Lines in the sand

Friday morning, around 6:30, I felt Randy slip out of bed. Quiet as always, he took a shower, brewed coffee, and slipped out the door without a word. I drifted back to sleep and didn’t wake until nearly 9 a.m. When I finally got up, I stripped the sheets off the bed, tossed them in the washer, and took a hot shower. After getting dressed and taking my birth control, I found a folded note resting on the kitchen counter. I ate a banana for breakfast.

His handwriting was unmistakably messy:
“I’ll be back around 12:30/1 pm. I know you don’t like surprises, but I think you’ll like this one. — R”

I crumpled the note in my hand and threw it out, already bracing for whatever chaos he was about to bring.

In the meantime, I did some some changes to the website for work using my personal laptop. Around 12:15, I heated up some leftovers from last night for lunch and made some sangria for Randy and me to enjoy later.

At 12:45, the front door swung open, and Randy walked in with Emma and Max. They were all beaming like it was a casual drop-in. My stomach clenched.

Uninvited. Unannounced. Fucking perfect. I fucking hate kids.

Randy caught my eye, a sheepish grin spreading across his face as if this was all somehow normal. “Hey,” he said. “Hope you don’t mind. They wanted to say hi. Emma? Max? I already told you in the car ride here to NOT snoop. Knock it off!”

I swallowed the rising anger and forced a tight smile. “Randy, no. You have my permission to be here. I never gave you my permission to bring them here.”

He blinked. “They’re just kids.”

“What I hate more than liars and scammers are people who disrespect my space and privacy. You do not bring uninvited guests to someone’s home — I don’t care if it’s your kids, your ex, or your fucking dog. You ask the host first. That’s basic courtesy.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Okay, whoa—this is a little dramatic.”

“Oh, dramatic? Randy, they’ve been here five minutes and already started snooping through my shelves. What happens if they find my asthma meds, unaware what they are and take them? What if we were in another area of the house and they got into the alcohol? What if they open a drawer that’s not for kids – the drawer that has condoms, lube, toys and my birth control? I do my best to set a good example for kids – had you asked for them to come over, I would locked up my medications, the alcohol and the condoms. Are they old enough to know what this stuff is? Yes, however they are NOT my kids and it’s not my job to educate them on what everything is.”

Emma and Max shifted uncomfortably.

“Look, I’m not mad at them. I’m mad at you for assuming it was okay. You didn’t ask. You didn’t give me a heads-up. That’s what’s disrespectful.”

Randy ran a hand through his hair, visibly annoyed. “Come on, it’s not like they’ve never been here before.”

“It doesn’t matter. This isn’t your space. You don’t just decide to bring people here. You ask the host. That’s called respect. And common courtesy.”

He sighed, muttered something under his breath, and stepped outside to make a call. When he returned, his face was slightly flushed.

“Kelsey’s on her way,” he said. “She’s picking them up. She’s got the rest of the day planned. They’ll be staying over at her place.”

Emma and Max groaned in disappointment.

I nodded, tight-lipped.

Kelsey arrived shortly after. I hugged her warmly — for her, none of this was her fault.

She leaned in and whispered softly, “I haven’t seen my brother this happy in a long time. Thanks for making him happy.”

I forced a half-smile and said nothing.

Once the kids were gone, Randy turned to me. His voice was low, conciliatory. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to disrespect you or your space.”

I crossed my arms, still simmering. “You broke a MAJOR boundary with me, Randy. It’s not just about the kids being here. It’s the assumption. The lack of thought.”

“I just thought—”

“That’s the problem; thought died. You thought instead of asking. You decided for me. Do you understand how that makes me feel? Like my boundaries and I do not matter. You talk all this game about trust and communication and then you do the exact opposite.”

His jaw clenched. “I didn’t think it’d be a big deal.”

I stared at him. “Again, thought died. Then maybe you don’t know me as well as you think. Nor how much I value trust, respect and my privacy. I feel extremely violated after your kids went through my house after your poor attempt to tell them to stop.”

