Not great news

I ended things with Vince. A woman called me - she was  using Vince’s phone - asking me to ask who I was and why I’m in Vince’s phone as “My love, my life 💞”. I told her that Vince and I are together. She said that it was impossible since she and Vince together. I told her that she’s lying and then she responded that I’m lying. I hung up on her. 

An hour later, Vince knocked on my door. I ignored him. He said that he knew I’m home because my car is here, he saw me at our local grocery store getting ice cream and cookies, head to the liquor store and then followed me home. I opened my door - with the chain still in its place so he can’t come in - and asked him why the fuck would he drag me along in a relationship two timing myself and another woman….someone he’d been seeing a week longer than he’d be seeing me. He claimed that he’d broken up with her multiple times since he and I had gotten back together but she never got it even after spelling it out to her. 

I said that I don’t want to hear it because I’ve heard it before; I’ve been disrespected before by being cheated on in the past  and I will not tolerate it as I know my worth. I took the ring he gave me off of my necklace and chucked it at him. 

He was so shocked that I chucked the ring at him, he stepped back. I slammed the door in his face and locked it. He yelled through the door saying that they were over. I told him that I know better, I don’t believe a word he says and that he’s got about 3 seconds to leave before I press the button for security to come remove him for over staying, annoying me and that his behavior at this point is borderline harassing. 

I looked at the peephole. His face turned white. He picked up the ring and left. I waited 10 minutes before I called down to the security desk to send someone up. My favorite security guy, Julian, comes up. I have the door open when the elevator doors open and invite him in. I had coffee done the way he likes it ready. I explained to him what happened and asked him to share with the rest of the security staff that Vince is no longer allowed to visit me and I will not accept him up here; if he’s here to visit someone else, I can’t stop him from entering the building. Julian looked at me with an odd expression so I explained that he’s been seeing someone - seriously - while also being in a serious relationship with me….it’s happened to me before, I won’t tolerate it and Vince is no longer welcome to visit me. 

Julian looked as pissed as I felt. He came over and gave me a hug. I said that I better let him go but he said that if he’s got a few minutes after his shift, come on up because I have some bottles of alcohol to give him for his upcoming family party. He asked how I knew and I said that because of how hard he and the rest of the building security team works year round, I make it my ‘business’ to know so I can treat them with federal holiday gifts as well as gifts for birthdays, etc. 

The rest of the day, I was in bed sleeping. I didn’t want to deal with the world. The only person who’s call I answered was my brother’s. Vince called him and told him the same nonsense he told me. My brother told me that he VERBALLY laid into Vince explaining that no one has the right to treat women - especially his baby sister - the way my ex and Vince treated me….my brother said that he knew that if Vince asked me again to marry him, I’d say yes in a heartbeat but Vince doesn’t deserve me. 

I was crying. Not because of Vince but because how protective my brother is of me. I thanked my brother for being there for me, telling Vince he doesn’t deserve me and told Vince to leave me alone. My brother said it was his pleasure and asked if I needed more ice cream and cookies. I laughed hysterically and said that I was good but if he was at my door, I’d accept. The doorbell rang and then he said that I have a special delivery. 

I get out of bed - I was still in my sweats - open the door. My brother is there with Julian. I laugh and let them in. They have so much food from my brother’s restaurant as well as a ton of ice cream and cookies. There’s SO much food that my brother called all 3 shifts of the building’s security team - both off duty and on duty - up to partake and he called in another security team from a different company to cover for the security staff at my building the next 2 days. 

My brother, the building’s security team and I stuffed our faces with food, alcohol and joked with each other. We were having such a good time that I didn’t realize that hours went by and I was feeling better. Later that night, I find out that Julian also called my brother (I couldn’t determine if it was before or after Vince called him) to suggest my brother do something to cheer me up. That’s when my brother came up with the idea of having a little fiesta. 

It was about 1 am before the security team left the apartment; they all grabbed a few bottles of alcohol that I was trying to get rid of and my brother stayed the night. I set him up in the nicer spare bedroom and texted my sister in law that my brother’s spending the night; she thanked me, let me know that my brother briefly told her what happened and to let her know that if I need anything. I thanked her and wished her a good night. 

