I know what all of you are thinking….

Like why did I not take my birth control? And why did I have unprotected sex with a man that hit me and could hit me again? Love makes people do crazy things. Abusers claim that they’re going to change but they all don’t. Vince - I know for a fact - is wanting to change….not just for me but for him as well. 

To answer the first question about not taking my birth control; it’s not like I purposely skipped it to get pregnant. I’d been wrapped up with Vince, this job and other very personal things that I’m unwilling to share that I’d just simply forgotten to take it  

To answer the second question about having sex with a man that hit me and can possibly hit me again….I honestly believe that it was a one time thing. He knew what he did was wrong and is actively working on himself so he doesn’t repeat hitting/abusing me again or hitting someone else.

By mid morning on Saturday - after I’d gotten back to my place - I took a birth control pill (yes, I know…too late) and a morning after pill. I’d looked at a calendar hanging up in the kitchen and figured that it was only 2 days in a row that I’d missed a pill but the other days in this month I did, in fact, take it. The morning after pill would do it’s job and I needed to get back on track with my birth control. 

Around 4 pm on Saturday, Vince stopped by to talk about the night before. He apologized for not giving me a better warning about hiring the band for a little bit and also stated that he felt that I need to take a morning after pill because we aren’t where we should be if we were to have a child. 

I told him that I accepted his apology and that I was hours ahead of him with taking the morning after pill. He said that if I do end up pregnant, he will support me emotionally and monetarily no matter what I decide. He knew - deep down - that if I did end up pregnant, I’d have an abortion…I wouldn’t be able to carry the fetus to term and NOT have an attachment to it. 

He leant down to kiss me good bye. I told him that I wanted him to stay for dinner and for the night but it was his choice. He accepted and thanked me then went out to his car to get his bag. 

I had homemade sauce going since I’d gotten home so I figured that I’d get my biggest baking pan and make lasagna; it was the plan from the beginning. While I was preparing the pan, the ricotta cheese, finely grated parmesano cheese, parsley, eggs and everything Vince had opened a bottle of wine that he’d brought, bringing me a glass. I finished the lasagna making process and tossed it in the oven. 

Finally I’d taken a sip of the wine that Vince brought; I’d  heard and read great reviews of the brand. The wine was much better than I expected. We grabbed our glasses and the bottle and headed to the backyard. He asked about the dogs so I told him that they were at my parents for a few more hours as I did a deep cleaning of my place but I said that I’d make sure that at least one of them would be around the next time he was around. He said that he’d love that but I better be careful because I may be missing a dog when he leaves. I laughed so hard. I went up on my toes to kiss him. 

Vince kissed me back with such passion that I’ve never experienced either with him or with anyone else. We put our wine glasses on the table so we wouldn’t drop the them and waste such good wine. I reached up to rest my hand on his neck and to guide him deeper into the kiss. He lifts my skirt to pull my panties down but soon realizes that I’m not wearing any: I pull away and lean over the bannister/guard rail of the deck. Vince unzips pants and slides his penis into my apex and I groan.

Vince slides his penis in and and out of me gently as he reaches around to grab my breasts from under my shirt, rubbing my nipples. 

“Yes,” I moan. “Don’t stop, baby.”

“Wasn’t planning on stopping, beautiful,” he groaned. 

He slowly picks up the pace, thrusting in and out of me a little faster. With each thrust, we were closer to climaxing together. Moment later, he finished seconds before I did. 

“Baby,” Vince said, panting. “I hate to break this up but the timer for the lasagna is going off. As much as we both want to take this to your bedroom but there’s no way way I’m going to let you burn your famous lasagna!” 

I nodded my head in agreement, fixed my skirt as he put his pants back on, we grabbed our wine glasses, the wine, I took his hand and we went inside. 

As Vince topped off our wine as I pulled the lasagna out of the oven, turned the oven off and set the timer for 15 minutes to allow the lasagna to set. From there, I set the table as Vince made a small salad. Before the timer for the lasagna went off, I checked to see if it had set and thankfully it did. 

I cut a decent sized slice for Vince, adding a few slices of Italian bread to his plate and brought the plate over to him at the table then I served myself. We talked about how therapy went for us together and discussed what our future could be like if we kept moving forward in this upward direction. As we cleaned up, we continued our conversation from dinner. We talked about everything and anything that we could think of finishing 3 bottles of wine.

As we were winding down, it was 1:30 am - we were tired and buzzed. Vince contemplated leaving but I told him that I had already taken his keys hiding them as he wasn’t fit to drive. He said that it was a 12 minute drive on non highway roads and I responded that it’s late, we didn’t sleep much the night before and that he drank too much. He knew that I was right and agreed to spend the night. 

He went up to my room so he could go to bed as I finished cleaning up. Before heading upstairs, I made sure that all the doors and windows are locked, set the security alarm, grabbed a few bottles of water from the fridge, turned off the lights and went upstairs. I put the bottles in my room, strip and my put my clothes in my laundry basket, take a quick shower and join Vince in bed. 

I try not to move much as Vince was already asleep and I didn’t want to wake him up. Not long after going to bed, I fell asleep. Sometime in the night, Vince rolls over pulling me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me, waking me up. I could smell his cologne that still lingered. I smiled and fell back asleep, feeling safe in the arms of the man I love. 

