An interesting explanation; not sure if I believe it

He took my suitcase and I took my bag of toiletries and books out to the waiting taxi. As we headed back to his brother’s apartment, neither of us said anything. What would normally be a 25 minute drive without the traffic took just about an hour. When we got to his brother’s building, I reached into my purse to grab my wallet so I could pay the driver but my co worker told me to save my money and that he already paid the driver and gave him a hefty tip. I thanked him, grabbed my bags and got out. As I made my second trip up the elevator in less than 24 hours, I couldn’t look at anyone in the building; I was doing my second walk of shame in the building. I knew everyone had seen me go into my co worker’s brother’s apartment for a quickie, do the walk of shame out and do the walk of shame back inside. I kept my head down, my hair hiding my face. I didn’t want anyone to see my embarrassment or see me crying. My co worker led us back to the apartment, opened up and followed me in. He took my bags from me and placed them in the spare room he cleaned and organized for my use.

“Do you want anything to drink? Any tea? Vodka?” he asked awkwardly.

“No thanks. You don’t have to do this; being nice to me. Look, I could always go back to my apartment or go to my buddy’s apartment. All we had was a good fuck. That’s all we had. There’s nothing between us; no chemistry, no love, no history. I wasn’t looking for anything more than a one night stand. We’ll call the boss, said that we got here but we won’t say anything about me going to my buddy’s apartment in the Village. I’ll be out of your hair and we won’t see each other again….unless work requires it” I said.

“I know that we’re awkward right now. I should’ve told you about my wife from the beginning but I’m sorry that I didn’t. I know that I don’t need to explain myself but I want to. I’m recently married, my wife and I moved to Texas but I couldn’t find a job there so my brother told me about the job I have now, so I came back, applied and now have the job. I invited my wife back as soon as I accepted the job but she likes it down there. I invited her again but she doesn’t want to. I filed legal documents stating I want a legal separation from her. We do have a daughter; she’s another man’s child but I’m her legal father.

The reason why I’m telling you this is because I felt that we had chemistry before you came over last night. I felt sparks fly between us. I know you weren’t looking for anything last night and neither was I; until we met. Baby, I feel something between us. You can deny it all you want, but sweetie, I know you. You want me as much as I want you but you’re afraid; you’ve been hurt before. I promise you this, love, I will never harm you or hurt you physically, emotionally or mentally; I’m incapable of hurting the woman I love. You witnessed that yourself last night. I do have to disagree with you on one thing about last night….It wasn’t a “good fuck” as you described it. A “fuck” implies no passion, a faked orgasm and one of the involved people leaves. Baby, what we had was making love….we had so much passion, neither of us faked despite you leaving in the end.

Let’s not call the boss man about you leaving. You’re staying with me. I called him this morning to let him know that I used his apartment with a special woman that I knew that works with the company but you left because you need to get stuff for your shift. He has an idea of what happened here last night but if he has any suspicion why you’re leaving twice in less than 24 hours, he’ll definitely know…it could be trouble for me if you leave” he said.

“WHAT?!?!” I shriek. “The boss is your brother? What are you? Half brothers? Step brothers? That little fucker! Wait….how could it be trouble for you if I leave? It already is trouble for you!” I said.

“We grew up in an orphanage together and neither one of us had any siblings. We were tight as time went one and once we both received our walking papers the day after out 18^th birthdays, we continued to call each other “brother” although we never changed our last names; never felt like it was important. It’ll be trouble for me if you leave because my brother threatened to expose the fact that I’m unhappily married man stepping out on my wife with a woman I love. This company is family owned and family run. I’d lose my job if I left. I made a deal with my brother; once the divorce papers are signed by both my estranged wife and me, I have to wait 6 months before I marry you. I can’t marry you less than 6 months after the divorce…..it has to be 6 months to the day and/or after the fact” he said.

