Had a semi romantic weekend away (last weekend).

Matteo had called me last Wednesday evening to tell me that he’d gotten us a hotel in the city for us. I was a bit surprised that he’d wanted to get away with me. Thought it was very sweet of him and told him so. He’d already be in the city and he’d asked a friend of mine to bring me in as he knows that I don’t drive in the city due to anxiety; plus try going in during rush hour on a Friday night would be a nightmare for me.

I loaded up my friend’s car, hopped in and as soon as we were on the highway, I was out cold. Thanks to sleeping on the way into the city, I didn’t have to over think the weekend. We got to the hotel with no major issues thankfully…not like I had to worry about it. Lol. 

When we pull up, Matteo’s already outside waiting for our arrival. I stumbled out of the car as I didn’t have good footing, Matteo caught me and steadied me and then he helped me get my bags out of my friend’s car. I gave my friend a hug, thanked him and wished him a good night….he and his wife were staying with friends who live in the city. 

Matteo and I go inside the hotel, get into the elevator and go to the 10th floor to a “loft suite”. It was a great room; a huge bed and a mini kitchen with a mini fridge, and and a private balcony; the bathroom had a shower, and a stand alone tub. I turn to Matteo as I hear him unzip my small suitcase; he took out a casual dress that I packed to make sure that it didn’t have any wrinkles. He hung up the dress, put the bag in the closet and walked over to me. 

He’d placed his hand gently on my face, leaned down and kissed me so gently. I leaned towards him as I kissed him back; he kissed me even deeper and pulled me close to him. He slides his hands under my shirt to reach for my breasts and I moan. We start taking our clothes off and make our way to the bed. 

We get on the bed quickly, kissing and our hands exploring each other’s body. I get into a comfortable position and Matteo slides his penis in my ready apex. He moans my name. He starts thrusting in and out of me gently - he started to suck and squeeze my breasts which made me moan, he started thrusting harder and faster...he rolls us over so I’m on top. 

I take my time riding his penis and he loves it. As I’m sliding up and down his penis, I get closer and closer to climaxing. He rolls us back over to him being on top and within a few strokes, we climax together. We lay in each other's arms until we catch our breaths. I get up to take a shower. I get dressed in the dress that I brought and hunted for my stilettoes as I am painfully short. As Matteo is getting dressed, I fix my hair and do my makeup; I put some heat protectant spray in my hair so I could blow dry and straighten my hair. The last thing I do is put on red lipstick. 

Matteo is impressed with how I look; since we met in/at college and have hung out at his uncle's, he's usually seen me in jeans, tees, sweatpants/sweatshirts, shorts, etc. He leaned down and kissed me gently as he didn't want to smear my lipstick. I had to laugh a little when we stopped kissing - he'd managed to get a little of my lipstick on his lips. I get a tissue to wipe off the lipstick and as I did so, he moaned. I stepped away so we wouldn't end up in bed again and I fetched a really large scarf that I use as a shawl as well as my mini purse (it has just enough space just for my wallet, my asthma inhaler, my phone, one skinny phone charger and a charging cord). Once I was ready, we took the elevator down.

We got out of the elevator and walked outside....I didn't realize how cold it would be that night. Oh well. Matteo will warm me up later. A limo pulls up, the driver gets out and asks if we're the party for Deppgrl and Matteo; we say that we are. Matteo opens the back door so I could get in, he walks behind the limo and gets in from the street side. The driver asked us where we're going; of course, I have zero clue but Matteo tells the driver to head to this one famous Italian restaurant. My eyes get big and I turn my head to look at him. He asked me what the face was for and I told him that one of my favorite tv series sometimes has scenes filmed there. He laughed hard, saying that he knows that I love Italian food and love the tv show that sometimes gets filmed there.

I get a little confused and ask him how he knows so much about me as we never had these conversations and I asked if he ever stalked me. He looked at me like had 2 heads, laughed and said no but he’s talked to my family and friends to find out more about me. I looked at him rather seriously, put my hand on his arm and tell him that in the future he better talk with me about me. He looked a little upset but understood and apologized to me. I thanked him and I told him that we’re not going to let it ruin our weekend. He said ok and kissed me.

We  finally got to the restaurant after dealing with Friday night traffic; we were 35 minutes late for our reservation, they upheld our reservation and they took us in to the table Matteo had requested. The table was in the corner by the window - to  which I find out is a 6 month wait for that specific table - it made my heart warm to know that he was able to get the table and also in less than a week’s time.

It took no time for us to order our drinks, appetizers and entrees. I ordered a martini and he had a beer. Not long after we got our drinks, our cold antipasto and clams casino arrive. As we’re eating and drinking, our server brings out more drinks for us; I was surprised but I guess Matteo had arranged that we’d have our drinks come out as we were finished with the previous one. After our plates were cleared, our entrees came out; I ordered the homemade gnocchi with Bolognese sauce and he had filet mignon in a white wine sauce with mushrooms. Our food was SO DAMN GOOD! 

As we ordered dessert (chocolate mousse for me and caramel custard for him) and we ordered two entrees to go (homemade cheese ravioli parm for me and lasagna for him). We ended up sharing each other’s dessert, finishing our drinks. The owner came over with our packed second entrees as well as two 8 ounce glasses with 4 ounces of limoncello - an Italian digestif. I look at Matteo and he looked as confused as I did. The owner explained that he loves hosting young lovers because it reminds him of he and his wife when they were younger. We thanked him very much. When he left, our server came over with the check and I reached over to see the total and chip in; Matteo snagged the check out of my hands and gave his credit card to the server. I look at him weird and he said that he’s spoiling me this weekend. I sigh a big sigh and let it go. 

We head outside to wait for the limo and thankfully it wasn’t a long wait as it was incredibly cold. As usual, Matteo held my hand as I got in and he walked around to get in from the other side. I’m still shivering so he slid over to sit next to me and held me in his arms. I look up at him and smile, he leans down and kisses me deeply. The driver hits a button so the divider goes up. Matteo takes no time to slide the skirt part of my dress up and he’s surprised that I’m not wearing any panties. He leans down to my apex, beginning to lick and suck my apex. I squirm as he’s taking care of my apex. The limo stops not long afterwards and we get our clothes adjusted. Matteo hops out and walks around to help me get out of the limo. We both thank the driver as we head inside the hotel.

We dash into the hotel, hop in the elevator and head to our glorious room. We hurriedly get undressed - Matteo makes sure that I hang up my dress - and we make a mad dash to the bed. In no time, we’re under the blankets…kissing and our hands explore the body of the other. I roll onto my back, Matteo gets aligned to my apex and slides right in. I start to moan his name, asking him to thrust in me a little harder. He smiles, kisses me and begins to thrust harder in me.

In no time, we’re climaxing together…he bites the base of my neck so he doesn’t scream my name. His biting my neck turns me on; he’s still in me so I roll us over so I start sliding up and down his still hard penis. Matteo sits up so he can suck and squeeze my breasts. I can’t help but moan his name and start riding his penis faster. Seconds later we climax together again. 

I slide off of him and roll over to face him. He brushes hair off of my my face, he leaned in and kissed me deeply. We spent the next few hours making love and fall asleep for a little bit. When we woke up, we ate a little bit of the entrees we brought back with us. We go back to bed for a couple of hours. 

We wake up around 7 am, finish the entrees for breakfast and get ready for the day. I’m surprised that with how little I slept as I was up early on a Saturday! We took an hour long walk before we head back to the hotel’s parking garage so Matteo can take me to our home state for about an hour or so; I’d forgotten that I signed up to donate blood and I couldn’t cancel because I knew that my blood would help 3 people! 

We arrive -  it’s quick because I read, filled out and signed the forms the day before, I go through the screening, plop down on a bed like thing and in seconds I was hooked up. Found out that my blood was going 60 something per unit and it’s usually 50 something per unit (can’t remember what the “something” was as I was trying to get done quickly). About 10 minutes after being hooked up, I was done and went to the ‘canteen’ for 10 minutes to have some juice and cookies. I said that I’m good and I have someone driving me; the staff said ok and thanked me. I got out of the bus and Matteo was there with a can of soda and a box of my favorite cookies; I had to laugh.

We get in his car, I chug the soda and eat a handful of cookies. I fall asleep minutes afterwards and I wake up when we pulled into a spot at the hotel’s parking garage. We go to the room so I can brush my teeth and then we head back out. We walked all over and stopped at a food vendor on the street to get me ‘real’ food and a huge bottle of water. 

We stop at a few stores to look around and we ended up getting me a backpack so I can store whatever we bought in the bag as my normal sized purse isn’t big enough. We stop at a few museums but due to Covid, they had limited hours and you had to reserve your tickets for a specific time. Shame that we didn’t bother to look up info on the museums before we got there. 

So we stopped at a theater to catch a movie - it was one of those theaters that you can order food, soda and alcohol from your seat - it was a cute movie. I forgot to tell Matteo that I wasn’t supposed to drink alcohol until later in the day as my inner elbow might bleed after the booze and blood donation. Oh well. I got a little tipsy right away but I sucked it up and had the drinks that were ordered for me. 

After the movie ended, we walked around more in the city just to explore. We decided that we’d allow ourselves to get lost on purpose to make the day more fun and it worked. For those who don’t know me, I’m pretty directionally impaired BUT I’m not as bad as my sister!! 

After a few hours we got hungry so Matteo orders an Über to take us to a restaurant that he’d been to before. He asked if I liked food from a specific country in the Europe/Eurasian region; I said that I didn’t care for the food that much in that region but willing to go to a restaurant near where he planned for us to go. He knew of a Mexican restaurant a few doors down from where he planned for us to have dinner and I fully agreed with him on the Mexican food. 

We get there and both of our stomachs are growling. We get a table in the quieter section and our server comes over immediately. After he greeted us, in my Spanglish I ask him if he could please bring a pitcher of ice water over with the chips, salsa and guac. He was impressed that someone as white as I am is ok in Spanish; I giggled and told him that when I worked for brother, he had a ton of Hispanics/Latinos on staff that taught me.

