A writer's block

I'm sorry for the delay in new posts. I'm having a bit of a writer's block. I know I changed up my blog from non fiction to fiction and have been writing about sex....a whole lot. Don't get me wrong, I love sex as much as the next person does but I'm desiring to take a break from writing about sex. I know the sex scenes aren't terribly hot or anything (just taking some scenes from smutty books & some stuff from personal experience).
My one friend suggested that I throw in a post about shopping, I appreciated the suggestion but not only is it not me, it's also not really the me in the story. So, if you have any suggestions, feel free to leave comments. Any & all suggestions are welcome but may not be used
My husband, "Vince", is based off of a real person - a former teacher of mine, really.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Enjoy spending the day with family, friends & pets!

He said how many babies?

I have no idea how long I lost consciousness this time, but when I woke up, I figured it was a long time due to the amount of blood I lost. I was so afraid that I lost the baby. The stress from being shot and making love with my well endowed husband, I’m sure, didn’t help.

I opened my eyes when I felt Vince holding my hand a little tighter than normal. I wiggled my fingers to kinda grab his attention and also to get some feeling back into my hand and fingers.

“Oh, baby! You scared me! How are you feeling?” Vince asks me.

“I don’t know how I’m feeling I just woke up. I didn’t mean to scare you at all. Did Matt come by? What did he say?? How’s the baby?”

“Matt’s still here, he’s in the living room. Let me go get him. If you can, sit up and take a few sips of water.”

I nod and get re-adjusted in bed to get comfortable. I notice the sheets – they’ve been changed. I’m going to guess the sheets were changed while I was still unconscious.

“Maggie, I’m glad to see you awake. You had Vince really worried about you. He asked that I didn’t tell your mom or brother – he didn’t want them to worry at all.”

“Matt, just tell me what happened after I lost consciousness….again. I’m tired of passing out. What I want to know is how the baby is.”

“I’m not going to lie. The BABIES was stressed from the adrenaline rush that you had from when you got shot and from having sex several times with your husband. As soothing as sex can be, it can add more stress -----"

“What do you mean by ‘babies’, Matt? We thought you told Mags that it was ‘baby’ – as in singular, as in ONE baby, not multiple!” Vince said interrupting Matt.

“Just relax. I did another exam on Mags when I rushed to the room. I did a sonogram and found two babies – one is hiding behind the other. No worries, they’re healthy, they’re fine. Mags, no sex for twelve hours. Can you handle that?” Matt asked me.

I started to laugh.

“Matt, if you knew me, you wouldn’t have asked me if I could handle twelve hours without sex. There’s NO way in hell I can go twelve hours without sex. I’m a borderline sex addict. If you don’t believe me, ask my husband!”

“Trust me, Matt; my wife is a full blown sex addict. I swear she can’t go twenty to thirty minutes without sex,” Vince said, turning to me and smiling. “I wish I could get a break but I will never ask for one. I love my beautiful wife too much to deny her sexual appetite.”

I have a knack for passing out

Wow. That wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. I was expecting a fight not an intense sexual session with my husband barely hours after losing consciousness from a small gunshot wound. Not like I didn’t enjoy the session, which I thoroughly did by the way, but like I said, I wasn’t expecting it.

“What the hell was that all about, Vin? I know men normally don’t talk but with something like this, you’d want to. I mean, I told you that I had slept with another man a week before we got married and you act like you could care less!”

“My darling, it’s kinda hard for me to explain. You’re my wife and I'm your husband because we love each other; we’re in love with each other. It doesn’t bother me at all that you slept with another man a week before we got married; we weren’t in a relationship for over a year. I didn’t expect you to be celibate nor did I expect you to NOT be in a relationship even though we didn't realize at the time that we were in love. You ran away from me because you were hurt emotionally, verbally, physically and mentally from two low life jerks. You were afraid to be hurt again. I understand that. If you want to seek counseling, let’s go. I’ll go with you – we can do this together. We’re a team.

