Wednesday, December 2, 2020

I don't like being bored

I've been feeling pretty well dealing with cancer and the treatments but I dislike being bored; I'd much prefer working but unfortunately, I am unemployed. My previous employer let me go - officially - in June due to Covid. He couldn't keep my job open for me permanently and because of being high risk - both the history of cancer and being asthmatic - he didn't want to risk having me get sick.

 Look, I get it.....it sucks. Currently, there's approximately 12,600,000 people unemployed and since I tend to think the best of people....we're all looking for jobs. Jobs in the restaurants are far and few; business is slow. Mom & Pop shops aren't hiring many people, offices are hiring but either they like my experience but want someone has more experience or because I know my (work) value and I ask for what I believe that I deserve to be paid; I go to work on time and even if I'm going to be less than 5 minutes late, I still call ahead to give a heads up, I keep to myself, don't get involved in the work drama (though it can be tempting at times), I'm a pretty quiet person so I'm not constantly chatting up my coworkers, I don't spend much time on my phone while I'm working - unless it's work related - or if I'm having lunch, I keep my personal stuff private - other than the "How's the family? How are you?" pleasantries, leave my personal stuff at the door when I arrive and leave my work stuff when I leave, give the boss a heads up when I'm done with my work for the day before I leave; you get the drift.

So, here I am; pretty much at home 95% of the time applying for jobs, I go to my oncologist when I have appointments - the same thing with my primary physician, my pulmonologist and dermatologist - pick up my groceries order (place the order from home, go to pick it up), bring it home, sanitize everything, bring everything in and put it away. I do reach out to family and friends through out the day just to chat and to see how they're doing. Once, I did see my FWB but he stopped by and we were outside 8 ft apart to catch up; a few times I went to the local park when it is slow to take a walk (as in get out of the house to someplace where it's mostly safe for me to walk). 

The boredom is the worst, besides being kept awake by wondering when I'll have a job again. There's only so many times I can reread the books I have and use KindleUnlimited - trying to not reread the books I've already read - how many series I can watch on shared accounts of Netflix and Hulu and my own Amazon Prime. Setting up Zoom with family and friends barely helps pass the time; it just makes me miss my family and friends more. There's really nothing else I can do....I'm over knitting, reading, watching tv series/movies, crossword puzzles, actual puzzles, etc.


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