I woke up early this morning, had breakfast, took my birth control and took a shower. In the spare bedroom, I was going through the dresser drawers to see if I had left behind a set of clothes. Vince heard me banging around and came in the room with a set of spare clothes that I left 8 months ago. I thanked him, went to the bathroom to change.
Once back downstairs, I checked online to see what the hours of operation was for Vince’s wife’s divorce attorney. They opened at 8:30 am. I checked the time on my phone and it showed 8:15. I gathered all my things and left the condo without saying goodbye to Vince.
I headed to the office and thankfully it only took me 5 minutes to get there. Had to wait a few minutes before they opened but I gave them a few extra minutes. Around 8:35, I entered the building, greeted the receptionist, I introduce myself and I explained why I was there. The receptionist immediately got the attorney and he came over seconds later.
We introduced ourselves to each other. I explained who I was and why I was there, showing the divorce papers. I asked if the divorce papers were real. The attorney checked out the papers and said that it’s real. I then asked if the wife’s signature is real and he said it is. I thanked him for his time and his patience then left; leaving him with both signatures on the divorce papers. From there, I went home.
Since I had been staying with my parents for a few days, they looked at me and they asked what was up. I suggested that they talk to Vince since they're closer to him than I am right now but they mentioned that I just spent the night with him. I said that just because I spent the night at his place prior to dropping off his divorce papers does NOT mean that I am close to him. They were surprised that he was getting divorced. I told them to call him up and find out what's going so they did.
I went upstairs to give them some privacy while they talked to him. I was halfway done with a book when they texted me to come down. So I went downstairs and sat down. They were shocked and appalled with Vince’s behavior - the cheating, the lying, the marriage and lying about the marriage. They asked me why I didn’t share this with them so I told them that I’m an adult and I don’t need to share EVERY little - or big - thing with them. When I left Vince, that was the adult thing to do. Spending last night with him and the other weekend were moments of weakness because I still love him very much despite moving on like 98%.
They told me that they were told by him that I’d dropped off his divorce papers to her lawyers because I didn’t trust Vince to do it. I said that was true and if I didn’t, who knows how long they’d remain separated instead of getting divorced sooner.
I told them that this conversation was not needed because I don’t want nor need their advice in regards of Vince because I already lived through it several other times with different guys I'd dated without ever telling them. They were shocked with this statement and wanted to have ANOTHER conversation and I said no way that conversation is happening because I grew up, moved on and I’m happy with where I am in life. I even told them that they don’t need to have any conversation with me about Vince’s behavior because I already lived through it.
I went upstairs, packed my stuff and told them that I’m going back to my my place because 1. I’m an adult and I have my own place 2. I do NOT need to have a “serious” conversation about Vince (and others) cheating on me 3. IF I want advice, I’ll ask for it from them and 4. I do NOT appreciate unsolicited help/advice from anyone….even friends. 5. They get to play grandparents to my dogs for a bit. I said good bye and headed to my place.
I was glad the dogs were staying with my parents for another few weeks because I am starting a new job in a few days and I want to settle into the job before I’ll bring my dogs home. And of course, I’ll visit my dogs at my parents’ several times a week until I bring them home with me.
I started my laundry and took a nap for a little bit. I woke up to a phone call - it was Vince’s divorce attorneys and her divorce attorneys. Talk about a surprise. They all wanted to know who I am and how I know both of them. I said tit was a long and complicated story but I gave them a pretty brief summary.
I told them that I met Vince when I was 14 and a freshman in high school, he and I dated briefly 8 years later, he broke up with me, I helped his widowed sister in law for a bit, several years later he and I dated but mutually broke up and reconnected almost 3 years ago now, dated for about 18 months - including a quasi engagement - he asked me to marry him, I asked him to wait but he got married instead; later telling me we can wait on the marriage…to which I found out about 4 to 5 weeks after I broke up with him that he was already married to the wife for 3 to 4 weeks at that point, I cut him off, spent a sexy weekend with him but officially cut it off and in a moment of weakness, I spent the night with him that included sex. They were shocked with all this information. They thanked me for my help.
I caught them both before they hung up. I asked why they wanted to know and they said that they wanted to verify what Vince had told them but he didn’t tell them about the quasi engagement though “he and I discussed it”. I sighed and called him a very sexy liar. They did an awkward laugh and thanked me for my time. I got up and my put my stuff in the dryer and ordered through DoorDash.
My food arrived sooner than I expected but that was fine with me. I ate and cleaned up then put a movie in and relax for the evening. Part way through the movie, my dad called with he and my mom on speakerphone; they wanted to apologize to me for being overbearing. I laughed and said that they’ve always been overbearing but they NEED to cut it WAY back as I’m an adult. They apologized again and I accepted their apology. They said they had invited Vince to their place - where’s he’s at now - and they wanted him to come over so he and I could talk. I asked them to put him on the speaker with them.
When he finally got to the phone, I explained that this is the last time that I want to hear his voice; I want nothing further to do with him BUT I’ll reassess in one to two months….I want him to grow up, focus on himself, learn to be single and appreciate being single and then figure out if he truly wants a future with me. Once I was done talking, he knew that without a doubt he wants a future with me. I laughed pretty hard and told him that he needs to take the time alone before he makes the decision. I mentioned that the diner that he and I bumped into last night will now let me know when he arrives and when he leaves and they will do the same with him in regards of me.
I could tell that he was mad but it’s to prevent me from from going home with him again until he takes time on himself and until I decide if I want a future with him. We all said goodbye and I hung up. I got up and took the wine out of the freezer and poured a small glass, found my emergency stash of chocolate and finished the movie.
I found my missing journal and wrote in it about the last 24 ish hours. It took forever to write what happened and how I felt during everything. It definitely helped me process everything.
Now it’s time for dinner!
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