I'm an idiot

So I admit that I’m the biggest idiot in the world. Hope you don’t mind me sharing the story with you guys. Saturday, December 13^th, I wasn’t feeling well at all and cancelled all my plans. I wasn’t sure how sick I was but I figured it’d be better if I just stayed home and rested. I texted him to give him a head’s up.

“Hey. I’m not coming in tonight because I’m feeling unwell. Hopefully, next week I’ll be in”.

“Ok. Not a problem. Hope you feel better”.

“Thanks” I said.

About 20 minutes later, I text him again. This shows how I lack finesse when not feeling well! Wait till you hear about my drunk texts! **internal groans**

“Mind if I’m honest with you?”

I don’t hear anything for about 20 minutes so I proceed.

“I know that you’re married and that you love your wife. I just wanted to let you know that I care about you more than I should and I have since the first day I met you. I know that I’m pretty much a no one to you but I also know that you won’t leave your wife but I just wanted to let you know what I was feeling.”

A few hours go by before he says anything. He finally texts me saying “No problem”. Um, ok, right??

 Last night, December 19^th, I went in for a brief dinner. Thankfully nobody told him that I was in. When I ordered, I asked the server NOT to let him know that I was in but I’m sure someone else made him aware.

When my entrée came out, it was obvious that he knew at that point……I’ve seen the dishes that he makes that go out. They look good but not like how mine comes out. Anyways, one bite of my entrée, and I’m in love with the food. I text him saying that the chicken francese is to die for and that it’s the best I’ve had. An hour and a half go by and no word. It was a little busy but I’ve seen him busier than that and still be able to respond to a call or a text but whatever. I finish, order dessert and then pay my bill. I gave the server approximately 41% tip and she had a cow. I love the girl to death; she’s a great server and works her ass off. Not to mention, very gorgeous!! As I left, I texted him saying good night.

I leave and head to a local movie theater to see a new movie. Three quarters of the way through, he finally texts me apologizing to me saying that he was busy. I told that there’s no need to explain because I understand.

                Since I still have the conversation, there’ve been a few times throughout the day that I’ve seen him type because of the “……” symbol but he ends up deleting whatever he writes. I’m not too bothered by it because I’m just someone who cares for him even though I know that I shouldn’t. According to my best friend, I’m in love with this guy. I’m sure that what my friend said isn’t too far off from the truth but at least I’m admitting to I care for him more than I should……..my Hispanic Johnny Depp.

A love interest I can't have

There was a man that worked for my brother that I had a major crush on. He’s the one that left to work for another restaurant. It took me 3 to 4 months to hear his voice, a week later to get his number and three days later to screw him.

In that time, I’ve seen him a few times, ate at the restaurant a few times. First time I went, I wanted to let him know but had no idea how to tell him that I was going in to eat. He was shocked as all get out and texted me. He started out nice and pleasant but after a few minutes later, he became frustrated and we stopped texting.

I’ve gone in a few times since. Most of the time, I’d go in without texting him and then later thanking him for the food. Twice I texted him to let him know I was coming in. The last time I texted him was this past Saturday.

“Hey. I’m going to be coming in tonight to eat. Not sure what time yet. Is that going to be a problem? If it is, I won’t come in,” I say.

“Hey. It’s fine. Just let me know when you get here,” he said.

“Not a problem,” I said.

A few hours go by. I get a haircut and buy some wine. I slowly make my way over to the restaurant. It’s 6:15 when I get there and it’s dead inside.

“Hey,” I said. “Just me and this bottle of wine tonight.”

“Any particular place you want to sit? You wanna be in a booth, a chair; a private area?” the host asked.

“Right there is fine,” I said pointing to a table that sorta looks into the kitchen when the swinging doors open. “It’s fine.”

I followed the host to the table I pointed out and sat down. When the server came to the table, without looking at the menu, I ordered my normal app and another one that I hadn’t had there before. I played on my phone a bit and drank some wine as I was waiting for the apps. I had half of one and the entire app – the one I hadn’t had before while I was there.

A few minutes later, my entrée came to the table. I enjoyed it but not as much as I should’ve; found it too salty from the sausage and possible extra salt added. I ate half of it and had it wrapped. I waited a bit and then ordered dessert and a cappuccino. As I paid the check and was reading a book on the Kindle app on my phone, I received a text from him.