He leaned in to kiss me softly — a peace offering — but I stepped back, ending the kiss before it continued.

“Go home,” I said, voice firm. “Tonight is over. So is this weekend. And us.”

He lingered, visibly wounded, but finally turned and left.

Fuming, I texted Javi — yes, that Javi from years ago.

Me:
You free for dinner later? Near me. 6:30?

Javi:
Yes, of course! Send me the details.

I ordered a car ahead of time, already knowing I’d need a drink or three with Javi. But in the meantime, I’d rage clean what the kids messed up while going through my house. It's not that things were messed up significantly but things weren't put back to their original places - a few things were brought into a different room.

As I was getting ready for dinner with my dear friend, I ended up drinking about half of the sangria. I knew I needed to eat soon.

Javi was early. He had a booth near the corner, two drinks already waiting. When I walked in, he stood and enveloped me in one of his famous hugs — the kind that made the rest of the world dissolve.

Dinner with Javi was a breath of fresh air. I told him everything: Randy’s surprise drop-in, the snooping kids, the blatant disrespect. He already knew, understood and respected my dislike of kids – with the exception of my nieces and nephews….the biologic and honorary.

Javi understood my fury completely. “You set boundaries for a reason. He crossed them like they were barely suggestions.”

When Randy appeared an hour later at the bar picking up his takeout, Javi tensed, pulling back his hand when it instinctively reached for mine just seconds before. I don’t think Randy saw us. I doubt he even looked. But even if he had — we weren’t exclusive. Plus, I was clear that everything was over. And Javi? Javi was safe. Javi is always safe...he grounds me.

Twenty minutes later, my phone buzzed.

Randy:
You’re right. I screwed up bringing the kids unannounced. I want to make it up tomorrow.

I left him on read. For almost an hour.

Me:
Call me tomorrow morning. Goodnight.

Javi and I talked about our general hatred of children but our nieces and nephews – both honorary and biologic were the exceptions. Neither one of us wanted to have kids – which made our mutual friends say that we’re a perfect fit for each other.

Javi and I lingered until closing. We ordered our cars outside. His arrived first. We hugged. As he left, another car honked. I looked over in that direction. Randy. He was standing just outside of his car. The car that I requested arrived. With one last look at Randy, I got in the car. I couldn’t wait to get home.

A text message appeared, but I deleted it. Then he called. Ignored. He kept calling. I got home. He called again. And again.

I silenced him on my phone for the night.

By 9 a.m., I was showered and dressed. I released the silence for him on my phone. The phone rang instantly. I answered.

“So, you just ignored me all night?” Randy said, voice low and defensive.

“I had every right,” I said calmly. “You crossed a major boundary. And you acted like you didn’t even see the issue.”

A pause.

“I saw you last night. With another man.”

I laughed. Bitter. Tired. “You mean you saw me having dinner with my friend Javi, and now you want to twist that into something else? All because you’re hurt I told you to leave after telling you that you crossed my boundaries? And that it’s common knowledge that you talk to the host prior to bringing people with you?”

Silence.

“I don’t owe you anything, Randy. Especially not loyalty when you can't even offer basic respect.”

Then I added, “I’m done. Don’t call again. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you.”

And I hung up.

Tears welled up, unbidden. Frustration, disappointment, grief.

I texted Kelsey.

Me:
Can you come over? I need to talk about your brother.

Kelsey:
Be there soon!

She arrived 35 minutes later, arms full — fried chicken, cookies, ice cream, cocktails. Carbs. She placed the ice cream in the freezer when I grabbed plates, napkins and utensils for the fried chicken. We sat on the couch, eating in silence for a few minutes. I told her everything.

“I’m so sorry you’re caught in this,” she said quietly. “Randy can be… difficult.”