We slept in until 9:30. I get up to shower, brush my teeth and get dressed, leaving Vince to take his time. By the time he gets downstairs in a spare set of clothes that he’d left behind, the coffee is ready and the grits are almost done - I make grits the right way…in a pot. I take them off the heat as Vince kissed me good morning, I kiss him back but I pull back a few minutes later. I offer him a mug of cup of coffee before I serve him a bowl of garlic and butter grits. I serve myself a small amount and then pack up the rest for another breakfast or even a dinner. 

After we talk a bit, he gets up and states that he needs to head out to his sister in law’s for a bit. I go up on my toes and kiss him good bye. I don’t say anything but I know that he’s got something on his mind. After he leaves, I clean up and take my birth control and a morning after pill. I take the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday to get ready for work. 

Monday I returned to work bright and early. I leave on time for once so I can make it to couples therapy. It was not as tough as the previous week’s but it was still hard; the same was for anger management. We went several times to both therapies and we split the week alternating night at each other’s places. 

Thursday I was fired - long story - but I am 100% ok with it. It had nothing to do with bad behavior nor write ups nor anything else on my end. It was their lack of faith in me and training me for the work; they failed to support me when I needed it.

After leaving, I dropped my stuff at my house, grabbed the bag I had already packed for the weekend at Vince’s. He knew what happened and didn’t say anything when I entered his condo. He just hugged me for a long time, kissing me on the top of my head. When we finally let go, Vince said that he had ordered food and that it should be arriving soon. 

“Want a glass of wine, baby?” Vince asked me as he brushed hair away from my face. “I have a few different brands that you like.”

“Sure,” I said, leaning into his hand. “Your choice, baby. I’m going upstairs to shower.”

Vince nodded his head, kissing my cheek. I grab my bag and head upstairs. I take a quick shower, take out my contacts, put on an oversized shirt, put on my glasses and headed downstairs.

An exciting moment turned into such a sweet date

I was supposed to pack up my stuff this past Thursday night as that was my last day of the week that I was going to spend at Vince’s, but I didn’t. 

I woke up an hour earlier than I was supposed to for work Friday morning so I ended up picking up all my clothes that I left all over and put them in a plastic bag; I put Vince’s in his laundry basket and started his laundry. I showered, brushed my teeth and was contemplating what I was going to eat for breakfast and pack for lunch. As I was making my coffee, I decided to have my leftovers from the previous night as my lunch and decided to have a banana for breakfast. 

Vince came down moments later in just sweatpants and was towel drying his hair. Fuck. He looked so damn handsome like this. We met eyes and we ran back to the bedroom and had sex twice more before I needed to finish getting ready for work. Before I left, he asked me if I wanted to go out on an actual date with him that night (Friday) with him. I said yes! It’s been too long since I’ve been out on an actual date. 

While at work, I kept asking Vince where he was taking me that night but he kept telling me that it was a surprise. I couldn’t keep my excitement down so the team that I’ve been working with were asking me why I was so excited. So I told them; they were happy for me. They were asking me how we met, how long we’ve known each other; they told me to bring extra pepper spray, take a picture of his license plate and send it to someone. I said I would but I knew that I wouldn’t - except for the extra pepper spray. 

As soon as work was over, I signed out of everything, locked the computer and made a mad dash to the time clock to clock out. I flew out of the building, drove home to wash my face, redid my makeup and put on lipstick. I ran back out and drove the 11 minutes to Vince’s; I let myself in and called his name. 

He came downstairs and looked amazing; dress slacks, casual button down shirt, casual jacket and dressy shoes. I felt so under dressed. I went up to him and started kissing him. I was in the process of taking his jacket off when he stopped me. He told me to wait for the end of the date and he went to the bathroom to get my lipstick off of his stunning lips. Using the compact in my purse, I fixed my lipstick. 

I grabbed two water bottles from the fridge and joined this very sexy man in the foyer. We left, locking up behind us, got into the convertible…heading the opposite way I thought we were going. I placed my hand on his thigh dangerously close to his penis; he swerved, looked at me and told me to give him a heads up next time.

“Heads up,” I said, reaching over a little bit more, resting my hand on his now hardening penis. He pulled over to a secluded area, told me to get out of the car. I giggled and said ok. He grabbed me by the hand to bring me to the hood of the car. He told me to drop my jeans and panties. I said that I can drop my jeans but not my panties as I wasn’t wearing any. I heard him unbuckle his belt so I took off my pants, placed my hands on the hood and leaned forward. Seconds later, Vince slid his penis into my wet apex and was pounding me. As I was moaning, he told me to be quiet. I giggled and moaned a little louder. He continued to pound his penis in me and we climaxed together moments later. We quickly got ourselves redressed and hopped into the car.

About 15 minutes later, we arrived to the first part of the date. Axe throwing. I asked him if he thoroughly thought this through. He laughed and said yes he did. I giggled. We walked in and there was a big crowd of people. We checked in, got to our lane, listened to the instructions and then we started throwing axes. We had so much fun. After our hour long reservation time was up, we went out to take a stroll as then night was still warm. 

We walk past this group of guys…Vince’s instincts kicked in, dropped my hand to wrap his arm over one of my shoulders, down my back and put his hand in my back jeans pocket pulling me closer to him. I was too distracted with how handsome Vince was to realize that he was laying his claim on me in front of the guys. When we turned the corner, one of the guys from the group was right behind us. 