“Hold the phone. Who the hell said I wanted to marry you? Even IF I did, how would I know that you wouldn’t be stepping out on me like you’re doing with your wife? Sorry, dude, but I don’t trust you nor can I. At this point, I don’t want to see you or hear you. Just lock me in the spare room until your brother allows me out of this miserable prison!” I said, grabbing a bottle of water and some crackers and stomped off to the spare room.

What made him think I’d marry him? I wouldn’t nor could I! Even IF he was legally separated from his wife or not, I wouldn’t know if he was stepping out on me. I’ve been cheated on before and I can’t trust anyone since then. Ugh. I called my boss to see what I could learn about my co worker and what he isn’t telling me.

All the boss told me is what his brother/my co worker told me. I asked if I would be safe with his brother and he said I’m safer with his brother than I would be at Fort Dix! I laughed and jokingly said trouble would still hunt me down and easily find me whether I’m at Fort Dix or with his brother. I knew at that moment, I’d have a fight between myself and my co worker before the end of the third day. I’m just hoping that it won’t be World War III……I know it’s gonna be ugly but hoping not TOO ugly.

Never ending shit with the coworker

I opted to take the train home instead of using a taxi for two reasons. One, it was significantly cheaper. Two, people on the train to leave you alone; especially if your hair looks like a rat’s nest and if you’ve got mascara streaming down your face from crying. The train ride would take longer than taking a taxi but I didn’t mind at this point. I needed to think without getting asked a shit load of questions by the driver.

Once getting to my stop, I got out and threw my Jimmy Choo’s back on and walked the two and half city blocks to my building. I kinda booked it because I needed to take a shower and get some sleep in the next three hours before I go to work. I got to my door and noticed that the door was kicked in. I immediately called a friend of mine who works as a detective with the NYPD, asking him to come over after I explained my door. He came running over from the station down the block and stopped before colliding into me. He asked if I touched anything since I had arrived and I said that I hadn’t. He grabbed his gun, mentioned police presence and entered my apartment.

He came back out moments later and said that there was nothing missing or moved from my apartment. He said that I should go in to do a thorough search just in case. As I did so, he called crime scene techs in to double check as well and called the building manager to come up and to check out the door.

I called my boss and explained the situation. He said that he’d go ahead and pay me for the day as I took care of my apartment. He said that he’d pay me for the following  two days after that well so I could take the time I need to get my shit together, get the door fixed and maybe move into another building where there’s better security. I thanked my boss for his kindness and his understanding. Before hanging up with him, he said that he’s sending one of the closest field reps to pick me up so I could spend a few days with them as everything gets taken care of.

I go back into the apartment to gather some belongings so I could stay with the unnamed coworker that’s on their way. I should just ask my buddy from the NYPD if I could just crash on his super uncomfortable couch for a few days instead. As I walk over to him and just about to ask him, guess who walks in? No one other than the married coworker I’d just left a hours ago. I call my boss back asking if I could just send my coworker into work without me spending time at his house. I even mentioned my friend in the NYPD but my boss was insistent on my co worker. It didn’t work, unfortunately! I was to go home with my co worker and I was dreading it.

No longer engaged

Working some place different as A has been great for me. I've no longer had to rely on him and it's given us some space. I took my dad's truck over to A's while he was working, grabbed my stuff, left my key, my ring and a note explaining that I needed to end the engagement; thankfully after a few calls I was able to get ourselves a refund on what we put a deposit down on.

Don't get me wrong, I still love A very much and still kept my promise of setting M and B up but I can't be engaged to OR married to a man who tries to control me.

Once I got back home and unloaded my stuff from my dad's truck, my parents asked what happened. I told them that I had to end the engagement due to the fact that A was very controlling, he hated the fact that I was working someplace else, hated the fact that most of my friends are men, I had to tell him where I was going and who I was going out with (even had to give him their numbers). They were saddened a bit because they knew that A genuinely loves me but obviously had some issues showing me that he does. I say good riddance.