I checked in on my brother and he was already passed out on top of the comforter. I took his shoes off, put a light blanket on him, turned off the ceiling light, went to the freezer to grab him a frozen bottle of water and left it on the coaster of night stand for him. As I went to the kitchen, I found his dead phone so I grabbed a spare charger and started charging his phone. 

Once taken care of, I went into the living room and started cleaning up before I realized I needed a large garbage bag; I was too tired to keep running between the kitchen and the living room so I grabbed several garbage bags. Between the kitchen and the living room, I filled 6 garbage bags. 

Since I had the nicest apartment in the building, I had chutes in my apartment that went straight to the garbage dumpster and recycling dumpster. I had to shove the garbage bags as hard as I could down the chute to the dumpster since I packed the bags too much. The recycling, thankfully, was significantly easier as I just kept the chute door open and dropped the bottles - and other recycling - a few at a time. I cleaned the tables and counters with cleaning products, loaded the dishwasher, started the dishwasher, hopped into the shower, got dressed and tossed my towels, my bedding and my sweats into the washer and then went to bed. It was a struggle to fall and stay asleep as I slept for most of the day, so I started reading a new book until I realized it was from Vince - thankfully it was a paperback so I tossed it in the fireplace, telling myself to have a fire the next day. I then went trough my phone to delete all of the photos I had of both Vince and I (and pictures of just him), deleted our texts and emails. 

By the time I was done, I tossed my laundry in the dryer. I looked at the clock in the kitchen as I headed to the bathroom and it was 7 am. I took a shower to wake up, got dressed and started making coffee and breakfast. I’m a whiz at making oatmeal and grits as they’re both easy to make BUT I decided to make cheesy bacon grits, waffles, pancakes and cleaned and cut strawberries - I left the bananas alone as my brother is allergic and I want him to stay alive. 

As soon as the coffee was brewing, I heard my brother wake up and head into the shower. There was a knock at the door and I opened the door; it was a courier with fresh clothes for my brother. I put them in his spare room, took his dirty clothes, the blanket and the comforter in the washer. A few minutes later, he came into the kitchen. He was surprised at the spread and thanked me. He started digging in as I was washing the pots and pans.  By the time they were done, I took my stuff out the dryer, put his stuff in, started it and then I dug in.  

We ate in silence as I know he had a bit of a headache 🤕 I made sure that he had plenty of water and some aspirin to help. Once he announced he was stuffed, he moved to the couch. I packed up the rest of the food - split it into half so he could bring some home to my sister in law and their child. I placed his food in a bag at the coffee table. I sat down next to him not knowing I woke him up. He opened one eye part way, asked if I could put his food in the fridge for a bit and then followed up with asking if I was ok. I said that I’m better now after he spent time with me and cheered up the building’s security teams; let’s face it, they bust their butts day in and day out without a complaint - even on holidays. My brother hugged me stating that he’s happy that I’m doing better and that my “guys” have been treated well. 

I got up and put his bag of food in the fridge, took his stuff out of the dryer, folded it and put his stuff in another bag. I let him rest while I went to my room to check my email. Ugh. I get a long ass email from Vince - he tried to explain what’s truly going on. I text my best friend slash attorney and briefly explained what happened. She called me moments later to get the full story. I explained what I dealt with when Vince arrived and handed my phone off to my brother so he could share what happened on his end with Vince. While they were talking, Julian and a few guys emailed me expressing their feelings with what happened, I responded and then forwarded the emails to my friend. Seconds later, my brother handed my phone back to me. 

My friend was waiting to talk to me about the email from Vince and the security team. She said that she’d share this with her boss - who is also her mentor - and that she’d get back to me by the end of the day. I thanked her profusely and let her go. I headed back to my brother who was gathering his stuff and raided my fridge snagging a few bottles of water. I tell him that I have some tequila that he and his wife can have for themselves and vodka that he can use for the restaurant (a few recipes require vodka). As he’s grabbing the bottles, I go grab a box that he can put all of his things. He hugs me and kisses me on the top of my head. He knows I hate it but he knows I let him get away with it. 