He straight up asked why Vince was protecting me. Vince turned his head to the guy telling him that he’s been a student of life and a teacher for years and knew that he and his friends all wanted me. I started to shake. Vince turned his attention back to me asking if I was ok; I nodded my head yes. 

We continued our walk until we found a restaurant we both agreed on. Before going in, I asked Vince why he just couldn’t hold my hand earlier and he said that he wanted to get the message across that I was with him. I clarified that I wasn’t really with him; we’re working on being a couple again. He looked a bit saddened at that. I grabbed his hand and headed inside the restaurant.

The host sat us outside in the back corner near their water fountain statue. I moved my chair to be closer to Vince and to also look at the water fountain. I knew that I’d upset him and he still looked like he was. I whispered his name. He looked at me, not smiling. I leaned in closer to kiss him, sliding him some tongue. He opened his mouth and kissed me as passionately as I kissed him. We both had to pull away as we knew that if we kissed longer, I’d end up on the table with his penis in me.

A few minutes later, our server came over with water and a plate of marinated olives. We placed our food and drink orders. After the server left, Vince and I were talking about where he and I go from after this date. He was quite attentive to me; gave me his jacket as I was cold, put his arm around my shoulders to bring me closer to him.

Our server brought our drinks out and they were quite different than what we ordered. Before either of us could say something, the server said that he got his manager’s ok to upgrade our drinks for free because we look so in love and happy together. We thanked our server and enjoyed our cosmos….in really big glasses. Our entrées came out as well as fresh cosmos…I was a little worried that neither of us would be ok to drive back to his place. Vince told me not to worry. 

We enjoyed our food and drinks. When the server cleared our plates and asked if we wanted dessert, we said that we’re too stuffed at the moment but we’d like to have our dessert to go so we placed the order. The bill, the desserts and a small refill of the cosmos came out. Again, Vince told me to relax. I nodded and dropped it. He paid the bill as we were finishing the drinks. After getting his card back, we grabbed the desserts, thanked the server and left. It was clear then that my cosmos had liquor in them whereas Vince’s did not as I was unsteady on my feet.

We took our time walking to his car. He helped me get in. When he got in and started driving back to his place, he asked if I wanted to spend the night and I said that I did. He asked me to text a mutual friend with just the word ‘yes’. I didn’t ask why but I sent the text. 

I fell asleep in the car on the way back to Vince’s. He gently called my name as he squeezed my knee. I woke up, turned to him and smiled. He told me that we’re almost back to his place, leaving his hand on my leg. I placed my hand on his, interlocking our fingers. We got to his place a few minutes later. 

When he helped me out of the car, he said that he had one last surprise. I looked at him….he told me that he knows that I hate surprises but he wanted to warn me of the surprise instead saying “Surprise!”.  I groaned. 

Inside the living room were the members of one of my favorite country bands….the band from the cd that Vince and I were listening to the other night. I was definitely surprised and shocked. I started to cry. The band was freaking out a little bit and so was Vince. I pulled him to the corner of the room. 

“Vince,” I said. “There’s absolutely NO warning for a surprise like this. You could’ve told me in the car that it was a big surprise! I love you and I appreciate the gesture but this is big!” 

He looked like he was a bit pissed off at me even though he is well aware that I hate ALL surprises but hated the bigger ones more. He apologized to me. I kissed him on the cheek and headed back to the band. I apologized to them for my reaction. I was literally surprised with such an amazing gift that I had no words for so I cried. They were shocked that I hate surprises. I changed the subject quickly….I offered them anything to drink but they declined. I quickly ran to the bathroom to wash my face and then went into the kitchen to grab water. 

Since I was a tad bit upset with Vince, I sat about a foot from him. The band saw that and they all looked at each other. I told them that whenever they’re ready, Vince and I were ready. They nodded and started playing. I recognized the intro immediately. I closed my eyes, listening…I didn’t realize that I was singing aloud for a bit until the song was almost over. Immediately I shut my mouth and opened my eyes to see if anyone was looking at me. No one was but I’m sure that someone or everyone heard me. Oh well. 

The band played all of my favorites songs of theirs. By the time they were singing the last song last night, Vince kissed the top of my head and asked me to marry him. I froze where I was, tuning everything out. The band finished their last song - which I found out later that night was the song that Vince specifically requested to be played at the end - and I forced myself to smile and thank them for interrupting their busy schedule to come sing at a super private event/party. They thanked us for being gracious hosts. 

When they left, I went to Vince’s liquor cabinet and poured my self two fingers of tequila. I slowly slipped it, knowing that Vince would want to talk to me about not answering his question. I’m finished with what I poured, placed the glass in the dishwasher and then looked for him. I found him upstairs in his room holding a ring box. The floor by the door frame creaked when I stood in the door frame. 

“Hey. Can I come in?” I asked. Vince nodded his head yes. “Wanna talk with me?”

“I figured that with the progress we’ve made, the progress we’re going to make and how tonight was going, I thought that you’d say yes,” Vince said. I sat next to him, resting my hand on his thigh. “Do you love me, babe?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I love you, hot stuff!” I said. “I froze because I didn’t know how to answer when you asked. I still don’t have an answer for you other than let’s see how therapy goes. You hoped that I would. Baby? Why is it so important to you that we marry? Isn’t our love more important than a piece of paper?”

