I need a new job

My brother was finally able to get the soft casts off both of his legs and recently started physical therapy. He’s anxious to come back to work all day but he can’t handle more than a few hours at a time then he leaves for the day. When he worked Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, he had to take several breaks to rest and he was super cranky.

I love my brother very much and have a ton of respect for him but it’s very hard to work for him sometimes. Today, I forgot to talk to him about one thing and he goes off on me; yelling and screaming at me, calling me names. I understand that he’s in a lot of pain and is on heavy duty pain meds so he’s not completely himself. It really hurt me that he was like that towards me.

I expect him to be harder on me than everyone else but some part of me hopes that he realizes that the more he yells at me and the more he makes me cry, the more I work harder on finding another job someplace else, I think it’ll be better.

I’m exhausted after working all day 6 days a week while he’s not here. I’m up by 7:30 am, out the door by 8:45/9:15, at work by 10:15/10:30, work all day, go see my brother between lunch & dinner service, rush back, scarf whatever’s quick and easy to eat, work until 10:45/11:30 at night, drive an hour home, finish my computer work, go to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning and repeat the next day. I’m not getting the sleep I need and stressed the fuck out.

I spent a good hour and a half hiding in the office today, crying. That’s all I could do for the time.  Everyone asked if I was ok and I was horrible by saying that I was fine. They all saw my red, blotchy eyes and tear stained face and knew that I wasn’t ok. One of the “boys” sent my crush into the office to check on me. My poor crush! He had no idea what to do when he saw me the way that he did. He just stood there, handing me tissue after tissue; silently hoping that I’d stop crying like a baby. I apologized to him for making him see me like he did and explained that I’m under a tremendous amount of pressure with my brother out; I’m not sleeping nor taking care of myself like I should and that I’m really worried about my brother.

When I came in this morning, it was super embarrassing to see my crush because last night after leaving work, I had a one night stand with someone that is best friends with my brother.