Seeing a former lover tonight.

I’m in my home state of New Jersey for the night. I’ll face the freezing cold to watch the playoff game between my high school and the rival “sister” school for the trophy.

A bunch of my friends are coming from all over the US for this game. It’ll be good to see them all again and go for post-game drinks…..It’s always too early for pre-game drinks.

Anyways, I’ll be seeing a former lover at the game. About 4 years after graduating high school, I began to see a former teacher of mine on a romantic level but it didn’t last long, unfortunately. There’s a 20 year age difference between he and I. When we ended, he said that he enjoyed dating me and spending time with me but I had a ton of growing up to do. Now 8 years later, I’ve done more than enough growing up. In the past few years that we’ve bumped into each other, it’s been a bit awkward and yet I still find myself attracted to him mentally and physically.

The last time I saw him was at his brother’s memorial service just over a year ago. His family saw him tense up when he saw me. I gave him my condolences, gave him a brief hug and left; it was the least I could do…..I couldn’t make him feel uncomfortable at his brother’s memorial service. A few hours after I left, he sent me a text thanking me for going and supporting him; he hadn’t expected me to go but was grateful I did. I replied saying that it was the right thing for me to do.

The following week, he called me to set up a “date” for coffee. I accepted and we met up a few days later. He just talked about his brother and I listened. We spent a good 4 hours talking and walking; we finally were comfortable with each other.

We’ve talked and texted a few times since then but tonight will be different. We’ll be seeing each other while he’s working. We really can’t be seen together while he’s working due to the fact that the school district knows we used to casually date AFTER I graduated; it won’t look good for former lovers – one a teacher and one a former student – to be together at a school function.