About an hour later, his child - with his help - calls me to let me know that my brother arrived home safely. I thanked the child for letting me know and asked how they’re doing; as the child is 3 yrs old, they don’t make a lot of sense but I got the gist of what was going on! LOL. My brother got on the phone to tell me that his child said that they had a sleepover in the living room with my sister in law - the child in a “pack and play” and my sister in law slept on the couch. I told my brother that I wish they had fun and he said that his child that had kept my sister in law up for a good portion of the night. I told him that his child reminds me of him back in the day. He laughed hysterically and said wait until I have kids. I told him that I’m not having kids so I won’t have that issue and wished him luck. He laughed and we hung up. 

As soon as we hang up, my door is getting unlocked and I run to the door to see who it is. Thankfully it’s my best friend and her boss - and I was also thankful that I cleaned up hours ago. As they’re coming in, Julian is coming out of the elevator to come to my apartment. I keep the door open and he hands me the key that Vince had been using. I thank him and he heads back down as his husband is waiting for his 2 hour shift to be over (the building manager’s request so he can help the security team from the other company). 

My friend has coffee going, I have food coming - I didn’t have enough leftover from what my brother brought last night - and we got to business. Both my friend and her boss/mentor said that since I was on the lease for the apartment, there’s nothing else I can do (they know that I discussed with the building manager and the lead of each security shift that Vince is no longer welcome to visit me), I cut off all communication with Vince, warned him not to contact me….there’s really nothing I can do right now. Other than the email earlier in the day, he hasn’t harassed me or stalked me so I can’t file a police report BUT they do suggest that the 3 of us go to the local police department and explain the situation. I agree with them so we all pack up in my car and drive the 5 minutes over to the police department. 

We get out and as we get to the door, we put in our masks then we enter. The police know who I am as they’ve ordered from my brother’s restaurant all the time, I help clean the building a few times a month (they know that I’m a clean freak and that I do this for free to help keep them safe); this time around, they’re surprised that I have 2 lawyers with me. We talk to the sergeant on duty and my friend and her boss explain everything. I chip in from time to time. The sergeant agrees that there’s nothing that can be done but he’s taken notes so that way he can update all leads of each shift; heaven forbid anything to happen in the future he said. 

The sergeant was grateful that I was clear minded when everything happened; I talked who I needed to with the apartment building, a family member knows and my lawyers know. I clarified that it was my friend who also doubles as a lawyer and the person with her is her boss and mentor. The sergeant nodded and said that he was grateful that I have good people looking out for me in personal and legal ways. We thank him for his time after he sent a formal copy of his notes to my friend and her boss  

We load back up to my car, head back to my place and they head on out. I clean my apartment again - not like it was messy but I like it organized. I checked my emails and my social media - thankfully nothing from Vince. I’m just happy I found out that he was cheating on me now rather than down the road. Since it was only 5 pm, I texted my therapist to see if I can have a phone session tomorrow to decompress; she said that she’s available now. I say great and give her a call.

I tell her 95% of everything - left out my friend, her boss and the police - as I needed to discuss the Vince situation. She was happy that I stood my ground and wouldn’t let my boundaries get broken. She did ask what Vince’s email said so I pulled it up, quickly summarized it and she said that it is a possibility that he is, in fact, telling me the truth. I said that I doubted it because he was defensive when I was calling him out and I know when he’s lying because he’s a bad liar. She asked me what his last name is so I told her. She said that we need to stop the conversation and send me to someone else in her office as she’s actually related to him…..she said that Vince is a common name in our area (it’s pretty common actually; there were at least 10 students in each grade at my high school named Vincent) and didn’t think it was her relative. I mutter something under my breath and agreed with her. She told me to come to the office and I do.  

