Collateral damage

Sleep had been hollow and measured in fleeting hours stolen from a mind that refused to cede to rest. My worry for Matteo felt like a physical weight settled upon my chest, a cold and leaden ache that had nothing to do with gravity. The fear that he and Vince would become collateral damage in the wake of my complicated, messy history with both of them was a thought I could not shake—a gnawing anxiety that kept me pinned to the bed as the first tentative fingers of predawn light reached through the curtains. My thoughts spun in an agonizing loop, replaying the events involving Mike and conjuring a dozen catastrophic legal outcomes. The silence of the room, punctuated only by the distant hum of the house and the slow, steady beat of my heart amplified the tension. I longed for the oblivion of a deeper sleep but my mind refused to grant it.

Eventually, the futile search for rest became undeniable. I slid out of bed, the smooth silk sheets feeling cool against my naked skin and sought refuge of my morning routine. The bathroom air was cool and still but scalding spray of the shower became a cleansing force, a loud, hissing cascade that washed away not just the feel of my own fear but the residue of the night's dark emotions. I hung the towels and in the mirror reflected a tired, drawn face, and I brushed my teeth. I chose a familiar set of loungewear that felt like a second skin. Only then did I feel composed enough to descend the stairs.

The scent of coffee was the first thing to greet me, a rich, earthy aroma that promised normalcy. It was a familiar comfort, a small point of light in the lingering emotional fog. The sounds of easy laughter drew me to the kitchen, a welcome sound that filled the empty spaces in the house. I found Matteo and Vince, their relaxed postures and lighthearted banter a stark contrast to the tumult that had occupied my thoughts. Matteo was leaning against the counter, a mug cupped in both hands, while Vince sat at the kitchen table, a laptop open in front of him.

"I was listening to 'Word Crimes' by Weird Al while you were sleeping earlier," Vince said. "Dude's seriously a musical genius - his lyrical precision is next-level. Who else can make a song about grammar that's actually catchy? Well, DeppGrl most likely but don’t ask her to sing!"

Matteo nodded in agreement, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Weird Al is a national treasure and needs to be protected! Deppgrl and I went to his concert a few years ago and it was the best show we’ve seen together. He’s far better than half the bands he parodies - it's not even a fair comparison. The energy in the room was just incredible."

Vince chuckled, leaning back in his chair. "I've always wanted to see him live. I heard he puts on a crazy show. Did he do 'Amish Paradise'?"

Matteo's grin widened even further at the question. "Of course! He did most of his collection. The costume changes after each song were insane, and Deppgrl almost got hit by an inflatable accordion when he threw it into the crowd. It was one of those moments where you just look at each other and start laughing because it's so ridiculously perfect." He shook his head, a mixture of disbelief and fond memory in his eyes. "Nobody else has a career like that. Al is a walking encyclopedia of pop culture."

Vince laughed. "He's been doing this for decades, and he's still relevant. My most recent former students were fans of his and many had all of his LPs.”

I poured myself a mug of coffee, the steam a warm cloud against my face then fixed it with my favorite flavored and sweetened Chobani creamer. My ears were still tuned to their conversation, the casual ease of their banter a welcome sound. I drank my coffee as they talked. It was a stark contrast to the familiar anger that simmered just beneath my own surface. Mike's jealousy, his petty meddling with Matteo's car—it all felt like a bitter, unwanted residue of the previous night, a stain that wouldn't wash away. The memory of his pettiness and the fear in Matteo's eyes was a sharp, unpleasant memory.

Yet, a surprising sense of calm settled over me, rooted not in forgiveness but in a quiet finality. I had an unshakeable faith in Kay despite her hurting me unintentionally as she thought she was protecting me. I knew she would handle it - she would talk to Mike, making it clear in no uncertain terms that he was to avoid both Matteo and me for a while. I also knew she would deliver the final, crushing blow: any hope he had of a future with me was now irrevocably gone, a consequence of his own actions. It was a firm, unspoken promise that brought a sense of closure to the situation, allowing me to finally breathe without a weight on my chest. I took a slow sip of my coffee, the warmth spreading through me, and for the first time since yesterday, I felt the tension begin to drain from my shoulders. The world outside the kitchen felt less threatening, and the two men's laughter became a quiet, reassuring symphony of normalcy.

I finished my coffee and walked into the living room, a genuine smile on my face, happy to see that they had found something to bond over that wasn't related to me. "Hey guys," I said. "How are you two doing this morning?"

"We're good," Vince said, looking up from his laptop. "Matteo is a trooper. He has been keeping me busy."

