Vince

It’s been a few months since we last saw each other. School started up again and he’s been busy with virtual and in school classes as well as marching band. We’ve texted and called each other almost every day; he’s busy with lesson plans and shit and I definitely don’t want to bother him constantly. When I’m the one starting a conversation, I ask how he’s doing and wish him a great day....then leave it at that. Just want him to know that I’m thinking about him. When he’s the one reaching out first, he also asks how I am and wishing I have a good day, he calls me by my favorite nickname....I’m NOT sharing it! #sorryNOTsorry 

Vince knows that I respect the time he’s teaching and writing lesson plans and won’t bother him so I usually let him continue the conversation. The less drama the man has, the better. I don’t want to come across as a nag. If I nag, no sex. Plus he’s a man...men need their space and they hate nagging. He appreciates the space. In the past, he’s shared with me that a few of his previous relationships ended because the gfs were constantly nagging him no matter what he was doing; at school, with friends, out on his motorcycle, etc. 

Even though he and I have a relationship more along the lines of a “friends with benefits”...we also maintain a real friendship where we just hang out and talk. We both feel that it’s healthy to have both type of relationships. When one of us or both of us are unavailable, we maintain the ‘normal’ friendship but when we’re both single - which is more often than being in a relationship with others - we have a good time. We definitely do something a little “special” for each other’s birthday! 😉 It’s not really wild but we cook the other one’s favorite meal, favorite wine and favorite dessert..... and a little hanky panky. 

We have a great thing going on. We’ve discussed taking our friendship and turn it into something more serious; dating. We tried it out for a few months but it was just awkward. We felt like we ALWAYS had to spend the night with the other, spend  almost every waking second with each other, etc. but that put a bit of a strain on our friendship. 

We decided to take a month break from each other - no calling/texting/emails - just to recenter ourselves as individuals. We came back stronger in our friendship; we could now say: “I love you!” to the other and know that it’s 100% platonic. Sure we kiss each other’s cheeks when we greet each other and when we say goodbye (and make out as our foreplay - among other things - before we have sex) but it doesn’t mean that we’re in love with the other...we both tell our other friends (mutual friends and our different groups of friends) that we love them so it wasn’t anything unusual for us to say it to each other or other friends. 

I do miss spending time with him but we both are being careful right now due to Covid. I’m high risk due to a chronic lung condition and history of cancer and he’s high risk because he is approximately 18 years older than me. We both get tested for Covid before we make plans to see each other; we both need to have negative results, no coughing (from colds and/or infections) and no nasal congestion (from colds and/or infections). We don’t want to get the other sick with what we may have. 

We hope to see each other next weekend and again for my bday weekend (2.5 weeks after Christmas). Next weekend will be holiday stuff; I was raised in a Christian household and he was raised in a Jewish/Catholic household. We want to cover both Hanukkah and Christmas. We’re both of Italian descent so it’s the Feast of the Seven Fish but the kicker is that the seafood we get....is kosher seafood - which is typically eaten by non - practicing Jews - (the other food we order/make is also kosher when possible). We go through 8 bottles of wine - between the two of us - for the Christmas and Hanukkah meal (we start around 11:30 am)  

For my birthday....it will be all pasta and carb related. Gnocchi, fettuccini, bucatini, lasagna, angel hair, orrechette, etc. Vince makes many mean pasta dishes that comes with plenty of Italian bread on the side. We tend to go through 6 to 8 bottles of wine (we start closer to 11 am) throughout the day that we celebrate my bday (not necessarily on my actual birthday but near it; that way I can spend time with my family on my actual birthday). 

What I appreciate about Vince is that he’s always the calm in the storm, my rock, an amazing listening, great at massages (which always gets me in trouble, lol!), great friend, wonderful and generous lover, great kisser, kind hearted, slow to anger, and all around great person.