After being unemployed for 13 months - going on 14 months - it’s taken a toll on me emotionally. I’m a self admitted introvert; I don’t do well in groups of 5 + people (excluding myself), going out exhausts me mentally and physically. You get the point. I take my dogs out for a walk a few times week, I go grocery shopping - with 2 masks! - I visit with friends but outside.
I had texted my friends/family that I talk to literally 100 times a day every day on Tuesday that I’m just taking a few days to myself; I just needed to be by myself. I explained that everything is ok but I wanted the time to myself to reflect; I wanted to read some books, self reflection, write to get things out of my mind (so I could actually fall asleep right away instead of 1,000 different positions and 100 sacrifices to the sleep gods). They were COMPLETELY supportive of my decision; they all have agreed with me that self care/self love is super important - more so now than ever because of Covid. Of course, I chatted with the relatives I live with and they gave me the space/privacy when I asked for it. I did come into contact with Brick yesterday but it wasn’t for more than 3 hours (about 90 minutes helping him out at his house plus the 90 minutes that he had dinner with us last night).
It was great that I had the time to myself; it made me realize that even though I spend hours a day applying for jobs, I still spend time cleaning someone else’s house (my relatives’ house), listen to friends/family and be there for them emotionally. It made me realize that it’s ok to love them and be there for them, but I need to stop being there for them as much as I am; I literally do NOT turn my phone off (unless it’s updating), I respond to emails/texts within a few minutes, I get woken up at all hours of the night to be there…..I’ve also been woken up at 2 am to go pick up a friend (and even a friend’s sibling) up at a bar/club/party because they’re too drunk to get home.
I’m going to slowly implement boundaries; no calling/texting after 1 am (unless it’s a life or death emergency), emailing at any time is fine but I’ll wait until the morning to look at, read and reply to the email, if they and/or a sibling are too drunk to drive home from a bar/club/party/whatever and need a ride, I will get an Über or Lyft to them and if they feel like there’s a need to repeatedly call/text me just to tell me something, I’m calling them out and telling them that’s an abuse to my willingness to listen - they can call/text once, tell me what’s going on and I will respond to them when I have a moment instead of when they want my response.
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