Sunday, June 27, 2021

I’m a little conflicted

Vince reached out to me one and half weeks ago to tell that he’d just retired from teaching and wanted to see if I wanted to meet up with him to celebrate (and thought that maybe I might spend the night or two nights). I thanked him for the offer but I’d have to think about it….thankfully I didn’t have to mention that we ended badly last time as he clearly understood my point. He’s not stupid but a little dense when it comes to me; I wanted his love, respect and trust but instead he was “trying” protect me from a previous lover which, clearly, I didn't need. 

I replied to him around 8 pm Thursday night that I'd come over Friday night for dinner and spend at least one night with him. He was grateful that I responded and said that he'd get his place ready for me; I knew that he was frustrated that I gave him about 24 hours notice of my arrival but he didn't say anything about that….which is pretty surprising. I could tell that he was frustrated because I usually give him  a few days in advanced notice of shit, this time I didn't. Considering that we're both neat freaks (one more than the other in certain areas), he didn't have the time to thoroughly clean his place.....he vacuums every day, washes his sheets and towels every 3 to 4 days, dusts 3 to 4 times a week, maintains the cleanliness of his bathroom although he practically sterilizes his bathroom twice a week. I was half tempted to send someone I know who cleans houses to help him out but I chose not to as I know that his place is super clean and he knows that I don't expect him to clean his place like a drill sergeant would expect him to.

I arrived at his place around 6 pm/6:15 pm Friday night. I have enough clothes get through Sunday mid afternoon; just in case. We ate (he cooked), split a few bottles of wine, watched a movie and went to bed to have sex. When we had sex Friday night, he made it all about me…he didn’t want me to return the favor - at first I was confused and then I was like: “Fuck YES! It’s about me and my pleasure tonight!”. It was great to have sex with him again and it helped us to reconnect physically again. I missed that connection with him. Afterwards we had fallen asleep...until the chirping of my phone woke me up. Should've turned the damn thing off.

It’s the ass crack of dawn Saturday morning. Just received a few texts from V…..you know the guy who worked for my brother and I was his mistress for like 2 years? Yeah. That sexy bastard. That sexy bastard that I wanted to have sex with almost every single damn day of my life. The sexy bastard had a fight with his wife as she found out about us (he drunkenly told her awhile back) and was drunk while texting me, complaining about his wife being so far up his ass about our past and that he was currently texting me right in front of her. I got so fed up with him and his current behavior that I told him to shut the hell up as I was in another man's bed getting my needs taken care of. Thankfully - despite being drunk - he got the clue and stopped texting me. Not only did I block him but I turned off the ringer by putting it on silence as I didn't want to wake up Vince. I fell asleep moments later.

A few hours later, I woke up and got ready for the day....Vince was still fast asleep. Lucky retired bastard. I started making myself a bowl of cereal and THAT woke up Vince (and how did my phone chirping at ass crack of dawn NOT wake him up????). He stumbled into the kitchen butt naked and getting ready to make coffee when he realized that I already did. The old man (what? he's 19 years older than me!), chugged a few mugs - mumbling that I kept him up past his bed time last night - and went in to kiss me....I said not unless his teeth have been brushed and he had been showered as I'm a stickler for good hygiene and he grumbled for not being able to kiss me. 

As he was showering and getting ready for the day, I called up an acquaintance of mine to ask him to make a picnic set up for two people and he'd asked what was needed in it. I told him that 3 bottles of expensive wine, wine glasses, Italian meats and cheeses, 2 loaves of bread, some Italian desserts and a bottle of water. He said that it'd be ready in about 15 to 30 minutes, I thanked him and said that I was sending a courier over with a picnic basket; he chuckled and grumbled that OF COURSE that's something I would do. I explained that the courier would wait until everything was loaded up, would give him the cash that I provided to pay my acquaintance and then he'd be on his way. My acquaintance asked who I was with and I told him that it was Vince....he laughed and said that the picnic was on him and that I was indebted to him as one Italian to another. I laughed and we hung up the phone. 

I was getting ready when the courier rang the doorbell. I offered the basket and a few hundred dollars for my acquaintance for his work and gave him a lasagna - that I made and had planned to heat up for dinner that night - to give to my acquaintance as a return of the favor. As he left, Vince popped out looking pretty nice; jeans, a polo shirt and his leather jacket for his motorcycle. He asked who was at the door and I said another favor and he groaned; I said that I was joking, that I had a plan for that afternoon and that he needs to take his allergy meds. He grumbled - yet again! - grabbed MY coffee (that bastard!!!), went to the bedroom, took his meds and came back out to see me take the basket from the courier and me push the poor man out the door. Vince laughed and finally saw what I was wearing....Skin tight skirt, a low cut shirt, my old riding boots (knee length, of course!) and my leather jacket. He knew it was a big afternoon planned. Before we left, I dumped my purse into a leather backpack type of purse.

