“Care to explain this?,” he asked me.
“Babe. I love you with everything I’ve got but I can’t
have your kids,” I said. “I know you love me too but you have a wife and kids.
I don’t want to mess that up anymore than I already have!”
“Mami, I won’t leave my wife and you know that. I want us
to be connected forever; I want you to have my kids” he said.
“Amore, please…..I’d give anything to be with you forever
but that’s not the way I want to do,” I explain. “If you weren’t married
already, I’d marry you in a heartbeat and have your kids. But you’re married and
have kids already. I can’t do that to your wife and kids.”
“Mama, please……..” he begs.
“Papa, please. You’re making this harder for me,” I say
“What’s going on, Mama? What’s gonna be harder for you?”
he asked.
“Mi amore…….I can no longer do this with you. I love
you….in love with you. I know that you love me too but Papa, you have a wife
and two beautiful kids. I know that you won’t ever leave them and I wouldn’t
dare ask you to leave them to be with me. Papa, it’s time for us to say good
bye,” I said.
“But, Mama…….my wife knows. She isn’t happy with it and
wants to leave me,” he said. “She knows that I’m in love with the both of you.”
“She had you first. I had you last. I’m sure there were
plenty of women before me and I’m sure there’ll be plenty of women after me.
Good bye, mi amor. Siempre tendras mi corazon ,” I said as I walked out of the
door and out of his life.
When I got to my car, I broke down crying. It was the
hardest decision I had to make. Please don’t get me wrong, I’ll always be in
love with my married lover; he’ll always have a piece of my heart. At the same
time, he’s married to another woman and has two kids with her. I would feel
guilty if I was the one that caused a separation and divorce. I was pretty
positive that there were other women besides his wife and I. He never gave me a
STD but if he’s will to cheat on his wife with me, there’s a chance that he’d
cheat on me with other women IF we were together. Besides, I know what it’s
like to be cheated on and to have your heart broken; not to mention trust. Yes,
I’m as guilty as my ex who cheated on me but it’s time to step up and be the
bigger woman.
I know it’s going be tough for both my married lover and
I. He’s got to realize that I’m NOT going to be the woman that will end their
marriage. It’ll have to be someone else to do that. It’ll be tough for me
because I’m in love with him and I always will.
As I’m driving to work, my phone chirps. Without checking
my caller ID, I answer the phone.
“Hello, this is Deppgrl. May I help you?” I say answering
my phone.
“Baby…” he begs.
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