“How was the food?” he asked.

“It was perfect. I’ve always loved what you’ve cooked for me & always will. You know that,” I said. “Knowing that you cooked for me was such a turn on!”

“Thank you very much, mi querida,” he said. “Hopefully, you can pick me up from work one night. Te necesito, bebe!”

When he said that, I blushed and then started kicking myself. He’s a married man, but I'm in love with him.

Everything's getting better.

I ended up bringing the dickwad partially home. He started going off on a rant that I was NOT treating him with the respect he deserves because I’d been ignoring him. I told him that he has no right to say that because he has to earn my respect first in order for me to disrespect him. He asked who the hell I was and I told him that I’m his boss’s kid sister; I don’t give a flying fuck if he likes me, hates me, loves me or not but I’m demanding the respect from him.

He starts yelling at me and disrespecting me, calling me all different kind of names in both English and Spanish. Little does he know that I understand quite a bit of what he’s saying in Spanish.

“Escuchme, puta! El hecho de que nos cogio una vez no te da al derecho de llarme puta, prostituta, y cualquier otra cosa que quieras. Yo so la hermana del jefe. Eres la ayuda. Ya sea que quiera o no, yo so parte de la gestion y puedo tenerte despedido en santiamen. Ni siquiera necesito una razon. Una palabra a mi hermano y te has ido! Usted me faltas el respeto, me gritas o me llamas un nombre una vez mas, te puedo garantizar que en menos de minutes que no tendra un trabajo mas!” I said, telling him that just because we fucked one time doesn’t give him the right to call me names, I’m the boss’s sister, he’s the help; whether he wants to or not he needs to respect me or I can have him fired in a heartbeat, I don’t need a reason just need one word to my brother and less than two minutes, he won’t have a job anymore.

He shut up immediately. A few seconds later, I had the chance to pull over and stopped my car. I told him to get the hell out of my car. He started calling me crazy. I picked up my personal cell phone to call my brother. Before the phone could ring once, the dickwad apologized so I hung up my phone and repeated the request for him to get the hell out of my car. He started to protest. I unbuckled my seatbelt, leaned over him to open the door, unbuckled him, threw his bag out of the car and yelled at him to get the fuck out. He threatened to call the police on me. I asked what the cops are gonna do for him, laugh at him for being an idiot? I told him the police wouldn’t side with him! They’d side with me because I was trying to protect myself from an over sized, over muscled, low IQ thug.

He finally got out, cursing that I kicked him out of my car but I didn’t care. I turned around and headed home. As I was driving home, my brother called me on the business phone he has given me.

“Hey, sis. What’s going on with H? Why did you kick him out of your car on such a cold night?” my brother asked. “I know that you had a good reason!”

“Oh. He thinks that me driving him home means something but it doesn’t. He got mad at me for not giving him the respect he claims he deserves from me. I called him out on that. He started calling me names in English and Spanish so I yelled at him,” I explained.

“What exactly did you tell him?” my brother asked. “He said that you threatened to dismember his penis from his body!”

“Really? He said that?” I asked. “He was calling me whore and prostitute so I told him that I’m your kid sister, on some level of management, he’s the help. I’m the one who deserves the respect, NOT him! I told him that all I need is one word to you and that he’d be fired in a heartbeat. I pulled over and told him countless times to get the fuck out of my car.”

“Anything else happen?” my brother prodded me.

“I opened his door, unbuckled him, threw his bag out of the car and told him again to get out of my car. He said he’d call the cops on me, I replied that the cops would side with me and not him. He started cursing that I kicked him out of my car for no good reason but I didn’t care!”

“First, you know how I feel about you driving the staff home; especially the guys. Second, how long has he been treating you like this? Third, I don’t want him in your car anymore or even near your car. Fourth, I will warn him NOT to piss you off and to respect you, not because you’re my kid sister, but because I have you on staff as management to run the restaurant when I’m not there. If need be, call me again if he treats you like this again and I’ll authorize you to fire him. Fifth, I do NOT anyone in your car with you if I don’t trust them 100% with you.  The only person on my staff that is not related to either of us, including my wife your sister in law, is R. I know that you drive him home almost every night. I’d rather you not but he’s the only one I trust with my life and your life. No other male staff member is allowed in your car without someone else in it with you two!”