“Our love is amazing and of course, we don’t need a piece of paper stating that we love each other. I learned that the hard way,” Vince said. “I was hoping you’d say yes then tell me that you’d rather have a long engagement or something.” 

“At the end of the day, my love,” I responded, taking his face in my hands, kissing him on the mouth. “We love each other and we’re working as a team. That’s what matters.”

He nodded in agreement and kissed me back. I thanked him for the amazing date and the band; I was totally blown away by him and his generosity. There was energy left in us so we decided to watch a movie. He was setting up the tv and the DVD player so I went to change in one of his old shirts - and no panties, of course - came back downstairs, wanting to make a ton of buttered popcorn, raided the fridge for orange juice. The question I had for both myself and Vince was vodka or sparkling wine in the orange juice. 

“Vince? If you had a choice, sparkling wine or vodka?” I asked. “Which one would your prefer to drink?”

“Beautiful…” Vince said as he walked from the living room,  leaning down to kiss me, sliding his hands up to my breasts. “Why do you ask? Trying to get me drunk?”

“No need to,” I replied. “You’re not that much of a drinker. If you HAD to pick one of them, which would you pick, love?”

“You,” he said. “I’d pick you. But to drink? Vodka.”

“Well, of course you’d pick me! Thanks for answering about the drink,” I said. “Can you please toss a few blankets on the couch when you head back?”

Vince said he would and dipped down to kiss me, slipping his tongue in my mouth. I almost dropped the bowl in my hand so I ungracefully tossed it on the counter. I pulled closer to Vince to deepen the kiss, resting my hands on his chest. He moved us closer to the counter, hefting my pasty white ass up on the counter…I spread my legs and he thrusted his penis inside of me; we moaned together. I nibbled his neck; he lost control and thrusted in and out of me. I loved this side of him. I lifted his shirt, taking it off of him so I could flick his man nipples. It drove him nuts and made him thrust even harder; he grabbed two fistfuls of my hair, gently pulling down so he could expose my neck…he leaned down to kiss my neck. I moaned. This man knew my weakness. Seconds later, we climaxed together. 

We stayed like this for a few minutes. He pulled out and pulled away, helping me down and he cleaned where we were. I turned to use the microwave to make the popcorn, poured orange juice in super large glasses, added a few ice cubes, a straw in each glass and added a number of shots of vodka to the juice, making sure I used the straws to stir the juice and vodka together.

I brought the glasses out, went back in to pour the one bag of popcorn in the bowl and put two more bags of popcorn in the microwave. Minutes later, the other bags were ready so I added them to the bowl. I grabbed some napkins and a little container of hand sanitizer to use after eating popcorn. I plopped on the couch, spilling some popcorn and asked Vince what we were going to watch. He named a ridiculous rom-com that we both enjoy. 

Vince took a sip of his drink and nearly choked. I accidentally gave him the strong one that I made for myself. I then gave him the right glass, chuckling that he didn’t want the stronger drink. We started the movie - the beginning was fine but started getting super cheesy…He started to throw the remaining popcorn at me so I started to throw some at him. During this popcorn fight, a popcorn landed in my drink and I pretended to be mad at him for polluting my orange flavored vodka. He laughed. I looked at the rug. 

We look at each other and then we race to see who gets to the vacuum first. Thanks to the drinking and my socks, I slipped on the kitchen floor and landed on the rug in the hallway, laughing.  Vince checked on me before vacuuming and then went on his way to clean. It took less than 5 minutes as it wasn’t that big a mess to clean up. I was not interested in moving so I stayed put. Coming back, Vince was laughing because I didn’t move. He helped me up from the floor.

Once I was standing, I looked up at Vince; his eyes were full of lust and his body was trembling. He ASKED if he could kiss me so I said yes. He took my face in one his hands, he started kissing my neck and headed towards my mouth, sliding his tongue in. I open my mouth to welcome him in and kiss him back. With one hand, he’s gripping my hair and with the other, he’s squeezing one of my sensitive breasts so tightly. 

I start taking his clothes off; in no time, he was naked. I reach down to stroke him…he’s already hard as a rock. He moaned when I firmly grasped him with both of my hands. 

 

“Baby girl,” he moaned. “I want and need to be in you desperately. I gotta take a cold shower or something because I don’t want take you like this - like all we want is our needs fulfilled immediately. Tonight, we’ll take our time, ok?”

I nodded. He went up to take a shower while I cleaned up the rest of the mess we made. I refreshed our drinks, saved the popcorn, put dirty dishes in the dishwasher and made the dishwasher run. I grabbed the blankets that we didn’t use back in the linen closet. I raided my purse to grab a small perfume vial to refresh my perfume and then stood under a fan to help dissipate the strength a little bit. Counterintuitive? Probably but I didn’t want my perfume to be overwhelming. 

I heard Vince thud down the few stairs he has and walked into the kitchen. I walked over to him to hug him and he kissed the top of my head. I looked up at Vince and smiled. He asked if I wanted to go to bed with him, I nodded my head yes. He took me by my hand and lead me to his room…we’re taking our clothes off, leaving our clothes fall where they land.

Vince took what seemed forever to kiss and caress my body - I was wet the second he started sucking my nipples; I moaned his name as I held his head at my breasts. I don’t want him to stop but yet at the same time, I wanted his penis deep inside of my aching apex. He must have read my mind as he slid onto the bed between my legs, sitting on his heels and stroking his hard penis.