A few minutes later we received the water, the chips, guac and salsa but he also brought over a plate of beans and rice. We thanked him and then we ordered carne asada, tacos, chimichangas, burritos and empanadas as well as two pitchers of their sangria. 

We had just finished up with our appetizers when the rest of the food and the two pitchers of sangria came; one was made with white wine and the other was made with red wine. I immediately grab the sangria with white wine and poured some in my 16 oz glass. Matteo laughed saying that was fine because he prefers red wine.

We split everything - not quite evenly - as I had most of the carne asada. The rest we did split fairly evenly. We couldn’t finish everything so we had it wrapped up and a few more things added so we could bring back to the hotel. Once the food came back, we ordered two orders of churros to eat in the restaurant and another two orders to go and we asked for another pitcher of sangria to go with our dessert. The server nodded and got the sangria out to us right away; thankfully it was made with white wine. Just a few minutes later, the orders of the churros came out - the churros were SO good that we scarfed the orders that were on the plate and we wanted to eat the other orders right away. 

The sangria got to us even though we ate plenty and had plenty of water. We eventually got the check but before Matteo looked at it, he gave the server his credit card. In minutes, the server came back with the credit card slip to be signed, Matteo’s credit card, two to-go cups with horchata (so yummy) and two more bags of food. We thanked him and he said the extra food and the horchatas were on the house so we weren’t charged for it. 

Matteo ordered an Über while I went to the bathroom and when I returned, the car was there waiting for us. We packed up, got into the car and headed to the hotel; on the way back to the hotel, I fell asleep in Matteo’s arms. When we got to the hotel, Matteo had to wake me up with a firm shake. I said “Yes, sexy!”. We grab the bags of food, our stuff and we get out of the car.

We make it up to the room by 9:30 pm. I get undressed, take a quick shower to get the city off of me, take out my contacts and get into bed. After Matteo put the food in the fridge, took a shower, brought the horchatas with him and joined me in bed. Both of us finished the horchata quickly and then I curled up in Matteo’s arms to fall asleep for a little bit.

About 30 minutes later, I wake up to Matteo stroking my hard nipples. I moan, flip onto my back and spread my legs for him. In no time he’s between my legs, thrusting his penis in and out of my apex. I reach up to rest my hands on his chest and he immediately got more turned on; he started thrusting in and out of me like there was no tomorrow…he didn’t let up one bit until we both climaxed together…he took his time shooting his essence in my apex.

While still inside of me, he rolls himself over so now we’re both on our sides, facing each other. He brushes my hair back and tells me the second time in the same week how much he loves me. He started to kiss me, stroking my apex and I kissed him right back but I pulled away after a few minutes. Matteo asked me what was wrong.

I said that I really do appreciate this weekend and that he was taking care of paying for EVERYTHING but I explained that I was feeling a bit used. He asked me in what ways so I told him that I feel like that he feels like because he's paying for everything that I need to spread my legs for him to "pay" him back. He asked if that's how I truly felt. I told him yes and told him again that I appreciate literally everything that he's done so far and what he's got planned for Sunday. He got up, called the front desk to request a new room; something significantly smaller as he needs a room to himself for the night and they oblige. He packs his stuff and goes down to get the keys. 

Ugh. I knew that I had made him mad but it wasn't my intention. I look at my phone screen to see what time it is. It's 3 am; check out is in 6 hours and my alarm is set for 7 am. I wished that I could get a little bit of sleep between now and 7 am but I felt bad that I made Matteo upset with me. I feel that it's important to share what you're feeling and thinking with someone that you may or may not begin a relationship with. I get out of bed and walk around the room to help clear my mind a bit. After a few minutes I go back to bed and I instantly fall asleep....I wake up a few minutes before my alarm goes off.

I get up, hop in the shower, then get dressed and grab everything of mine and stuff it in my bag. I take a look around to see if Matteo or I left anything and thankfully neither one of us did. I was halfway out of the door when I realized that I'd forgotten to take the food from the fridge! I grab my stuff and bring it back into the room with me and close the door behind me; I am a single woman and the last thing I need is to be harmed in anyway. 

As I'm grabbing the food out of the fridge I hear some loud pounding and some yelling. I am nervous so I slowly go to the door to look out of the peep hole; I don't see anyone but a shadow so I thought that I would wait it out for a few minutes before I'd call the front desk. I stand there kinda close to the door. I hear the pounding again and this time I recognize Matteo yelling my name. I open the door all the way and ask him what the hell he's doing by scaring me to death. He apologized profusely for scaring me; he said that he didn't see me in the lobby and thought that I was still asleep. I told him that he could've called me or texted me to see where I was; he agreed with me on that and said that I make a great point. I laughed because it was the first time in a long ass time that a man actually agreed with me. 

We head to his car to place our overnight bags in the trunk of his car and the food in a cooler with ice that he picked up before coming up to my room; he asks me where I want to go. I tell him that the ferry in this city is very famous, I'd never been on it and I'd like to give it a go. He smiled and said ok. We walked a few blocks to get to the ferry. The ferry is typically just for commuters and their vehicles but since we didn't have a vehicle with us, they let us on for free. While we were on the ferry and checking out the views, I'd realized that I forgot to take my birth control Saturday morning as well as that morning. I step away from Matteo and explain that my bff is calling and I wanted to take the call privately/separate from him. He nodded.

I walked away with my phone to my ear. As soon as I turned the corner, I put my phone in my pocket, grabbed my birth control to take 2 pills as well as an emergency contraceptive.....it's not that I don't want children it's just that I don't want to have children with him. I take the pills dry as I forgot that Matteo has a bottle of water for me. It was gross to take the pills without water as the pills dissolved a little bit in my mouth so I popped a mild breath mint (yes, I DID brush my teeth but I didn't want to taste of the pills in my mouth). Once I was all set, I went back to Matteo; he asked how everything was with my friend and I said that everything was ok. He smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me; I welcomed the kiss and kissed him back with everything I had.

After this kiss, Matteo pulled away and said that he wanted to explain his behavior from MUCH MUCH earlier in the morning. I nodded my head as an indication that he could proceed. He took a big breath and explained that yes, he did pay for everything so far this weekend because he knew that I hadn't worked much and money was tight, he felt bad that Vince was one of the number of jerks that had cheated on me and that he wanted to remind me that "real" men (like himself) don't cheat on whomever they're dating, they take care of whomever they're dating (or friends with) and that I deserved to be shown the world. He also said that he's sorry for making me feel that I owed him sex because he payed for everything and that he should've said something on Wednesday when he called me or when I met him at the hotel on Friday. He apologized for that and storming out at the ass crack of pre-dawn - he said that he couldn't give any excuses for his behavior.

I pull Matteo closer to me so I could kiss him deeply. I pulled a little too hard because his body was flush with mine and I could feel his penis hardening. He then remembered that he had a friend who lived in the city but was out of town for another day for work and that he had a key to the apartment. We get off the ferry sooner than either of us wanted to and he'd called his friend to let him know that we were heading to the friend's apartment; the friend said that it was fine and not to make a mess.....Matteo laughed and said that we don't make messes. The friend laughed hysterically and told us to have fun. As they hang up the phone, our Über arrived and dashed us off to the friend's apartment. We ran to the elevator, wished the elevator moved faster and finally got to the apartment. The door had just slammed shut as we were ripping our clothes off.

In no time at all, we were in the spare bedroom and on the bed, kissing and exploring each other's body with our hands. Matteo checked to see if my apex was wet and as soon as he knew, he spread my legs and started thrusting his penis in me. Seconds later, we climax together....still entwined with the other and he was still inside of me. I fall asleep for what felt like a few minutes and Matteo wakes me up by thrusting his penis in my tight ass He said he wanted to make love at least once more this weekend and now was when he saw his opportunity. I smiled, rolled over to my back and spread my legs and he enters me slowly...painfully slow!

He takes his sweet time, kissing me and exploring my body with his hands...he made sure that I enjoy myself as well. We eventually climaxed together, moaning each other's name. Matteo rolled to his side and I rolled to face him. He kissed me again and I welcomed it. I was ready to reach down and stroke his penis but he pulled away to look at the time. He said that it was close to 3 pm and he wanted to get home so he could finish his lesson plans for the week. We got dressed and I decided to throw the sheets in the washer but didn’t start it; Matteo texted his friend saying that I was trying to be a good guest by cleaning up.

We booked it back to the hotel to get Matteo's car. It was sad to leave as we both wanted to stay longer but we knew that it'd be better to be responsible so Matteo could keep his job and for me to continue looking for work. As we got on the road, Matteo shared that he wanted to keep the weekend going because he loved spending time with me and getting to know me...he rested his hand on my leg and I fell asleep on the way back to my house. 

He squeezed my knee gently to wake me up. I woke up and turned to him, he tells me how beautiful I am when I am asleep. I turned beet red....he doesn't know that I don't take compliments well but I thank him. We get out of the car, I gather my purse and its contents as he is struggling to get my bag out of the trunk. Once my bag is out, he grabs the cooler and helps me bring everything into the house. My parents say a brief hello and then they go back into the living room to give he and I space. We split all the left over food and he puts his back in the cooler. I walk him to the front door and we step outside for a little privacy. 

I hug Matteo and thank him profusely. He said that he was more than happy to treat me to a romantic weekend away, said that I deserved more romantic weekends away as I am an amazing woman and that any man would be lucky to be with me. I turned beet red again and thanked him. He leaned down to kiss me and I let him kiss me. I knew that my parents were watching through the window of the front doors but neither one of us said anything when we saw them looking at. I rolled my eyes at them and let Matteo leave. As he was walking away, I asked him to let me know when he got home safely. 

