Matteo

I’ve been in contact with Matteo since late afternoon on Sunday. On Wednesday afternoon, he called me to let me know that he had left work earlier that morning feeling sick and he feared that it was Covid because of his symptoms. I asked if he had made an appointment with his doctor for later that day and he said that he did. I then asked him if he wanted me to drive him over. He said that he didn't want to risk my health but I told him that I already had it recently and have the antibodies so I am fine. He said that it was ok then for me to bring him to the doctor.

I got dressed, packed a few days worth of clothes and then brought the dogs over to my parents' place so they could be spoiled rotten; even more spoiled than usual. I explained what was going on and they wished me luck as they gave me a bunch of masks. As soon as I got back in my car, I texted Matteo to let him know that I was on my way and that I'd get there as soon as I could. Thankfully, I knew a short cut to get to his place. I got out of my car and rushed into Matteo's place; I knew that he'd leave the door unlocked for me. As I walked in, I put my mask on to make him feel more comfortable as he thought he'd get me super sick. I grab his keys, he grabs his wallet and we head to his car.

He gave me directions to get the doctors office; minutes later we arrive and he called the office to let him know that he was there; he was instructed to stay in the car, they asked if he had someone with him, they could go in and get paperwork for him to fill out. I went in and said that I was there to get paperwork for Matteo to fill out. I started to hand them his insurance card, they just asked me to confirm that he was the card holder, the Member ID and a few other things listed on the card. I headed back to the car where Matteo had fallen asleep. He woke up the second that I opened the door and he filled out the paperwork quickly. I ran back into the office to hand off the paperwork; they said that they'd be out in a minute with a test.

I head back out to the car and wake up Matteo again as he'd fallen asleep. A moment later a nurse came out with the test and stuck what needed to be stuck up Matteo’s nose. Matteo wasn’t thrilled with the stuffing things up his nose but he knew that it needed to be done. The nurse said that she is going to process the test and will call him when it’s time. 

Matteo was fine with that. As the nurse left, Matteo gave me his phone to answer while he napped. Poor guy sounded worse as time went by; sounded like he had a bad cold AND the flu at the same time. I took my jacket off and laid it across his lap as he was wearing his and seconds later, he fell asleep. I was able to get out of the car and close the door quietly…he needed to sleep. 

I don’t remember what time the nurse performed the test and I wasn’t watching my Fitbit for the time. I started thinking about last weekend and how I should move on from there: 

The pros were: he cares a ton about me, he acts like a gentleman ALL the time, he’s kind, he’s generous (with his time, his money and with sex), he’s smart and he’d have adorable babies….if he decided to have kids with whomever he is with at the time.

The cons were: his lack of talking TO me about my interests (remember how he talked to my fam and friends to find out more about me), his short temper (I’ve got one as well!), he’s about sports 24/7, he’s my neighbor Brick’s nephew, and sometimes he’s too quiet for my liking. 

Matteo’s phone rings and brings me back. I answer his phone and let the nurse know that I’ll wake him up. I get in the car to wake Matteo up; I say his name, nothing. I shake him, nothing. I kiss him, he wakes up and takes his phone back. I couldn’t hear what the nurse said but by looking at Matteo, I could tell that he was tested positive. He groaned. The nurse said that it took time to call him to give him the results as the doctor was calling around to different pharmacies to find out if they had the medication that prevents the virus from mutating and replicating. They’d found a pharmacy 5 minutes from their office; they said it might take about 30 minutes or so to fill, but we can head there and wait. 

He asked the nurse if he should take cold medicine to help relieve the symptoms and up his vitamin c intake. The nurse said that the cold medicine would help as well as acetaminophen and although it isn’t proven that vitamin c would help fight against the virus BUT it would be a good idea to build his immune system up. He thanked the nurse and they got off the phone.

He turned to face me. He relayed what the nurse said. I asked if he wanted me to drive him home and then I head to the pharmacy but he said that he’d wait in the car for me. Since I know where the pharmacy is, I tell Matteo to close his eyes and rest while I take care of everything. Before he nods off, he hands me his wallet, he tells me to use his credit card and to make sure that the pharmacy uses his insurance card. I said ok and off we went. 

Matteo was out cold before leaving the doctors office parking lot. When we got there, I parked further away so it would be quieter for him; I did crack two windows a pinch so he could get fresh air. I walk in and head straight to the pharmacy department and let the pharmacy techs know that I’m here for Matteo’s medication and that they can take their time as I know they’re busy. They told me that it’d be about 20 to 30 minutes as they were a little delayed and I told them that it was ok.

I go to the pain med aisle to browse the different brands of cold meds and the different types of vitamin c. I remembered Matteo’s symptoms and that helped me find the right one; I grab two packages as it’s buy one get one free. I take 10 of my steps to the right to check out the vitamin c. I remembered that the MAXIMUM daily amount of vitamin c is 1,000 mg per day. I found a bottle of 30 capsules count that had 1,000 mg capsules. Perfect!!

Since there’s still time so I check out the nail polish. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything fun or exciting color wise. I head over to the drinks to grab a large bottle of cold water and make my way over to the pharmacy. When I walk up, one of the techs grabs Matteo’s bag and starts to ring me up. The tech offered to ring up my other items and I said that if they’ve got time, if not I can go to the main register. The tech said since I have 3 other things it isn’t a problem. I smiled and thanked the tech. Thankfully, Matteo’s insurance covers the medication 100%. 

As I head to his car, I texted Matteo to let him know that I was heading to his car. He didn’t respond so I figured that he was still asleep. Before I open the door, I text him again to let him know that I was going to open the door. He wakes up and sees me. I open the door and I hand him the bag; as I’m driving to his place, he was reading about his medication so he knew what’s going on with it. 

Although he didn’t like the side effects of the medication, he said that he’d take it anyway.  He takes a sip of the water and takes 2 pills (2 pills twice a day), gathered everything and put it in the plastic bag.

We get to his place, enter and he plops on the couch. I grab a banana, a glass of juice, a vitamin c and 2 cold med pills. He made a face but took the pills and juice from me. He begrudgingly took the pills and ate the banana. I asked if there was anything I could help with before he took a nap. He said that he needs help a shower and grinned like a Cheshire cat. I laughed. 

He got up to clean up after himself. We head upstairs, I dump my bag in his room and undress. He was in the bathroom getting the bathroom/shower ready; I walk in in my birthday suit, wrap my arms around him from behind. He turned around, surprised to see me naked and not wearing my mask. I told him that a mask would be useless in the shower and he laughed and agreed with me.

He strips his clothes, leaving his clothes in the corner by the door. I grab a few towels from the linen closet, I entered the shower and he followed suit. He wanted to fool around but I told him to wait until we get out of the shower as I’d fall and break something if we were in the shower fooling around…thankfully he agreed. 

We get out and towel off and walk to his room; he dumped his clothes in his hamper. We get in bed and begin to kiss but he pulls away…I ask what’s wrong, he said that he’d get me sick and that he’d be beside himself if I got Covid from him. I told him to suck it up and start kissing me again. 

He adjusts himself between my legs and enters my apex; I moan his name over and over again. I nibble his ear, he screams my name and thrusts harder in me. I wrap my legs around his waist to bring him closer to me. Matteo can barely control himself anymore and starts to ravish me. We’re both moaning each other’s names and we climax together seconds later. 

Matteo rolls off of me, lays next to me and falls asleep. I untangle myself from his arms, get dressed, hang the towels in the bathroom and start making dinner. Despite him not being a soup person, I made chicken noodle soup with extra chicken and extra noodles. Chicken soup has been medically proven to be effective in making people feel better.

For the broth, I started with chicken broth, chicken stock and a small chicken bouillon, cut up carrots, onions and celery. As it’s simmering, I cut up raw chicken breasts, cut up green beans, and cut broccoli into small pieces. In a separate pot, I make brown rice to be added to the soup. I start the oven, prepare two garlic bulbs to be roasted and put the cooking tray aside until the oven comes up to temp.

I add salt, pepper, dried parsley flakes and a few pinches of garlic powder. I put the chicken, carrots, onions and celery into the soup. Once the oven is up to temp, I pour extra virgin olive oil on the halved garlic bulbs and toss the cooking tray into the oven for about 35 minutes.

As the soup and and garlic are working, I check the freezer to see if there’s anything I can either add to the soup or to supplement dinner. I see a loaf of Italian bread so I take it out and let it thaw on the counter. I immediately take butter out of the fridge, soften it a little bit in the microwave. The timer for the garlic went so I took out the tray, spooned out the garlic into a bowl and toss it in the fridge to cool.

I pull two boxes of pasta from the pantry and open the boxes. I hear some banging around. Matteo must be up from the nap and is banging around. He comes down a few minutes later. He heard me in the kitchen and came in; he walked up behind me and put his arms around me, kissing my neck. I smiled and turned around, kissing him. He asked if I needed help, I said that I did; I asked him to take the roasted garlic out of the fridge and add it to the semi softened butter, which he did happily, and put it back into the fridge.

I toss the pasta - elbow macaroni - into the soup. I set the timer and sliced the bread. I placed the bread in the toaster when there was a minute or two left on the timer for the soup. Both Matteo and I taste the soup….we both agree that it needed a little bit more of salt. 

The toaster timer went off. I pulled the bread out, spread the garlic butter on the toast and plated the toast. Matteo grabbed some bowls and handed them to me. As I was scooping the soup into the bowls, he set the table. I brought over the bowls and he brought over wine for me and water for himself as well his medication that we picked up today. 

Matteo absolutely LOVED the soup and had three bowls. He also loved the garlic butter on the bread; his wish was that there was more garlic. After we ate, I suggest to Matteo to go watch some sports as I cleaned up the kitchen. It didn’t take long as I cleaned up as I cooked and started the dishwasher. 

I pour myself my fifth glass of wine and entered the living room. Matteo is intently watching his favorite sports but barely keeping his eyes open. I place my glass on the coffee table in front of the couch Matteo is on, grabbed a heavy blanket and went back over to the couch. Before I sat down, I ran to the bathroom. 

I moved my wine glass to the table next to the empty end of the couch. I sit down, got adjusted and asked if Matteo wanted to rest his head on my lap; he agreed. He went to the smaller couch to get a throw pillow to put on my lap before putting his head on my lap. He adjusts the blanket on him and falls asleep in seconds. I changed the channel to a classic movie channel; it’s playing my favorite Italian family trilogy…the first one was on now. 