“Understood loud and clear, boss!” I said, glad to know that my brother had my back.

“I’m off to call that bastardo back and tell him to back off of you. If he bothers you again, just let me know, ok, kiddo?”

“Got it,” I said. “Love you, meat head!”

“Good,” he replied. “Love you too, fat head!”

“Shit for brains!” I replied.

“Pea brain!” my brother said.

“Snot for brains!” I said.

“Puta!” he called me!

“Ooooh, like that hurt, brother!” I replied.  “That cut deep, hijo de puta!”

“Ok, I’m going to bed, you little brat! Get home safely!” my brother said.

“Will do, butthead. See you tomorrow!” I said.

I got home safely and went straight to bed. The next morning when I went into work, the dickwad ignored me most of the day, thank God for my brother. The day went on ok and everyone was asking if I was ok and I said I was fine then asked why. They said that this guy was informed that if he said anything directly to me during the next 36 hours that we worked together, my brother would fire him and file a harassment suit against him for harassing me constantly. I batted my eyelashes like I was in shock and claimed that it was news to me – even though I secretly knew my brother would do something like that to protect me.

The weeks have gone on since then and I’ve had no problems with him since. One time I had asked him to make me lunch and he did. I was surprised that he did and that it was up to my brother’s standards. At the end of the day, I went up to him and thanked him for lunch and that he surprised me which is a good thing. He looked a little surprised but he thanked me for my kind words and I went on my way.

A few days later, my brother fired the guy’s sorry ass.

How fastly things change

I wish things have been getting easier at work but things have become more difficult. My brother is still laid up in a wheel chair – which makes it hard for him to work in the restaurant, makes him desiring to be back to work sooner rather than later, I’m continuing to break up fights within the staff, yelling at some of the male staff for touching me inappropriately and me not getting enough sleep . My sister in law and her parents have been so amazing through this entire thing.

My brother has been doing so well but has a minor setback right now. One of the incision sites looked slightly infected so he had to go to his doctor’s to have it checked out earlier today. It was showing the beginning stages of infection so the staff at the office cleaned it out and the doctor prescribed antibiotics for my brother to take as a precautionary measure. The toughest thing to see and hear at the doctor’s office was seeing my brother SO cold. He’s NEVER cold; he’s always warm and wearing shorts and t shirts year round. At his in – law’s place, he had blankets on top of blankets on top of more blankets; somewhere in the pile of blankets, he had an electric blanket on the highest setting!!

Last week was my crush’s last week. The last night that he was in, I gave him a hug goodbye and walked off to my car and headed home. I’m embarrassed to say that I cried a good part of the way home. He’s a very good man and we had nothing for respect for each other. I knew that he wouldn’t leave his family for me but I still fell pretty hard for him. One of the employees brought him home and the following day, the employee told me that my crush was a bit upset that it was his last night and that he’d miss me terribly and wish he got to know me more; other than being the boss’s kid sister. Oh well. It’s better off that he’s gone because I’m hoping that there’s someone out there for me and I need to get over him.

Speaking of which, we have a new kid working at the restaurant. He’s a little bit younger than I am, pretty nice but very quiet. In the two or three weeks that he’s been here, we’ve barely said 100 words to each other; even when I’ve driven him home, we barely speak. He rarely speaks to the rest of the staff as well. I think he barely speaks to me because I’m the boss’s kid sister. Or so I thought.

On Tuesday night after I left early, he texted me to ask if I could bring him home and I replied with yes and that I’d return before he’s ready to go. I drove back and parked. Moments later, he stepped outside, came over to my car and hopped in. As I started to drive him home, he said that he doesn’t have any money to pay me gas money. I said that I wasn’t asking for it nor do I want it. He said that he feels bad that I drive him home and he doesn’t pay me. I told him that he’s kinda on my way home anyways so it’s no problem; if it was a problem, I woulda said something to him. Outta nowhere, he asked if he could return the favor by him giving me the best sex that I’ve had. Internally, I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t believe this guy!! Doesn’t he know who I am? Whose sister I am? Apparently he didn’t care!! For fuck’s sake!! Neither did I.