I go inside. My mom reminds me what she told me the week before - that Matteo and I would be dating - thinking that she out did me. I laughed rather hard, telling her that we're still NOT dating but just two consenting adults to a weekend away, enjoying ourselves and getting to know each other better. I could tell that my parents were disappointed in me that I was having sex with a male friend instead of a dating/marriage relationship (I was raised in a very Christian home) but they didn't say anything because they'd know that I'd tell them "My body...my choice!" and they know that it's true.  Not too long afterwards, I receive a text from Matteo that he is home safe and sound; I thanked him and let him go so he could get ready for work. 

I head upstairs with my bag to throw some of my clothes in my laundry basket and spent some time alone. I did end up napping for a bit before dinner. I changed into my sweats and brought down my laundry basket. I was really happy that Matteo took me for the weekend and he's 100% right that I do deserve weekends like that more often; I don't mind if it's with him again or someone that I am actually dating. 

He is right about another thing that he mentioned the weekend before when we went to the winery, the massage parlor and the jewelry store.....it's now in my head and my heart that I am beginning to like him in a different way. No, it's not because he's spending a TON of money on me but rather due to him doing what he says he's going to do, treats me with respect, him wanting to take care of me (like when I am getting in and out of a car or like when we have sex/make love) and seeing how much he cares for me. Personally, I don't want to say that he loves me because I don't know the full extent of how much he cares for me.

I finished up my laundry, grabbed my water and went upstairs for the night. I fell asleep thinking of the weekend and the amount of fun we had. I did miss being in his arms as we slept but I'd get over it until we go somewhere overnight.

Trying to move on

Since leaving Vince at the ass crack of dawn on Sunday, our mutual friends have told me how miserable Vince has been. I figured that it served him right as he now knows that he should've waited for me and I also hoped that he truly does work things out with his wife; not for him to be unhappy but for them to be happy together. As heart broken as I am, I know that moving on from him is the best move even though he's my soul mate; if he hadn't cheated but stayed faithful instead, I would've had as many children as he wanted. But c'est la vie. 

I had come back to my parents' Sunday to spend the night with them. They knew that Vince and I broke up towards the end of the summer and that he royally fucked up; they also knew that I'd just spent the weekend with him....they even know that he's married. They didn't say anything at all when I walked in. They just hugged me. My mom took what few dirty clothes I had and did my laundry while I went to bed for a few hours. I eventually woke up around noon, showered, got dressed and came down.

I had lunch and said that I was going over to our neighbor Brick's for a few minutes to see if he needed a hand with anything (I've been cooking and baking for him as his arthritis has been acting up; he's told me a number of times that if he were younger, he would marry me…. I always thought he was joking). His nephew was also over hanging out. We bull shitted for a bit and when Brick had stepped out of the room, Matteo asked if I was available on Monday to hook up and I said that I was free; we agreed on the time as Brick was coming back.....Brick was still a little upset that I ended the physical part of our relationship and he has stated in the past that he'd be jealous if he knew that I was hooking up with his nephew - although he didn't mind nor care in the past.

When I entered through the garage, my mom was looking a bit thrilled with herself. I didn't ask nor did I want to know. She said that Matteo got her number from Brick and that he, Matteo, had texted her (while he and I were figuring what time to meet up) that he had invited me over for Monday. It was rather obvious that Matteo didn't explain to her exactly WHY I was spending time with him; she knew that we were on friendly terms in college. She thought that I was going to start dating Matteo by the end of Monday. Unfortunately, I broke her heart then and there, explaining that despite him being rather attractive and smart, he was too much of a sports fan to talk of anything else other than sports and that was a major turn off for me. She was a little saddened by this but she accepted it....thankfully.

I took the dogs to the park in the afternoon for a walk to help clear my head and think about Vince's and I's activity over the weekend. Vince probably had thought that I was giving hope about a relationship with me in the future but by then - and after reading the letter - that he knew that I was there to get my jollies and to get full closure of our relationship. I realized during the walk that I was going to be hurt for awhile before I could fully move on but in the same time, the time alone to give me time to reflect, heal and grow....and if I wanted to, I'd enjoy myself in the company of a man that I trusted and respected and who had trust and respect for me as well.

By the time that the dogs and I got home, all of the dogs were all tuckered out; I had to wake them up when I pulled into the garage. They climbed out one by one, went up the few stairs leading from the garage to the house, and went to the water bowl where they drank. I ended up having to fill their bowl twice more. They then went to their beds (spoiled rotten doggos! LOL!!) and before I laid down for the rest of the afternoon, I washed their bowl out and filled it with fresh water for when they woke up.

Since I had my nicer version of my causal clothes at my parents' house, I raided my closet to figure out what I was going to wear to Matteo's; I knew food would be involved either by take out or dining in at a restaurant. It took me about 45 minutes; chose a smaller fitting bra, low cut shirt, jeans and leather knee high boots. After coming down after picking out my clothes for the next day, my parents and I had dinner, watched some TV and I went back upstairs and went to bed not much longer after coming up. I needed to catch up on some well needed sleep so I could be ready for Matteo. Thankfully, I slept like a log.

I woke up feeling rested and was looking forward to the day. As I was about to hop into the shower, Matteo called to ask if I could come over earlier as he has a few added plans for us and I said sure; he gave me the newer time to arrive. That changed my outfit a little bit for the day. Instead of wearing cute panties, I was going to wear a thong instead. I showered, got dressed, grabbed my charging cord & base as well as my travel chargers, my phone and my purse. My mom was beaming and said that Matteo asked for her permission to have me come over earlier - he even told her that despite me being of age, he wanted to show that he has respect for me as well as my family. I rolled my eyes....I knew that he was buttering her up to like him so she wouldn't find out what the real reason why were meeting up.

I ate and as I was grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge, Matteo called me and asked me to look outside. Once I did - and he saw me - he waved from the outside of a limo. I screeched and hung up on him. My mom came rushing over to see the limo and she gave me the head's up that he was walking to the door. He rang the doorbell and I opened the door; Mom was trying to look discreet by sitting on the couch in the living room. He came over, shook her hand and said that he was going to borrow me for most of the day. She smiled and said ok. I grabbed my keys out of my purse so I could lock the door on our way out. 

When we got to the limo, Matteo opened the door for me and held his hand out to help me get inside.....he knows me and my clumsy fat ass a little too well. I get in, he closes the door, walks around and gets in. He asks the driver to head to the first destination; a winery. I turned to him in shock and he smiled. He leaned over to kiss me and told me that I deserve it. I turn a million shades of red and thank him. It doesn't take long for us to get there and when we did, Matteo hopped out of the car to open the door and help me out. He said to leave my purse in the back and just to grab my phone and that's all I needed. I nodded and did as he suggested, taking his hand to get out of the limo. 

As I was out of the limo, I went to let go of Matteo's hand but he had a firm grip on my hand; I looked up at him with confusion on my face. He smiled, leaned down and kissed me again but this time on my mouth. Again I was shocked and inadvertently opened my mouth. He took this as an opportunity to kiss me deeper. I moaned, leaned into him and kissed him back; he, unfortunately, pulled away and said that there was time for more of that later and gave me a devilish smile. Still holding onto my hand, he led me into where we'd have our wine tasting. The entire room was covered with carnations and roses; two of my favorite flowers. The flowers were later sent to my parents' so they could go in water and stay fresh until I brought them back to my place.

"Matteo," I said. "What is this? Is this all for me?"

"Yes, baby," Matteo said. "This is all for you. I've wanted to share this with you for a long time but I knew that at one point you were in a serious relationship with someone and you had to end the relationship. I know that you're not ready for this nor me to tell you how much I care about you. This day is for you, babe."

I went into Matteo's arms and hugged him; his cologne was amazing. I pulled my head from his chest to thank him but I couldn't say anything at all as I was in awe of his surprise for me. He brushed some of my hair off of my face, kissed me and then led me to the wine. I knew that this is far from how he wanted to spend the day - as I know that he'd rather watch some sports and then spend the rest of the day in bed with me having sex. He did have fun though and enjoyed watching me ask the staff many questions and taste so much wine; he wasn't too far from me physically at all. 

At the conclusion of the wine tasting, Matteo led me back to the limo and said that he has another surprise or two for me that afternoon before we head to his place. I said ok and didn't ask any questions. We got into the limo and as we were headed to the next destination, Matteo slid me from where I was sitting on the other side of the limo to right next to him; he wrapped his arm around me knowing that I loved being held tight. 

We got to a high end massage place; the kind that you need to book appointments 6 moths to a year in advanced. I asked him how he got me in so fast. He corrected me by saying "us" and he said that a family member of his was the manager and helped him set this up. We were greeted and led into a room in the back. We went into our allocated room where we were greeted by two masseuses; both male. I raised my eye and he told me that it's ok; my glorious ass would be covered as would be my breasts. I said that I didn't care about that as much as I was worried about him being jealous or upset another man was touching me in front of him. Matteo reminded me that this man was a professional and wouldn't be inappropriate. I nodded and laughed.

Once the masseuses left, we got undressed, folding our clothes and climbed on the tables face down. Our tables were about a foot away from each other and he reached over to grab my hand. The masseuses came back in; they placed a towel on my backside as well as Matteo's glorious backside. The massages were wonderful and I'd fallen asleep during mine. After the massages, we got dressed and we were led through a few hallways and brought to this beautiful room that served as a "tea room". Matteo had already preordered for us; the cookies and the tea were wonderful. I couldn't stop thanking him enough for treating me. He said that he has one more trip before we get to his place. I couldn't believe it.

We got back into the limo and this time I slid next to him so he could have me wrapped under one of his arms. I'd fallen asleep in his arms and didn't realize we got to the last surprise before getting to his condo. Matteo wakes me up and we get out of the limo. We were at a famous jewelry store. I looked at Matteo.

"Matteo," I said. "Thought you were going to let me take my time to heal and move on? If you ask me now, you know what my answer is going to be."

"Babe," Matteo replied. "It's not what you think it is. Do I want to marry you? Fuck yes but you take all the time you need to. I know you've known him for over 20 years and he broke your heart. I want you to take care of you. I'll always, always be here for you no matter what. We're here because I want you to pick out a piece of jewelry that YOU like and want; the price doesn't matter."