Halfway through the second movie, Matteo wakes up with a fever of 102* F. I immediately grab water and a bottle of a pain reliever/fever reducer; I poured 2 into Matteo’s hand and he takes them with the water. I call his doctors office to see if there’s a covering doctor at this time of night and thankfully there is. I explained everything to the doctor…the doctor said to bring him to the ER and that the doctor would meet us there. 

I grab us each 3 sets of clothes, our phones, their chargers and his wallet; we almost walked out without my purse so I ran in to grab it as well as an ice pack. Matteo got into the backseat, laid flat out and placed the ice pack on the base of his neck; I get in and drive as fast as I could to the ER…at that time of night/morning, no one was on the road and thankfully there weren’t any police in sight.

I pull up immediately to the ER entrance, I run in throwing my mask on looking for Matteo’s doctor. He entered the ER after I did and he asked/demanded a gurney. Both the doctor and I gently took Matteo out of the car and onto the gurney; the doctor tells me to ask for him after I park the car.

I park, grab my purse, the bag of our clothes, our phones and chargers. I jog into the ER asking for Matteo’s doctor and the ER nurse brings me into Matteo’s room; he’s been hooked up to an IV. The doctor comes in and explains that not only does Matteo have Covid but he also has an underlying infection and they’re running tests to see what it is. I ask what’s in the IV so the doctor tells me that it’s saline, acetaminophen (hospital grade) and a broad spectrum antibiotic. 

I place my purse and the bag into the closet and then the monitor goes off; I turn around, rushing to Matteo’s side….he’s having a seizure. I lean my head out of the room and scream “Code Blue”. Doctors and nurses come running in surrounding Matteo. They were speaking so fast that I couldn’t follow nor understand what they were saying. They injected something to his IV and he stops seizing. 

They check his temper; it went up to 104*F. The doctor looks  at me, tells me that the nurses were grabbing ice packs to help cool down Matteo’s fever/body temperatures and they’re going to monitor him. I asked if I could spend the night with Matteo. The doctor asked me if I had the Covid vaccine; I told him that I was vaccinated and boosted. The doctor said it was fine and that he’d bring in several air purifiers into the room so Matteo and I could be unmasked. 

I thanked the doctor and said that I’ll sleep in the chair, I didn’t need anything fancy. The doctor looked at me, asked me my name so I told him. He said that Matteo’s talked highly about me many times over the years and that whatever Matteo and I needed, we’d get it…he’d make sure that the staff taking care of Matteo would be aware of this. Without even thinking, I hugged the doctor.

He hugged me back and left Matteo and I alone. I changed into an old shirt that I permanently borrowed from Matteo and climbed into the hospital bed; at this point, the ice packs have been removed so there was space for the two of us. In seconds, I fall into a deep sleep.

I didn’t hear the nurses come in at 6:30 am for Matteo’s vitals. Around 8 am, he’s woken up by the nurse so he can eat and have fluids. After he ate, he put his arms around me and he fell back asleep. We wake up around 10:30 am and Matteo asked me why he’s in the hospital. He didn’t know why and he didn’t think to ask the staff earlier. 

I sat straight up in shock that no one told him. I told him that half way through the second of the third movie of my favorite Italian trilogy, he had a fever of 102, I called the doctor who told me to bring him to the ER, he had a seizure due to his higher fever and the doctor thought he had to have an underlying infection. He was stunned; he remembered getting jostled around but he’d thought it was a dream. 

The doctor comes in and I head to the bathroom to shower, dress and brush my teeth. By the time I get out, I notice Brick and my parents. Brick brought more clothes as did my parents for me. I closed the door and we all took our masks off. The doctor explained everything and said that Matteo has a mild case of Covid - not as bad as we thought and we’d all be ok (except for Brick) because we have immunity since we all had Covid - and he also has undiagnosed atypical (walking) pneumonia but it’ll be confirmed once he has a chest X-ray. Once they get the X-rays, they’ll know better of how to treat Matteo. We’ve all been vaccinated against pneumonia - except for Matteo. 

We all sit around Matteo and talk for a little bit before he’s brought down for the X-ray; I’m invited to go with with him. I look at Brick and he tells me to go; in that very brief second, my parents found out that I was ‘with’ Brick. I was happy to escape to go with Matteo down to radiology. 

Thankfully, they had everything set up for Matteo and it didn’t take long for the X-rays to be taken and we headed back up to his room. Matteo gets in his room and wants to spend time with his uncle. My parents and I go to the cafeteria to get something to eat. They asked about the thing with Brick and they admitted that they had an idea. I told them that they’d eventually find out and that they be disappointed in me. They giggled and asked me WHY I was with Brick. I laughed and said that he and I were both a little bored and we were looking for ‘adult interaction’ that both of us were missing. They weren’t happy but they’ll get over it. I did share that Brick was a mix of mad and jealous of Matteo because Brick had fallen for me unintentionally although he knew that whatever he and I had was platonic. 

We go back up to the room. Brick walked over to my parents and told them just about everything; even that he’d fallen for me. They told him that they and I had just had this conversation and that they’re glad that it was with someone I’ve known forever. He apologized to them for going behind their backs but they brushed the apology off because both Brick and I are consenting adults.

It doesn't take long for the doctor to come back with the X-rays and the answer. He did have walking pneumonia and the doctor offered all of us out pneumonia shots but we all declined except for Matteo as he thought that it would be beneficial in case he contracts pneumonia again; typically, doctors wait until the patient is healthy before getting the pneumonia shot but his doctor thought that it would be convenient since he's in the hospital now. While the doctor was with us, he said that a nurse should be on their way any moment with a change of antibiotics for Matteo. He was on penicillin but the doctor changed it to a macrolide antibiotic that does treat pneumonia. Before leaving the room, the doctor asked if Matteo needed anything but he said he was fine and that he wants to get out of the hospital as soon as he can. The doctor nodded and then left being followed by Brick and my parents.

The nurse came in with the new antibiotic and thankfully it was in the tablet form instead of being added to his IV. As soon as he took the medication, the nurse left. I get back onto the bed with Matteo and we nap. I get woken up by a bad dream I had - wish I could remember what it was but I can’t - and started hyperventilating; an anxiety attack was coming on. I felt the world closing in on me, I started shaking, had heart palpitations, had tunnel vision and started sweating. 

Matteo woke up in the middle of my attack, rang the button for the nurse and one came running. Once she saw me, she went to the doctor and the doctor came running in. The doctor  was trying to talk to me to help me calm down. Nothing helped at all. The nurse came back with an oxygen tank to help me…after a few minutes it did help.

Everything finally settled down, the nurse and the doctor left, leaving Matteo, myself and the oxygen. Thankfully the oxygen was a nasal cannula so we could speak and not having me repeat myself like I would if I had the mask that went over my mouth. Matteo did ask me what caused the attack and I honestly didn’t know. I looked at him pleadingly to end the conversation. He got the point and changed the subject, thankfully.

The day goes by, the hospital staff came in to check on Matteo, his vitals and checked up on me. I finally was able to stop using the oxygen and the doctor said that Matteo needed to stay another night at the hospital to make sure that he doesn’t spike another high fever and make sure that he doesn’t have another seizure. I spent Thursday night with Matteo - again sleeping in the same bed as him. 

By Friday morning, Matteo was feeling much better, thankfully. He knew that my anxiety attack rattled me so after I showered, he suggested that I go home and he'll have his uncle spend the next few days with him. I wanted to stay with him - he knew that - but he said that he'd rather me be home so I can rest and become borderline reclusive so I can rest.

I went home to take a much needed nap. A few hours later, I woke up, had lunch, grabbed a book and headed to the couch so I could read for a bit. I called Matteo to let him know that I did, indeed, nap and that I was going to read for a bit. He was happy that I did nap, happy that I ate lunch and that I was going to relax a bit. He said that he'd rather me with him instead of his uncle but he knew that I needed self care. I thought it was sweet that he'd rather me there but it's also important to have relatives to spend time with you as well. Thankfully, he was feeling better and said that he should be released that day or on Saturday - the following day.

I was getting a little listless and started cleaning my place; I even cleaned the areas that were already clean! Dusting, running the dishwasher, vacuuming and cleaning the kitchen were high on my priority list. I wasn't in the mood to do any cleaning but I knew if I did, the dishes and the dust would pile on and I much prefer a clean house in comparison to a messy/dirty house. It didn't take terribly long to clean the house and by the time I was done and plopped on the couch, Matteo called me to let me know that he was coming home that night! I was happy that he'd be coming home. He said that Brick would be bringing him home and that I should meet them in an hour there.

I showered again, putting on matching panties and bra and put on my usual jeans, t-shirt, sweatshirt and crocs on as well. I go for comfort instead of looking good. When I finally arrived, Brick and Matteo had arrived 15 minutes before me; they even went food shopping. I let myself in, greet them both and head to Matteo. I sit down on the couch next to him, ask him how he's feeling, see what he'd like to eat and ask what the doctor recommended. He said that the doctor recommended that he take 2 full weeks off because of the diagnosis of Covid and the pneumonia - he already submitted his doctor's note to the school - he said that he's feeling better and he's got three weeks of antibiotics and more of the medicine to help prevent Covid from replicating, he's allowed to take either cold medicine, ibuprofen OR acetaminophen to help the symptoms of Covid and it was recommended that he drink lots of fluids. I asked him what he'd like for dinner and he said that he wanted my lasagna. I asked if he and Brick purchased what I needed and they both were sure that they got everything. 

I checked the fridge for eggs, mozzarella cheese and ricotta cheese as well as the ingredients for meatballs and the ingredients for making my homemade sauce. They got the eggs, both cheeses, everything that I needed for the meatballs, the oven ready pasta and three jars of store bought sauce. I can't complain as the homemade sauce takes me HOURS to make. It took me no time to get a pot to put the jars of store bought sauce to bring up to temp and to added more flavor to it, made the meatballs, tossed them into the sauce, found a baking pan for the lasagna, made the ricotta cheese ingredients - ricotta cheese, an egg, parmesan Reggiano cheese, dried basil, dried parsley and 1/8 of a teaspoon of garlic salt; thankfully it took less than 10 minutes to make. 