So I said sure. He said to get him home as soon as I could and I sped like a maniac the rest of the way back to his house. When I parked, he flew out of the car, running to the driver’s side to haul me out and drag me into his house, running past his family, right into his room. He slammed the door behind me, locked the door and just about ripped my clothes right off followed by his clothes. He stopped for a second so he could turn his radio on so no one could hear us but his family already knew what we were going to do.

He pushes me against the bed, my one shoulder hitting the bed post, making me scream in the process. He grabs my purse and dumps it so he could grab a condom, rolls it on and thrusts his seven inch long, three inch wide cock inside me. I scream in a mix of pain and pleasure. He pounds into me until I lose count how many times I orgasm.

He flips me over and starts fucking the hell out of my ass. In a matter of seconds, we both orgasm together. He pulls out, rips the condom off and flops to his side.

“I can’t believe how hard you made me and how hard I still am!” he panted. “If I hadn’t pulled a 12 hour day, I would be up for another round with you.”

“Lay back,” I said with a mischievous smile. Once he did, I took as much of his big cock in my mouth and sucked him for a long ass time. Twice, in a matter of ten minutes, he came in my mouth; screaming in pleasure both times.

As soon as he came the second time, he rolled me onto my back, spread my legs and used his mouth to pleasure my mound. In no time flat, he had me screaming in pleasure again.

“Freaky girl,” he called me as he rolled another condom on. “I’m really gonna make you scream out this time. I’m gonna fuck you till you can’t walk anymore!”

“I put 50 Shades to shame,” I said. “Tie me up, spank me, pull my hair, bruise my tits; I don’t mind what you do as long as your neighbors know your name when you’re done with me!”

Over the next hour and a half, he had his way with me countless times, going through who knows how many boxes of condoms. By the end of the time, I was hoarse, had a sore mound, sore ass from being spanked and fucked and huge bruises all over my body; tits included. He helped me get dressed, walked me out to my car, gathered his things and made me promise him that I’d text him when I got home.

Once home, I just got ready for bed, forgetting – purposely – to let him know that I got home ok. Not too long after I fell asleep, my phone started ringing and woke me up. It was him.

“What the fuck, boo?” he said. “You were supposed to let me know that you got home ok!! Jesus! I’ve been worried about you!”

“Good lord, Papi!” I said. “It takes me an hour to get home from your neck of the woods and after our fuck fest, you expect me to believe that you were worried about me? I don’t think so! But yes, I’m home, safe and sound. I’ll see you tomorrow!” I hung up on him and turned my phone off for the rest of the night.

When I went in the next day, I could barely look at him. Everyone, including him, asked me if I was ok. I said I was and that I hadn’t slept well the night before; which was the truth. I didn’t need to explain myself to them. For a good portion of the day, he kept looking at me to see if I was really ok like I said I was.

Later that night, he pulled me aside to ask me if I could give him a ride home. I nodded that I would and went to go finish what I needed to get done. I wanted to get done pretty fast so I could get him home and then on my way home. I finished in no time flat, gathered my stuff – bringing it to my car – grabbed my purse and told him that I was ready. He grabbed his stuff, changed in front of me, and then we were on our way.

We barely spoke, as usual, as I drove him home. It was a little awkward for me since I am the boss’s kid sister and this guy could care less, but whatever. We had sex and that was it. No need to discuss it because it meant nothing to either of us; other than a fuck.

“Thanks,” he said.

“No problem,” I replied. “See you tomorrow.”

“I meant for not saying anything to anyone about what happened last night,” he said. “The last person I want to know what happened is your brother. I have much respect for him; and for you – that I didn’t say anything to anyone. It’s no one’s business but ours.”

“Why on earth would I say anything? No one needs to know what anyone else does outside of here; especially when it comes to me. There’s a ton about me that my brother doesn’t know and that it’s not his business to know; last night included.” I said. “I just won’t fuck you again.”

“Why won’t we fuck again?” he asked.

“We both work for my brother, I expect whoever is my fuck buddy to stay fucking me alone – no other woman is permitted – you were around for a good fuck and nothing more,” I said. “You’re really not my type. Sure, you’re Hispanic, strong as all get out and attractive but we’re on different pages. I need someone to talk with and maintain a conversation but that’s not you. You’re a womanizer; I need a man instead of a boy. I need someone who can handle my strong personality and back down; not sure if that’s you but like I said I’m not interested in anyone who continues to womanize when I want a fuck buddy who won’t give me an STD.”

