Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Momentary lapse in judgement

Today after work, I had a momentary lapse in judgment. My friend, “Bob”, invited me over to his house for a few shots of Jack. I had a few shots too many shots and I slept with him.
Between the stresses of work, Jimmy killing himself just before Mother’s Day, finding another job, the tension/stress between D and I, not getting enough sleep and my uncle diagnosed with three types of cancer…..drinking is the last thing I should’ve done; especially with Bob. Nothing against the guy but he’s not exactly the type of guy I’d sleep with or even have a relationship with.
After leaving his house, he’s called me, texted me, emailed me and has sent me several messages via Facebook Messenger asking me why I split so fast afterwards. I finally got back to him just a few minutes ago that I had to take my mother to the doctor’s to get her broken foot checked out and to see how it was healing.
To be honest with you, I was ashamed (and regret) that I slept with Bob because of how I feel about D. Of all people that I desire or want to have sex with, I want it to be D; but yet I know if that were to happen and someone would find out, the both of us would lose our job.

All I know is that D makes me all kinds of nervous.

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