I grabbed the mozzarella cheese and noticed that there were THREE blocks so I decided to use two blocks. I sliced them both into 1/4 inch slices. I spooned the sauce into the bottom of the pan, placed the oven ready lasagna noodles, put the ricotta cheese on top, grabbed a few meatballs to cut up and to put on top of the ricotta cheese, and placed some mozzarella cheese. I repeat the process of lasagna noodles, ricotta cheese, meatballs and mozzarella cheese four more times. For the top layer, it was the lasagna noodles, plenty of sauce and mozzarella cheese. I covered it in foil and placed in a 350* F oven for 30 minutes, took it out, got rid of the foil and placed back in the oven for another 20 minutes.

Brick asked if he could set the table for me, I said yes and thanked him. He took care of the table in a few minutes, grabbed three wine glassed and some white wine; he placed a wet paper towel on the bottle and tossed the bottle into the freezer....the trick that I taught him to cool wine down faster.. After the timer went off for the lasagna, I took it out to check it; it was ready. I was going to let it rest for 10/15 minutes...this way the wine had more time to chill and give Matteo time to wake up from a nap and get dressed. In the mean time, I texted the doctor to see if it was ok for Matteo to have wine with dinner - the doctor said it was fine but make sure that he doesn't drink more than 12 oz. of wine. I thanked him and wished him a good night.

As Matteo came downstairs, Brick checked to see if the wine was chilled enough but it wasn't. I told Brick not to worry as Matteo has cold grapes that we could toss into our glasses to cool the wine down more. I grabbed the wine glasses and tossed in grapes, poured the wine, tossed the wine back into the freezer and headed back to the table. I cut into the lasagna and thankfully it had set in less time than it needed. I gave them both big portions and gave myself half of what they had on their plates.

When we were eating, I was prattling along as they were stuffing their mouths with the lasagna; they barely came up for air and wine. I was happy they were enjoying the lasagna but I knew that they'd love it more if I had made homemade sauce. I realized just then that they also bought Italian bread so I got up - grabbing my plate so they wouldn't eat my piece of lasagna! - cut up the bread, put some sauce in a small bowl with a ladle and brought everything back to the table. Of course, they took a ton of bread but I managed to get several slices - ok, maybe 5 slices! - and finished eating dinner. The "boys" were stuffed and headed to the living room to catch up on a sports game and no, I didn't care which one! 

As I was cleaning up, I cut a small piece of lasagna for me before putting the rest in a larger container. I found another container to put the rest of the sauce and the meatballs in. Once both were full, I put them in the fridge and then I scrounged around in the pantry and the freezer to see if I can find something to make for dessert. I was able to find what I was looking for! I found chocolate chips, flour, sugar, dark brown sugar, eggs, vanilla, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In no time, I was whipping up a large amount of cookie dough. Before spooning the dough on to the cooking sheet, I checked in on the guys and they were out cold. 

Headed back into the kitchen to make cookies. I was thankful/happy to see that Matteo had 6 cooking trays. I was able to put 3 cooking trays in the oven at a time; which gave me time to fill up the remaining three. As I pulled the cookies out of the oven, I placed them on wax paper to cool; to help, I put on the ceiling fan. I repeated this process 4 times, I put some cooled down cookies in a container for me to bring home. Once all the cookies were done and cooling off, I placed everything from dinner and everything from baking cookies into the dishwasher and made it run on a quick wash. 

I raided the fridge again to see if I could find milk and I did; it wasn't organic but still better than no milk! I grabbed 3 glasses and 3 plates; filled them with milk and a ton of cookies. I brought in their glasses of milk and then made a second trip with their plates of cookies. They were still out cold so I woke them up. Of course, they scarfed the cookies and chased them with milk. I grabbed their glasses and plates. By this time, the dishwasher was done so I unloaded it. I scrounged around the panty for the umpteenth time. I found 3 boxes of brownie mix. I immediately checked if there was any ice cream and chocolate syrup. There was both vanilla and chocolate ice cream AND chocolate syrup. I used the now cleaned pan from the lasagna and found 2 other baking pans. I greased the pans and made the three boxes of brownie mix in a MASSIVE bowl; divvied up the batter in all 3 pans and cooked them all at the same time. While the brownies were cooking, I cleaned up the kitchen. 

I checked on the guys again, they were out cold. Guessed they didn't sleep well at the hospital.....so I let them sleep - let sleeping dogs (or sleeping men) sleep - and I stayed in the kitchen. I was texting my best friend and my mom to keep them posted on what's going on. The timer went off and took all 3 pans out to cool. I ran to the bathroom and came back (yes, I wash my hands every time!) and tossed the pans in the freezer for 15 minutes to help cool down; it helps enough but doesn't completely cool down the brownies. I cut brownies, placed some in a container for me to bring home, placed more in another container for Matteo to keep here at his place and put 3 decent sized brownies in bowls. 

Once the brownies were in the bowls, spoons placed in the bowls and the two ice cream flavors were out, I went to wake up the guys to ask if they preferred either chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream. They said that they love both and wanted both. Back into the kitchen I went and scooped both vanilla and chocolate ice cream in all the bowls, and squirted a ton of syrup into the bowls. I brought their bowls and napkins out to them before returning with mine. Since they were mostly stuffed, it took them a few minutes to finish.

I gathered the bowls and placed them as well as the pans into the dishwasher in a quick run and hung out with Matteo and Brick for a little bit before heading home. I packed up my purse, emptied the dishwasher, grabbed "my" containers of leftovers and put them in a bag. I went to Matteo and kissed him goodbye, hugged Brick goodbye and headed out. Thankfully it took 20 minutes to get home. My dogs were with my parents getting spoiled.

I texted Matteo to let him know I arrived home as well as doing the same for my best friend and my mom. I unpacked my leftovers, took out my contacts, took my make up off, changed into my pj's and plopped down - with my phone and charger - to watch one of my shows. I passed out cold about half way through the show and a text from C woke me up. He asked me how I was doing and asked how Matteo was. I told C that I am doing ok but I'll take both Saturday and Sunday for self care and that Matteo is now back at home - his - and his uncle is staying with him for the weekend. C said that he's glad that I'll be taking care of myself on Saturday and Sunday and that he's happy that Matteo is  home. C wished me a good night and I wished him one as well.

I spent most of the weekend sleeping, reading and minor cooking. Mostly reheated leftovers for dinner; had cereal and fruit for breakfast and lunch. I read 1 1/2 books between Saturday and Sunday; it helped me get a smidge done with my backlogged books. My parents were happy to host my dogs a few days more and spoil the dogs rotten!!

I spoke with Matteo this morning. He said that he feels 80% back to normal but he's taking his meds, resting and having tons of fluids. I might visit him tomorrow for a couple of hours.

Had a semi romantic weekend away (last weekend).

Matteo had called me last Wednesday evening to tell me that he’d gotten us a hotel in the city for us. I was a bit surprised that he’d wanted to get away with me. Thought it was very sweet of him and told him so. He’d already be in the city and he’d asked a friend of mine to bring me in as he knows that I don’t drive in the city due to anxiety; plus try going in during rush hour on a Friday night would be a nightmare for me.

I loaded up my friend’s car, hopped in and as soon as we were on the highway, I was out cold. Thanks to sleeping on the way into the city, I didn’t have to over think the weekend. We got to the hotel with no major issues thankfully…not like I had to worry about it. Lol. 

When we pull up, Matteo’s already outside waiting for our arrival. I stumbled out of the car as I didn’t have good footing, Matteo caught me and steadied me and then he helped me get my bags out of my friend’s car. I gave my friend a hug, thanked him and wished him a good night….he and his wife were staying with friends who live in the city. 

Matteo and I go inside the hotel, get into the elevator and go to the 10th floor to a “loft suite”. It was a great room; a huge bed and a mini kitchen with a mini fridge, and and a private balcony; the bathroom had a shower, and a stand alone tub. I turn to Matteo as I hear him unzip my small suitcase; he took out a casual dress that I packed to make sure that it didn’t have any wrinkles. He hung up the dress, put the bag in the closet and walked over to me. 

He’d placed his hand gently on my face, leaned down and kissed me so gently. I leaned towards him as I kissed him back; he kissed me even deeper and pulled me close to him. He slides his hands under my shirt to reach for my breasts and I moan. We start taking our clothes off and make our way to the bed. 

We get on the bed quickly, kissing and our hands exploring each other’s body. I get into a comfortable position and Matteo slides his penis in my ready apex. He moans my name. He starts thrusting in and out of me gently - he started to suck and squeeze my breasts which made me moan, he started thrusting harder and faster...he rolls us over so I’m on top. 

I take my time riding his penis and he loves it. As I’m sliding up and down his penis, I get closer and closer to climaxing. He rolls us back over to him being on top and within a few strokes, we climax together. We lay in each other's arms until we catch our breaths. I get up to take a shower. I get dressed in the dress that I brought and hunted for my stilettoes as I am painfully short. As Matteo is getting dressed, I fix my hair and do my makeup; I put some heat protectant spray in my hair so I could blow dry and straighten my hair. The last thing I do is put on red lipstick. 

Matteo is impressed with how I look; since we met in/at college and have hung out at his uncle's, he's usually seen me in jeans, tees, sweatpants/sweatshirts, shorts, etc. He leaned down and kissed me gently as he didn't want to smear my lipstick. I had to laugh a little when we stopped kissing - he'd managed to get a little of my lipstick on his lips. I get a tissue to wipe off the lipstick and as I did so, he moaned. I stepped away so we wouldn't end up in bed again and I fetched a really large scarf that I use as a shawl as well as my mini purse (it has just enough space just for my wallet, my asthma inhaler, my phone, one skinny phone charger and a charging cord). Once I was ready, we took the elevator down.

We got out of the elevator and walked outside....I didn't realize how cold it would be that night. Oh well. Matteo will warm me up later. A limo pulls up, the driver gets out and asks if we're the party for Deppgrl and Matteo; we say that we are. Matteo opens the back door so I could get in, he walks behind the limo and gets in from the street side. The driver asked us where we're going; of course, I have zero clue but Matteo tells the driver to head to this one famous Italian restaurant. My eyes get big and I turn my head to look at him. He asked me what the face was for and I told him that one of my favorite tv series sometimes has scenes filmed there. He laughed hard, saying that he knows that I love Italian food and love the tv show that sometimes gets filmed there.

I get a little confused and ask him how he knows so much about me as we never had these conversations and I asked if he ever stalked me. He looked at me like had 2 heads, laughed and said no but he’s talked to my family and friends to find out more about me. I looked at him rather seriously, put my hand on his arm and tell him that in the future he better talk with me about me. He looked a little upset but understood and apologized to me. I thanked him and I told him that we’re not going to let it ruin our weekend. He said ok and kissed me.

