Nothing but a hot mess going on here

It’s been a weird few days since last week.

Thursday night, I spent the night with Vince and it was great to be with him. We did my “tradition” on shitty days of shoveling cookies and ice cream in our faces. I felt like shit after having all the sugar so I drank a ton of water. When we went to bed, I stripped and didn’t bother to put on my pjs; I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with any more clothing plus Vince likes to sleep with a hundred blankets. Go figure. He’s an old man.

Friday morning while we were still in bed, we were talking about going away Saturday early afternoon through Sunday night. We weren’t sure where we would go and even if there was a point but we decided that it would be nice to get away. We figured that we’d go to the casino town a few hours away to have fun. I am not that much a gambler but he is. Figured that I’d suck it up so he would feel supported.

After showering, I went back to join Vince in bed.

“Babe? You wanna?” I ask knowing that he does.

“Yes, babe,” he leaned over to kiss me.

In no time, Vince was thrusting his penis in and out of me hard and fast. I moan his name. I roll us over and ride his penis, taking my time. He’s frustrated but he knows that when I ride him like this, he’s going to cum hard. I pick up a little bit of speed. Vince grabs onto my breasts to sort of “help” me not fall over and thrusts up into me as I slid down his penis. We climaxed together; he moaned my name but instead of moaning his, I moaned C’s. I didn’t realize until I climbed off of Vince’s still rock hard penis.

“Babe?” he asked. “What in the actual fuck? Who is C?”

“Vince, baby,” I said. “I’m so sorry. He’s an old friend…more of a fantasy than anything else.”

“Right, babe,” he said. “Every man that I know or have come across that has seen you wants to be with you sexually. This ‘friend’ wants you whether he realizes that he’s a fantasy or not. Did you have sex with him?”

“I have had so many chances to screw many guys - including him - when we first started dating, when we broke up and when we recently got back together,” I said. “Vince, you fucked shit up when you two timed me, got married and lying about it, hitting me….I could’ve done many a things and my friend is not one of them. We both had the opportunity years ago but unlike you, babe, neither he nor I cheat on whom we’re with.”

It was clear that he was pissed that I called him out on his behavior. He knew that I was telling the truth that C and I have not been intimate (recently) but he was hurt….more hurt than he should be.

“Babe,” I said. “I love you and I want us to work. You need to understand that not everyone is hiding anything and everything. Look, I am sorry that I said his name instead of yours. I am not going to hide behind the fact that I have thought about him. We all have a fantasy person that we would want a ‘free pass’ with or a celeb crush that we thought about what it would be like to have sex with them. I would be upset with you if you moaned someone else’s name but I wouldn’t be down your throat about asking whether or not you’re being intimate with them. I am leaving and I will see you later in therapy. It’s only one session today. And it doesn’t look like that we’ll go away tomorrow as you’re still mad at me and that we have several sessions tomorrow morning.”

I left his place and went to my place. I gathered my laundry, started a load and cleaned the apartment. I had called C to talk to him about the situation, telling him that I appreciate the friendship but taking a few steps back as Vince and I need to work things out. He was flattered that he was my fantasy but he agreed with Vince that I am in deep shit with him. He encouraged me to work shit out with Vince. We hung up and I order dinner.

I am half way through a bottle of wine when dinner arrives. I thank and tip the driver. I love the restaurant I ordered from and their food but sometimes some of what I ordered is missing, I get other another person’s order, I get a combination of my food and someone else’s or I get my food plus a few extra things. I really don’t care as I still enjoy the food. I did email the owner twice previously just to give them a heads up so they were aware and that they don’t need to worry too much as I get the fact that we’re all human. Thankfully, my order was mostly correct with a few extra items. I made a mental note to swing by the restaurant to pay for the extra food as I’d hate the thought of them losing their business for not getting paid for the food that they sent out.

I watch a movie as I eat. I text a few people to catch up with them as I finish the movie. After the movie, I cleaned up and went to bed knowing that therapy would be a bitch the next day.

I got up around 7 and headed to therapy; it was a solo visit followed by Vince’s solo visit and then we went together 2 hours after his solo visit as the therapist had other patients to work with. The session with the both of us was super tough and it was hard to get through. It was worth it though because Vince understood that what I did the day before was as hurtful to him as his previous actions were towards me and that we’re humans and that we make mistakes.

