Ugh. I am trying my damndest to avoid drama to my best ability but somehow….it hunts me down. So the ex that cheated on me 13 years ago….you know the one with the daughter? Yeah so he and his ex wife were friends of mine when we all were at the same college 20 years ago this fall.
He and I were dating back in 2008, he cheated on me - mutual friends told me - he denied it, we all confronted him about it and he still denied it and just a few weeks after his daughter was born, he finally admitted it to me. That’s when we were fighting, verbally hurting each other, having sex with other people and bragging about it to the other….the list goes on.
Just when we were in a semi good place, he tells me to start planning a wedding. I tell our mutual friend and she’s calling me a liar because she’s engaged to him and of course, he denies it. I tell her the shit that happened between he and I, she tells me that she believes him, he denies to me that he lied to her. She finally threatened to NOT marry him unless he tells her about the shit went down between he and I. He finally did and she apologized for calling me a liar. I tell him that as long as they’re married to each other, I am out of both their lives.
They ended up being married to each other for like 3 years and then he starts emailing me again saying that she moved from his home state where they lived to the state where we went to college together and is divorcing him. We go back and forth for a bit and then I walk away. Again. A few months go by and so I reach out to her to tell her that he’s reached out to me with all these accusations against her. She and I talk out our shit and we’re best friends now (IKR?) and tell me that he’s mostly lying. Of course he is! He hasn’t changed one bit!
So I talk to him again and tell him this shit that I heard from his family (true story) and from her family (true story) and said that he’s lying to me yet again and if he wants me to listen to his sob story, he better straighten up and start telling me the truth. I verify everything he says with his family, the ex wife and her family for a solid year; total waste of everyone’s time. At that point, 95% of it is the truth so I stop bothering everyone about what he says and does….it was getting tiring. Fast forward to 2018/2019, he and I smooth out like 80% of our shit, talk 3 times a week, I talk to her 4 to 6 times a week. It’s a small improvement but doesn’t mean that I’m friends with him.
I had to share with him recently that because of his actions back in 2008, the 3 of us have this weird relationship. They’re friends, exes and interested to see where life takes them when they see each other again. He and I talk about shit going on in our lives but I have zero interest in getting in any relationship with him again (he made me a 5th option instead of first choice when we were dating). She and I are friends and we talk about a TON of things, always listening to each other and being a shoulder to the other.
I want him out of my life but for some reason, I can’t…..no matter how many times that I walk away some nonsense happens and I get dragged back into it.
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