We  finally got to the restaurant after dealing with Friday night traffic; we were 35 minutes late for our reservation, they upheld our reservation and they took us in to the table Matteo had requested. The table was in the corner by the window - to  which I find out is a 6 month wait for that specific table - it made my heart warm to know that he was able to get the table and also in less than a week’s time.

It took no time for us to order our drinks, appetizers and entrees. I ordered a martini and he had a beer. Not long after we got our drinks, our cold antipasto and clams casino arrive. As we’re eating and drinking, our server brings out more drinks for us; I was surprised but I guess Matteo had arranged that we’d have our drinks come out as we were finished with the previous one. After our plates were cleared, our entrees came out; I ordered the homemade gnocchi with Bolognese sauce and he had filet mignon in a white wine sauce with mushrooms. Our food was SO DAMN GOOD! 

As we ordered dessert (chocolate mousse for me and caramel custard for him) and we ordered two entrees to go (homemade cheese ravioli parm for me and lasagna for him). We ended up sharing each other’s dessert, finishing our drinks. The owner came over with our packed second entrees as well as two 8 ounce glasses with 4 ounces of limoncello - an Italian digestif. I look at Matteo and he looked as confused as I did. The owner explained that he loves hosting young lovers because it reminds him of he and his wife when they were younger. We thanked him very much. When he left, our server came over with the check and I reached over to see the total and chip in; Matteo snagged the check out of my hands and gave his credit card to the server. I look at him weird and he said that he’s spoiling me this weekend. I sigh a big sigh and let it go. 

We head outside to wait for the limo and thankfully it wasn’t a long wait as it was incredibly cold. As usual, Matteo held my hand as I got in and he walked around to get in from the other side. I’m still shivering so he slid over to sit next to me and held me in his arms. I look up at him and smile, he leans down and kisses me deeply. The driver hits a button so the divider goes up. Matteo takes no time to slide the skirt part of my dress up and he’s surprised that I’m not wearing any panties. He leans down to my apex, beginning to lick and suck my apex. I squirm as he’s taking care of my apex. The limo stops not long afterwards and we get our clothes adjusted. Matteo hops out and walks around to help me get out of the limo. We both thank the driver as we head inside the hotel.

We dash into the hotel, hop in the elevator and head to our glorious room. We hurriedly get undressed - Matteo makes sure that I hang up my dress - and we make a mad dash to the bed. In no time, we’re under the blankets…kissing and our hands explore the body of the other. I roll onto my back, Matteo gets aligned to my apex and slides right in. I start to moan his name, asking him to thrust in me a little harder. He smiles, kisses me and begins to thrust harder in me.

In no time, we’re climaxing together…he bites the base of my neck so he doesn’t scream my name. His biting my neck turns me on; he’s still in me so I roll us over so I start sliding up and down his still hard penis. Matteo sits up so he can suck and squeeze my breasts. I can’t help but moan his name and start riding his penis faster. Seconds later we climax together again. 

I slide off of him and roll over to face him. He brushes hair off of my my face, he leaned in and kissed me deeply. We spent the next few hours making love and fall asleep for a little bit. When we woke up, we ate a little bit of the entrees we brought back with us. We go back to bed for a couple of hours. 

We wake up around 7 am, finish the entrees for breakfast and get ready for the day. I’m surprised that with how little I slept as I was up early on a Saturday! We took an hour long walk before we head back to the hotel’s parking garage so Matteo can take me to our home state for about an hour or so; I’d forgotten that I signed up to donate blood and I couldn’t cancel because I knew that my blood would help 3 people! 

We arrive -  it’s quick because I read, filled out and signed the forms the day before, I go through the screening, plop down on a bed like thing and in seconds I was hooked up. Found out that my blood was going 60 something per unit and it’s usually 50 something per unit (can’t remember what the “something” was as I was trying to get done quickly). About 10 minutes after being hooked up, I was done and went to the ‘canteen’ for 10 minutes to have some juice and cookies. I said that I’m good and I have someone driving me; the staff said ok and thanked me. I got out of the bus and Matteo was there with a can of soda and a box of my favorite cookies; I had to laugh.

We get in his car, I chug the soda and eat a handful of cookies. I fall asleep minutes afterwards and I wake up when we pulled into a spot at the hotel’s parking garage. We go to the room so I can brush my teeth and then we head back out. We walked all over and stopped at a food vendor on the street to get me ‘real’ food and a huge bottle of water. 

We stop at a few stores to look around and we ended up getting me a backpack so I can store whatever we bought in the bag as my normal sized purse isn’t big enough. We stop at a few museums but due to Covid, they had limited hours and you had to reserve your tickets for a specific time. Shame that we didn’t bother to look up info on the museums before we got there. 

So we stopped at a theater to catch a movie - it was one of those theaters that you can order food, soda and alcohol from your seat - it was a cute movie. I forgot to tell Matteo that I wasn’t supposed to drink alcohol until later in the day as my inner elbow might bleed after the booze and blood donation. Oh well. I got a little tipsy right away but I sucked it up and had the drinks that were ordered for me. 

After the movie ended, we walked around more in the city just to explore. We decided that we’d allow ourselves to get lost on purpose to make the day more fun and it worked. For those who don’t know me, I’m pretty directionally impaired BUT I’m not as bad as my sister!! 

After a few hours we got hungry so Matteo orders an Über to take us to a restaurant that he’d been to before. He asked if I liked food from a specific country in the Europe/Eurasian region; I said that I didn’t care for the food that much in that region but willing to go to a restaurant near where he planned for us to go. He knew of a Mexican restaurant a few doors down from where he planned for us to have dinner and I fully agreed with him on the Mexican food. 

We get there and both of our stomachs are growling. We get a table in the quieter section and our server comes over immediately. After he greeted us, in my Spanglish I ask him if he could please bring a pitcher of ice water over with the chips, salsa and guac. He was impressed that someone as white as I am is ok in Spanish; I giggled and told him that when I worked for brother, he had a ton of Hispanics/Latinos on staff that taught me.

A few minutes later we received the water, the chips, guac and salsa but he also brought over a plate of beans and rice. We thanked him and then we ordered carne asada, tacos, chimichangas, burritos and empanadas as well as two pitchers of their sangria. 

We had just finished up with our appetizers when the rest of the food and the two pitchers of sangria came; one was made with white wine and the other was made with red wine. I immediately grab the sangria with white wine and poured some in my 16 oz glass. Matteo laughed saying that was fine because he prefers red wine.

We split everything - not quite evenly - as I had most of the carne asada. The rest we did split fairly evenly. We couldn’t finish everything so we had it wrapped up and a few more things added so we could bring back to the hotel. Once the food came back, we ordered two orders of churros to eat in the restaurant and another two orders to go and we asked for another pitcher of sangria to go with our dessert. The server nodded and got the sangria out to us right away; thankfully it was made with white wine. Just a few minutes later, the orders of the churros came out - the churros were SO good that we scarfed the orders that were on the plate and we wanted to eat the other orders right away. 

The sangria got to us even though we ate plenty and had plenty of water. We eventually got the check but before Matteo looked at it, he gave the server his credit card. In minutes, the server came back with the credit card slip to be signed, Matteo’s credit card, two to-go cups with horchata (so yummy) and two more bags of food. We thanked him and he said the extra food and the horchatas were on the house so we weren’t charged for it. 

Matteo ordered an Über while I went to the bathroom and when I returned, the car was there waiting for us. We packed up, got into the car and headed to the hotel; on the way back to the hotel, I fell asleep in Matteo’s arms. When we got to the hotel, Matteo had to wake me up with a firm shake. I said “Yes, sexy!”. We grab the bags of food, our stuff and we get out of the car.

We make it up to the room by 9:30 pm. I get undressed, take a quick shower to get the city off of me, take out my contacts and get into bed. After Matteo put the food in the fridge, took a shower, brought the horchatas with him and joined me in bed. Both of us finished the horchata quickly and then I curled up in Matteo’s arms to fall asleep for a little bit.

About 30 minutes later, I wake up to Matteo stroking my hard nipples. I moan, flip onto my back and spread my legs for him. In no time he’s between my legs, thrusting his penis in and out of my apex. I reach up to rest my hands on his chest and he immediately got more turned on; he started thrusting in and out of me like there was no tomorrow…he didn’t let up one bit until we both climaxed together…he took his time shooting his essence in my apex.

While still inside of me, he rolls himself over so now we’re both on our sides, facing each other. He brushes my hair back and tells me the second time in the same week how much he loves me. He started to kiss me, stroking my apex and I kissed him right back but I pulled away after a few minutes. Matteo asked me what was wrong.

I said that I really do appreciate this weekend and that he was taking care of paying for EVERYTHING but I explained that I was feeling a bit used. He asked me in what ways so I told him that I feel like that he feels like because he's paying for everything that I need to spread my legs for him to "pay" him back. He asked if that's how I truly felt. I told him yes and told him again that I appreciate literally everything that he's done so far and what he's got planned for Sunday. He got up, called the front desk to request a new room; something significantly smaller as he needs a room to himself for the night and they oblige. He packs his stuff and goes down to get the keys. 

Ugh. I knew that I had made him mad but it wasn't my intention. I look at my phone screen to see what time it is. It's 3 am; check out is in 6 hours and my alarm is set for 7 am. I wished that I could get a little bit of sleep between now and 7 am but I felt bad that I made Matteo upset with me. I feel that it's important to share what you're feeling and thinking with someone that you may or may not begin a relationship with. I get out of bed and walk around the room to help clear my mind a bit. After a few minutes I go back to bed and I instantly fall asleep....I wake up a few minutes before my alarm goes off.

I get up, hop in the shower, then get dressed and grab everything of mine and stuff it in my bag. I take a look around to see if Matteo or I left anything and thankfully neither one of us did. I was halfway out of the door when I realized that I'd forgotten to take the food from the fridge! I grab my stuff and bring it back into the room with me and close the door behind me; I am a single woman and the last thing I need is to be harmed in anyway. 

As I'm grabbing the food out of the fridge I hear some loud pounding and some yelling. I am nervous so I slowly go to the door to look out of the peep hole; I don't see anyone but a shadow so I thought that I would wait it out for a few minutes before I'd call the front desk. I stand there kinda close to the door. I hear the pounding again and this time I recognize Matteo yelling my name. I open the door all the way and ask him what the hell he's doing by scaring me to death. He apologized profusely for scaring me; he said that he didn't see me in the lobby and thought that I was still asleep. I told him that he could've called me or texted me to see where I was; he agreed with me on that and said that I make a great point. I laughed because it was the first time in a long ass time that a man actually agreed with me. 