"Yeah, I'm good," Matteo added, his own smile tired but sincere. "Vince made sure the ice packs were on rotation and the pain meds were maintained. He’s a good nurse."

"Sounds like you're both in good hands," I said, laughing at the image of Vince playing nurse. "Are you hungry? I can make us something to eat."

"You don't need to," Vince replied, his eyes still on his laptop. "I called Aditi at Flavors of India and ordered two of everything on the menu to be delivered here. She was more than happy to and said it'd be about an hour and fifteen minutes. I called her about forty-five minutes ago."

I laughed, picking up my mug down. "Vince, you're a lifesaver. Let me go clean up the mess you left in the kitchen, then."

After tidying up the kitchen and pouring myself more coffee,  I returned to the living room. "The food will be here shortly," I said, leaning against the doorway. "Do you guys want me to set up trays and bring everything in here, or is Matteo up for moving into the kitchen?"

Matteo shifted, wincing slightly. "I think I can move into the kitchen. It would probably be good to stretch and move around a little."

Vince looked up from his computer. "You sure? We can totally do the tray thing."

"Yeah, I'm sure," Matteo said, pushing himself up slowly from the couch with a quiet groan. "Just give me a second." He tried to get up on his own, but his legs trembled, and he quietly whispered to Vince, "Vince, can I please get a little help?"

Vince immediately stood and helped him up. I winced as I heard Matteo moan and groan in pain, my heart aching for him. I met him halfway across the living room, and he bent down the best he could to kiss me. I held him by the waist.

"Whoa, hang on a second," I said gently.

I grabbed the small step stool I used to reach the high kitchen cabinets, brought it over to him, and stepped up on it. I leaned in and kissed him softly. He wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel the familiar weight of his body as his kiss deepened. I felt his dick harden against my body, and he moaned into the kiss, a sound that was a mix of desire and relief. When we pulled apart, I whispered, "A few more days, okay?"

Matteo rested his forehead against mine, his breath warm against my skin. "Okay," he said, his voice a low rumble. "But I want you now."

I smiled, my heart fluttering. "I know, I want you too." I climbed down from the stool and moved it back to its spot next to the cabinets. "Let's get you into the kitchen. The food should be here soon."

Matteo nodded and made his way down the hallway. "I'm going to head to the bathroom first," Matteo said. "I don't think I need any help, but I'll leave the door open just in case."

As Matteo limped to the bathroom, Vince looked back to me. "Is it really a good idea for you two to have sex so soon after the accident?" he asked, his voice low with genuine concern.

"Probably not," I admitted. "But in a few days, he'll see his primary doctor and then follow up with Maddie."

Vince looked puzzled. "Maddie? Who's Maddie?"

"She's the ER physician that took care of me after the whole Xavier fiasco," I explained.

"Oh," Vince said, his eyes widening in recognition. "Dr. Jones?"

"Yeah, that's her," I confirmed. "We'll wait until they both give him the go-ahead." I looked at Vince, my expression serious. "Hey, you know, there's something I've been wanting to say. About everything that's happened."

Vince held up his hand. "Deppgrl, I'm the one who should be talking. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for hurting you and for listening to my priest about marrying you instead of both hearing and listening to what you wanted. I should have trusted you to know what was best for you."

"Thank you, Vince," I said, and meant it. The words felt like a weight being lifted from my shoulders. "What I was going to tell you was that I'm more than okay with you when you decide to move on from me."

"Thank you," he said, a look of profound relief on his face. He leaned in as if to kiss me, but before he could, Matteo's voice came from the hallway.

"Vince, can you please come here?" he called out, the sound of his pained voice echoing.

Vince pulled away immediately. "I'm coming, man! Hold on." He rushed to the bathroom, leaving me standing alone in the kitchen, the warmth of the coffee still in my hands. The moment was gone, but the feeling of relief from the conversation remained. It was a step toward a future that felt a little less complicated, a little more certain. I knew we would be okay.

Just then, the bathroom door clicked shut. I could hear their muffled voices and the faint sound of the faucet running. "I'll be okay, don't worry," Matteo's voice was low and strained. "Just… take it easy." I could make out Vince's hushed response, Matteo joking again and saying something about Vince being a good nurse, and then a quiet shuffle of fabric as Vince helped to fix Matteo's shorts. The doorbell rang, pulling me from the moment, and I went to answer it, my excitement building to see Aditi and her amazing food.

I opened the door and found myself face to face with Mike. Before he could utter a word, I cut him off, my voice calm but firm. "Mike, I don't want to hear whatever excuse you have. I don't want to see you. You have five seconds to turn around and leave." His mouth opened slightly, but he closed it, his shoulders slumping. As he turned to leave, I added, "Anything you want to say, you can write a letter and have it sent through Kay. That's the only way I'll read it." He simply said, "Okay," before continuing his quick trip back to his own house.