“My love,” Vince huskily whispered in surprise. “You’re so fertile right now, darling. You’re not taking you’re birth control right now??”

“Yes, I’m fertile right now baby and not on the pill,” I replied, spreading my legs further apart. “I’m sure about this as I’m sure about you. I want you to be able to be a dad.”

Within seconds, Vince enters my apex with his pulsating penis…he felt so good. After 3 slow thrusts in me, he picks up the pace a little bit. He leans down to suck and nibble one of my breasts and using his hand to squeeze my other breast. I’m so close to finishing but I tell myself to hold off as much as I can. 

“You feel so good,” he moaned as he thrusted in me, lifting my right leg onto his shoulder. “Knowing that you’re unprotected is so incredibly sexy and beautiful!”

“Take me, baby,” I moaned moving my leg to the opposite shoulder and put my left leg on his shoulder. “Enjoy yourself, love. Fill me.”

Vince growled my name started pumping his penis in and out of me like there was no tomorrow. He tilted my hips up so he could go deeper and thrusted a few more times before exploding, screaming my name; we stayed like this for several minutes so all of his essence could enter me. 

Vince groaned when he pulled his still hard penis out of me. I asked what was wrong - he said that he doesn’t ever want to leave my apex. I reached down to take his penis in my hands and started stroking him. He rolled onto his back so I could take his penis in my mouth. I licked his penis from its base to its tip and did my best to take all of him in my mouth. It didn’t take him long to get hard again. 

I took him out of my mouth, straddled his hips, centering the now wet tip of his penis to my apex and slid ALL the way down his penis. We moaned together. 

“That’s it, baby,” Vince moaned. “You feel so amazing. I’m so close!”

He flips us over so I’m on my back, enters my apex and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Knowing that my apex is unprotected, Vince rode me with wild abandon and with such force that it turned me on. I begged him not to stop as I lifted my hips. Seconds later, we finished together, with Vince filling me up with his essence. 

“Baby,” Vince whispered. “My god, you’re amazing. I want to fill your cervix up all night, my love.”

“Yes, my love,” I moaned as Vince slid himself back into my apex. “Fill me all night, my love.”

We were awake all night, making love like it was the last night we had together. By the time we finally fell asleep, my apex was sore and partially swollen. 

What a day!

Thursday I get to work with time to spare so I made myself more coffee, filled my travel mug a few times with water (didn’t drink any water at Vince’s before I left), texted a few people, clocked in and started doing my thing. 

By 9ish, everyone feels something weird in the air….like something strange is going to happen soon. Let me clarify, we  knew that whatever was going to happen was NOT going to harm us but we knew it was too early for this shit to happen. 

The town that I work in had a water main bust and we were a boil water advisory, we lost power for a few minutes and we were fine for awhile until we lost power again for close to an hour - which took our IT team, our facilities manager and a sister location’s IT team to fix - we were fine for most of the day until we lost the phones and computers again. Thankfully it was for a brief time. It’s was difficult to get things done but we all did our best. 

I was able to leave on time - thankfully. Vince had two therapy appointments yesterday; the therapists worked at the same office/company but one specializes in anger management and the the other in couples therapy. It didn’t take me too long to get there as the office is located not far from where I work and since I was early, I got out of my car and sat out in the sun as I waited for Vince. Since he’d retired, he’s been arriving closer to the actual appointment time than arriving early. 

It wasn’t warm enough for him to want to drive his motorcycle so he took the convertible - with the top down. I don’t know why he just didn’t take his motorcycle. Whatever. He came dressed rather similarly to my style when not working - jeans, tshirt, sweatshirt and sun glasses. He looked handsome but I much prefer when he is dressed up. So damn handsome. 

When he finally saw me as he was walking to the building, he smiled and took off his sun glasses to look at me better. That smile. It kills me every time. I smiled back and we each walked the few yards between us.

“Hey, beautiful,” Vince said before leaning down to kiss me. “Are you ready?”

“Hey, baby,” I replied. “I am. The big question is if you are?”

He nodded his his head yes, took my hand and led me towards the entrance. Before we entered, I told him that these back to back sessions - with each other - might be a bit hard but it’ll be worth it. Vince brushed some hair off of my face and told me that I’m worth it….he said that doing this process shows me how much I mean to him and he promises to keep it up for as long as I feel it’s necessary. I nodded and then we entered the building to start this journey. 

The first appointment was with the therapist who works with couples. Vince and I both shared our history to the best of our ability. At that point, the therapist asked Vince to leave so that the therapist and I could chat. Twenty or so minutes later, Vince and I switched so he and the therapist could talk. 

Eventually, I was called back in. The three of us chatted about  the experiences that he and I shared. There was some anger on both of our parts and a ton of crying on my end. Both the therapist and I could tell that Vince was upset with himself for hurting me. The appointment ended a few minutes later and we went to another therapist in the next room over (the therapists work at the same company).

Anger management therapy was tough. Vince was never abused by anyone nor witnessed it in his family. The therapist was digging into Vince’s history with his past girlfriends and almost ex-wife; the only thing that Vince could offer is that in one or two previous relationships, there were a few verbal disagreements/fights but it wasn’t anything more. He said he thought if the possible reasons why he hit me but it hasn’t come to him yet. I know that he’s never done anything like this before and I know that he doesn’t want to do it again. 