We head to his car to place our overnight bags in the trunk of his car and the food in a cooler with ice that he picked up before coming up to my room; he asks me where I want to go. I tell him that the ferry in this city is very famous, I'd never been on it and I'd like to give it a go. He smiled and said ok. We walked a few blocks to get to the ferry. The ferry is typically just for commuters and their vehicles but since we didn't have a vehicle with us, they let us on for free. While we were on the ferry and checking out the views, I'd realized that I forgot to take my birth control Saturday morning as well as that morning. I step away from Matteo and explain that my bff is calling and I wanted to take the call privately/separate from him. He nodded.

I walked away with my phone to my ear. As soon as I turned the corner, I put my phone in my pocket, grabbed my birth control to take 2 pills as well as an emergency contraceptive.....it's not that I don't want children it's just that I don't want to have children with him. I take the pills dry as I forgot that Matteo has a bottle of water for me. It was gross to take the pills without water as the pills dissolved a little bit in my mouth so I popped a mild breath mint (yes, I DID brush my teeth but I didn't want to taste of the pills in my mouth). Once I was all set, I went back to Matteo; he asked how everything was with my friend and I said that everything was ok. He smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me; I welcomed the kiss and kissed him back with everything I had.

After this kiss, Matteo pulled away and said that he wanted to explain his behavior from MUCH MUCH earlier in the morning. I nodded my head as an indication that he could proceed. He took a big breath and explained that yes, he did pay for everything so far this weekend because he knew that I hadn't worked much and money was tight, he felt bad that Vince was one of the number of jerks that had cheated on me and that he wanted to remind me that "real" men (like himself) don't cheat on whomever they're dating, they take care of whomever they're dating (or friends with) and that I deserved to be shown the world. He also said that he's sorry for making me feel that I owed him sex because he payed for everything and that he should've said something on Wednesday when he called me or when I met him at the hotel on Friday. He apologized for that and storming out at the ass crack of pre-dawn - he said that he couldn't give any excuses for his behavior.

I pull Matteo closer to me so I could kiss him deeply. I pulled a little too hard because his body was flush with mine and I could feel his penis hardening. He then remembered that he had a friend who lived in the city but was out of town for another day for work and that he had a key to the apartment. We get off the ferry sooner than either of us wanted to and he'd called his friend to let him know that we were heading to the friend's apartment; the friend said that it was fine and not to make a mess.....Matteo laughed and said that we don't make messes. The friend laughed hysterically and told us to have fun. As they hang up the phone, our Über arrived and dashed us off to the friend's apartment. We ran to the elevator, wished the elevator moved faster and finally got to the apartment. The door had just slammed shut as we were ripping our clothes off.

In no time at all, we were in the spare bedroom and on the bed, kissing and exploring each other's body with our hands. Matteo checked to see if my apex was wet and as soon as he knew, he spread my legs and started thrusting his penis in me. Seconds later, we climax together....still entwined with the other and he was still inside of me. I fall asleep for what felt like a few minutes and Matteo wakes me up by thrusting his penis in my tight ass He said he wanted to make love at least once more this weekend and now was when he saw his opportunity. I smiled, rolled over to my back and spread my legs and he enters me slowly...painfully slow!

He takes his sweet time, kissing me and exploring my body with his hands...he made sure that I enjoy myself as well. We eventually climaxed together, moaning each other's name. Matteo rolled to his side and I rolled to face him. He kissed me again and I welcomed it. I was ready to reach down and stroke his penis but he pulled away to look at the time. He said that it was close to 3 pm and he wanted to get home so he could finish his lesson plans for the week. We got dressed and I decided to throw the sheets in the washer but didn’t start it; Matteo texted his friend saying that I was trying to be a good guest by cleaning up.

We booked it back to the hotel to get Matteo's car. It was sad to leave as we both wanted to stay longer but we knew that it'd be better to be responsible so Matteo could keep his job and for me to continue looking for work. As we got on the road, Matteo shared that he wanted to keep the weekend going because he loved spending time with me and getting to know me...he rested his hand on my leg and I fell asleep on the way back to my house. 

He squeezed my knee gently to wake me up. I woke up and turned to him, he tells me how beautiful I am when I am asleep. I turned beet red....he doesn't know that I don't take compliments well but I thank him. We get out of the car, I gather my purse and its contents as he is struggling to get my bag out of the trunk. Once my bag is out, he grabs the cooler and helps me bring everything into the house. My parents say a brief hello and then they go back into the living room to give he and I space. We split all the left over food and he puts his back in the cooler. I walk him to the front door and we step outside for a little privacy. 

I hug Matteo and thank him profusely. He said that he was more than happy to treat me to a romantic weekend away, said that I deserved more romantic weekends away as I am an amazing woman and that any man would be lucky to be with me. I turned beet red again and thanked him. He leaned down to kiss me and I let him kiss me. I knew that my parents were watching through the window of the front doors but neither one of us said anything when we saw them looking at. I rolled my eyes at them and let Matteo leave. As he was walking away, I asked him to let me know when he got home safely. 

I go inside. My mom reminds me what she told me the week before - that Matteo and I would be dating - thinking that she out did me. I laughed rather hard, telling her that we're still NOT dating but just two consenting adults to a weekend away, enjoying ourselves and getting to know each other better. I could tell that my parents were disappointed in me that I was having sex with a male friend instead of a dating/marriage relationship (I was raised in a very Christian home) but they didn't say anything because they'd know that I'd tell them "My body...my choice!" and they know that it's true.  Not too long afterwards, I receive a text from Matteo that he is home safe and sound; I thanked him and let him go so he could get ready for work. 

I head upstairs with my bag to throw some of my clothes in my laundry basket and spent some time alone. I did end up napping for a bit before dinner. I changed into my sweats and brought down my laundry basket. I was really happy that Matteo took me for the weekend and he's 100% right that I do deserve weekends like that more often; I don't mind if it's with him again or someone that I am actually dating. 

He is right about another thing that he mentioned the weekend before when we went to the winery, the massage parlor and the jewelry store.....it's now in my head and my heart that I am beginning to like him in a different way. No, it's not because he's spending a TON of money on me but rather due to him doing what he says he's going to do, treats me with respect, him wanting to take care of me (like when I am getting in and out of a car or like when we have sex/make love) and seeing how much he cares for me. Personally, I don't want to say that he loves me because I don't know the full extent of how much he cares for me.

I finished up my laundry, grabbed my water and went upstairs for the night. I fell asleep thinking of the weekend and the amount of fun we had. I did miss being in his arms as we slept but I'd get over it until we go somewhere overnight.

Trying to move on

Since leaving Vince at the ass crack of dawn on Sunday, our mutual friends have told me how miserable Vince has been. I figured that it served him right as he now knows that he should've waited for me and I also hoped that he truly does work things out with his wife; not for him to be unhappy but for them to be happy together. As heart broken as I am, I know that moving on from him is the best move even though he's my soul mate; if he hadn't cheated but stayed faithful instead, I would've had as many children as he wanted. But c'est la vie. 

I had come back to my parents' Sunday to spend the night with them. They knew that Vince and I broke up towards the end of the summer and that he royally fucked up; they also knew that I'd just spent the weekend with him....they even know that he's married. They didn't say anything at all when I walked in. They just hugged me. My mom took what few dirty clothes I had and did my laundry while I went to bed for a few hours. I eventually woke up around noon, showered, got dressed and came down.

I had lunch and said that I was going over to our neighbor Brick's for a few minutes to see if he needed a hand with anything (I've been cooking and baking for him as his arthritis has been acting up; he's told me a number of times that if he were younger, he would marry me…. I always thought he was joking). His nephew was also over hanging out. We bull shitted for a bit and when Brick had stepped out of the room, Matteo asked if I was available on Monday to hook up and I said that I was free; we agreed on the time as Brick was coming back.....Brick was still a little upset that I ended the physical part of our relationship and he has stated in the past that he'd be jealous if he knew that I was hooking up with his nephew - although he didn't mind nor care in the past.

When I entered through the garage, my mom was looking a bit thrilled with herself. I didn't ask nor did I want to know. She said that Matteo got her number from Brick and that he, Matteo, had texted her (while he and I were figuring what time to meet up) that he had invited me over for Monday. It was rather obvious that Matteo didn't explain to her exactly WHY I was spending time with him; she knew that we were on friendly terms in college. She thought that I was going to start dating Matteo by the end of Monday. Unfortunately, I broke her heart then and there, explaining that despite him being rather attractive and smart, he was too much of a sports fan to talk of anything else other than sports and that was a major turn off for me. She was a little saddened by this but she accepted it....thankfully.

I took the dogs to the park in the afternoon for a walk to help clear my head and think about Vince's and I's activity over the weekend. Vince probably had thought that I was giving hope about a relationship with me in the future but by then - and after reading the letter - that he knew that I was there to get my jollies and to get full closure of our relationship. I realized during the walk that I was going to be hurt for awhile before I could fully move on but in the same time, the time alone to give me time to reflect, heal and grow....and if I wanted to, I'd enjoy myself in the company of a man that I trusted and respected and who had trust and respect for me as well.

By the time that the dogs and I got home, all of the dogs were all tuckered out; I had to wake them up when I pulled into the garage. They climbed out one by one, went up the few stairs leading from the garage to the house, and went to the water bowl where they drank. I ended up having to fill their bowl twice more. They then went to their beds (spoiled rotten doggos! LOL!!) and before I laid down for the rest of the afternoon, I washed their bowl out and filled it with fresh water for when they woke up.

Since I had my nicer version of my causal clothes at my parents' house, I raided my closet to figure out what I was going to wear to Matteo's; I knew food would be involved either by take out or dining in at a restaurant. It took me about 45 minutes; chose a smaller fitting bra, low cut shirt, jeans and leather knee high boots. After coming down after picking out my clothes for the next day, my parents and I had dinner, watched some TV and I went back upstairs and went to bed not much longer after coming up. I needed to catch up on some well needed sleep so I could be ready for Matteo. Thankfully, I slept like a log.