I know you have trust issues and I don’t expect you to trust me over night. I haven’t hurt you since you were my student, I have not hurt you a year ago and I haven’t hurt you during our marriage. I can’t guarantee that I’ll never hurt you – we’re bound to hurt each other eventually but unintentionally. Our love is too strong to allow hurtful words to affect our marriage. I may not be the best at verbalizing to you how much I love you and that I’m more in love with you each day that we’re together; I show you physically how much I love you.”

Vince leaned down to kiss me softly. I couldn’t help but moan. I love how my husband kisses me. I reach around his neck, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.

“Vin,” I moan. “Come to bed with me. I want to show you how much I love my wonderful husband.”

Vince scoops me up in his arms and carries me back to bed. We spend the next couple of hours making love. After a while we fell asleep. A sharp pain in my abdomen woke me. I scream in pain, waking up Vince in the process. I felt a rush of fluid come out of my apex. 

“Baby, call Matt. Something’s happened to the baby!”

Vince calls Matt, waking up the poor man telling him to rush over to our suite. I turn on the light by my bed and look at the sheets. The sheets are soaked in blood. I feel woozy but thankful that I’m still in bed. As I move the sheets away, I hear Vince’s voice calling my name – he sounds so far away, everything looks hazy.

I lose consciousness for the second time in less than ten hours.

One intense session

After telling Vince why I was out, the thoughts that were going through my head, I went back into the kitchen with the now empty mug and plate to put them in the dishwasher. Still not feeling one hundred percent better after having the tea and toast, I head back to the bedroom.

As I was heading to the bedroom, I took my clothes off, dropping each piece of clothing on my way, too lazy to carry them with me. I was down to my lacey panties and bra but I was still too hot so I took them off as well. I lay down on top of the comforter, too lazy and too hot to get under the sheets, and closed my eyes.

A few minutes later, I feel the mattress give under someone’s weight on the other side. I open my eyes and see that it’s Vince. I meant to groan internally but it escaped from my mouth. I sighed. Vince was going to think……

Before I could even finish that thought, Vince’s mouth was sucking on my one breast and squeezing the other. Good Lord, it felt so good but I knew I’d be in trouble….Vince would want to make love.

“No, Vince,” I moan. “Don’t stop. It feels so good. I want you.”

Vince began to suck and bite on the other breast and squeezing harder on the breast he had sucked on first. I grasp his head so he doesn’t move and I'm unable to stop moaning. My breasts are a bit swollen and sensitive due to the pregnancy but at a time like this, I am NOT complaining.

With his hands, Vince spreads my legs and puts four fingers inside the apex of my thighs; I just about reach an orgasm but he takes his fingers out and slides his head down. He takes my legs and places them over his shoulders has his tongue tangos with my sensitive nub. He begins to lick, suck and bite the apex. I spread my legs wider so he can give me more pleasure. Within a few seconds, I explode screaming his name and my apex is dripping wet.

When I catch my breath, I unbutton and unzip his pants, sliding his jeans and boxers off of him. I grab his hardened large appendage in both hands, stroking up and down, making his appendage grow even more. I throw him on his back and I slide down his body, putting his extremely large appendage in my mouth. As I lick and suck him, he starts thrusting his hips up so his appendage can go deeper in my mouth. I take his entire appendage in my mouth, deep throating him, going past my tonsils.

He slides me off of him, grabbing pillows throwing them in the middle of the bed, placing me stomach down on the pillows, spreads my legs and rams his appendage deep inside me with one thrust. I moan his name. As he’s thrusting so hard into me, he reaches around to squeeze my swollen and sensitive breasts harder than he’s squeezed before. I love what he’s doing to my breasts. I moan and scream in pleasure, not caring how loud I am.

Vince knows we’re both ready to explode. He grabs my hips and thrusts, harder, deeper than before. With his large appendage so deep inside of me, it feels like it’s rearranging my internal organs. We explode together, as always, screaming each other’s name then collapse.