I ended up calling one of my new co workers to see if he were interested in going out for drinks. He didn't even hesitate; he said yes. We met up after we both got out of work. It was a great relief to chill and relax. We were there so long that we were told "Last call" about a hundred times. We stumbled outside and walked a block to his brother’s apartment.

As soon as we got in, we collapsed on the couch and continued to talk. Not long after, as I curled up against him, he started to kiss me. I had to pull back.....I'd just ended my engagement to a man I loved and now I'm kissing another man? I decided that I won’t let it bother me since I was no longer engaged and that I was a free woman.

I decided to kiss my coworker right back. In a matter of moments, we stripped off our clothes as we headed to the bedroom and started having sex. The way he touched and caressed my body was explosive. I couldn’t stop climaxing and screaming in pleasure.

After we both climaxed, we cuddled for a bit until his phone rang. He sighed and looked at who was calling.

“Hey, baby. How ya’ doing tonight? Oh. Me? I’m at my brother’s apartment watching ESPN2. Yeah. I’ll be leaving soon. Please kiss the baby good morning for me. Ok. See you soon. Love you, too” he said.

I got up and went to grab my clothes and glasses. Once I was dressed and wearing my glasses, I left the bed room to grab my phone from my purse to call a taxi.

“Hey. I need a taxi to come pick me up. Last taxi left at 2:45 am? Oh. I didn’t realize that you guys don’t come out this way. No. It’s fine. I’ll walk there from here. I know its 4 am in New York City and it’s not safe. I still need to get a taxi to get me the rest of the way home; there’s no way in hell that I’m walking over 100 city blocks to get home at this time of the morning. I’ll be there within an hour; yeah I know that I’m only a few blocks away but I’m wearing 6 inch heels. I’ll be there soon” I said then I hung up.

I grab the rest of my stuff and snag a water bottle out of the fridge. As I’m almost out the door, my coworker grabs me by the arm to stop me.

“Where are you going? I thought you’d be spending the night here with me” he said.

“You’re married. You couldn’t even tell me when I came in. If you did, I wouldn’t have had sex with you; I would’ve slept on the couch or something until I was ok enough to leave! Oh my God….I can’t believe I had sex with you. You used me to cheat on your wife. You have a baby for God’s sake! Thankfully we’re not working on the same field team. Do me a favor, delete my number, forget this ever happened and forget me” I said as I stormed out.

As soon as I got in the elevator, I took off my Jimmy Choo’s and grabbed them. Once off the elevator, I booked it to the closest train station to get back to my apartment. All I wanted was to get back home and all I needed was good hot shower and a quick nap before heading into work. I just hoped it worked!

Getting hit on while shopping at the food store

I started my new job this week. It was a great start to an amazing week. As hard as it was to not work with A all the time as well as not being with him 24/7. We’ve been stressed and snapping at each other all the time. We were in desperate need to force some kinda separation from each other before we said or did anything that we would’ve regretted. It’s a bit of a blessing that I have this job. It’s got a part of my work history/experience (sales) as well as my education (psychology, criminal justice and sociology).

Let’s take the afternoon that M and I had gone to the dive bar after work one afternoon. I’d told A that I was meeting with M there and that I’d mention that I was setting him up with my buddy B. A started getting in a huff after I got home 5 minutes later than I said I’d be home. A was jealous despite the fact that M is bisexual but is more sexually attracted to men than he is to women. A was jealous and he snapped when I got back home.

Just the other day, I told A that I was going back to stay with my parents for a few days because we were fighting too much. He wasn’t happy with that but understood the reason why (which was us fighting). So after coming home from church yesterday, my parents asked me to run to the food store to do some food shopping for the week. I said sure and off I went.

As I was in the shampoo aisle, I saw the shampoo that Mom wanted but not the conditioner. I went to customer service. The kid there said that the staff who take care of that aisle weren’t there today and nobody else knows where the conditioner is in the stock room. I asked if he could ask someone else to go back there and he said no. I nodded in the direction of the manager and I told the kid that his manager is right over my shoulder a few feet over and that he could ask him. The kid looked frightened to do so. I asked the manager myself. He went and took a look in the stock room; the conditioner wasn’t in stock. He offered a rain check and I said that I had a coupon that I wanted to use but it still had some time. So we went over to the shampoo aisle to look at the brand of shampoo that Mom wanted and that I had a coupon for. He said that he’d authorize the 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner when I check out.