I was about to close the door when a car door opened across the street, and I smelled the unmistakable scent of Aditi’s amazing food. I went out to her car and helped her carry in the millions of bags of food she had in her car.

"Did you charge him an arm and a leg, Aditi?" I asked, a playful grin on my face.

She laughed, long and hard, the sound a warm balm to my frayed nerves. "An arm and a leg? That's what I charged him initially!" she said, a twinkle in her eye. "No, but I did charge him," she said, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. "Once he gave me your address, I gave him a small discount. But it wasn't significant enough for him to notice."

I laughed, shaking my head. "That's my girl." I thanked her, then asked about her husband, since I hadn't heard from her in a while. "How's your husband doing, Aditi?"

A worried look clouded her face. "His health is a little iffy right now," she said softly. "He's not responding to his insulin very well."

As soon as I put the bags down on the kitchen counter, I took out my phone and sent her a few contacts for endocrinologist friends of mine. "These are some of the best endocrinologists in the area. Call them a call - they might be able to help."

Her eyes filled with gratitude. "Thank you so much, DeppGrl. That means the world to me."

We went back out to get more food, making a total of three trips. As we headed to the front door for the last time, I pulled her into a hug. "You know you can call me anytime if you and your husband need a ride anywhere or company when he's at a doctor's appointment or at home."

She squeezed me tight. "I know. Thank you."

I closed the door as Matteo and Vince made their slow, careful way into the kitchen. I began to unpack the containers of food as they moved, their voices low and hushed. I couldn't make out everything they were saying, but I did catch a fragment: "...just don't tell her how much pain I'm in."

They made it to the kitchen and both Vince and I helped Matteo into a chair at the kitchen table. Vince began serving Matteo food, piling his plate high with samosas, butter chicken, and naan. I, in turn, switched out the old ice packs on Matteo's knee and wrapped a fresh one around it using a stretchy bandage, then grabbed the pain meds Maddie prescribed and brought them to the table. Vince poured us all ice water and then sat down across from me, a plate full of food in front of him. "Dig in," Vince told Matteo as I sat down.

Matteo couldn't stop raving about the food. "This butter chicken is insane," he said between bites, his mouth full. "And this naan? It's like eating a cloud. I swear Aditi puts some kind of magic in her food." He finished his first plate in what felt like seconds and immediately reached for more. Vince and I watched him, a mix of concern and amusement on our faces as he ate his second, third, and then a fourth plate, his appetite seemingly limitless despite his pain.

"I haven't been this hungry in years," he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "The smell alone was torture."

"Glad to see you're enjoying it," Vince said, a smile on his face. "I'm just glad she gave me a discount."

Matteo chuckled, reaching for one more samosa. "You're a lifesaver, dude."

As Matteo was finishing his last plate, I noticed his head start to nod, his eyes fluttering. "Hey, you okay?" I asked, my voice laced with concern.

"Yeah," he mumbled, his eyes heavy. "Just... tired. Haven't slept much because of the pain."

I turned to Vince, and he gave me a subtle, knowing nod. I stood up, grabbing my phone, and excused myself. I walked into the living room and called Mark, my primary doctor.

"Mark, it's DeppGrl. I'm with Matteo—the guy from the accident yesterday. He's acting a little... off. He's eating, but he keeps nodding off. He says he's just tired, but I'm worried."

Mark's voice was immediate and sharp. "Get him to the ER right now. Don't wait. By car would be fastest. He could have an undiagnosed TBI and needs to be seen immediately. I'll meet you there."

"Okay, Mark," I said, a wave of cold dread washing over me. "Thank you so much. We're on our way." We hung up, and I went back into the kitchen.

"Vince," I said, my voice low and serious. "Load Matteo into my car and take him to the ER. I'll follow shortly."

Vince’s expression immediately shifted from calm to alert. He didn't ask for permission as he grabbed my keys from my purse. "On it," he said.

Matteo, still drowsy, shook his head. "No, I'm fine, really. I just need to rest."

"Matteo, this isn't a discussion," I said, my voice firm. "You're going. It's two against one, so don't even try."

He sighed, but didn't argue further, and Vince helped him out the front door.

As they headed to the car, I began to quickly clean up, putting away the remaining food. I grabbed a backpack and shoved a few changes of clothes for Matteo and myself inside. I then tossed in my wallet, phone, Matteo's wallet and phone, a few chargers, lightning cables, and a few bases. I raided Vince's bag for his motorcycle keys, then sent a quick text to Tara.

