My brother was finally able to get the soft casts off
both of his legs and recently started physical therapy. He’s anxious to come
back to work all day but he can’t handle more than a few hours at a time then
he leaves for the day. When he worked Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, he had
to take several breaks to rest and he was super cranky.
I love my brother very much and have a ton of respect for
him but it’s very hard to work for him sometimes. Today, I forgot to talk to
him about one thing and he goes off on me; yelling and screaming at me, calling
me names. I understand that he’s in a lot of pain and is on heavy duty pain
meds so he’s not completely himself. It really hurt me that he was like that
towards me.
I expect him to be harder on me than everyone else but
some part of me hopes that he realizes that the more he yells at me and the
more he makes me cry, the more I work harder on finding another job someplace
else, I think it’ll be better.
I’m exhausted after working all day 6 days a week while
he’s not here. I’m up by 7:30 am, out the door by 8:45/9:15, at work by
10:15/10:30, work all day, go see my brother between lunch & dinner
service, rush back, scarf whatever’s quick and easy to eat, work until
10:45/11:30 at night, drive an hour home, finish my computer work, go to bed at
2 or 3 in the morning and repeat the next day. I’m not getting the sleep I need
and stressed the fuck out.
I spent a good hour and a half hiding in the office
today, crying. That’s all I could do for the time. Everyone asked if I was ok and I was horrible
by saying that I was fine. They all saw my red, blotchy eyes and tear stained
face and knew that I wasn’t ok. One of the “boys” sent my crush into the office
to check on me. My poor crush! He had no idea what to do when he saw me the way
that he did. He just stood there, handing me tissue after tissue; silently
hoping that I’d stop crying like a baby. I apologized to him for making him see
me like he did and explained that I’m under a tremendous amount of pressure
with my brother out; I’m not sleeping nor taking care of myself like I should
and that I’m really worried about my brother.
When I came in this morning, it was super embarrassing to
see my crush because last night after leaving work, I had a one night stand
with someone that is best friends with my brother.