I nodded and he let go of my hand. He gave me my space to look while he was talking to the staff. I loved everything that I looked at and tried on. Today was all too much; the wine tasting, the massage and now expensive jewelry. It took me an hour to go through the store and I made my decision. I walk back over to Matteo and let him know that I've made up my mind.

"What have you decided, Babe? What would you like from this store?" Matteo asked.

"You. Out of this entire store, I want you from this store. Everything here is gorgeous and any woman would be lucky to have a piece. I appreciate you spoiling me today and taking care of me. What I'd like to do is go to your condo," I said. 

Ok," Matteo said. "Let's go!"

As he took my hand and we were on our way to the limo, I saw him slide a beautifully wrapped box in his pocket. He didn't look mad or happy and that made me worried. He - obviously - spent a ton of time and money to plan the day to spoil me and I feel like I made him regret his decision. He helps me get in the limo, he climbs in and he asks the driver to take us home. The driver nods and heads to Matteo's.  I fall asleep where I sat in the limo and didn't wake when we got to his place. I don't remember getting carried up nor getting undressed but I woke up in Matteo's bed....naked....with him naked right next to gazing at me.

Matteo realizes I am awake and offers me some privacy; he gets up, puts on his robe and heads to the kitchen. I get up, shower, brush my teeth and grab one of his shirts to wear. I walk towards the kitchen and see him on his patio drinking coffee. He hears me, looks over and smiles at me. He gets up from his chair walks over to me, puts his coffee down and leans down to kiss me. I return the kiss as I pull him closer. I feel his erect penis against my body. I pull away, grab his hand and tell him to follow me.

On the way back to his room, I take off his shirt and he takes his robe off; leaving both on the floor. I get on the bed, in the center, and invite him up. He asks me if this is truly I want to do - on my own free will - I told him that I want to be with him right now because I want to be with someone who cares about me. He knows about how I spent my weekend and he didn’t care. He asked if I had stayed on my birth control faithfully and I said yes. He gets on the bed, sitting at my feet, stroking himself and asking me again if I want this. I spread my legs for him and tell him that I want this more than anything right now. 

He smiled and got himself situated between my legs. I look at his penis, I look at him and tell him that I am ready. He slides right in and we both moan. He looks at me to see if I'm ok. I nod my head yes and he starts thrusting in my wet apex. With each thrust, I moan his name. I flip us over so that I am now on top and riding him; he loves it. Matteo grabs my hips before I slide up and down his penis any faster. He lets go of my hips and grab my breasts. He sits up as I'm sliding up and down his penis and he starts sucking one of my nipples. I moan. 

He flips us over and slows down. 

"Yes, baby," Matteo said mid thrust. "You feel amazing, Deppgrl! Yesssssss, baby. I am so close!"

"Matteo," I moan and spread my legs further apart. "Yessss, baby. So am I."

A few more thrusts.

"Yesss, baby," we both moan together as we climax at the same time. We don't move but catch our breath. I can still feel Matteo's essence shoot into me. I bite my lip. Now he knows. Matteo starts to thrust to finish spilling his essence into me. In a few thrusts, he knows he's finished.

He slides out of me and rolls us to our sides. He holds me close to him. I twist my torso a little so I can kiss him; he opens his mouth and lets me in. He matches me kiss for kiss. I reach down to start stroking his penis and in no time, he's hard again. He tells me to put my face down and my ass up. I giggle when he says ass. I do as he says. He spreads my legs a little farther apart and slides his penis into my apex again. He thrusts harder and faster, moaning my name. I wiggle my ass a little bit but its hard as he's thrusting deep inside of me. He ignored it so I did it again.

"Fuck," he said. "Wiggle that ass of yours one more time, baby..."

"What?" I said as I wiggle my ass again and giggling. "Do this? Wiggle my ass? Do you hate it?" 

"I love it," he groaned. "You're killing me, smalls!"

He pulls out, I hear him spit into his hand, wipes the spit on my back door and spreads my legs even further apart. He slides into my ass....for the first time ever.

"Fuck," he screams my name as he's thrusting. "Your ass is so tight, baby! I can't take it. Fuck."

He thrusts a few more times before he climaxes and shoots his essence in me. When he's done, he pulls out and pulls me closer to him. He rolls me to my side so my back is leaning against his chest. He puts one arm around me. Within seconds, his breathing has slowed down and he's fallen asleep. I wait another minute to make sure that he's sound asleep before I get up.

Yep. He's out cold. I get up gently, go to the bathroom and then head to the kitchen to get some water. As I am heading back to his room, I see the box he'd slid into his pocket earlier has fallen out of his pants. I place the glass of water down and I go pick up the box. It's still wrapped. I am tempted to open it to look at it and wrap it back up and then pretend that I didn't see it.

"I was going to give that to you later," Matteo said. "I know that you're curious to know what exactly it is."

"Matteo," I said. "You surprised me. Thought you were out cold!"

"I am a light sleeper and woke up as you were climbing out of bed. I was waiting for you to return and there was only one of two things that would've prevented you from returning right away. One being the contents of that box. The other being that loser Vince texting you to beg you to take him back....that bastard doesn't deserve you."

"Yes," I said as I walked over to him to put the box in his hand. "I am curious to know what's in this box. And I don't care how many times he begs for me to come back, I won't. You owe me now that you've mentioned his name." 

Matteo winks and follows me back to bed, still holding onto the box that I am dreading. We get on the bed and we spend the next few hours making love. We're finally catching our breath when I realized that I didn't take my birth control that morning. Shit, shit, shit, shit!!!

I fly off the bed, I go to my purse and grab my birth control and an emergency contraceptive. I go back to the night stand and take the pills with my water. Matteo was looking at me funny and I explained. He looked worried for a second until I told him that I had also taken the emergency contraceptive. I went back to the bed and climbed under the covers, snuggling up to Matteo. 

He leaned back to his night stand to grab something. I realized that it was the dreaded box. As I sit up, I take the corner of the sheet to cover up. He knows that I’m nervous; he leans over and kisses me. I open my mouth and kiss him back. He moans and pulled away. 

“I wouldn’t have an opportunity to give this to you if we kept kissing,” Matteo said as he hands me the box. “I knew that you’d love it!”

I open the box and it’s a beautiful diamond ring. I looked at him with absolute confusion. 

“Baby, it’s not an engagement ring; I’d give you a bigger one. Look at inside of the band,” Matteo said. “I had the jeweler put the inscription in today.”

“‘Today is only the beginning 2/21/22’,” I read out loud. “You put our initials, too?”

I leaned over to give Matteo a kiss. He pulls away to put the ring on my right ring finger and leans in to kiss me. I wrap my hand around his neck to pull him closer. As he was kissing me, he shifted the sheets and then shifted to kneel between my legs. I reach over to start stroking his erect penis and he starts to moan my name…he’s close. I let go of him, he spreads my legs even further and slides his penis in my apex. I moan his name.

He takes it slow this time; paying attention to my curves, making sure I was pleasured first (AND thoroughly) and telling me how much he loves me. I climaxed screaming his name over and over again. He climaxed moments later and kept thrusting in me to drain himself of his essence. I tell myself that when I get home that I’ll take another emergency contraceptive.

We lay in each other’s arms for a little while. I told him how much I appreciated the day, appreciated the activities and appreciated his interest in me. I told him that I wish I could reciprocate my feelings for him right now but I needed to focus on me. He said that he understands and that he won’t pressure me at all.

I got up and got dressed because I knew he had to get ready to teach the next day. Neither one of us wanted me to leave but he’d need sleep before going back to school….he wouldn’t get any sleep if I stayed. Matteo let the driver go hours ago so we got dressed so he could drive me home. 

As he did with the limo, he held the door open for me, held his hand out to help me get in and get out of his car and held the door for me when he brought me home. I was going to head to the front door but he stopped me. He pulled me in close, kissed me with such passion and stopped; something caught his eye. We turned around to find that it was Brick and he was mad. 

No one said anything for several minutes. Brick said he wished someone told him that Matteo and I were a couple. I turned to Brick and that we weren’t but it’s a possibility; I’d left a toxic relationship with a man who cheated on me, Matteo always loved me but hadn’t said anything until today. I could tell that Brick was becoming more livid  

I stood in front of Matteo. I told Brick that there wasn’t anything but sex between he and I for a year and that it was on and off depending on what my relationship was with Vince at the time; I reminded Brick that he and I had talked about my relationship with Vince MANY times and how much I loved Vince. He nodded his head that he remembered. I told Brick that he was a good man and a good friend to me. 

Brick asked me about Matteo. I said that Matteo is very kind, quite generous person, friend and potential lover; there could be something in the future but I needed to get over the pain that my ex fiancé caused. I felt Matteo squeezing my hands. I asked the both of them not to fight over me because if they do, I’ll walk away from them both. They agreed and Brick left…he was hurt.

Matteo walked me to the front door, leaned down and kissed me. I kissed him back. He dropped to his knees, grabbed both of my hands and leaned his head on my stomach….I began to panic and think that he’s proposing to me…he knew what I’d say if he asked me now. After a couple of minutes, he looked up at me and then stood back up.

“People can have more than one soulmate, baby,” Matteo said. “I’ve felt for years that you are mine. After today, you have it in your head and also in your heart that I’m your forever soulmate. You need to heal and focus on you. Take all the time in the world; I’ll always be waiting for you and always a call away. I love you so much, baby girl, I know you love me too.”

“Matteo,” I said. “Thank you for a beautiful day and showing me the ways that you love me. You’re a generous man and a very generous lover. I’ll never ever forget today. I do admit that I care deeply about you and I hope that one that I can reciprocate your love.”

“I’ll wait for that day, my love,” Matteo said. “I have the engagement ring already; I picked it up today at the jewelry store while you were looking. It’ll be in my pocket every day until the day you tell me that you love me.”