We went to his motorcycle, I attached the basket and a blanket (with special attachments from the motorcycle company), he hopped on his bike, I followed suit and told him to go to some farmland that had once belonged to my family. He said that would be trespassing and I explained that I have permission to go whenever I want and that I don’t need to call ahead. He seemed a little bit in awe and grateful at the same time. It took no time to get there as it was close to where Vince lives. We hopped off of his motorcycle, gathered up the blanket and the basket and we went on our way to my favorite field; it used to have a horse barn and paddock but it’s now filled with daisies and a variety of other wild flowers as well as plenty of shade for my pasty white ass.

It took us 10 minutes to walk to my favorite spot, we spread the blanket out and as we ate, we caught up with each other and discussed where we saw where we saw each other in the future. We were able to repair our past a little bit as we were eating and Vince said that he hoped we could start dating again. I was a whole lot of surprised what Vince suggested and I shared with him my concerns of him trying control me, his jealousy when I was with male friends, giving me space when I ask for it, being there when I needed it and for him to actually trust me when I'm with my male friends. He understood and said that it’s definitely something that he’d work on in counseling and with me. Vince leaned over and kissed me.

I gently grabbed his shirt collar, pulled him closer to me and kissed him harder. He came over, taking his clothes off as we were kissing. He gently laid me on my back, lifting my hips and lifting my skirt past my hips and noticed that I wasn’t wearing any panties. He kept my hips in the air and clamped his mouth around my apex…he ate my apex like he hadn’t eaten in days; he was using his tongue and teeth…holy crap I was in heaven. In my entire life, I have NEVER ever been eaten like that before!

He finally put me down, spread my legs and slid inside of me…. It took a few seconds for him to get adjusted in order to fit inside; the afternoon was different from the night before. Once he was settled, he pumped in and out of me like his life depended on it…I couldn’t help but moan and scream his name; I wrapped my arms around him and didn’t want to let him go. He helped me roll over and he took me from behind…he grabbed my hips and he fucked me hard and fast; I was screaming his name. I loved feeling his  pulsating penis in me and make me feel this good. We finished together, turning to our sides - still connected - and laid like that for I don’t know how long as we both fell asleep.

I woke up in a jolt. I’d forgotten to take my birth control pill that morning. I gently pulled away from Vince as he was still inside of me. I immediately dug into my bag to find an emergency contraceptive pill, opened the foil pack, popped the pill into my mouth and chugged some water, hid the foil pack in a a smaller compartment of my bag. I woke up Vince but he seemed a little bit annoyed that I wasn’t in his arms: I fixed my skirt, he got dressed and we packed up our things and headed out. He attached the basket and blanket to his motorcycle; he gave me a hand to help me on his motorcycle. 

Once I was on, Vince leaned in and gently kissed me. I kissed him back, gently biting his lip so he'd open his mouth, which he did; he leaned in even further and kissed me harder. Vince couldn't wait any further so he got on in front and I wrapped my arms around him and he brought us back to his place. It didn’t take long as he sped; we hurriedly unloaded his motorcycle, went inside leaving the basket and blanket in the living room and we headed to his bedroom to finish what we started in the field and the bike. I did take one second - discreetly - to take the birth control pill that I’d forgotten to taken that morning.

It was a couple of hours later before we left his bedroom; we’d taken our time, finishing the wine plus others we opened when we returned, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. When I took a shower, Vince had called my brother (no big surprise there!) asked him to come on over. Ugh, I love my brother but this wasn’t the time for him to come over; it was time for Vince and I to enjoy each other physically and emotionally. In no time, my brother came over and brought some food. Apparently, Vince and my brother have some kind of bromance going on now; when Vince and I first started dating, my brother HATED it because Vince is nearly 20 years older than I but as time went on and my brother saw that Vince and I were happy so he accepted it and Vince; they hang out often to BS and booze. I knew that whenever they would hang out, my brother made sure that Vince didn't EVER go off with another woman; not that Vince would but my brother, he protected me - his kid sister. 

I threw on my “eat a ton” pants and one of Vince’s shirts….to throw my brother off, Vince put on one of my skirts that I had forgotten that I had left there at his place the last time I stayed over. That sure was a sight I’ll tell you! When Vince opened the door to let my brother in, my brother laughed so hard he almost peed himself! It was quite the sight to see.

Once their laughter subsided, my brother went about to heat up the food and chill the wine while Vince changed. This gave my brother and I a chance to catch up with the whole me/Vince thing; I spared no details as my brother is a good sounding board for me and friend when I need it. With most things, my brother was happy and with other things, my brother wasn’t thrilled about…of course. Older brothers, I tell you! 