I drove off and went straight home. The entire time I was driving, he was calling and texting me but I ignored him. I didn’t have the patience to deal with him that night.

Thursday night he had off and worked on Friday. The entire night, he kept trying to flirt with me but I kept ignoring him until I had to drive him home. We talked about the last conversation that we had. I explained that the less we talk at work, the better it looks; like we’ve got nothing really to do with each other except for working the same days. He was hurt that I didn’t talk as much to him as I do with the other guys. I told him that I work with everyone else 6 days a week for the past 8 months and have a rapport and relationship with them; I wasn’t trying to exclude him but I’m not trying to offend either.

I worked Valentine’s, had off on Sunday, worked yesterday – as did he but he had a ride – and we both worked today and couldn’t really talk to him today because I didn’t feel like it. I know, it’s rude, but it’s not my job to be friends with him or anyone else on staff!!

As I was gathering my things in the office, he came up to me to ask if I could bring him home, I said sure but he knew that I didn’t want to even though he knows I will because I don’t want anyone walking home after dark, especially in such cold weather like tonight.

A few stressful weeks

Dear Readers,

I’ve had a really rough few weeks lately. Three weeks ago, my uncle, who’d been battling cancer, passed away. I took a few days off from working crazy hours at my brother’s restaurant in order to represent the both of us at the funeral.

            For a funeral, it was a good one. Luckily, the viewing was by invite only for non family members. The actual funeral service at the church was something I just really can’t put into words. The church was packed and there were people standing in the back. It was great to see how many people respected, cared about and loved my uncle.

After the service there was visiting time/mini repast before the actual funeral. It was just amazing to hear many personal stories about what a positive influence he was in the community as a pharmacist, a soccer coach (coached for 30 years), taught adult Sunday school and still raised a family with my aunt. At the cemetery site, it was just family and the pall bearers - who were former soccer players for my uncle. One of the guys kept a medal he won years ago when he played soccer and as he was paying his respects, he left the medal on my uncle’s casket. When I saw the guy do that, I just broke down crying; that was the first time I cried since I heard of my uncle’s passing.

The day after the funeral, I drove home. It took me a solid 15 hours. As soon as I got home, I had to do my laundry; it was 3 am. After I finished, I went to bed for a few hours then I got up a few hours later to head to work an 18 hour day. I went early to organize the desk in my brother’s office (where I do some of my work), paid some bills, went to see my brother, went back to the restaurant to check in with my brother’s second in command and got to work.

It was rather tough to work that morning because of the funeral and the lack of sleep I received the night before. I was drinking so much coffee to get me through the lunch shift. After the lunch rush, I grabbed my stuff and went back to my brother’s in law’s place (he was in a bad ski accident 6 weeks and broke his tibia and fibula in 18 pieces). We talked about the restaurant for quite a bit and finally he asked about the funeral. He held my hand as I told him and when I finished, we both were crying.

He called one of the guys from the restaurant to ask to spare two guys to come get me; one to drive his car back and the other to drive me and my car to my brother and sister in law’s apartment. When they arrived and rang the doorbell, I opened it and saw my crush (he’s one of the chef’s at the restaurant). I invited him in. As he walked in, he grabbed my hip and leaned to kiss my cheek.

The next thing we saw was a bottle flying in the air in our direction and hitting the wall behind us. My brother told my crush to keep his hands and mouth away from his kid sister. I chuckled and my crush turned red and reminded my brother that he’s married. My brother said that he didn’t care and does NOT anyone touching me as long as I’m his kid sister and that he’d castrate my crush and any of the male employees who touched me. My crush gulped and nodded. I said that my brother’s only partially kidding about the castration. My crush sarcastically replied that he was glad my brother was partially kidding. We left and headed to my brother and sister in law’s apartment. I was so tired I fell asleep in the car as my crush drove us over. He had to wake me up so I can figure out which keys were needed. As I settled down on the couch, I told him I’d call him to let him know when he could swing by to pick me up. He said that my brother texted him to tell him that he was going to stay with me as I slept a little bit. I told my crush to leave in my car and that I could take my brother’s car back. My crush showed me the text that my brother sent him. My brother pretty much told my crush that there is no way that he, my crush, will leave me alone at the apartment; it wasn’t a great area, the apartment’s on the first floor and that my brother’s worried about me. I huffed a response my crush didn’t like (something to the effects of “Eff off!”).