I woke up feeling rested and was looking forward to the day. As I was about to hop into the shower, Matteo called to ask if I could come over earlier as he has a few added plans for us and I said sure; he gave me the newer time to arrive. That changed my outfit a little bit for the day. Instead of wearing cute panties, I was going to wear a thong instead. I showered, got dressed, grabbed my charging cord & base as well as my travel chargers, my phone and my purse. My mom was beaming and said that Matteo asked for her permission to have me come over earlier - he even told her that despite me being of age, he wanted to show that he has respect for me as well as my family. I rolled my eyes....I knew that he was buttering her up to like him so she wouldn't find out what the real reason why were meeting up.

I ate and as I was grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge, Matteo called me and asked me to look outside. Once I did - and he saw me - he waved from the outside of a limo. I screeched and hung up on him. My mom came rushing over to see the limo and she gave me the head's up that he was walking to the door. He rang the doorbell and I opened the door; Mom was trying to look discreet by sitting on the couch in the living room. He came over, shook her hand and said that he was going to borrow me for most of the day. She smiled and said ok. I grabbed my keys out of my purse so I could lock the door on our way out. 

When we got to the limo, Matteo opened the door for me and held his hand out to help me get inside.....he knows me and my clumsy fat ass a little too well. I get in, he closes the door, walks around and gets in. He asks the driver to head to the first destination; a winery. I turned to him in shock and he smiled. He leaned over to kiss me and told me that I deserve it. I turn a million shades of red and thank him. It doesn't take long for us to get there and when we did, Matteo hopped out of the car to open the door and help me out. He said to leave my purse in the back and just to grab my phone and that's all I needed. I nodded and did as he suggested, taking his hand to get out of the limo. 

As I was out of the limo, I went to let go of Matteo's hand but he had a firm grip on my hand; I looked up at him with confusion on my face. He smiled, leaned down and kissed me again but this time on my mouth. Again I was shocked and inadvertently opened my mouth. He took this as an opportunity to kiss me deeper. I moaned, leaned into him and kissed him back; he, unfortunately, pulled away and said that there was time for more of that later and gave me a devilish smile. Still holding onto my hand, he led me into where we'd have our wine tasting. The entire room was covered with carnations and roses; two of my favorite flowers. The flowers were later sent to my parents' so they could go in water and stay fresh until I brought them back to my place.

"Matteo," I said. "What is this? Is this all for me?"

"Yes, baby," Matteo said. "This is all for you. I've wanted to share this with you for a long time but I knew that at one point you were in a serious relationship with someone and you had to end the relationship. I know that you're not ready for this nor me to tell you how much I care about you. This day is for you, babe."

I went into Matteo's arms and hugged him; his cologne was amazing. I pulled my head from his chest to thank him but I couldn't say anything at all as I was in awe of his surprise for me. He brushed some of my hair off of my face, kissed me and then led me to the wine. I knew that this is far from how he wanted to spend the day - as I know that he'd rather watch some sports and then spend the rest of the day in bed with me having sex. He did have fun though and enjoyed watching me ask the staff many questions and taste so much wine; he wasn't too far from me physically at all. 

At the conclusion of the wine tasting, Matteo led me back to the limo and said that he has another surprise or two for me that afternoon before we head to his place. I said ok and didn't ask any questions. We got into the limo and as we were headed to the next destination, Matteo slid me from where I was sitting on the other side of the limo to right next to him; he wrapped his arm around me knowing that I loved being held tight. 

We got to a high end massage place; the kind that you need to book appointments 6 moths to a year in advanced. I asked him how he got me in so fast. He corrected me by saying "us" and he said that a family member of his was the manager and helped him set this up. We were greeted and led into a room in the back. We went into our allocated room where we were greeted by two masseuses; both male. I raised my eye and he told me that it's ok; my glorious ass would be covered as would be my breasts. I said that I didn't care about that as much as I was worried about him being jealous or upset another man was touching me in front of him. Matteo reminded me that this man was a professional and wouldn't be inappropriate. I nodded and laughed.

Once the masseuses left, we got undressed, folding our clothes and climbed on the tables face down. Our tables were about a foot away from each other and he reached over to grab my hand. The masseuses came back in; they placed a towel on my backside as well as Matteo's glorious backside. The massages were wonderful and I'd fallen asleep during mine. After the massages, we got dressed and we were led through a few hallways and brought to this beautiful room that served as a "tea room". Matteo had already preordered for us; the cookies and the tea were wonderful. I couldn't stop thanking him enough for treating me. He said that he has one more trip before we get to his place. I couldn't believe it.

We got back into the limo and this time I slid next to him so he could have me wrapped under one of his arms. I'd fallen asleep in his arms and didn't realize we got to the last surprise before getting to his condo. Matteo wakes me up and we get out of the limo. We were at a famous jewelry store. I looked at Matteo.

"Matteo," I said. "Thought you were going to let me take my time to heal and move on? If you ask me now, you know what my answer is going to be."

"Babe," Matteo replied. "It's not what you think it is. Do I want to marry you? Fuck yes but you take all the time you need to. I know you've known him for over 20 years and he broke your heart. I want you to take care of you. I'll always, always be here for you no matter what. We're here because I want you to pick out a piece of jewelry that YOU like and want; the price doesn't matter."

I nodded and he let go of my hand. He gave me my space to look while he was talking to the staff. I loved everything that I looked at and tried on. Today was all too much; the wine tasting, the massage and now expensive jewelry. It took me an hour to go through the store and I made my decision. I walk back over to Matteo and let him know that I've made up my mind.

"What have you decided, Babe? What would you like from this store?" Matteo asked.

"You. Out of this entire store, I want you from this store. Everything here is gorgeous and any woman would be lucky to have a piece. I appreciate you spoiling me today and taking care of me. What I'd like to do is go to your condo," I said. 

Ok," Matteo said. "Let's go!"

As he took my hand and we were on our way to the limo, I saw him slide a beautifully wrapped box in his pocket. He didn't look mad or happy and that made me worried. He - obviously - spent a ton of time and money to plan the day to spoil me and I feel like I made him regret his decision. He helps me get in the limo, he climbs in and he asks the driver to take us home. The driver nods and heads to Matteo's.  I fall asleep where I sat in the limo and didn't wake when we got to his place. I don't remember getting carried up nor getting undressed but I woke up in Matteo's bed....naked....with him naked right next to gazing at me.

Matteo realizes I am awake and offers me some privacy; he gets up, puts on his robe and heads to the kitchen. I get up, shower, brush my teeth and grab one of his shirts to wear. I walk towards the kitchen and see him on his patio drinking coffee. He hears me, looks over and smiles at me. He gets up from his chair walks over to me, puts his coffee down and leans down to kiss me. I return the kiss as I pull him closer. I feel his erect penis against my body. I pull away, grab his hand and tell him to follow me.

On the way back to his room, I take off his shirt and he takes his robe off; leaving both on the floor. I get on the bed, in the center, and invite him up. He asks me if this is truly I want to do - on my own free will - I told him that I want to be with him right now because I want to be with someone who cares about me. He knows about how I spent my weekend and he didn’t care. He asked if I had stayed on my birth control faithfully and I said yes. He gets on the bed, sitting at my feet, stroking himself and asking me again if I want this. I spread my legs for him and tell him that I want this more than anything right now. 

He smiled and got himself situated between my legs. I look at his penis, I look at him and tell him that I am ready. He slides right in and we both moan. He looks at me to see if I'm ok. I nod my head yes and he starts thrusting in my wet apex. With each thrust, I moan his name. I flip us over so that I am now on top and riding him; he loves it. Matteo grabs my hips before I slide up and down his penis any faster. He lets go of my hips and grab my breasts. He sits up as I'm sliding up and down his penis and he starts sucking one of my nipples. I moan. 

He flips us over and slows down. 

"Yes, baby," Matteo said mid thrust. "You feel amazing, Deppgrl! Yesssssss, baby. I am so close!"

"Matteo," I moan and spread my legs further apart. "Yessss, baby. So am I."

A few more thrusts.

"Yesss, baby," we both moan together as we climax at the same time. We don't move but catch our breath. I can still feel Matteo's essence shoot into me. I bite my lip. Now he knows. Matteo starts to thrust to finish spilling his essence into me. In a few thrusts, he knows he's finished.

He slides out of me and rolls us to our sides. He holds me close to him. I twist my torso a little so I can kiss him; he opens his mouth and lets me in. He matches me kiss for kiss. I reach down to start stroking his penis and in no time, he's hard again. He tells me to put my face down and my ass up. I giggle when he says ass. I do as he says. He spreads my legs a little farther apart and slides his penis into my apex again. He thrusts harder and faster, moaning my name. I wiggle my ass a little bit but its hard as he's thrusting deep inside of me. He ignored it so I did it again.

"Fuck," he said. "Wiggle that ass of yours one more time, baby..."

"What?" I said as I wiggle my ass again and giggling. "Do this? Wiggle my ass? Do you hate it?" 

"I love it," he groaned. "You're killing me, smalls!"

He pulls out, I hear him spit into his hand, wipes the spit on my back door and spreads my legs even further apart. He slides into my ass....for the first time ever.

"Fuck," he screams my name as he's thrusting. "Your ass is so tight, baby! I can't take it. Fuck."

He thrusts a few more times before he climaxes and shoots his essence in me. When he's done, he pulls out and pulls me closer to him. He rolls me to my side so my back is leaning against his chest. He puts one arm around me. Within seconds, his breathing has slowed down and he's fallen asleep. I wait another minute to make sure that he's sound asleep before I get up.

Yep. He's out cold. I get up gently, go to the bathroom and then head to the kitchen to get some water. As I am heading back to his room, I see the box he'd slid into his pocket earlier has fallen out of his pants. I place the glass of water down and I go pick up the box. It's still wrapped. I am tempted to open it to look at it and wrap it back up and then pretend that I didn't see it.

"I was going to give that to you later," Matteo said. "I know that you're curious to know what exactly it is."

"Matteo," I said. "You surprised me. Thought you were out cold!"

"I am a light sleeper and woke up as you were climbing out of bed. I was waiting for you to return and there was only one of two things that would've prevented you from returning right away. One being the contents of that box. The other being that loser Vince texting you to beg you to take him back....that bastard doesn't deserve you."

"Yes," I said as I walked over to him to put the box in his hand. "I am curious to know what's in this box. And I don't care how many times he begs for me to come back, I won't. You owe me now that you've mentioned his name." 

Matteo winks and follows me back to bed, still holding onto the box that I am dreading. We get on the bed and we spend the next few hours making love. We're finally catching our breath when I realized that I didn't take my birth control that morning. Shit, shit, shit, shit!!!