Questions and doubts

After being here in the Vatican City for three and a half months, we still weren't much closer to find out who tried to get Benny killed. I couldn't hide my pregnancy from Mom and Don anymore but they didn't say anything. Well, at least to my face they hadn't but they definitely did to Vince. Thankfully I didn't have morning sickness – often. It’s nothing that a few crackers and ginger ale couldn't fix.

I’ve been noticing some strange things lately. The Swiss Guard and the Vatican Police were keeping their distance from me and weren’t looking to me for direction. I wasn’t sure what to think of that. Really, the only thought I had about it was that I’d been there for so long and I’m still waiting on my and Vince’s Italian citizenship. Oh and that I’m working independently for the InterPol.

About three hours ago, I decided to take a walk in the private garden set aside just for Benny. I wasn't armed and couldn’t wear my custom made Kevlar vest – I couldn’t wear it due to the pregnancy. I was off duty and needed some time to myself. Vince was getting to me a little bit; adding some stress which caused a strain between us. I began to question the marriage and why we got married within a week of coming back on a vacation with Joe.

I was wondering if I’d been that desperate to marry a man old enough to be my uncle. Am I in love with my husband? Do I love my husband as a person? Is he in love with me? Does he even love me as a person?

To be honest, I didn’t know any of the answers to the questions I asked myself. I knew that Mom and Don were happy for Vince and me. They truly believed that Vince and I were happy and in love. I didn’t want to deceive anyone especially myself.

Like I said, I was off guard. Okay, so I was distracted. I’m not going to lie. The next thing I knew was hearing a gun shooting and feeling a burning sensation on the upper part of my arm. I began to feel a warm stickiness trickle down.

I turn around and begin to sprint back to the papal palace. As soon as I enter, I whip out my cell phone my Italian doctor, Matt, to come visit me immediately. The answering service told me that they’d relay the message to him. I dash to my room, raid the medicine cabinets to find gauze. I’m lucky, I find gauze and I find medical tape. As soon as I have gauze and medical tape on where I was hit from the bullet I pass out on the floor before I could even make it half way to the couch.

Who knows how much time had passed after I lost consciousness but I woke up on the couch. Good old smelling salts did the trick to wake me up. I felt extremely groggy and felt such a tremendous pain in my left arm. I tried to lift my head up off the pillow; I only got my head up a few inches before feeling nauseous. I plopped my head back down. I asked everyone to leave the room so I could speak to Matt alone.

“Matt, what happened after I passed out or fainted or whatever you wanna call it? I’ve been shot before but never had I fainted or passed out afterwards. Did my body go into shock or something?”

“Maggie dear, you lost consciousness. Thankfully you were unconscious for only a few minutes. You feel groggy now because of adrenaline – your body knew that you had to get out of the garden and back here to protect yourself and your baby. Once inside a safe place, your body just shut down from using the adrenaline rush. You need to rest for the next twelve to twenty four hours. I know you won’t want to but you need to for the sake of your baby – you could risk the chance of having a miscarriage if you don’t rest.”

“You’re right, I don’t want to rest for the next day nor do I want to risk the miscarriage. I’ll read a book or even try to watch a movie or something. Hopefully I can sit still long enough to get through a book or a movie.”

“Normally when someone loses consciousness due to a traumatic experience, I prescribe a mild sedative, but with you, the baby and the gunshot wound, I’m uncomfortable doing so. Drink decaffeinated tea; eat five light meals today and tomorrow. I’ll leave more prenatal vitamins for you on my way out.”

“Thanks, Matt. Hey. Can you send in Mom and Don for a moment? I want to reassure them that I’m fine”.

Matt nods his head in agreement before he leaves. As he’s halfway out the door, he turns around and told me that he took off the gauze and medical tape I applied, cleaned the wound and put on fresh gauze and medical tape; leaving more supplies of both by the prenatal vitamins.