I grabbed my stuff - mask included - walk the 100 yards over to the building, enter the building and use the elevator to get to the 3rd floor. She’s got the owner/director of the therapy office with her; thankfully he doesn’t know Vincent and is aware that she is; she’s given him her notes and got him up to date what was said over the phone before I walked over. 

He invites me into his office, we introduce ourselves and we start where my therapist and I ended. He is upset that Vince is now the second guy to cheat on me and that he’s proud of me for having good people around me as well as getting my friend involved and let the police know - although he felt that Vince didn’t seem the type to harass or stalk me….he said that it’s better off to be safe than sorry and I agreed. As the session was ending, he did offer suggestions of how to handle any anxiety that might pop up. I appreciate his help and thanked him. We bumped fists, I paid and left.

I jogged home, relaxed by watching one of my movies and eating ice cream and cookies. I start to nod off 45 minutes into the movie when my phone rings; I look at it to see who it is. It’s my best friend so I pick up. She asked me if I’m watching one of my favorite movies and eating ice cream with cookies. I tell her she knows me well and we laugh. We chat and she asked me how my session went; I told her it that it went topsy turvey as my therapist is related to Vince so I ended up with her boss as my therapist for this situation. She’s happy I went.  I thanked her for checking in on me. We got off the phone and it rings again and it’s my brother asking if I’m still shoveling ice cream and cookies; I said that I am. He laughed and asked if I’m doing ok and I said that I am. He said that he’s happy to hear and then we get off the phone. 

I finish the bowl, place it in the sink and get ready for bed, making sure that not only I brush my teeth but use mouthwash as well….after the amount of sugar I had, might as well. I bring a 48 ounce travel mug filled with ice water into my room with me, leaving it on my night stand as I grab a book - it’s a murder mystery mixed with smut; it’s quite the book but it’s entertaining. As much as I’d love to finish the last 20 chapters tonight but after dealing with the blow of Vince cheating and  it risking my general health of 2 nights of limited sleep, I read 3 chapters and went straight to sleep.

It was a dreamless night and only woke up once: woke up thirsty and just leaned over to my night stand to drink my water and then fell back asleep. I woke up naturally at 8 am. I finished my water - which thankfully is still ice cold - took my birth control, showered and got my day started with oatmeal with a little maple syrup and dark brown sugar and a large glass of milk. After cleaning up and starting the dishwasher, I put in my sneakers and took a walk in the neighborhood. It was a cool morning and took my time as I was not in a rush. 

I don’t know how long my walk was but when I got back, my brother, my best friend and the police were at my building looking for me. Guess I forgot my phone. Oops! Everyone was happy that I was ok. I let everyone in and up to my apartment; once inside, I asked everyone what was up. They all were talking over each other but my brother and friend called me repeatedly and didn’t hear from me so they came over - with the police - to do a wellness check. Apparently, my walk was 3 1/2 hours long. I went to my room to get my phone and it was dead. I come back out and said that they wouldn’t have been able to reach me as my phone was dead anyways. I plugged my phone in and then offered everyone a drink. They all decline but they’re all happy to see that I’m ok. I see everyone out and then check my phone; 3 missed calls from my friend and 4 from my brother…I listen to the voicemails, check out the texts and then my emails. I texted both my friend and my brother apologizing for not having my phone charged and not with me and also for their concern. They both responded with the heart emoji. I went into my bedroom with my large travel mug full of water and finish my book. 

The story line was cheesy as fuck but it was well written. After finishing the book, I decided to take a nap. I woke up an hour later feeling refreshed. I ordered matzo ball sleep from the 24 hour diner 1/4 mile from my apartment - their matzo ball soup was the absolute BEST that I've ever had. Twenty minutes later, the manager rang the doorbell. I open the door to see him with 3 bags of the soup! I let the manager in and he placed the bags on the kitchen counter. I offer him a bottle of water and he accepted; we bullshitted for a bit. He said that he needed to head back - I took Vince's bicycle and gave it to the manager to take and ride back to the diner. He was grateful as it was 85* F and it would be a quicker travel time. As I saw him off, I told him to keep the bike and wished him safe travels back.