When we left the therapist’s office, Vince asked if I had a bag packed for the night. I told him that I did but it’s at home. He asked me to go home to go pick it up and then head back to his place as we’re still going out for a night. I nodded my head and left. It didn’t take long to grab my bag and head back to his place. I was grateful that my dogs were at my parents’ getting spoiled rotten. Love those little stinkers! 

I got to Vince’s and let myself in. Vince greets me seconds later, half dressed as he had just stepped out of the shower. I start stripping; leaving my clothes where they land, grab Vince by the hand and lead him up to his room. We start kissing; he yanks off his pants and his boxer briefs. I stroke his hardening penis and he moans my name.  I know that he can't make it to the bed so I sweep stuff off his one dresser, lean over said dresser and spread my legs. Vince slides his penis inside my dripping wet apex and thrusted fast and hard; we climaxed together moments later.

We get dressed, pack the car and head to the casino town a few hours from us. Thankfully he drove because I’m there would be no way that I’d be capable of driving at the moment.  I couldn’t wait to get to the hotel and change into the outfit that I’d packed. It was form fitting and showed a ton of my breasts. Vince and I talk a little bit about me moaning C’s name but we don’t linger on it. It was easy to tell that he was still hurt but not as in much as shock as he was yesterday.

As we get closer, I feel rather frisky so I slide my hand over to his crotch and start rubbing my hand over his penis. Vince swerves and then corrects the car. I continue to rub his penis for the few remaining minutes before arriving at the hotel. He parks, gets out and checks in as I gather our stuff. He comes back a few minutes later to help me bring things up to the room. We were given an amazing room with a great view. As soon as the door closed behind us, we stripped leaving our clothes right where we dropped them.

I barely made it on the massive couch before Vince was deep inside of me and pounding me hard, grabbing a tight hold of my breasts. I moan his name loudly and wrapped my legs around his waist. I gently press my hands against his chest using my fingers to massage his nipples. Vince just about screamed my name and pounded me even harder. He leaned down to suck my nipples, gently grazing them with his teeth.

“I’m so close, baby,” I moaned, holding his head at my my breasts. “Yessssssssss, baby.”

Vince bit the base of my neck; my apex clamped around his thick penis. He bit me again but harder and leaving marks this time. I climaxed hard then he climaxed after me, pulling out when he finished. We lay there, panting. I finally get up. 

I take a quick shower and start getting ready. I hear snoring so I go wake up Vince. He hops in the shower as I finish getting ready. I figured that it’d be somewhat dark in the casino so my hair and makeup are minimal. 

I slide the dress on hoping that Vince will like it; it’s navy blue, low cut and form fitting. My breasts are about to fall out. I put on my stilettos, grab my wallet, phone and charger to place inside a small purse. I bump into Vince as he leaves the bathroom. He’s in jeans, a navy blue polo shirt and penny loafer shoes. I thought he looked stunning. I went to kiss him and his hands were all over me. I toss my purse on the couch so I could wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. 

We pulled away from each other as we knew that we’d never leave the room if we continued. I glanced down to see if he were hard and he was, so I told him that he take care of it as I fix my lipstick. I could hear him in the bathroom grunt as he was stroking himself. Seconds later I hear him wash his hands.

“Ready, babe?” Vince asked teaching for my hand. “I’ve already won the jackpot by being with you. You’ll bring me more luck tonight.”

“Yes, darling. I’m ready,” I said taking his hand, grabbing my purse knowing how tonight in the casino would be. “I hope that I bring you as much luck as you’ve brought me.”

Once we were in the hallway heading to the elevator that would bring us to the casino, my left hand was in the crook of his right elbow and I was a step behind him, looking down at the floor. When we got into the elevator, he pulled me close tucking me under his arm, grabbing my ass. I kind of liked his dominance over me. It didn’t take the elevator long to take us to the casino floor. As we exited, my left hand was back in the crook of his right elbow and I was one step behind him. 

“Baby. This is why you’re to behave the way you are now. Men are looking at you, desiring you. Wanting to be with you,” Vince said. “I’m extremely turned on right now. You’re like this now with your breasts about to fall out of your bra and dress but I get the full you later. I’ll gamble with you right next to me so I can have my arms around you.”