Me: Hey, can you pop over and lock up my house ASAP? Emergency with Matteo. Tara: On my way.

I ran out the door, fumbling with the keys. I didn't know how to ride a motorcycle and hoped I wouldn't ruin it as I sped toward the hospital. The roar of the engine was deafening, the wind whipping past my face as I navigated traffic. I barely had the motorcycle in park and turned it off before running inside the emergency room.

I could hear Mark and Maddie shouting and demanding orders. "Get him on a gurney, now!" Mark yelled, his voice cutting through the noise. "Blood work, IVs, MRIs, and a CT scan! Let's get a full picture of what's happening."

"On it, Mark!" Maddie shouted back, her voice full of urgency. "Prep a room, people! We've got a potential TBI here!"

I spotted Vince standing anxiously in the corner of the room. He saw me and walked over, kissing the top of my head before pulling me into a tight hug.

"I love you," he whispered, his mouth pressed against the side of my ear. "I know you can't and won't say it back, but I know you love me too. It’s just... different now. Especially with Matteo in the picture."

All I could do was hug him back, holding on tight as the chaos of the emergency room swirled around us. "Vince," I said, my voice barely a whisper, "take my bag."

He pulled away from the hug, his eyes questioning as he reached for the backpack. As soon as my hand released the strap, the strength I didn't know I was holding on to completely gave out. My vision tunneled and the world tilted sideways. I collapsed, falling to the floor, barely registering the dull thud as my head made contact with the cold, hard tile.

My eyes fluttered open to the soft hum of hospital machinery. A sterile, antiseptic scent filled the air, a sharp contrast to the familiar aroma of coffee and Indian food from my morning. I blinked, trying to clear the fog in my mind, and realized I was on a gurney. I was still wearing the same loungewear I had put on that morning, but my head was throbbing with a dull ache. My hand instinctively went to the spot on the back of my head where I'd hit the floor.

"Deppgrl?" a voice called out softly, and I turned my head to see Matteo. He was on a gurney of his own, in the same small room, but his was wheeled up close to mine. His face was pale, his brow furrowed with a mixture of pain and concern. "You're finally awake. Are you okay?"

"Matteo, what are you doing back here?" I asked, my voice raspy. My brain was still catching up. "And why am I on a gurney?"

"You passed out," he said, his voice quiet. "I just got back from imaging. They wanted to make sure everything was okay." He paused, his eyes scanning my face with a worried intensity. "I should be asking you if you're okay. You just collapsed."

I took a deep breath, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. "I'm fine, just... tired," I lied, the exhaustion a heavy blanket over me. My gaze went to his knee, which was still wrapped in an ice pack. "What did they say? What did Mark and Maddie say?"

"I'll be okay," he said with a tired smile, though his eyes told a different story. "We're both going to be okay."

Just then, the door opened and Mark and Maddie walked in, their expressions a mix of professional concern and personal relief. They pulled up chairs next to our gurneys.

"Glad to see you're both awake," Mark said, his voice calm and reassuring. "Matteo, your blood work came back and everything looks good. We're still waiting on the full results of your MRI and CT scans, but we have a preliminary report. Your adrenaline dropped, and the exertion of eating so much food on top of your existing injuries from the accident likely caused you to fall asleep. It's a good thing Vince brought you in. As for you, Deppgrl," Mark turned to me, a small, knowing smile on his face. "You've got a mild concussion. It's nothing serious, but it's a reminder that exhaustion is a real thing, especially after everything you've been through lately. Your adrenaline finally dropped back to normal, and your body just... gave out."

"You two gave us quite a scare," Maddie added, her tone more playful. "But we're keeping you both for observation, just to be on the safe side."

A short while later, after we had been moved to a shared hospital room, there was a knock on the door and Aditi came in, a familiar scent of spices and warmth wafting in with her.

"How are my two favorite patients?" she asked, her voice soft with concern as she approached our beds. She looked between us, her eyes gentle. "I heard what happened. I came as soon as I could."

"We're okay, Aditi," I said, trying to smile. "Just a little banged up."

Matteo nodded. "Yeah, we're doing fine."

Aditi gave me a pointed look, her eyes narrowing slightly. "For the record," she said in a clear, firm voice, "I did not alter the food in any way." She then broke into a small smile. "I'm just happy to see that you two are okay."

"Thank you, Aditi," I sighed. "We know that you would never do that to us or anyone else. Your food, restaurant and you all have a reputation of being sticklers for doing the right thing."

She nodded, patted my leg and left us.