Vince came out and they went off to do some bromance shit…no clue what they’re were talking about but it gave me time to check my emails. I dozed off for a little bit but woke up when they were laughing and having a rip roaring good time. I got up to run to the bathroom too brush my teeth - I hate having fuzzy teeth - and walked into the kitchen….grabbed a half empty bottle of wine. 

My brother kissed the top of my head as I hugged him. As Vince was setting the table, my brother asked if I’d known that I was chugging a $300 bottle of wine and I said yes, because I expect no less from him. He laughed hysterically and then asked if I was happy with Vince and I told him that so far this weekend, I am but I’m not sure what will happen once I left. My brother nodded to state he understood.

My brother fed us like kings as per usual. We ate and bullshitted for most of the night. As the night wore on and we moved to the couches, Vince wrapped his arms around me and brought me closer to him. I turned my head towards him, leaned up a little bit and kissed him and then snuggled up against his chest again. My brother raised an eyebrow, opened his mouth and then shut it; he knew I was too old to for him to say something and that he wanted me to be happy so he kept quiet. 

When I stood up, went to clean up the kitchen and finish the last of the wine, my brother stood up and said that he needs to get going. Vince offered my brother the spare bedroom but my brother declined. I told my brother that he’s too tired and drunk to drive, he said that he’d wake his wife but I interrupted him saying that there’s no way in hell that I’m letting him wake his wife up at 1:30 am to pick him up and said that it’s too late, that I have a few friends that are going to bring him home and one of them would follow in his car.  He asked how many friends I have and I told him that I have many people who’re more than happy to help me out as I’ve busted them out of trouble more times that they can count.  

He said fine. Minutes later, his ride arrived, well paid monetarily and with water…my brother said his car needed gas and I said that it was already taken care of and he said ok. As he got into the passenger seat of his car, I called my sister in law to tell her that both she and my niece can go back to bed since my brother was getting a ride and that his car was following him home. She thanked me and we got off the phone.

With my brother gone, we rushed to finish cleaning the kitchen and went to bed. We stripped off of our clothes, got into bed and took our time; this time was the first time we made love since we first got together years ago. We explored each other’s bodies like it was the very first time and took our time…we came together multiple times and each time was better than the previous time; “I love you!” was said by both of us. It brought us so much closer to each other than we had been before. We talked about us and our futures separately as individuals and together as a couple and eventually fell asleep entwined in each other’s body.

Despite the limited sleep, I woke up early, took my birth control and another emergency contraceptive because I was 10 hours late with yesterday’s birth control and I wanted to make sure that I was fully protected. In that moment, I knew I loved Vince more than I did before then when we first started dating, I knew that I’d always love him but I don’t know what the future holds for us….and I knew that right now is not the time to be a mother of his child as I am not ready to be a mother yet.

I went back to the bedroom, packed up most of my clothes, stripped and as I was heading to the bathroom, Vince had woken up, pulled the sheets back to reveal that he was ready for me again. As sore as I was from last night, I climbed back into bed and we’d made love a few more times before I pulled myself from his arms; I didn’t want to but I knew that I had to get up and get going.

I hopped into the shower and then got dressed. I gathered up the sheets and my towel to put in the wash as he took a shower.  I unloaded the clean dishwasher, wiped down the table and the counters again, tossed the sheets and towels into the dryer and packed up the rest of my stuff. Once I had brought my bags to the front door, I went back to the dryer, folded the towels, putting them in the linen closet and made the bed.

When I opened up the bedroom door, I noticed flower petals on the floor. This man is going to be the death of me especially after I cleaned his place up. Instead of getting mad at him, I decided to follow the path of the petals. I found Vince at the end of the path - in Royal Navy sweatpants and sweatshirt…..a very nice color on him - on one knee with a ring box in one hand. The ring was absolutely stunning….like absolutely stunning. I’ve literally have not seen such a glorious ring. 

“Vince…..what’s going on? Please don’t tell me that you’re proposing!” I asked.

“Depgrl…I hope that you know by now that I love you. Will you marry me?” Vince asked.

“Vince, the ring is more than anything that I could ask for and imagine. This weekend was absolutely amazing and I loved ever single second of it. This weekend will always be a great memory for the both of us. I love you so incredibly much that it physically hurts me and I know that you feel the same. Baby, we’ve just started to scratch the surface to heal our past,” I told him as I took him up to his feet. “Please, please, please, baby. Give us some time to heal and see where this takes us. I promise you that I’m NOT telling you no….I’m just saying that I need to think about this.”

“Ok, my love. Let’s take care of us and then see where this goes,” Vince said. “I’ll hold on to this ring until then, my love. We’ll take our time.”

I kissed Vince so passionately and he returned the passion that it nearly brought us back to bed again. We both knew that having sex/making love wouldn’t fix us but the both us taking some time together and some time apart, us going to counseling together, starting over but with an intent for a serious relationship. As we said our goodbyes, it was hard but we knew that we’d always be a call away.

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