“You know that I’m only like this just for tonight, right, baby?” I ask. “I’m allowing you to be dominant just this once and when we get back to the room, it’s going back to the way it was before…us being equal. I’ll be in your arms as you gamble but I’ll whisper dirty things in your ear to remind you what you’ll be getting later, baby. Let’s get going!” 

Vince led us to the craps table so he could play and teach me. After watching and learning, I whispered in his ear that the dice reminded me of when his balls are in my hands and that I’d like to blow on them before tossing them. He instantly got hard handing the dice over to me. He put a few chips here and there then I threw the dice. The casino employee declared Vince and I the winners of $400. He pulled me in under his arm, grabbing my ass; I bit his earlobe gently and he moaned. My plan to make him hard and to keep him hard was working. 

We collected the chips that we won and went off to a dark corner. I started rubbing his dick and he moaned my name. He pulled my breasts out of my dress to suck and bite as I undid his pants button and zipper to reach his hard penis and stroked him. Seconds later, he climaxed, spilling his essence right on the rug. He tucked himself back in as I put myself back into my bra and dress. We reached over to the hand sanitizer stand and went to the the black jack tables.

The card dealer wouldn’t let me stand next to Vince so I stood right behind his chair with one hand on his back and the other stroking the back of his neck. After betting the $400 we just won, he played a few full hands winning $2,000. I was surprised that he won that much as his cards were shit but he was great at bluffing (I can look right through him though!). He lead us to the slots. 

I was at his arm when a casino employee was walking with a tray of cocktails. He couldn’t stop looking so I asked him to stop, leaned over more than I should’ve to grab 2 drinks and thanked him. Vince tipped him before he could walk away.

“Here’s a drink for you, love,” I said handing him one. 

He took it from me and drank it slowly as I drank mine quickly as it was a shot. After winning some, Vince and I switched so I could play the slots. Drinks kept coming over and we both kept drinking. Vince left to get bottles of water for us and he came back to me getting the both of us another drink. I switched from shots to cranberry vodkas and he stayed with Jack Daniels. 

When I stood up to thank him, he grabbed my elbow so I wouldn’t fall. Once I was steady, I leaned forwards to hug him, biting his ear lobe. I whispered in his ear that I’m ready for him to take advantage of me. We finished our drinks, he cashed out and we headed to the elevator. 

I didn’t care who was in the elevator with us…I was massaging Vince’s penis over his pants. We didn’t have many floors to go and he was ready to bust. 

The second we opened the door, Vince carried me over to the bed laying me down on my back, lifted my dress and slid his penis in me. 

"Baby?" Vince asked. "Are you ok, my love? You sure you want me to continue, baby?"

"Vince," I said moaning, "Please, baby. I want you."

Vince gently thrusted in and out of my apex, checking in with me from time to time to make sure that I was ok and that I wanted this - he has always made sure that I consent prior to having sex after having a few drinks. Minutes later, I climaxed so hard but he continued gently thrust in me and climaxed not long after I did. He pulled out, changed and ordered room service as I slept a little bit.

After a bit, Vince woke me up and gave me a bottle of water with some Advil. I took only 1 Advil with a full 16 ounce bottle followed by another bottle. I stood up, got out of my dress to hang it up. I noticed that it was wrinkled when I took it off so once it was on a hanger, I hung it up in the bathroom so the steam of the next hot shower would release the wrinkles. I took out my contacts, put on my glasses and one of Vince's shirts prior to the hotel's restaurant staff brought our food. I took him by the hand and led him to the mini balcony. He knew what was on my mind.

I leaned slightly against the three foot tall bannister/fence, stuck my hips out, Vince slid his penis into my apex and began to take me hard and fast. He gently grabbed a section of my hair, guided my head back and kissed my neck.

“Yessssssssss, my love,” I moaned. “You feel so good, baby!”

Vince continued to thrust his in and out of me, filling me with his thick penis. He moved my hips a little closer to the railing and continues to slide in me. His penis hits my apex walls a little differently and I begin to scream his name. He thrusts himself deeper, harder and faster in me and we climax together. After we catch our breath, he pulls out and sees that I climaxed so hard on him that his penis is dripping wet. 