I fly off the bed, I go to my purse and grab my birth control and an emergency contraceptive. I go back to the night stand and take the pills with my water. Matteo was looking at me funny and I explained. He looked worried for a second until I told him that I had also taken the emergency contraceptive. I went back to the bed and climbed under the covers, snuggling up to Matteo. 

He leaned back to his night stand to grab something. I realized that it was the dreaded box. As I sit up, I take the corner of the sheet to cover up. He knows that I’m nervous; he leans over and kisses me. I open my mouth and kiss him back. He moans and pulled away. 

“I wouldn’t have an opportunity to give this to you if we kept kissing,” Matteo said as he hands me the box. “I knew that you’d love it!”

I open the box and it’s a beautiful diamond ring. I looked at him with absolute confusion. 

“Baby, it’s not an engagement ring; I’d give you a bigger one. Look at inside of the band,” Matteo said. “I had the jeweler put the inscription in today.”

“‘Today is only the beginning 2/21/22’,” I read out loud. “You put our initials, too?”

I leaned over to give Matteo a kiss. He pulls away to put the ring on my right ring finger and leans in to kiss me. I wrap my hand around his neck to pull him closer. As he was kissing me, he shifted the sheets and then shifted to kneel between my legs. I reach over to start stroking his erect penis and he starts to moan my name…he’s close. I let go of him, he spreads my legs even further and slides his penis in my apex. I moan his name.

He takes it slow this time; paying attention to my curves, making sure I was pleasured first (AND thoroughly) and telling me how much he loves me. I climaxed screaming his name over and over again. He climaxed moments later and kept thrusting in me to drain himself of his essence. I tell myself that when I get home that I’ll take another emergency contraceptive.

We lay in each other’s arms for a little while. I told him how much I appreciated the day, appreciated the activities and appreciated his interest in me. I told him that I wish I could reciprocate my feelings for him right now but I needed to focus on me. He said that he understands and that he won’t pressure me at all.

I got up and got dressed because I knew he had to get ready to teach the next day. Neither one of us wanted me to leave but he’d need sleep before going back to school….he wouldn’t get any sleep if I stayed. Matteo let the driver go hours ago so we got dressed so he could drive me home. 

As he did with the limo, he held the door open for me, held his hand out to help me get in and get out of his car and held the door for me when he brought me home. I was going to head to the front door but he stopped me. He pulled me in close, kissed me with such passion and stopped; something caught his eye. We turned around to find that it was Brick and he was mad. 

No one said anything for several minutes. Brick said he wished someone told him that Matteo and I were a couple. I turned to Brick and that we weren’t but it’s a possibility; I’d left a toxic relationship with a man who cheated on me, Matteo always loved me but hadn’t said anything until today. I could tell that Brick was becoming more livid  

I stood in front of Matteo. I told Brick that there wasn’t anything but sex between he and I for a year and that it was on and off depending on what my relationship was with Vince at the time; I reminded Brick that he and I had talked about my relationship with Vince MANY times and how much I loved Vince. He nodded his head that he remembered. I told Brick that he was a good man and a good friend to me. 

Brick asked me about Matteo. I said that Matteo is very kind, quite generous person, friend and potential lover; there could be something in the future but I needed to get over the pain that my ex fiancé caused. I felt Matteo squeezing my hands. I asked the both of them not to fight over me because if they do, I’ll walk away from them both. They agreed and Brick left…he was hurt.

Matteo walked me to the front door, leaned down and kissed me. I kissed him back. He dropped to his knees, grabbed both of my hands and leaned his head on my stomach….I began to panic and think that he’s proposing to me…he knew what I’d say if he asked me now. After a couple of minutes, he looked up at me and then stood back up.

“People can have more than one soulmate, baby,” Matteo said. “I’ve felt for years that you are mine. After today, you have it in your head and also in your heart that I’m your forever soulmate. You need to heal and focus on you. Take all the time in the world; I’ll always be waiting for you and always a call away. I love you so much, baby girl, I know you love me too.”

“Matteo,” I said. “Thank you for a beautiful day and showing me the ways that you love me. You’re a generous man and a very generous lover. I’ll never ever forget today. I do admit that I care deeply about you and I hope that one that I can reciprocate your love.”

“I’ll wait for that day, my love,” Matteo said. “I have the engagement ring already; I picked it up today at the jewelry store while you were looking. It’ll be in my pocket every day until the day you tell me that you love me.”

He leaned down and kissed me. I wrapped both of my arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist and he brought me flush to his body; I felt everything from his muscles to his hardening penis. I moaned. Fuck, I wanted the man right then and there not caring it was outside where people could see. I pulled him a little closer to the house and with one hand, I massaged his penis over his jeans and in no time he climaxed. He pulled away, smiling and called me an evil, evil woman. We both laughed. 

He leaned down and kissed me on my cheek, wishing me a good night.

One final weekend

I promised myself that I wouldn't and I told myself that I knew better but I had moment of weakness.....I take that back; I had a weekend of weakness. 

Remember when I had said that I had cut Vince off from my life? Well, I didn't entirely until I snuck out of his place early Sunday morning. Yes, he's still married. Yes, I know that I am going to hell. His wife had moved out about a month ago but he didn’t share the reason nor did I ask; the less that I know about their issues, the better off I am. 

I arrived on Friday evening and he had ordered food to be delivered not long after I arrived; glad that he’d ordered Mexican…I don’t get to eat it often enough. I love it but it gives me wicked bad heartburn. We smoke a little weed and drink as we eat to help settle our nerves. It was his first time smoking weed so it kind of funny to watch; I joked that this is where we “puff puff pass”. He cracked up laughing hysterically. We ate a bit of food and put the rest of the food in the fridge and finished cleaning up. 

We watch tv as we had more drinks. He wanted to know what was going on with me and I told him that he lost that right to know the second he cheated on me; my personal life is off limits to him. He apologizes, I accept. We watch a little bit more tv as I make us more drinks and we finish watching an episode of my favorite show. He leaned over as the credits were running and kissed me. I pulled away. I knew what he wanted and this is exactly the reason why I was over for the weekend. 

I stood up, he followed suit and he walked over to me. He kissed me again and I let him. I open my mouth to let him in, wrap my one hand around his neck to pull him closer and push my body against his. He matches me kiss for kiss as his hands slide up my shirt; his hands were wandering, moving non stop. He moves to take my shirt off, sliding it over my arms and head; I unbuttoned his shirt, run my hands over his muscles and slid his shirt off. We pull away from each other, panting, looking at each other…

“Yes?” Vince asked me and I whispered back saying that I want this too. We rip off the rest of our clothes, he leads me to his bedroom, he goes to his nightstand to pull out a condom and I get on the bed. He opens the wrapper and asked me what I wanted.

“Top,” I panted. “I want to ride you, Vince. I want to ride you so you know what you’ve lost!”

He rolled the condom on, I straddled his ready….member…and slide down. We both moan; I’d forgotten he was bigger than I remembered and he felt how tight I was; he lost this wet apex forever. Vince grabs onto my hips and I ride his member like crazy. In no time, he finished and came so hard the condom broke…..I didn’t care as I’m on birth control. I could feel him shoot his essence in me. I ride him for a few more minutes so I could finish as well. 

I climb off and flop down on the bed to catch my breath, he pulls off the condom and throws it in the direction of the garbage can. He gets up to gets us both a bottle of beer…when he comes in the room, he noticed my eyes were closed and placed the bottoms of the cold beers on my nipples; it feels so good that I moan. I sit up and take the beer he offered. I take a few sips and ask if he wants to smoke a little bit more and he accepts. As I’m drinking my beer, I get my supplies, he opens the window a crack. 

I hand him a thickly rolled joint and once it’s in his mouth, I light him up and I follow suit with an even thicker joint for myself. We’re smoking, drinking and talking. In no time, I finished my joint and ended up finishing his as well. Once I’m done, I lay down on his bed; he crouched by my apex and he uses his tongue and teeth. I moan as I let him take care of my apex for a little bit; he’s ok but I’ve had better. He gets up and I start stroking his ready member; I know he’s close as he’s making THAT face. He grabs a condom from the drawer, gets on the bed, rolls on the condom and situates himself between my legs…..he’s looking up to the heavens as it appears that he’s praying to whatever god he believes in and whomever he prays to. 

He slides in, we both moan. He pulls completely out and slides in again; we moan. He pulls out one more time and slides back in; he finally begins to thrust. As he’s pounding into me and concentrating on not finishing in the first minute or two, I wrap my arms and legs around him, push off with the one elbow and flip us so I’m back on top again. This frustrates him; he pushes me off harder with his full strength. He pushed me hard enough that I hit the bed post with my back….I held my breath for a moment or so, trying to gather myself and not cry. The angle that I hit the post with my back hurt so much. He asked if I was ok and in any pain. I said that I was “fine” but I didn’t tell him the pain was significant and that it’s slowly dissipating; I knew that I would be in pain for a few days. I scoot back up to him and he holds on to me - still hard as a rock. He knew to a certain extent that I wasn’t fine.

I reach over to his member and start stroking him; I ask if he’s ready and he said he was. I lay on my back, spread my legs and he slides in; his member stretching me. His thrusting is slow and steady. As he’s thrusting, his hands wander over to my breasts; he’s squeezing, massaging and sucking….I moan in pleasure. I spread my legs a little further apart and lift my hips a few inches. He starts thrusting harder and faster as he’s squeezing my breasts tighter and tighter. In no time we climax together; he’s thrusting as he’s still shooting his essence in me. 

We lay in each other’s arms for a little bit. He slides out and notices that the second condom has broken; he asks if I’m on the pill and I said I was. He sighed with relief but I knew deep down inside of him, he still wants children with me. He detangling himself from me to get us some wine; I tell him to forget the glasses. He laughs and gets the wine. I sit up and cover myself with his sheets….not like he hasn’t seen me in all of my glory before. I decided to get more weed. When he gets back, we pass the wine back and forth and the joint between us and had small talk. 

After splitting the bottle between us and I finished the last mouthful, I hand him the wine bottle and roll to my side. He gets up and puts the bottle on the dresser; I hear his drawer open and I hear a tiny rip. I feel him get back on the bed, the sheets moving and him moving closer. He takes a second to roll the condom on before pressing his body into my back. He moves my hair from my shoulders and neck, kissing my neck and shoulders and his other hand roaming my body. He grabs my leg and gently pulls it towards him and slides right back into my apex. I’m a little sore but I don’t tell him that; I just let him enjoy my body for one of the last days he ever will. 