We left after the second session, quietly walking out together, holding hands. Vince had walked me to my car and when I turned to face him, he noticed that I was crying so he used his hands to gently dry my tears, asking me if I was going to spend the night. I nodded my head yes. Vince leaned down to kiss me…I was too upset and feeling defeated that I couldn’t kiss him back. He knew that it didn’t mean that I loved him any less. 

I got in my car then headed to Vince’s - I needed to get out of these clothes and take a shower. It didn’t take long to get to his place as rush hour traffic was gone. I arrived a few minutes prior to Vince and had his spare key, I sat in my car and listened to the country music station; I started to cry because I knew that I love him but I have to accept that he was seen as an abuser to those who know.

Vince gently knocked on the window. I nodded at him, gathered my stuff, got out, found my keys and locked my car. He waited for me so he could take my stuff from me and to hold my hand. Told him that I was more than ok and headed towards his place; let myself in and immediately went to the bathroom to take a shower. I was more than ready to wash the day off. 

I took a 25 minute shower and forced myself to get out. I dried off, hung up the towel and gathered my clothes and went to his room to get dressed. Vince left a set of his sweats for me to wear. I ended up climbing into bed was asleep for almost an hour; truly needed as I haven’t sleeping much at night plus today’s back to back sessions. I got up and put on the clothes that he left out for me, purposely no wearing an panties because I’d be going to bed not long after eating dinner

When I got downstairs and into the kitchen, Vince was setting the table with the fancy dishes and silverware. As I was walking to him, the floor squeaked, he turned around and smiled when he saw me. He put down the bottle of wine that he took out of the freezer and met me half way. There was lust in his eyes. I asked if we had time and he said yes. Personally? I was far from wanting sex at the moment but I knew he wanted to so I followed him. In no time, I’ve stripped, got on the bed adjusting myself and he followed seconds later kneeling between my legs. He looked at me to see if I was ready. 

“Babe?” he asked. “Everything ok? Not interested at the moment?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. Not really up to it but you are. Let’s get going before dinner gets here.”

He nodded, knowing that I consented despite not really interested in sex at the moment. He slid in, moaning my name. He pulled out and slid in again but a little harder this time, moaning even louder. Vince’s thrusts were slow but deep - I have to admit that he felt amazing in me. I wrapped my legs around his waist to bring him closer to me…it took only a few more thrusts for him to climax. Once his essence was finished pouring into me, I pushed him away, got up and dressed and then headed downstairs as the food was arriving any second. 

After pouring our wine, the doorbell rang. I knew Vince was still in a little bit of shock of me pushing him off me and is probably getting dressed at the moment, I opened the door to the delivery driver. Plastering a smile on my face, I thanked him. I gave him a $15 tip as he handed me the food. When I closed the door, I called up to Vince to let him know the food was here. On his way downstairs, he looked concerned. 

Following me into the kitchen, Vince asked if I truly did consent…I told him that I did, indeed, consent. He asked me why I did even though I didn’t want to be intimate with him. I explained to him that even though I didn’t want to, he did and that as a man, he deserves a woman who willingly opens her legs for him so he’s satisfied. He looked me strangely, kissed me to thank me and he helped me bring the food and filled wine glasses to the table.

I went back to the kitchen to grab the bottle of the opened wine. In the short time I was gone, he lit the candles that were on the table and had the CD player softly playing one of my favorite country band’s CD. I smiled at him, kissing him on the cheek and sat down across from him. We didn’t have much to say we were mentally exhausted from therapy. I drank more wine than I actually ate but Vince didn’t seem to notice. I took my plate into the kitchen, packed my up my food, poured another glass of wine, changed the cd and went back to sit across from this gorgeous man that I love. He got up to put his food away into the fridge and came back with another bottle of wine. Taking his hand, he lead us to the living room. We put our glasses as well as the new bottle of wine. 

I looked at him funny until he said that wanted to dance with me, I smiled a bit and went into his open arms. We danced until the cd stopped, enjoyed half of the new bottle and then we went upstairs. He asked if I wanted the lights off or dimmed and I said dimmed. I stripped and got into bed and he followed suit, sliding right behind me, wrapping his arms around me. 

As I was half way asleep, Vince used his hands play with my nipples. I pushed backwards into him and put one leg over his legs. He let go of my nipples to use one of his hands to guide his penis in my apex.

“Mmmmm,” I moaned in pleasure. “You feel amazing deep inside of me.”

Vince moaned and continued to take his time thrusting in and out of me. His hands were wandered a bit until his hands landed on my nipples again. I got so turned on when he was playing with nipples; I pulled away, rolled onto my back and told him to continue what he started.  It took him no time to re-enter my apex again. He held onto my breasts as he was thrusting harder and faster. We were both close to finishing, he squeezed my breasts as hard as he could then we climaxed together. He rolled us a little so we were on our sides and still connected; I could still feel him pouring his essence into me. 

We fell asleep seconds later.

Not as scared as I was on Monday and Tuesday nights

I got back to Vince’s a little later than I expected…there were more idiots on the road than usual. Once I pulled into the parking lot closest to his place, I sighed in relief that most of my day was over. I used the key I had given back to him to let myself in and dropped all of my stuff at the door; I stripped down to my panties and bra, leaving my clothes where I left them. 

