Like why did I not take my birth control? And why did I have unprotected sex with a man that hit me and could hit me again? Love makes people do crazy things. Abusers claim that they’re going to change but they all don’t. Vince - I know for a fact - is wanting to change….not just for me but for him as well.
To answer the first question about not taking my birth control; it’s not like I purposely skipped it to get pregnant. I’d been wrapped up with Vince, this job and other very personal things that I’m unwilling to share that I’d just simply forgotten to take it
To answer the second question about having sex with a man that hit me and can possibly hit me again….I honestly believe that it was a one time thing. He knew what he did was wrong and is actively working on himself so he doesn’t repeat hitting/abusing me again or hitting someone else.
By mid morning on Saturday - after I’d gotten back to my place - I took a birth control pill (yes, I know…too late) and a morning after pill. I’d looked at a calendar hanging up in the kitchen and figured that it was only 2 days in a row that I’d missed a pill but the other days in this month I did, in fact, take it. The morning after pill would do it’s job and I needed to get back on track with my birth control.
Around 4 pm on Saturday, Vince stopped by to talk about the night before. He apologized for not giving me a better warning about hiring the band for a little bit and also stated that he felt that I need to take a morning after pill because we aren’t where we should be if we were to have a child.
I told him that I accepted his apology and that I was hours ahead of him with taking the morning after pill. He said that if I do end up pregnant, he will support me emotionally and monetarily no matter what I decide. He knew - deep down - that if I did end up pregnant, I’d have an abortion…I wouldn’t be able to carry the fetus to term and NOT have an attachment to it.
He leant down to kiss me good bye. I told him that I wanted him to stay for dinner and for the night but it was his choice. He accepted and thanked me then went out to his car to get his bag.
I had homemade sauce going since I’d gotten home so I figured that I’d get my biggest baking pan and make lasagna; it was the plan from the beginning. While I was preparing the pan, the ricotta cheese, finely grated parmesano cheese, parsley, eggs and everything Vince had opened a bottle of wine that he’d brought, bringing me a glass. I finished the lasagna making process and tossed it in the oven.
Finally I’d taken a sip of the wine that Vince brought; I’d heard and read great reviews of the brand. The wine was much better than I expected. We grabbed our glasses and the bottle and headed to the backyard. He asked about the dogs so I told him that they were at my parents for a few more hours as I did a deep cleaning of my place but I said that I’d make sure that at least one of them would be around the next time he was around. He said that he’d love that but I better be careful because I may be missing a dog when he leaves. I laughed so hard. I went up on my toes to kiss him.
Vince kissed me back with such passion that I’ve never experienced either with him or with anyone else. We put our wine glasses on the table so we wouldn’t drop the them and waste such good wine. I reached up to rest my hand on his neck and to guide him deeper into the kiss. He lifts my skirt to pull my panties down but soon realizes that I’m not wearing any: I pull away and lean over the bannister/guard rail of the deck. Vince unzips pants and slides his penis into my apex and I groan.
Vince slides his penis in and and out of me gently as he reaches around to grab my breasts from under my shirt, rubbing my nipples.
“Yes,” I moan. “Don’t stop, baby.”
“Wasn’t planning on stopping, beautiful,” he groaned.
He slowly picks up the pace, thrusting in and out of me a little faster. With each thrust, we were closer to climaxing together. Moment later, he finished seconds before I did.
“Baby,” Vince said, panting. “I hate to break this up but the timer for the lasagna is going off. As much as we both want to take this to your bedroom but there’s no way way I’m going to let you burn your famous lasagna!”
I nodded my head in agreement, fixed my skirt as he put his pants back on, we grabbed our wine glasses, the wine, I took his hand and we went inside.
As Vince topped off our wine as I pulled the lasagna out of the oven, turned the oven off and set the timer for 15 minutes to allow the lasagna to set. From there, I set the table as Vince made a small salad. Before the timer for the lasagna went off, I checked to see if it had set and thankfully it did.
I cut a decent sized slice for Vince, adding a few slices of Italian bread to his plate and brought the plate over to him at the table then I served myself. We talked about how therapy went for us together and discussed what our future could be like if we kept moving forward in this upward direction. As we cleaned up, we continued our conversation from dinner. We talked about everything and anything that we could think of finishing 3 bottles of wine.
As we were winding down, it was 1:30 am - we were tired and buzzed. Vince contemplated leaving but I told him that I had already taken his keys hiding them as he wasn’t fit to drive. He said that it was a 12 minute drive on non highway roads and I responded that it’s late, we didn’t sleep much the night before and that he drank too much. He knew that I was right and agreed to spend the night.
He went up to my room so he could go to bed as I finished cleaning up. Before heading upstairs, I made sure that all the doors and windows are locked, set the security alarm, grabbed a few bottles of water from the fridge, turned off the lights and went upstairs. I put the bottles in my room, strip and my put my clothes in my laundry basket, take a quick shower and join Vince in bed.
I try not to move much as Vince was already asleep and I didn’t want to wake him up. Not long after going to bed, I fell asleep. Sometime in the night, Vince rolls over pulling me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me, waking me up. I could smell his cologne that still lingered. I smiled and fell back asleep, feeling safe in the arms of the man I love.
We slept in until 9:30. I get up to shower, brush my teeth and get dressed, leaving Vince to take his time. By the time he gets downstairs in a spare set of clothes that he’d left behind, the coffee is ready and the grits are almost done - I make grits the right way…in a pot. I take them off the heat as Vince kissed me good morning, I kiss him back but I pull back a few minutes later. I offer him a mug of cup of coffee before I serve him a bowl of garlic and butter grits. I serve myself a small amount and then pack up the rest for another breakfast or even a dinner.
After we talk a bit, he gets up and states that he needs to head out to his sister in law’s for a bit. I go up on my toes and kiss him good bye. I don’t say anything but I know that he’s got something on his mind. After he leaves, I clean up and take my birth control and a morning after pill. I take the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday to get ready for work.
Monday I returned to work bright and early. I leave on time for once so I can make it to couples therapy. It was not as tough as the previous week’s but it was still hard; the same was for anger management. We went several times to both therapies and we split the week alternating night at each other’s places.
Thursday I was fired - long story - but I am 100% ok with it. It had nothing to do with bad behavior nor write ups nor anything else on my end. It was their lack of faith in me and training me for the work; they failed to support me when I needed it.
After leaving, I dropped my stuff at my house, grabbed the bag I had already packed for the weekend at Vince’s. He knew what happened and didn’t say anything when I entered his condo. He just hugged me for a long time, kissing me on the top of my head. When we finally let go, Vince said that he had ordered food and that it should be arriving soon.
“Want a glass of wine, baby?” Vince asked me as he brushed hair away from my face. “I have a few different brands that you like.”
“Sure,” I said, leaning into his hand. “Your choice, baby. I’m going upstairs to shower.”
Vince nodded his head, kissing my cheek. I grab my bag and head upstairs. I take a quick shower, take out my contacts, put on an oversized shirt, put on my glasses and headed downstairs.
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