My apex is even tighter than normal when I have sex in this position and it squeezed Vince’s member hard enough that Vince wants more; he NEEDS more. He rolls us so I’m on my stomach and he helps me lift my hips and back off the mattress. It got a little hazy here with the amount of weed, beer and wine I had; I do remember telling him what I wanted him sexually but I don’t remember everything. Before you dear readers think he put something in the wine or the weed, impossible! He would’ve been affected by whatever he put in the alcohol and I had pre-rolled the joints hours before I arrived. And despite it being a little hazy, but I DID consent. 

I woke up a few hours later, clear headed; I got up to use the bathroom and to get a glass of water. I’d noticed on my way back to the bedroom that Vince was sleeping on an air mattress in the living room. I woke him up and told him to come back to bed with me; he tried to tell me he was happy on the air mattress but I told him that I knew better because he’s ancient. He got up, took my hand and went back into his bedroom with me. After making sure I was on the bed, he walked around to the other side, got in and pulled me close to him with both arms wrapped around me; one hand playing with my nipples and the other hand playing with my apex. 

I wake up to the sun in my face and still wrapped in Vince’s arms. I move by accident and it woke him up; he started playing with my nipples again. I moan in pleasure. We untangle from each other, I roll onto my back as he reaches for another condom but I tell him to skip it. That made his member harder and he came over to my side of the bed as fast as he could; he lined himself up with my apex and slid in slowly. He started thrusting slowly and steadily but I was moaning his name and begging him to go deeper; he started thrusting harder and faster, holding onto my breasts for dear life. The more I moaned his name, the harder he thrusted. Seconds later we climaxed together. He rolls off saying he’d get breakfast started. I got up, took my birth control pill, brushed my teeth and showered. As I was getting dressed, he came up behind me grabbing my hips, pulled me closer and nibbled my neck, placing 2 fingers in my ass. I got undressed SO fast, got back on the bed and spread my legs for him again. He laughed and joined me in bed. 

We ended up skipping both breakfast and lunch and had hours of sex instead. He had me in the bed, on the couch, the kitchen counters and table, in the shower and on his patio. Thankfully, no one lives near him to see us nor hear us. Afterwards, we showered and ate. Vince was grateful that I had decided to stay for the weekend but I did have to remind him that despite this weekend...he's still married and that after I left, we would no longer be in contact any further as the relationship is toxic. He was upset but understood. We talked more about why he cheated on two women and claimed that he loved us both until he realized that marrying his wife was a mistake.

I told him that where I stood back then and where I stand now is that I was hurt, offended, shocked and humiliated.....I felt that I was the only one and he lied to me to make me believe that I was; I'd gone through his phone many times and there wasn't anything there....no apps, no emails, no texts, no photos....nothing.  He said that he had deleted her info before getting back together with me but memorized her number and that he'd delete things before he was with me. He explained that he knew us both about the same length of time but was in a relationship with her before I turned 18, they had broken up years ago and they recently realized that they still cared for each other when he and I started back together; he wasn't sure who he'd have stronger feelings for until he married her while waiting on me to answer him when he asked me. They'd been married about 3 or 4 weeks before I gave him my answer and he learned from his mistake then; he tried to divorce her but she refused to sign the paperwork. When she found out about he and I, that's when she called me to figure out who I was and what I was to Vince.

Of course, like my previous cheating ex, Vince had denied it at that time. Now, Vince was sharing why; he claimed that he was in love with me but anxious to get married so he rushed into it with his wife thinking that I'd never answer him. By the time I did answer him, he was in too deep, tried to get out of it with her and had accidently left his phone open near her. He claims that he didn't want to hurt me even though he now realizes that he did. I grabbed my shoes, threw on my sweatshirt, grabbed my keys - which still has a spare key for Vince's place - and my phone.

I left and decided to take a walk. To a certain degree, I believed him. On the other hand, most of what he's saying feels like lies. I still care for him very much and will always love him so I am conflicted what to believe or not. The walk helped me decide what to do; I'd finish the weekend with him and leave early in the morning. When I came back, that is exactly what I told Vince I'd do.  He was clearly upset and I said that he's getting more than he deserved right then; he should feel lucky. 

I opened up a bottle of wine, took a wine glass, grabbed a book from my overnight bag, poured a glass and took the book, the glass and the bottle to the couch in the living room. I curled up on the couch and started reading. I lost track of time while reading until I realized that I finished the bottle of wine and the book was halfway finished. I got up to open another bottle and brought it over to where I was set up. I didn't see Vince while I was reading nor while getting the second bottle of wine. About thirty minutes later, he came over bringing food; he had a charcuterie board of my favorite meats and cheeses. Obviously, he was trying to butter me up and try to get me to stay in his life.

I thanked him for the food as I snacked and drank the wine. I was giving him the cold shoulder and he understands why. He brought over water so I wouldn't feel the effects of the wine in the morning. After dropping off the bottle, he kissed the top of my head. I put the bookmark in my book, looked up at him and asked him what the kiss was for. He said that he kissed my head because he felt like it and it was his way of apologizing. I stood up, walked over to him, put my hand around his neck and drew his head towards me. Once he leaned in, we started to kiss; I opened my mouth to let him in. He began to kiss me deeper then he pulls away for a second. He tells me he wants to pack up the food so I should get back to reading for the moment. 

Once I open my book, I immediately got sucked back into the story and didn't realize how much time went by when Vince came back to get me. By the time Vince returned, I’d finished off the second bottle of wine and started a third bottle. He lead me by the hand to his bedroom. This is the one time - in a long time - that he did something that showed me that he cared for me other than sex and cooking for me. Unfortunately, it was too late; far, far too late. He had candles and flower petals all over his room and he had one of my favorite lotions.

He began to kiss me and I started to undress and it didn't take me too long. I wanted to undress him but he pushed my hands aside and told me to lie down on the bed - ass down, face up -so I did. He placed some lotion in his hands and started to massage my body starting with my breasts. I knew that I was going to like this massage! As he continued along my body, this made me realize why I fell in love with him so many years ago. When he was done with my front, I turned onto my stomach. He took his time with massaging from my shoulders down to my feet. His hands felt really good and I moaned....which turned him on. When he was done, he placed a heavy blanket over me, he undressed and joined me in bed. 

We started kissing, our hands were roaming over the other's body and he rolled me onto my back. He crouched towards my apex; licking, sucking and biting, using his tongue to pleasure me. I wanted to close my legs around his head to keep him there but he needed to breathe lol. Vince came up for air, spread my legs a little wider and he slid his hard penis into my wet apex so easily and he had to stop for a second; I knew that he was close to climaxing. He started thrusting into me again, so slowly and so passionately; kissing me and my body as he was deep inside of me. One more thrust and we climaxed together. Vince didn't stop and didn't want to waste time....he knew in a few short hours I was walking away forever.

He turned me to my side, laid down behind me and entered my apex from behind; thrusting deeper with each stroke. I couldn't stop moaning his name over and over again. Each time I moaned his name, he thrust harder and deeper. He reached around with both arms, grabbed both of my breasts to squeeze and massage....he didn't stop squeezing and massaging as he was thrusting in me. 

While still thrusting in me, he flipped us over so I was on my hands and knees. Vince grabbed my hips and started to drill my apex like there was no tomorrow. I was screaming his name and he was thrusting harder and harder for what seemed like forever. We climaxed together and fell into each other's arms, panting and trying to catch our breath. After a bit, I heard his breathing slowing down, I untangled myself, gathered my clothes that were on the floor, folded them and put them on the dresser. I started to pack my stuff. I looked at the clock. It was 11 pm. I reminded myself that I have 6 more hours with him. 

In my bag, there was a bottle of warming lube. I took it out and brought it with me to the bed. I pour a little bit on my hands and start stroking him. In no time, he was awake and hard. Vince picked me up and tossed me on the bed. He sat between my legs as he sucked, squeezed and bit my breasts. Once he knew I was ready, he slid into my apex again. In a few strokes, we climaxed together again and he was ready for me minutes later.

We didn't stop making love through the rest of the night and went through many condoms; several LARGE boxes worth. By the time we were spent, it was nearly time for me to leave. I was in his arms again, watching him sleep; part of me didn't want to leave him and part of me didn't want to say good bye to him forever....but I knew that it was for the best. Once I knew he was asleep, I untangled myself from his arms for the umpteenth time and got dressed. I grabbed a letter that I wrote for Vince and left it next to him where I was sleeping. I didn't want to break his heart like he broke mine but in the letter, I did break his heart....it was as gentle as possible which is much more than he deserved. I reminded myself to take the spare key to his place of my keychain and left the key with the letter.

"Vince,

My love, my life. By now you know that I'm gone. I slipped away early this morning. I didn't want to leave it like this but I knew if I said this face to face with you, neither one of us would want to let go. We had a wonderful number of years together, our love was true at one point. I wanted to marry you with all of my heart but we both knew I wasn't ready to do so. You got scared that you'd be unmarried when you died so you married your other woman....or was I the other woman? It doesn't matter who the ‘other’ woman was anymore. 

You're married to someone else because you didn't want to wait until I was ready nor did you want to die alone. I don't blame you for being unsure if I'd be ready. I forgive you for that. I don't forgive you for betraying my love and betraying my trust for you. Even if you hadn't married your wife, I would've given you the engagement ring back and ended the relationship as I lost all trust in you. We wouldn't have survived; trust me on this.

I will always love you and I will always dwell on our good times....I will always cherish this weekend that we had. Vince, you know that it's time for me to walk away. I can't be in your life anymore. Yes, it's because you cheated on me for who knows how long, betrayed my love and betrayed my trust. It would be EXTREMELY hard for you to regain my trust to the point where I'd trust you again. There's no way that either of us would be in a relationship - with each other or with other people - where there was no trust.

Vince, I loved you then, I love you now and I’ll always love you. I won't stop loving you. It's time for me to say goodbye to you and it's time for me to move on. No matter how you feel for me now or in 5 years, please don't reach out to me again. I've got everything set up that by 12 noon today to have my phone number change, my email will change and I am moving. My loved ones and our mutual friends will not give you my personal information. My one request of you is this.....try to make things work out with your wife. I know that you feel like it's a big mistake being married to her but I know that if you work on the marriage WITH her, the marriage will work.

I love you forever, Vince.

Deppgrl"

I took my birth control and a morning after pill, gathered my things and left without looking back. I left my heart with my soul mate.