Found Vince in the kitchen cooking dinner. I greeted him and he spun around to greet me. He saw that I was just in my panties and bra, he took the food off the heat and rushed to my side. Vince wrapped me in his arms and leaned down to kiss me. I wrapped my one hand around his neck to draw his mouth closer to mine, dropped my other hand to his penis and started to rub his penis through his pants. He moaned and began to unhook my bra. I returned the favor of taking his tshirt and sweats off. 

I took him by the hand and lead him to his room. We climbed onto his bed, I got on my back and spread my legs for him. He realized that neither of us took my panties off so he just ripped them right off of me and slid his hard penis in my waiting apex with some force; it was a little of a struggle as my apex was sore from last night. Vince thrusted as hard as he could in order to enter me fully with his penis…I screamed in both pleasure and pain. My screaming turned Vince on even more than he had been so he grabbed a firm hold onto both of my breasts and rode me hard. 

He pulls out, rolls me flat onto my stomach, lifts my hips and slides his penis back into my apex, we’re both moaning each other’s names. He dropped my hips and kept thrusting fast in and out of me. Moments later, he bites the base of my neck as we both climax hard together. 

We lay there - Vince still in me, the last drops of his essence dripping into me - we’re both panting, trying to catch our breaths. He rolls us to our sides and wraps his arms around me…I feel his still hard penis resting against me. We fall asleep, not waking until 9 pm. I brush my teeth, put on his robe and go into the kitchen. 

I look to see what he’s been cooking; it’s all dairy (cream, etc.). I turn to walk away to get Vince to let him know that the dairy that he’d been handling earlier had turned but he’s already behind me.

“Baby, I’m so sorry that I ruined dinner,” Vince told me. “I was hoping to make you this incredible French dish but I was distracted.”

“It’s ok,” I said. “I’m the one who came in here in my skivvies, love. We’re both to blame. I’m happy with that beautiful chocolate cake you made and a glass of wine.” 

Vince laughed because he knows how much I love sweets and appreciate how hard he works to bake different desserts for me no matter how obscure they are. I went up on my tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek but he’d turned his head so I’d kiss him on his mouth. I kissed him and lingered there with him kissing me in return for a few seconds before I stepped away. If either of us let the kiss continue, we’d wind up in bed again. 

I clean the pots and pans that he was using earlier as he prepared the cake and wine for us. It didn’t take either of us long and we took our plates and glasses into the living…the tv was still on but playing another over played cheesy rom-com movie. We let the movie continue to play as we talked about our days, his two sessions and teasing each other. 

After finishing dessert and our wine, I got up to take care our plates but Vince said he’d rather take care of it as he felt that I needed a break. I blushed and turned away. As he was in the kitchen, I take the cushions off the couch and pull out the bed…I was a little bit too sore to climb the stairs. 

Vince came back with massive travel mugs with him filled with ice water for us during the night. We stripped and climbed into bed. As usual, he was the big spoon and I was the little spoon which I absolutely love when he is as I feel safe and protected in his arms (and even after hitting me, I felt protected in his arms while being the little spoon). 

I’d woken once in the night to go to the bathroom. When I’d come back, his penis was hard and was ready despite being asleep. I gently shook Vince trying to wake him but he didn’t stir so I took an ice cube from my water and let it drip on his torso. He immensely woke up and asked me what the matter was and I leaned down to slowly stroke his still hard penis. A moan escaped from him. I hopped onto the bed and asked Vince to lay down on his back.

Once he was comfortable, I straddled his hips, grabbed his penis to hold it still, lined up my apex and slid down his rock hard penis. He felt massive inside of me like this. I didn’t want to move because his felt so good like this in me but I started sliding up and down his penis as fast as I could. A few seconds later, we climaxed together. Still inside of me, Vince rolled us over so I was the one on my back.

Vince slowly began thrusting in my sore but dripping apex. I moved my one leg around and rested my ankle on his shoulder.

“Fuck,” Vince groaned, thrusting harder and harder inside of me. “You feel so amazing and incredibly tight like this. I’m can’t control myself around you!”

He grabbed my other leg to move it and rested that leg’s ankle on his other shoulder. He continued to pound his penis in me as hard and as fast as he could, making me yell his name over and over again…after a few minutes like this, he explodes and his essence is being shot deep into my uterus. As his essence is entering me, his penis is still hard and begins to twitch…I bite the base of his neck and he screamed my name as he exploded again. 

We both disengage and catch our breath. I fall into a light sleep for a little bit; I can hear and feel Vince moving around on the bed for awhile. I force myself awake and ask him what he wants. He tells me that he wants to have sex with me until the last possible minute before I need to start getting ready for work. I roll onto my back and spread my legs again for the man I love.

My alarm went off at 6 am this morning just a few minutes after we climaxed together again. We groan as we were wanting more time together. I rolled onto my stomach and told Vince that if he were up to a quickie, he better get started. He laughed, spread my legs and gently entered my sore apex. Vince took his time thrusting in and out out my apex, kissing and caressing my body. It didn’t take long for us to climax again.

He disengaged from me, letting me get up. I was a little unsteady on my feet for a second but once I was good, I hopped into the shower - solo - and got ready for the day. As I was getting dressed, Vince made my coffee and my lunch. I came down to grab my stuff, kissing Vince before I headed out. At that point, I’d remembered that I forgot to take my birth control yesterday morning. I immediately went inside my purse, grabbing my birth control pills and a morning after pill. I took 2 birth control pills and a morning after pill. 