He leaned down and kissed me. I wrapped both of my arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist and he brought me flush to his body; I felt everything from his muscles to his hardening penis. I moaned. Fuck, I wanted the man right then and there not caring it was outside where people could see. I pulled him a little closer to the house and with one hand, I massaged his penis over his jeans and in no time he climaxed. He pulled away, smiling and called me an evil, evil woman. We both laughed. 

He leaned down and kissed me on my cheek, wishing me a good night.

One final weekend

I promised myself that I wouldn't and I told myself that I knew better but I had moment of weakness.....I take that back; I had a weekend of weakness. 

Remember when I had said that I had cut Vince off from my life? Well, I didn't entirely until I snuck out of his place early Sunday morning. Yes, he's still married. Yes, I know that I am going to hell. His wife had moved out about a month ago but he didn’t share the reason nor did I ask; the less that I know about their issues, the better off I am. 

I arrived on Friday evening and he had ordered food to be delivered not long after I arrived; glad that he’d ordered Mexican…I don’t get to eat it often enough. I love it but it gives me wicked bad heartburn. We smoke a little weed and drink as we eat to help settle our nerves. It was his first time smoking weed so it kind of funny to watch; I joked that this is where we “puff puff pass”. He cracked up laughing hysterically. We ate a bit of food and put the rest of the food in the fridge and finished cleaning up. 

We watch tv as we had more drinks. He wanted to know what was going on with me and I told him that he lost that right to know the second he cheated on me; my personal life is off limits to him. He apologizes, I accept. We watch a little bit more tv as I make us more drinks and we finish watching an episode of my favorite show. He leaned over as the credits were running and kissed me. I pulled away. I knew what he wanted and this is exactly the reason why I was over for the weekend. 

I stood up, he followed suit and he walked over to me. He kissed me again and I let him. I open my mouth to let him in, wrap my one hand around his neck to pull him closer and push my body against his. He matches me kiss for kiss as his hands slide up my shirt; his hands were wandering, moving non stop. He moves to take my shirt off, sliding it over my arms and head; I unbuttoned his shirt, run my hands over his muscles and slid his shirt off. We pull away from each other, panting, looking at each other…

“Yes?” Vince asked me and I whispered back saying that I want this too. We rip off the rest of our clothes, he leads me to his bedroom, he goes to his nightstand to pull out a condom and I get on the bed. He opens the wrapper and asked me what I wanted.

“Top,” I panted. “I want to ride you, Vince. I want to ride you so you know what you’ve lost!”

He rolled the condom on, I straddled his ready….member…and slide down. We both moan; I’d forgotten he was bigger than I remembered and he felt how tight I was; he lost this wet apex forever. Vince grabs onto my hips and I ride his member like crazy. In no time, he finished and came so hard the condom broke…..I didn’t care as I’m on birth control. I could feel him shoot his essence in me. I ride him for a few more minutes so I could finish as well. 

I climb off and flop down on the bed to catch my breath, he pulls off the condom and throws it in the direction of the garbage can. He gets up to gets us both a bottle of beer…when he comes in the room, he noticed my eyes were closed and placed the bottoms of the cold beers on my nipples; it feels so good that I moan. I sit up and take the beer he offered. I take a few sips and ask if he wants to smoke a little bit more and he accepts. As I’m drinking my beer, I get my supplies, he opens the window a crack. 

I hand him a thickly rolled joint and once it’s in his mouth, I light him up and I follow suit with an even thicker joint for myself. We’re smoking, drinking and talking. In no time, I finished my joint and ended up finishing his as well. Once I’m done, I lay down on his bed; he crouched by my apex and he uses his tongue and teeth. I moan as I let him take care of my apex for a little bit; he’s ok but I’ve had better. He gets up and I start stroking his ready member; I know he’s close as he’s making THAT face. He grabs a condom from the drawer, gets on the bed, rolls on the condom and situates himself between my legs…..he’s looking up to the heavens as it appears that he’s praying to whatever god he believes in and whomever he prays to. 

He slides in, we both moan. He pulls completely out and slides in again; we moan. He pulls out one more time and slides back in; he finally begins to thrust. As he’s pounding into me and concentrating on not finishing in the first minute or two, I wrap my arms and legs around him, push off with the one elbow and flip us so I’m back on top again. This frustrates him; he pushes me off harder with his full strength. He pushed me hard enough that I hit the bed post with my back….I held my breath for a moment or so, trying to gather myself and not cry. The angle that I hit the post with my back hurt so much. He asked if I was ok and in any pain. I said that I was “fine” but I didn’t tell him the pain was significant and that it’s slowly dissipating; I knew that I would be in pain for a few days. I scoot back up to him and he holds on to me - still hard as a rock. He knew to a certain extent that I wasn’t fine.

I reach over to his member and start stroking him; I ask if he’s ready and he said he was. I lay on my back, spread my legs and he slides in; his member stretching me. His thrusting is slow and steady. As he’s thrusting, his hands wander over to my breasts; he’s squeezing, massaging and sucking….I moan in pleasure. I spread my legs a little further apart and lift my hips a few inches. He starts thrusting harder and faster as he’s squeezing my breasts tighter and tighter. In no time we climax together; he’s thrusting as he’s still shooting his essence in me. 

We lay in each other’s arms for a little bit. He slides out and notices that the second condom has broken; he asks if I’m on the pill and I said I was. He sighed with relief but I knew deep down inside of him, he still wants children with me. He detangling himself from me to get us some wine; I tell him to forget the glasses. He laughs and gets the wine. I sit up and cover myself with his sheets….not like he hasn’t seen me in all of my glory before. I decided to get more weed. When he gets back, we pass the wine back and forth and the joint between us and had small talk. 

After splitting the bottle between us and I finished the last mouthful, I hand him the wine bottle and roll to my side. He gets up and puts the bottle on the dresser; I hear his drawer open and I hear a tiny rip. I feel him get back on the bed, the sheets moving and him moving closer. He takes a second to roll the condom on before pressing his body into my back. He moves my hair from my shoulders and neck, kissing my neck and shoulders and his other hand roaming my body. He grabs my leg and gently pulls it towards him and slides right back into my apex. I’m a little sore but I don’t tell him that; I just let him enjoy my body for one of the last days he ever will. 

My apex is even tighter than normal when I have sex in this position and it squeezed Vince’s member hard enough that Vince wants more; he NEEDS more. He rolls us so I’m on my stomach and he helps me lift my hips and back off the mattress. It got a little hazy here with the amount of weed, beer and wine I had; I do remember telling him what I wanted him sexually but I don’t remember everything. Before you dear readers think he put something in the wine or the weed, impossible! He would’ve been affected by whatever he put in the alcohol and I had pre-rolled the joints hours before I arrived. And despite it being a little hazy, but I DID consent. 

I woke up a few hours later, clear headed; I got up to use the bathroom and to get a glass of water. I’d noticed on my way back to the bedroom that Vince was sleeping on an air mattress in the living room. I woke him up and told him to come back to bed with me; he tried to tell me he was happy on the air mattress but I told him that I knew better because he’s ancient. He got up, took my hand and went back into his bedroom with me. After making sure I was on the bed, he walked around to the other side, got in and pulled me close to him with both arms wrapped around me; one hand playing with my nipples and the other hand playing with my apex. 

I wake up to the sun in my face and still wrapped in Vince’s arms. I move by accident and it woke him up; he started playing with my nipples again. I moan in pleasure. We untangle from each other, I roll onto my back as he reaches for another condom but I tell him to skip it. That made his member harder and he came over to my side of the bed as fast as he could; he lined himself up with my apex and slid in slowly. He started thrusting slowly and steadily but I was moaning his name and begging him to go deeper; he started thrusting harder and faster, holding onto my breasts for dear life. The more I moaned his name, the harder he thrusted. Seconds later we climaxed together. He rolls off saying he’d get breakfast started. I got up, took my birth control pill, brushed my teeth and showered. As I was getting dressed, he came up behind me grabbing my hips, pulled me closer and nibbled my neck, placing 2 fingers in my ass. I got undressed SO fast, got back on the bed and spread my legs for him again. He laughed and joined me in bed. 

We ended up skipping both breakfast and lunch and had hours of sex instead. He had me in the bed, on the couch, the kitchen counters and table, in the shower and on his patio. Thankfully, no one lives near him to see us nor hear us. Afterwards, we showered and ate. Vince was grateful that I had decided to stay for the weekend but I did have to remind him that despite this weekend...he's still married and that after I left, we would no longer be in contact any further as the relationship is toxic. He was upset but understood. We talked more about why he cheated on two women and claimed that he loved us both until he realized that marrying his wife was a mistake.

I told him that where I stood back then and where I stand now is that I was hurt, offended, shocked and humiliated.....I felt that I was the only one and he lied to me to make me believe that I was; I'd gone through his phone many times and there wasn't anything there....no apps, no emails, no texts, no photos....nothing.  He said that he had deleted her info before getting back together with me but memorized her number and that he'd delete things before he was with me. He explained that he knew us both about the same length of time but was in a relationship with her before I turned 18, they had broken up years ago and they recently realized that they still cared for each other when he and I started back together; he wasn't sure who he'd have stronger feelings for until he married her while waiting on me to answer him when he asked me. They'd been married about 3 or 4 weeks before I gave him my answer and he learned from his mistake then; he tried to divorce her but she refused to sign the paperwork. When she found out about he and I, that's when she called me to figure out who I was and what I was to Vince.

Of course, like my previous cheating ex, Vince had denied it at that time. Now, Vince was sharing why; he claimed that he was in love with me but anxious to get married so he rushed into it with his wife thinking that I'd never answer him. By the time I did answer him, he was in too deep, tried to get out of it with her and had accidently left his phone open near her. He claims that he didn't want to hurt me even though he now realizes that he did. I grabbed my shoes, threw on my sweatshirt, grabbed my keys - which still has a spare key for Vince's place - and my phone.