He turns me so I face him. I lean against the railing, spreading my legs. He moans and slides his penis in me again, pounding fast and hard. After a few minutes, he thrusts a little harder in me not caring that the cement railing is scratching me. I groan in pleasure and minor discomfort from the railing. Vince pulls out, carries me to the bed and slams his penis in my apex and proceeds to fuck me as his life depended on it. He kept the pace after he climaxed and then pinched my nipples. I climaxed so hard. 

Not long after, someone brought the food up and all I could smell was garlic. This man that I love knows me. Vince thanked the employee, tipping heavily and closed the door. Vince brought in the food cart and lifted the lid. I saw two very garlicky pasta primavera dinners, two champagne flutes and a VERY expensive bottle of champagne. I leaned up and kissed Vince tenderly. He knows the way to my heart....through garlic, alcohol and food. 

We talked and had a good laugh about the night. He thought that everything would go according to plan, forgetting that I am a little bit mischievous and admitted that he had fun. I told him that I am not usually the one to be submissive in any manner - which he said that he was well aware of - but I had fun as well and that I felt that it was a bit of a way to show me off. He laughed very hard because he knows that I'd rather be a wallflower rather than be the center of attention. 

Vince was a little annoyed that his plan didn't work out as he had expected but he knows me better than that; I am anything but submissive. We both enjoyed our dinners and champagne. As we were eating dinner, we were discussing what our next steps were. Therapy seemed to be going well and we are still in love, Vince wants to get married and have 2 to 4 kids but I am not sure what I want with him. I still don't want marriage as I don't need a piece of paper stating that I love someone and will spend a lifetime with them...as for kids? I don't want them with Vince at this moment. If we are together in a year or two and no longer in therapy, then maybe I'll have a kid with him (he'd be 60 years old in two years). He wasn't thrilled with me not wanting to get married nor having kids with him but he understands that I am very wary of what the future holds and he also knows that I don't fully trust him anymore. 

"Babe," Vince said taking a sip of the champagne. "I get that you don't trust me 100% because I physically assaulted you and that you often wonder if I will again; I can sense that you're still walking on eggshells around me and I see you flinch quite too often when I’m near you. Again, I am so so sorry for hitting you. My apologies, both current and future actions and therapy will never take it back. I will continue to show you that it was an isolated incident. I have loved you for a very long time and I will continue to love you, my darling. I am saddened that you still feel the same way about marriage and that as of right now, you don't want to have children with me, however I do understand both. Neither of us knows what the future holds for us, but my darling love, I want my future to be with you."

I stood up, walked over to Vince and sat next to him. I leaned over to kiss him on his cheek.

"I love you more than anything, my love," I said, grabbing his hands in mine. "It's true that I walk on eggshells and flinch. We're working on this and I see that you are trying to figure out what caused you to hit me and why you hit me. Baby, it's going to take some time that I won't walk on eggshells and won't flinch. It hurts to say it and equally as painful to hear it. I want more than anything to spend our lives together but neither of us can see into the future nor have an answer of what will happen to us. A marriage license, to me, is just a piece of paper stating that two people love each other....I don't need a piece of paper stating that I love you. Don't get me wrong about kids; I wanted to have several kids with you when we were both younger but with both of us getting older - mainly you, love - I don't see kids for us at this time but if we are still together and better than where we are now, I don't see why we can't have at least one child in a year or so."

I could tell that Vince was fading. I looked at the clock and it showed that it was 2 am.

"Baby? Go to bed," I said. "I'll clean up, pack the food to put it in the fridge and will put the cart out in the hallway. I'll join you soon, ok?"

Vince nodded, finishing his champagne, poured a little more to drink and then went to go brush his teeth. There was about half of the champagne left and I didn't want it to go to waste so I finished it then continued to pack up our food and got rid of the cart. I called down to reception to let them know that the cart was in the hallway and wished them a good night. I hopped into the shower, brushed my teeth and joined Vince in bed.

"My love," I said. "Move over a little. You're hogging the bed."

He moved so I could get in bed with him. I didn't bother with the sheets as Vince wrapped me up in his arms. In seconds, I fell asleep feeling safe in the arms of the man that I love, feeling him stroke my nipples and the folds of my apex