The rest of the week was non-stop with business and my brother’s second in command had to leave last minute to attend a funeral for his uncle was gone for a few days. My poor brother worked four 18 hour days from a wheelchair and in severe pain. My sister in law, such a precious woman, and I were his arms, legs, eyes and whatever else he needed. I had to help him out on top of hostessing, doing the books, cleaning, running errands, driving some staff home and pick others up for their shift, do some English to Spanish and Spanish to English translations for the staff.

Thankfully, my brother didn’t work Monday or Tuesday. He got his much needed sleep and didn’t have to travel before the blizzard hit us. I left early yesterday to drive my crush home (he doesn’t live to far from me) and then I drove myself home from his house. I was able to sleep in a bit today and arrived at work at 3:45 today since we opened at 4:30.

Now, I’m sitting in the office trying to catch up on cleaning, organizing and daily paperwork. In a little bit, I have to bring some of “my boys” (the male staff) home. Not all of them drive. Sometimes it’s a little hard to communicate with them because they speak Spanish (a few of them speak enough English to speak with me) and I, of course, speak English (with enough Spanish to tell them what needs to be done). If they speak slow enough I can get the gist of what they’re saying.

One of the guys that I drive home the most often, R, is a good man and one of the few men I trust 100% and with my life. I know that I’m safe with him, even though he’s the same height at me. I rarely get along with married men because of my strong personality and my so called “irresistible charm” but R is the only man (that I’m not related to) that I get along with; and one of the few that when I say that I love, I genuinely love him. He’s a good man, loves and respects his wife, his daughters, my brother, myself and the staff, is a God fearing man and wishes no harm or ill will on any person. He’s had my respect since Day One and I’ve had his.  We have such a good relationship that we joke around, calling each other “Love”, “Honey”, “Dear”, “Primero”, “Amore” and the like. Everyone’s a little unsure what to make of it because I care deeply for someone else and R is married and has kids.

My other “boys” don’t get as close to me as R does. They’re all leery of getting close to me because our boss is my older brother and despite me telling me that I’m just like them but they kinda fear me because 1. I’m the sister of our boss. 2. They respect my brother so much they leave me alone and 3. They know that if they touch me inappropriately, I will knee them in their baby makers hard enough to drop them to the floor.

I need a new job

My brother was finally able to get the soft casts off both of his legs and recently started physical therapy. He’s anxious to come back to work all day but he can’t handle more than a few hours at a time then he leaves for the day. When he worked Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, he had to take several breaks to rest and he was super cranky.

I love my brother very much and have a ton of respect for him but it’s very hard to work for him sometimes. Today, I forgot to talk to him about one thing and he goes off on me; yelling and screaming at me, calling me names. I understand that he’s in a lot of pain and is on heavy duty pain meds so he’s not completely himself. It really hurt me that he was like that towards me.

I expect him to be harder on me than everyone else but some part of me hopes that he realizes that the more he yells at me and the more he makes me cry, the more I work harder on finding another job someplace else, I think it’ll be better.

I’m exhausted after working all day 6 days a week while he’s not here. I’m up by 7:30 am, out the door by 8:45/9:15, at work by 10:15/10:30, work all day, go see my brother between lunch & dinner service, rush back, scarf whatever’s quick and easy to eat, work until 10:45/11:30 at night, drive an hour home, finish my computer work, go to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning and repeat the next day. I’m not getting the sleep I need and stressed the fuck out.

I spent a good hour and a half hiding in the office today, crying. That’s all I could do for the time.  Everyone asked if I was ok and I was horrible by saying that I was fine. They all saw my red, blotchy eyes and tear stained face and knew that I wasn’t ok. One of the “boys” sent my crush into the office to check on me. My poor crush! He had no idea what to do when he saw me the way that he did. He just stood there, handing me tissue after tissue; silently hoping that I’d stop crying like a baby. I apologized to him for making him see me like he did and explained that I’m under a tremendous amount of pressure with my brother out; I’m not sleeping nor taking care of myself like I should and that I’m really worried about my brother.

When I came in this morning, it was super embarrassing to see my crush because last night after leaving work, I had a one night stand with someone that is best friends with my brother.