I left and decided to take a walk. To a certain degree, I believed him. On the other hand, most of what he's saying feels like lies. I still care for him very much and will always love him so I am conflicted what to believe or not. The walk helped me decide what to do; I'd finish the weekend with him and leave early in the morning. When I came back, that is exactly what I told Vince I'd do.  He was clearly upset and I said that he's getting more than he deserved right then; he should feel lucky. 

I opened up a bottle of wine, took a wine glass, grabbed a book from my overnight bag, poured a glass and took the book, the glass and the bottle to the couch in the living room. I curled up on the couch and started reading. I lost track of time while reading until I realized that I finished the bottle of wine and the book was halfway finished. I got up to open another bottle and brought it over to where I was set up. I didn't see Vince while I was reading nor while getting the second bottle of wine. About thirty minutes later, he came over bringing food; he had a charcuterie board of my favorite meats and cheeses. Obviously, he was trying to butter me up and try to get me to stay in his life.

I thanked him for the food as I snacked and drank the wine. I was giving him the cold shoulder and he understands why. He brought over water so I wouldn't feel the effects of the wine in the morning. After dropping off the bottle, he kissed the top of my head. I put the bookmark in my book, looked up at him and asked him what the kiss was for. He said that he kissed my head because he felt like it and it was his way of apologizing. I stood up, walked over to him, put my hand around his neck and drew his head towards me. Once he leaned in, we started to kiss; I opened my mouth to let him in. He began to kiss me deeper then he pulls away for a second. He tells me he wants to pack up the food so I should get back to reading for the moment. 

Once I open my book, I immediately got sucked back into the story and didn't realize how much time went by when Vince came back to get me. By the time Vince returned, I’d finished off the second bottle of wine and started a third bottle. He lead me by the hand to his bedroom. This is the one time - in a long time - that he did something that showed me that he cared for me other than sex and cooking for me. Unfortunately, it was too late; far, far too late. He had candles and flower petals all over his room and he had one of my favorite lotions.

He began to kiss me and I started to undress and it didn't take me too long. I wanted to undress him but he pushed my hands aside and told me to lie down on the bed - ass down, face up -so I did. He placed some lotion in his hands and started to massage my body starting with my breasts. I knew that I was going to like this massage! As he continued along my body, this made me realize why I fell in love with him so many years ago. When he was done with my front, I turned onto my stomach. He took his time with massaging from my shoulders down to my feet. His hands felt really good and I moaned....which turned him on. When he was done, he placed a heavy blanket over me, he undressed and joined me in bed. 

We started kissing, our hands were roaming over the other's body and he rolled me onto my back. He crouched towards my apex; licking, sucking and biting, using his tongue to pleasure me. I wanted to close my legs around his head to keep him there but he needed to breathe lol. Vince came up for air, spread my legs a little wider and he slid his hard penis into my wet apex so easily and he had to stop for a second; I knew that he was close to climaxing. He started thrusting into me again, so slowly and so passionately; kissing me and my body as he was deep inside of me. One more thrust and we climaxed together. Vince didn't stop and didn't want to waste time....he knew in a few short hours I was walking away forever.

He turned me to my side, laid down behind me and entered my apex from behind; thrusting deeper with each stroke. I couldn't stop moaning his name over and over again. Each time I moaned his name, he thrust harder and deeper. He reached around with both arms, grabbed both of my breasts to squeeze and massage....he didn't stop squeezing and massaging as he was thrusting in me. 

While still thrusting in me, he flipped us over so I was on my hands and knees. Vince grabbed my hips and started to drill my apex like there was no tomorrow. I was screaming his name and he was thrusting harder and harder for what seemed like forever. We climaxed together and fell into each other's arms, panting and trying to catch our breath. After a bit, I heard his breathing slowing down, I untangled myself, gathered my clothes that were on the floor, folded them and put them on the dresser. I started to pack my stuff. I looked at the clock. It was 11 pm. I reminded myself that I have 6 more hours with him. 

In my bag, there was a bottle of warming lube. I took it out and brought it with me to the bed. I pour a little bit on my hands and start stroking him. In no time, he was awake and hard. Vince picked me up and tossed me on the bed. He sat between my legs as he sucked, squeezed and bit my breasts. Once he knew I was ready, he slid into my apex again. In a few strokes, we climaxed together again and he was ready for me minutes later.

We didn't stop making love through the rest of the night and went through many condoms; several LARGE boxes worth. By the time we were spent, it was nearly time for me to leave. I was in his arms again, watching him sleep; part of me didn't want to leave him and part of me didn't want to say good bye to him forever....but I knew that it was for the best. Once I knew he was asleep, I untangled myself from his arms for the umpteenth time and got dressed. I grabbed a letter that I wrote for Vince and left it next to him where I was sleeping. I didn't want to break his heart like he broke mine but in the letter, I did break his heart....it was as gentle as possible which is much more than he deserved. I reminded myself to take the spare key to his place of my keychain and left the key with the letter.

"Vince,

My love, my life. By now you know that I'm gone. I slipped away early this morning. I didn't want to leave it like this but I knew if I said this face to face with you, neither one of us would want to let go. We had a wonderful number of years together, our love was true at one point. I wanted to marry you with all of my heart but we both knew I wasn't ready to do so. You got scared that you'd be unmarried when you died so you married your other woman....or was I the other woman? It doesn't matter who the ‘other’ woman was anymore. 

You're married to someone else because you didn't want to wait until I was ready nor did you want to die alone. I don't blame you for being unsure if I'd be ready. I forgive you for that. I don't forgive you for betraying my love and betraying my trust for you. Even if you hadn't married your wife, I would've given you the engagement ring back and ended the relationship as I lost all trust in you. We wouldn't have survived; trust me on this.

I will always love you and I will always dwell on our good times....I will always cherish this weekend that we had. Vince, you know that it's time for me to walk away. I can't be in your life anymore. Yes, it's because you cheated on me for who knows how long, betrayed my love and betrayed my trust. It would be EXTREMELY hard for you to regain my trust to the point where I'd trust you again. There's no way that either of us would be in a relationship - with each other or with other people - where there was no trust.

Vince, I loved you then, I love you now and I’ll always love you. I won't stop loving you. It's time for me to say goodbye to you and it's time for me to move on. No matter how you feel for me now or in 5 years, please don't reach out to me again. I've got everything set up that by 12 noon today to have my phone number change, my email will change and I am moving. My loved ones and our mutual friends will not give you my personal information. My one request of you is this.....try to make things work out with your wife. I know that you feel like it's a big mistake being married to her but I know that if you work on the marriage WITH her, the marriage will work.

I love you forever, Vince.

Deppgrl"

I took my birth control and a morning after pill, gathered my things and left without looking back. I left my heart with my soul mate.

Men! Ugh!!!!!

Nothing against men in general - I swear! - but this one in particular. I want to shake him senseless!! 

Here’s some history:

We met at college 20 yrs ago (fall of 2001; I’m old so get over it!!), we liked each other but we were dating other people. We broke up with said people the summer of 2002. In that fall semester, I leave. His RA’s try to get me to stay. My RA’s try to get me to stay. I end up leaving. He and I lose contact but reconnect 6 or so years later. We date. He cheats on me (with his previous gf from literally JUST before he and I started dating); she’s pregnant….I’m also pregnant. I have an abortion. She keeps the child. He denies everything. He lies, I confront him. He starts dating a mutual friend of ours; she confirms, he denies. He says for me to plan his and my wedding. I tell her and she says that they’re married. I confront him (with screen shots!!) and he claims she’s lying  I send her screen shots of him lying. He tells her that he lent someone his computer and sent those messages and that he didn’t send them. I get confirmation from his mom that he is married to mutual friend and confront him; he, of course, denies it and I send screen shots of his denials to his mother. He now confirms everything is true.

I walk away from ex and his now wife. I hadn't talk to them for 5 years. She reaches out to me via email to say that they’re divorcing. I confront him, he denies so I send a screen shot of his messages to her. We go back and forth for about 5 months until he decides to tell me “The Truth” about everything. At this point, I don’t trust a word he says nor do I trust his soon to be ex wife. So I start talking to his family again to see what the actual EFF is going on. He’d been lying to both myself and his soon to be ex wife and she’d been lying to me AND him. I tell them - individually - to effing leave me alone until they decide to grow a pair of balls and tell me the truth. 

I block them both for a solid year. Whatever mail that they send me, I put “Return To Sender” as I wanted nothing to do with either of them. His parents were trying to pull info out of me of how I was dealing with this. I told them that I’m  more than happy to discuss anything and everything with them BUT their son! 

After that year goes by, I unblock them and they both started apologizing to me about everything (still didn’t believe him at this point!) and she apologized to me as well for calling me a liar and not believing me. She and I started working shit out and become friends. He wants to start dating me the second the ink of his signature on the divorce papers is dry. I laugh hysterically! 

Thought he went bat shit crazy! Told him “Eff no!” because he needs to learn how to be by himself and I’m NOT a rebound person. He keeps chasing me for a few years. I tell the ex wife. Clearly, she’s super upset and I ask her what’s wrong. She told me that she’s still in love with him, they’re trying to repair they’re friendship and she wants to get back together with him; that they’ve talked about this. At this point, I don’t care. I talk to him and he denies it so I call him out on it. He finally admits that they have talked about it.

I ignored him the rest of the day but the next day, I sent him a scathing email that he thinks that I’m some special kind of stupid to think that I’d believe his lies again. He returns the email apologizing to me for it and that he really wants to be with me. I forward it to the ex wife. She sends an email to the both of us (me and the lying idiot) stating that his behavior is unacceptable to both her and I, neither one of us will deal with it, he needs to take time for himself to heal, he needs to figure out which one of us he’s interested in, etc. and move on. She did mention, before ending the email, that whoever he is NOT interested in will not interfere (OR the one is NOT interested in him, will NOT interfere) with their relationship. 

We all fix our shit and become friends (again) individually and with each other, he and I get in another fight. I block him from everything, I tell her that he and I are no longer speaking. She seems THRILLED about it but whatever; she can have him. 