“‘Difficult’ doesn’t cover it,” I murmured. “What he did — bringing the kids here without asking, brushing it off, accusing me of cheating — it was reckless. Cruel. And I ended it with him as he, clearly, lacks respect for me.”

She sighed. “You’re right. I love my brother, but he doesn't always think things through — especially when he’s trying too hard. That’s not an excuse. Just a pattern I’ve seen since we were kids.”

“What pattern? That he tries too hard?” I asked.

“Yes, especially when it comes to a woman he likes. I feel like he assumed that because you’re a woman, you will automatically love his kids. Not every woman will like or enjoy their partner’s kids from a previous relationship or kids in general.  I do love Emma and Max to bits but then again, they’re my niece and nephew. But honestly? I don’t like kids either.”

“It’s not just about the kids,” I said. “It’s the disregard. Had he told me, I would’ve put my meds, my paperwork, even my—” I paused. “Condoms, toys and lube. Locked it all up. I try to set a good example for kids – whether they’re my nieces and nephews or even Emma and Max. I’m not perfect, but I try to be a good role model. And he blew through all of it like none of it mattered. And he barely said anything as he saw them go through my stuff in front of he and I.”

Kelsey blinked. “He brought them here... with no warning, and they just started going through your things?”

I nodded. “They’re good kids. But they’re still kids. They lack respect for other peoples’ stuff and privacy; far less he does.”

She reached across the couch, gripped my hand tightly.

“You don’t owe Randy forgiveness. You owe yourself peace. And I just want you to know — I’m on your side. You’re not crazy. You’re not dramatic. You’re just asking for respect and privacy.”

I inhaled and exhaled deeply - the first real breath I’d taken all day.

“Thank you,” I said, my voice cracking.

“I’ll talk to him,” she promised. “I’ll remind him that boundaries aren’t barriers. They’re signs of trust. And if he can’t honor yours, then he doesn’t deserve to be in your life. As much as I want the both of you to be together, after what we’ve discussed, you deserve better than him. Move on and find someone else worthy of your time.”

We sat like that for a while, the food cold between us, but my heart a little warmer. And a little tipsy. We put the fried chicken away and ate the ice cream and cookies for the rest of the day.

As Kelsey was leaving my house, I heard her call Randy and lay into him:
“What is wrong with you, Randy? You know better! Mama and Daddy taught you better. They always said when you go somewhere that you’re invited, you bring the host a gift. They said it every single time we left the house to go where we were invited to go - especially if it were someone's residence! If you want to include someone on the invitation, you ask! Randy. Randy. Randy - my god you're infuriating! It's no wonder she ended it with you!”

I didn’t hear the rest as she closed the door behind her. All I can tell you, dear readers, is that I underestimated Kelsey and overestimated Randy. I also knew that Kelsey was going to be an amazing friend.

---

About an hour after Kelsey left, there was a soft knock on my door.

I barely had the energy to smile, but when I opened the door and saw Javi standing there, his eyes full of warmth and concern, something inside me cracked wide open. I stepped forward, and he pulled me into a long, lingering hug — the kind that felt like a balm for every jagged edge in my heart. I smiled for the first time since I told Randy to leave yesterday

I cried into his chest, then laughed through my tears, the wild mix of emotions tumbling out in waves. We stayed like that for a long while — holding on, grounding each other.

When I finally pulled back, we kissed softly, tentative and full of meaning. But then he pulled away, looking serious.

“I want you as much as you want me,” he said quietly, “but I’m holding back. I want you to heal. To move on. Not rushing into anything because you think it’ll fix things. I’m here, whenever you’re ready to talk.”

His honesty made my heart ache and gave me strength all at once.

Javi instinctively knew that I wanted him to stay over for the night. He joined me in bed, down to his boxers while I lay naked beside him. There was no pressure, no expectations — just the steady warmth of his body next to mine.

He held me through the night, the steady presence I didn’t realize I desperately needed.

For once, I felt safe. Respected. Cared for.