Vince looked at me weird and I told him that there’s no way I’m having children so I need to be on top of everything. He looked disappointed that I decided not to have any kids - especially his. I kissed him again before leaving. 

I know that in today’s double session of therapy - couples and anger management - will be both interesting and kind of funny as Vince and I did NOT follow the orders of both therapists. 

I’m currently at work and officially clocked in so I must go. 

Sorry for not posting for a bit

I can’t fully explain what’s been going on because legally it’s still a mess. What I can share is that about the end of March, Vince was became livid with something I said or did so he hit me; it wasn’t the playful kind….it was the domestic violence type of hitting me. I called the cops, we both shared our sides and whatnot. I wanted to press charges; my brother hired an attorney for me and there was a big attorney meeting with my attorneys, Vince’s, me, Vince and my brother. Vince got fined and all that shit, and we hadn’t talked from then to Thursday or Friday of last week. There’s still some legal shit going on and that I’m unable to share. 

Vince reached out to my brother and the attorney my brother hired stating that he’s been going to both regular counseling and anger management therapy (he was court ordered to at my demand) and has documentation for attending both consistently. He also wanted to get back together with me so we can try to be in a relationship again. The attorney was wary of it, my brother did NOT want me to and part of me didn’t but the rest of me did because I will always love Vince despite him hitting me. Yes, I’m aware that that domestic violence is NOT ok; a person who strikes another has a high chance of repeating the behavior repeatedly…I’ve seen the documentation that Vince has and I’ve spoken with both of his therapists; I feel like he truly is trying to change his behavior and become a better version of himself. 

After much deliberation, I decided that I would spend Monday night through this Thursday night with Vince at his place. I promised my brother that I’d carry my pepper spray with me at all times when I’m with Vince. We do share the same room and bed but on the advice of his therapists, we’re not to be sexually intimate this week. I’ll be joining him in his anger management therapy twice a week - he’ll attend 3 to 5 sessions a week - and we’ll both in couples therapy together 3 days a week.

It’s a bit awkward and weird being in his condo with him again after shit went down. I feel like that I’m walking on eggshells around him as I’m nervous that he’ll hit me again. I actually flinched when he hugged me after walking into his condo after work on Monday. So far, he’d been gentle and loving towards me; he said that he’d wake me up in the morning so I can get ready for work, he’d make me coffee in the morning, help me bring my stuff in from the car after work, make dinner for us, etc. I’m enjoying this and am reminded why I fell in love with him so many years ago. This is the Vince that I’m so in love with - the kind, caring, smart and loving Vince. 

Last night, when I arrived at his place after work, I entered, kicked off my shoes and walked into the kitchen to find Vince prepping dinner. He’d heard me, looked up, smiled at me, washed his hands, came over to me and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I smiled and blushed. I took a step closer to him so that we’re just inches from each other and we look into each other’s eyes…I tilted my head slightly to the right. He leaned in to kiss me on my mouth, I kissed him back…it was a passionate kiss. Our hands were exploring the other’s body as we matched each other kiss for kiss.

Moments later, I pulled away…panting, trying to catch my breath. I excused myself to take a shower to destress from work. After toweling off, I put on sweats and sit down on the couch next to Vince; he’d brought over a heavy blanket and two wine glasses. He angled himself in the corner of the of the couch - against the arm of the couch - and I curled up against him, pulling the blanket up to my chin and his lap. Vince turned on the news but seconds later I fell asleep. 

I was asleep for about 45 minutes before Vince woke me up to let me know dinner was ready. He made chicken parm with homemade marinara sauce, a side of homemade pasta and  garlic bread, making sure that my wine glass was full. Last night’s dinner was the best he’s made for me so far and I thanked him for making dinner. I offered to help clean up but he declined my offer. 

I wound up in the living room, turned the tv on and selected a channel that was playing a lame romance movie that I’ve seen so many times that I have three quarters of the lines memorized. After cleaning up, Vince joined me in the the living room to finish watching the movie. Again, I found myself curled up against Vince but this time I was wrapped up in his arms. We laughed at how ridiculously cheesy and stupid the movie was but we still enjoyed it. 

During a commercial break, I turned my body a little to face Vince better - I had to look up a little bit. It was like he read my mind. He leaned down to kiss me, I opened my mouth to welcome him. We situated ourselves to be more comfortable on the couch as we kissed…we lost our self control. As we were kissing and exploring the other’s body, we were ripping our clothes off as we headed to the bedroom. I was questioning myself if I really wanted to risk having sex with him but we both wanted the other desperately. 

We got on the bed, I rolled onto my back and spread my legs for the man I love. Seconds later, he entered me. He tried to control himself by taking his time but he let loose and thrusted in me deep and fast. I’d wrapped my legs around him to try to get him even closer to me. He rolled us over so I was on top and I rode his penis like there was no tomorrow…we were so close to finishing when he rolled us over again; I raised my hips so he could go deeper inside of me. I was too close but I wanted us to climax together so I gently bit the base of his neck, he screamed in pleasure and thrusted a few more times and we climaxed together. 

Vince rolled us to our sides as he was still inside me and still shooting his essence in me. I don’t know how long we laid like this but I fell asleep shortly after. 

I didn’t wake up in the night but I automatically woke up without my alarm to get ready for work while Vince was still asleep. I looked in on him one more time before leaving for the day; the love of my life had a slight smile on his face.