A year after that, he and I start talking again and try to fix shit from the fight. After a few months, I share with the ex wife that he and I are talking again, I have ZERO interest in him romantically (ew!), it would take a effing miracle to be with him again, etc. She was LIVID and sent him a ton of social media messages, emails, texts and voicemails. Apparently, after me telling her that he and I were talking again, he was denying it…of course (she asked to see the messages that he and I sent)….she said to stop his lies or she and I are both gone. He straightened up.

Fast forward to the last year or so….she shares with me her interest in him but he’s sharing with me his interest in me. I told him that I need him to back away from me romantically because those days are over - I knew that the ex wife wanted to be with him again. 

I can’t tell him about her feelings for him and I can’t tell her about his feelings for me. Not only did I promise not to share, I can’t break my promise to either not do I want to hurt either (don’t get frustrated with me as I try hard to be a good and fair person). 

And about something else? The guy that used to be my FWB is still with his gf (he seems to be über unhappy with her; but only hear this one sided so I can’t tell you guys what’s really happening) wants to meet up with me again and hook up with me. I want to meet up with him too. But we haven’t met up as of yet. He’s still with his gf; we both have been cheated on and know what it’s like so we won’t meet any time soon. 

I don’t mind being friends with either but it’s hard to dodge feelings from one and slightly difficult to not jump in my car to meet up with my friend/former FWB (out of respect for his relationship, I don’t hop in my car nor do I do/say anything to cause him to stray). 

Some shitty news

So I still haven’t been feeling better (still stressed the eff out) but have been coughing, sinus congestion, and a bit of a runny nose. My doctor and I thought it was a sinus infection – feels the same as a sinus infection – so it was treated…..after the treatment my doctor prescribed a new antibiotic. The hospital had tested me the other day when I was there but the tests came back negative.

 

I ended up getting tested again early in the day yesterday – as per my doctor’s request – and it is confirmed that I have a very mild case of the Omicron variant of Covid. There is nothing that neither the hospital nor the doctor can do. All I can do is rest, hydrate, have the air purifiers on and wear a mask when interacting with my family, and stay as busy as I can.  I will go back to the doctor in about 8 to 10 days to get tested again.

Got home much earlier today

Both tests came back negative for Covid, thankfully. The doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with me nor could he find out what caused the fever so he said that he felt it was because of the stress that I’m going through right now. After getting some prednisone to take with my antibiotic for my stupid sinus infection, the doctor signed my release forms. 

The second I got the ok to leave, I practically ran out of the hospital to my dad’s truck; he drove me to the ER last night since he didn’t want me to drive while having a fever (don’t blame him!)…..Last it week it was me driving him to the hospital after he was sleep walking and fell down the stairs; the ER doc said it was bruised ribs (he followed up with his doctor today and they think that he may have fractured a rib so he’s going for an MRI to get a better look and to see if there was any organ damage). 

I slept for most of the day - only woke up to eat and shower. Now I’m getting ready for bed…..getting too old to stay up to bring in the new year. 

In the hospital yet again

Can't sleep with all the noise; the staff, the machines. doors getting slammed and the uncomfortable IV in my arm.

I am here because of a 101* F fever. Been sick with a sinus infection and on my second round of antibiotics. I'd been doing all I could do to reduce the fever at home; alternated between a fever reducer and an anti-inflammatory, a few ice cold showers and had placed ice packs all over me when I was trying to take a nap.

Unfortunately, when I was admitted and finally saw the doctor, he didn't know if it was stress related (personal shit going on and unable to share it) or if it's Covid....I really doubt Covid as whenever I am out in public, I wear a mask (that has a filter), social distance as the public place allows (when I'm inside a building) and when in a crowded place outside....And yes, I was vaccinated. I know the vaccine (and the booster) will NOT prevent me from getting Covid but at least allowing it to be a less severe case. I was given a rapid test and a PCR test hours ago but no one has come to tell me the results of either.

Last time I saw the doctor (and ALL the nurses I've seen) that no matter what the answer is going to be, I will check myself out with or without their medical advice. I want to go home, sleep in my own bed and be ready to isolate if need be. 

Friends are always great to have

Friends, like family, are important to have. I am SO exhausted from dealing with Vince and exhausted of talking about him to my family and friends. I’m sure that they’re as tired as I am when he is mentioned and eventually discussed. 

As previously mentioned, C and I have reconciled - yet again - as friends. This time around, we aired our shit with the other, talked about it and fought a bit over it but we were able to fix our friendship; we’re able to discuss more shit than we’ve ever been before. For that, I am grateful and appreciative that we’re better friends than before and that he’s in my life again. 

I’d reached out to C the other day to see if we could meet up for drinks and an appetizer. He said yes before I could finish the question. We decided on a place that was the midpoint between our homes. He arrived a few minutes prior to me and found the most quiet table he could find….it was literally a table for 4 to 6 people and located near the kitchen; I was happy to see that he had a few drinks and a few appetizers at the table already. When C saw me, he stood up, came to me and greeted me with a bear hug. 

After we sat down and had a few shots, I explained to him that a few days ago - in further detail - about Vince coming over, his BS, me calling him out and me “officially” kicking him out of my life….I was tired of Vince, his lies and his drama….I needed him out of my life ASAP. C was thrilled that I “evicted” Vince out of my life and that I was on my way to heal. 

We’d been there for about an hour when I hear someone say my name. I look up and it’s V. Of ALL the restaurants near both C & I, we both - unknowingly - agreed on a restaurant where my former lover worked. After the past month or so that I’ve been having, V was NOT the person I wanted to see. C had noticed I’d turned as white as a ghost…..which is hard because I’m already pale as fuck; I’m neon white.

“Yo, Deppgrl….is this V?” C whispered. “Want me to get rid of him? Just say the word.”

“Yeah. It’s him,” I said. “It’s fine. I’ll talk to him; I’ll be back in a few.”

I stood up, grabbed my phone, walked over to V and gave him a hug, it was kind of a half assed hug because I was still shocked to see him. Thought that I wouldn’t see him ever again. I did notice that he looked older, he looked tired and still looked as sexy as ever; I was still drawn to him physically but I don’t leave a friend on their own to have sex with a man. Or woman.

“Deppgrl. You look beautiful as always. How are you?” V asked me. “I’m surprised to see you. Thought I’d never see you again!”

“Thanks, V. I’m fine; just here with a friend of mine to catch up. I’m shocked as fuck to see you. Didn’t realize that you work here. He and I can get our food wrapped up to go if you’d like.” I offered. “We can leave if my being here makes you feel uncomfortable. How’s the wife?”

“Stay. Sit down and relax. I’ll cook for the both of you. Please let me do this for you,” V said. “It’d be my honor to cook for you again. My wife is is here. She’s fine; we’ve had 2 more kids since you and I last saw each other. She’s helped me so much when I left your brother’s restaurant; she knows about you and I. We worked everything out though it was hard but it made our marriage that much better. Since you, I’ve had zero mistresses. My wife knows how in love with you I was, that I still love you and that I always will; she has been doing great by not showing any anger or jealousy but sometimes she unknowingly says something out of jealousy.”

“Wow,” I said. I was a bit surprised that he told her anything at all let alone telling her everything. “I’m so glad that y’all reconciled, became closer to each other and had more kids. You seem more happy than the last time we saw each other.”

V nodded his head in agreement. I knew he was curious with what’s going on with me but 1. It’s not his business 2.  I don’t need to cause his marriage any more strain. I’m more likely to AVOID this restaurant in the future now that I know he’s here……nothing against him but I don’t need to relieve the past. V and I hugged again and departed. So happy that conversation over as it was awkward and it was also rude of me to leave C alone for so long. 

“Sorry about that, C,” I said. “He wanted to catch up a little bit; he’s still married to the wife, had several more kids, she knows about he and I. Oh! He said that we’re welcome to stay as long as we want to and that he’s cooking for us. I tried to decline and he said something like it was an honor to cook for me again or something like that!”

C asked if I felt anything for V anymore; I said not so much but seeing him again it made me remember why I fell in love with him in the first place but those days are over….he’s happy with his wife and that after tonight, there’s no need for me to be in his life. C nodded. 

C and I stayed for a long while; we were eating, drinking and talking about anything and everything under the sun. V came out a few times to see how everything was; we told him that we loved everything and appreciate his cooking for us and sending out ALL this food for us. 

Eventually C and I noticed that the restaurant was closing so we paid for everything; V wanted to pay for everything but we declined but we did agree to pay a discounted rate for the food BUT we would pay the full price for the alcoholic drinks we had (alcohol sales are usually what makes the bills higher and brings in more revenue for the restaurant). Both V and the manager agreed.

When the manager came back with my card, she asked if I recognized her. I looked at her again and studied her face. I was honest with her and said that she looked familiar but I just couldn’t place her name nor how I know her; she told us her name and that she’s V’s wife.  Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck. This was embarrassing; the former mistress meeting the wife.

I opened my mouth to apologize like crazy to her but she waved her hand to signal that she didn’t want nor need the apology. Instead, she grabbed my hands to get me out of the chair and gave me the biggest and tightest bear hug. I was utterly shocked and surprised by this. Clearly, V was with the best woman ever. 

Wifey was whispering that she’s forgiven me a long time ago, she now has a better version of her husband and that she tries so incredibly hard to not be angry at me or jealous of me but sometimes it happens because it still stings on occasion. She said she has nothing but love for me - the other woman who loved her husband as much as she does - and that I helped change his life for the better.

We let go of the other and looked for the guys; they were both passed out sitting on the chairs. We giggled and went over to wake them up. V and his wife were concerned that both C and I had a very long ways to go to our homes AND because we’ve had too much to drink. I told them that earlier in the night - because C and I drank too much - I ended up booking a room at the hotel across the street and that we'd order a vehicle to drive us over. V and his wife offered to drive us there; we agreed as it was cold, windy and raining. 