Mom and Don walk in, looking slightly worried about me. I explained that Matt thoroughly checked me out; both the baby and I are fine and that I need to rest for the next twenty four hours. They were reassured a little bit but still worried about the baby. I told them not to worry, I have Matt’s number on speed dial and that he’d check in on me and the baby first thing in the morning. They hugged me and left, sending in Vince.

Part of me wanted to be comforted by my husband but the other part of me wanted nothing to do with him at the moment. I know he’s worried about both the baby and I – we’d never used protection so I know he’s the father. Even knowing that, I had major doubts about my marriage and relationship with him. I’ve been hurt badly by other men that I’m unable to trust what men tell me. I believed Vince from the get go when he’s told me that he loves me; I’ve never been able to mistrust him when it comes to that. He’s never even given me a reason to NOT trust him, but I still struggle with my past and I know I always will.

“Baby, how are you? I’ve been SO worried about you. How’s the baby? How are you?” Vince says as he helps me slowly sit up so the room doesn’t spin.

“I’ve felt better than this. Can you help me get to the kitchen? I want to make some tea and toast,” I ask Vince. “I need to move around a little bit. The couch isn’t comfortable at all.”

Vince looks a little nervous about me moving around, knowing that I need to rest. I assure him that it’s not going to cause any strain on me or the baby if I walk around. I’m hoping that he can give me some space as I make the tea and toast; I need to gather my thoughts before I talk with him. I know it’s going to be difficult to talk about the marriage, the trust issues I have, etc.

Once I make the tea and toast, I head back to the living room and find the most comfortable recliner and slowly sit down.

“Vin, honey, I know you’re caught up in how I am at the moment but I hope we can worry about that in a little bit. You know that I normally don’t take a walk without being armed. I thought my walk would be safe, secure and fine, but apparently it wasn’t. The reason why I went so far out of the papal palace was to figure out my emotions, what’s going on between us; that kinda thing.”

“Maggie, what’s going on? Do you regret marrying me? Do you have any doubts – of me, my love for you? You’re making me nervous. Do want a divorce?”

“Please hear me out, Vinnie, ok? I told you that I couldn’t go to Limon, Costa Rica last year with you but never told you why. I was raped and beaten by an old boyfriend and a friend of his three months before we were supposed to go. Weeks before we were supposed to go, I found out that I was pregnant. I didn’t get a DNA test to find out who the father was and decided to have an abortion; I didn't want to face my ex boyfriend and his friend. I was informed that I was unable to fly on any plane for the next two to three months.

As you know, I went with my friend Joe a few months ago. You met him at the airport when we flew back home. I’d known him since we were six years old. We lost contact because I moved in the summer between fourth and fifth grades. A few days before I went with him, he, doing a favor for a friend, was working on road construction on my road. Every day around lunch time, after remembering who I am, he came over for lunch. I told him everything about the rape and the abortion. The next day, he kissed me. One thing led to another and we made love. I made sure he used a condom even though I was told my chances of becoming pregnant was now close to impossible due to the abortion.

After spending the night, he made a few calls while he was working, booked two first class tickets to Limon, told Mom and Don and whisked me off, telling me that he’d show me how a real man makes love to a woman. Each time, he used a condom, knowing that I wasn’t in the right state of mind to have a child; especially when I’m NOT married.”

“Wow,” Vince began to say.

“Let me finish. It was a little awkward for me to see you at the airport knowing that I’d made love with Joe several times. It was even more awkward for me when you proposed, but you didn’t know.

I’ve been questioning our marriage for the past week. I’ve wondered why we got married the week after coming back home from vacation with Joe. I was with another man, Vin. It was like it didn’t matter to you that I was with another man. I’m surprised that you didn’t even ask what had happened.

I’ve asked myself if I’d been that desperate to marry a man old enough to be my uncle. Am I in love with you? Do I love you as a person? Are you in love with me? Do you even love me as a person? I don’t have the answer to those questions!”