door and see his brain splattered all over the foyer. I haven’t had much sleep since seeing that. I didn’t get home until the early hours of Saturday morning. I’ve been working 12 hour days all week this week, missed the funeral service of my friend and I get told by a supervisor they had a “rough” day. What you had today, D? It was a cake walk compared to what I had to work with for a week. Until you see your friend’s brain & blood all over the place, that’s far from a rough day!”

“I – I – I’m sorry that you’ve been struggling all week. Of course I didn’t have a day or week from hell like you have. I’ll come see you before I leave; I’m staying a little late myself.”

“Don’t bother hunting me down….you hardly hunt me down these days. I’ll see you next week!”

Then I storm off back to where I was assigned to work. I knew from the moment I had asked him early Friday morning that he wouldn’t swing by. He comes down from the office once a day, usually mid morning, to take a quick glance to see how the temp agency employees are doing then heads back up to the office for the rest of the day.

I don’t know what I saw in him a few months ago and barely see in him now (besides that he’s kinda – physically – attractive and close to my height).

Sad news in life.

Hello readers!
I'm sorry that I haven't posted anything new in close to a month. I've been working close to 65 hours a week (5 12 hr days; sometimes 6 12 hr days).
As I'd been getting ready for bed tonight, I wanted to let y'all know that I'll be taking another week or so off from writing in my blog due to I'm mourning my friend who committed suicide on Friday early evening.
He'd been diagnosed with AIDS about 2 years ago - after my instance of him going to going to the doctor. He'd been prescribed a medication to help "maintain" his....health, I guess you could say and started seeing a psychiatrist as well. The last 6 months of my friend's life, he'd given up on life, stopped taking his AIDS meds, didn't take good care of himself, pushed people away from him and said that I care too much. This past Thursday, he called me to apologize for being an ass and said that everything is ok. I went into work as usual on Friday, in hopes my friend would start taking care of himself and start taking his meds again.
His mother called and texted me quite a few times throughout the day stating that she couldn't get in contact with my friend. When I got out of work, I called her back and told her to meet me at his apartment. When we both got there, I suggested that I be the one to open the apartment (she has heart issues). I opened the door and there was my friend, dead in the foyer. He took his gun and shot himself in the head. I turned right around and called 911.
The police and the ambulance came about 20 minutes later. As the medics came to the door, I had informed them that my friend was tested positive for AIDS so the medics could take full safety measures.
I'm grateful that I had the weekend off so I could handle my friends' suicide before going back to work on Monday.
Today was the funeral but I was told by my friends' that it was ok if I didn't go. I ended up not going....I couldn't bring myself to go.

Thank you all for understanding.