It took only a few minutes to get to the hotel. They parked their car, they said that they knew the owner (a relative of theirs) and they knew the entire staff so they’d come in with us to check in to say hi to the staff. Both C and I wanted to roll our eyes but decided against it so we just followed them in.

By the time we got in and caught up with them at check in desk, I provided my ID and credit card. The gentlemen working said that since C and I are friends of V and the wife, that we’re both more than welcome to stay at any time; when we did and had our identities verified by ID, we’d automatically get upgraded to a better room and we’d only pay half the cost of a regular room. We were so shocked and so thankful, we didn’t know what to say or do. 

When we were finally able to pick up our jaws from the floor and thanked everyone, we were told that this would apply to ALL of the company’s hotels as well as the sister hotels…..world wide. Again, we were floored by the kindness of the hotel; I made a mental note to check my credit card balance in a few days to see what the final charge was. 

We said good night to V and his wife, the gentleman at the check in counter gave us toothbrushes, toothpaste, contact lens supplies, deodorant and thick, fuzzy robes for the room and phone chargers; we looked at each other, thanked him and accepted the room card from him. We took the elevator up to the 15th floor where the suites were; the room was AMAZING! It was slightly larger than my apartment, great views out of the windows and super comfortable bedding…there was even a small washer/dryer set in the room. I did notice that there was only ONE bed in the room…at least there was a couch near the bed. 

I stripped, put my stuff in the washer, put the food in the fridge, took a shower & put on the robe, took my contacts out, brushed my teeth, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and went to the bed. I climbed up, took the robe off and slid into bed. C followed my process and when he slid into the bed, I asked if he wanted to share the bed - zero hanky panky - or if he wanted me to sleep on the couch; he looked at me weird and I reminded him that he has a girlfriend. He laughed and said that they’re at the very end of their relationship so it didn’t matter that we shared the bed. 

I turned my back to him and immediately fell asleep. He went back to put our things in the small dryer before getting into bed. Sometime during the night, C rolled over and pulled me closer to him so he could be the big spoon; I fell back asleep. 

We slept until 10:30 am, showered again, brushed our teeth and got on with finishing getting ready for the day. We went down to check out. As we were leaving, we were reminded that we’ll always get a larger room - either individually or separately - in any of the company’s hotels and in any of the sister hotels world wide. We thanked the staff and headed out, walking across the street to get to our cars. 

When we got to our cars, we said good bye and promised that we’d let the other know when we got home….but I never did. When I got home, I put my clothes in a “real” washer and “real” dryer, washed my hands, took out my contacts and went to bed for a nap. 

I was woken up by a text from C letting me know he got home and asked if I had as well; I said yes. I thanked him for every from last night and we got off the phone  

Ugh. I’m weak….but am I really?

Vince called me again today asking if we could talk. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone nor in the mood to deal with him. He’d literally gotten on. Every. Damn. Nerve. Again. I caved in and invited him over; just in case I wanted to kick him out. 

We got off the phone and I called down to security to let them know that Vince was on his way over to visit me and that it’s ok. Julian - my favorite security guy - was quite surprised but thanked me for giving him and his team a heads up. I was surprised at myself because I had a moment of weakness. I knew deep down that no matter the result of the day, I’d still love Vince to a certain extent.

I heard the elevator ring as it came to my floor so I went over to my door and opened it. Vince was a little surprised that I was already at the door but immediately smiled; it was clear that not only was he happy that I agreed to meet with him but he wanted to come over to try to win me over. 

I invited him but didn’t offer him a seat nor a beverage. Didn’t want him to linger any more than he had to. 

“You’re here. What’s up? What was so damn important that you desperately needed to talk to me?” I asked him. 

“Well,” Vince began. “I wanted to talk to you face to face more in depth about everything. I promise that I did everything I could on my end to end it with Barbara; I don’t think she wanted the relationship to end as she kept coming over uninvited. It got to the point that I was in the process of filing a restraining order against her and prevent her from showing up and also prevent her from contacting me. I typically don’t leave my phone unlocked in her presence but unfortunately I did that day. I have ZERO excuses. She had come over and I had hoped that she’d finally see and understand that I didn’t want to be with her anymore and that I wanted - and still want to - to be with you.” 

“So. You had to interrupt MY peaceful day to pretty much give me excuses why you were still seeing her at the same time as you were seeing me? Like y’all couldn’t have ended at least two WEEKS before you and I got back together? Wow. What a waste of a perfect day and my time! And by the way - it does NOT take as long as you claim to get a restraining order. The court system takes information from both parties, investigates it and responds in a reasonable time.  Vince, you must think that I am some special kind of stupid to believe any of this shit. You’re trying to tell me that you’d been trying for weeks - if not, months - to get a restraining order. Sweetie. It doesn’t take that long. Depending on the information brought forth from both parties, the investigating and the judge’s decision….it typically takes a matter of a couple of days to 10 business days. According to YOU….you’d been trying for months. I call complete and utter bull shit on you, your lies and your poor excuses!”

Vince just stood there, looking dumbfounded that I actually called him out on his BS. He shrugged his shoulders. I couldn’t believe he wanted to try to convince me that his lies were the truth.

“Tell me the honest to fuck truth here, Vince. You provided me - in a nutshell - an engagement ring and agreed with me that we didn’t need to be married before you were either days away from getting married or already married to Barbara,” I said. I was expecting more lies, of course, IF he did tell then truth, I still wouldn’t believe him. 

“That is true. Everything you’ve been saying is true. I was two timing the both of you. I thought I loved the both of you and wanted keep you both. Barbara and I did get married about a week before the cottage outing with you and your friends. I told her that I was heading to a Latin American country for a long weekend by myself as I’d scheduled it in advance and I couldn’t cancel it and couldn’t get my money back - didn’t want to waste the money. Unfortunately, my marriage to her has made me miserable; I lost the true love of my life - you - and I’m stuck in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage. She knows that I don’t love her - not anymore - and she’s refusing to sign the divorce papers. Even on the off chance that she actually does sign the papers, I still don’t have you. I’ve lost you forever!” 

“No shit, Sherlock! You could’ve had a relationship with me but you thought with your penis and thought you’d get away with two timing two separate women. One - myself - you’ve lost; the other you’ll be with for a long time…..she’s not going to sign the divorce papers. Vince, I’ve lost all love and respect for you. I don’t want to talk to you any more. Lose my name, number and address. You’ve lost the chance to be a part of my life. You are not allowed to be in contact with anyone in my family again. I hope you spend a long time regretting losing me and that you consider you’re future actions,” I said. 

He promised me that he would but I don’t trust him. When he left, I called all the credit card companies, stores and my insurance company to take him off my emergency contact and had his privileges revoked. Took a bit to be taken care of but it’ll be one less thing to do. 

First person I reached out to C.

Thanksgiving & Vince

I stayed at Vince’s for a few hours for Thanksgiving before I headed home. It was a little awkward between us but we managed to make it nice for his nieces and nephews. I was offered a glass of wine but declined since I was only there for 2 hours - Vince lives like 10 minutes away from me but I still didn’t want to risk it because I pass one of the many state police barracks in my state to get home AND it was also a holiday weekend. 

He does want to meet up sometime “soon” to have lunch and discuss if we can get back together. I laughed out loud and told him that we’re NOT going to get back together because I will 100% question everything he says and does. He then asked if we could still do lunch - I said that would be impossible in the foreseeable future because he needs to sit down and seriously think about what went wrong in our relationship with his words and his actions and until he puts on his big boy undies, admits that he fucked up with TWO women - claiming that he loved us both - and apologizes to me, I’ve really got nothing to say to him. 

He was visibly upset with me holding him accountable for his actions/behavior and upset with me for keeping my boundaries. Let him be upset with me for making sure that he acts like an adult when dealing with me

Thanksgiving 2021

My family isn’t doing anything today for Thanksgiving but will over the weekend. I, weirdly enough, am going to Vince’s place for a little bit since I’d promised his nieces and nephews months ago (prior to finding out that he cheated on me). Hopefully it goes well. 

Will keep y’all posted 

Been doing ok

Taking a break from work; had bronchitis and sinus infection and thankfully recovered but work requested that I take a Covid test just in case. The test came back negative - which both my doctor and I knew it would be - and submitted it to work. Work requested that I take another week off since I was still hacking up my lungs. Thankfully they suggested that I take more time off as I went back to the doctor earlier this morning as the sinus infection came back with a vengeance. 

Went to the pharmacy after visiting the doctor the other day to pick up an antibiotic and a nasal spray (yuck!) and take my meds when I got home. I did have some soup (I only eat soup when I’m 😷). I eventually took a 3 hour nap - partially because I slept like shit the previous night and partially because of being sick. If I have the energy after dinner, I might make Jell-O. My grandparents - my mother’s parents - always made Jell-O for us when my siblings and I were sick/feeling under the weather. 

I was able to reach out to a few friends as I had more free time. It was awesome to talk with them as it had been a few weeks since we last chatted. One is pregnant again and the other one has another cancer scare again; she dealt with thyroid cancer twice before and she began to feel unwell and felt a little swelling near where she has her thyroid taken out. The one side is fine and the other side gets a re-check in March of 2022. Today is also her birthday.

Started work today to help me get back into the swing of thinks. Everyone was happy to see me and a few gave me a hug. My top 3 favorite male coworkers came over to chat with me; the one that's #1 is in IT and such a sweet man as well as hilarious, smart and overall wonderful person, the others are two are tied at #2.....they're pretty darn great people, freaking hilarious, smart,  see me as their kid sister - although we're all close in age - and look out for me. My favorite female coworker is a woman in HR - she bends over backward to help anyone who needs assistance, amazing person, total sweetheart, kind hearted and always there for everyone. I was talking with someone at work today; I explained that I knew that in reality that all the employees are great and feels like a family but to an outsider - new employee's first day or someone delivering something - would think that everyone is a bunch of close knits friends and the coworker that I was talking with agreed with me.