Luscious Men: A Dog's Tail

So I was dog & house sitting for my friends this weekend. I don't mind  dog or house sitting but I'd prefer a house with central air. I'm just saying.
Friday evening was going well with the dog so I take her on a walk. We're minding our business walking on the main street in town when up walks 3 men. They stand well over 6 feet tall, all muscular as all get out & very intimidating. I get a little uneasy & try to pass, all unnoticing the dog until she starts barking. They see that she's a pit bull & bull dog mix. The book it out of there like a bat out of hell.
After they left, I was approached by 2 very drunk guys who were eyeing the dog. They were asking me to go to the local bar down the street. I said no. They told me to take the dog into the bar with me. I said no again & left - heading in the opposite direction of the house so they wouldn't follow me then took a dark alley to cut back to the house. Once getting to the house, I sighed with relief.
Saturday with the dog & house was pretty uneventful until last night. After taking the dog for a walk & for her to do her "business" we go back into the house to call it a night.
The dog is locked in the kitchen (I'm allergic to pets with dander), I go upstairs to brush my teeth, take out my contacts, read a little bit on my ePad & text my best friend.
All of a sudden, I hear the dog barking & the front door. I was mentally going through what I did downstairs before going up. The sliding door was locked as well as the front door.
The light downstairs gets turned on & the dog stops barking. I grab my purse, my ePad, it's charger, my cell & it's charger to make my way to hide in the closet.
I call the cops, explaining that I'm house sitting & the ONLY one in posession of the house key.....I tell the dispater that I think the front door is open & that there's a pit bull - bull dog mix inside the house & that I'm hiding in the closet in the last bedroom.
The cops are at the house in less than 3 minutes. They announce that they're there. While I'm in the closet the handcuff the person that broke in & they come get me out of the closet. They tell me that the person who picked the lock "claimed" that he & his wife rent the house and want me to identify who the person is.
I agree. I put on my glasses & go downstairs with the one cop. I said to the cops that it IS my friend who rents the house with his wife. Appearently his phone died on his drive back to get his wallet so he couldn't call me to ask me to unlock the door.
He gets released from handcuffs & grabs his wallet that was wedged between a chair & the wall. The cops leave & my friend is profusely apologizing for scaring the hell out of me. I tell him not to worry. He's on his way back to the campground 25 minutes away.
Before going to bed, I call my best friend to let him know that all is ok.
I'm sad to say that I did NOT come across any luscious men....even with the cops. Hopefully, I'll have a better opportunity this week.