He asked for my number and I said that I was engaged. He asked why the engagement ring was on my right ring finger instead of the left ring finger. I explained that A and I had been fighting often since we live together and until recently worked together; that we’re practically attached at the hip. The manager asked if I was still engaged and I said that yes, I am but not sure if my fiancée and I are going to end it or not since we fight more than anything else at the moment. He just nodded his head and said ok then he went on his way.

I finished my shopping and as I was unloading the bags from the cart to my car, the manager came out and helped despite my protests. I was about to hop into the car and he gently held me back from getting in. I looked him kinda funny then I realized he was about to kiss me. I was about to remind him that I am engaged, he kissed me with passion that I never felt before, even with A. I felt a fire burning in the pit of my stomach as I was kissing him back but I had to pull away.

I thanked the manager for showing me the passion that my fiancée and I were missing and reminded him that I’m still engaged. I got in the car and drove back to my mother’s. I felt a little guilty; I should’ve felt a whole lot more guilty than I was.

Two weeks' notice

I talked to my temp agency last week to officially give them my two weeks’ notice. They weren’t happy; especially D. It didn’t matter because D’s leaving, not sure when. T – the overnight supervisor – found another job and his last night was Thursday into Friday morning. V – the afternoon supervisor – left yesterday.

It’ll be tough not working with A every day because it’s something I’ve gotten used to and I loved working with my fiancé. I hadn’t had any problems with any of the guys since A and I announced our engagement

Some sad news.

Dear Readers,

First I just want to thank you for joining me in this bumpy ride and following my blog despite not flowing evenly, properly or whatever term you want to use.

Second, I’m sorry that I haven’t posted since I announced the engagement of A and I. Life’s been a little crazy with the wedding come up soon plus the three supervisors at my temp agency are all leaving and their replacements are getting shown the ropes. I’m really not making it easy for any of the new supervisors. A and I are working like crazy; working 12 hour days so I end up seeing the new supervisors. They all threaten to get rid of me once they’re official – which will be in 3 weeks. The funny thing? I gave my two weeks’ notice the other day….I’ll be gone before they can get rid of me. Plus I’m not making too big of trouble; I’m not really listening to them – I’m listening to A since he pretty much stole me out of the clutches of the agency and became my unofficial boss.

The last thing. Ugh. Very sad to announce that my (distant) cousin died the other day. I’ve met him a few times over the past 30 odd years. It hurts to know that he died young (mid 60’s) and has kids my age.

I’ll be taking some time away to mourn my cousin. I hope you understanding.

Xoxo

Deppgrl

Prendere un giorno di malattia/Taking a sick day

Ciao a tutti! Per i miei lettori americani, Happy Labor Day! Per i miei lettori non americani, Buon lunedì!

Sperando che tutti si sta godendo il loro giorno - anche se è il temuto Lunedi. Mi sono bloccato a letto passando attraverso scatole dei tessuti, la medicina freddo, tè caldo, gocce per la tosse, i libri e maglieria. Potrei anche iniziare a guardare Il Padrino Trilogia ..... cioè se riesco a stare sveglio!

È ora di aggiungere un altro felpa, paio di calzini e coperta ..... Sono assolutamente odio essere freddo quando sono malato.



Hello, everyone! To my American readers, Happy Labor Day! To my non American readers, Happy Monday!

Hoping everyone is enjoying their day - even though it is the dreaded Monday. I am stuck in bed going through boxes of tissues, cold medicine, hot tea, cough drops, books and knitting. I might even start watching The Godfather Trilogy.....that is if I can stay awake!!

Time to add another sweatshirt, pair of socks and blanket.....I totally hate being cold when I am sick.