Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Awakening

The harsh, sterile scent of disinfectant was the first thing to pierce the fog. It was a smell I knew, one that spoke of hospitals and hushed urgency. My eyelids felt impossibly heavy, but a faint, insistent beeping cut through the haze, a rhythmic pulse accompanying the dull ache blooming behind my temples. A dry rasp caught in my throat when I tried to speak, and my tongue felt like sandpaper.

Where am I? What happened?

Slowly, painstakingly, I managed to pry my eyes open. The fluorescent lights overhead were blindingly bright, a harsh white against a pale ceiling. My vision swam for a moment, then gradually focused on the indistinct shapes of a hospital room: beige walls, a metal IV stand beside the bed, a monitor displaying an erratic green line. My arm, where the IV dripped, felt oddly stiff.

A nurse, a woman with kind eyes noticed my stirring. She moved swiftly to my bedside, her uniform rustling softly.

"Ms. Smith? You're awake. That's wonderful," she said, her voice professional as she adjusted something on the IV stand. "You're at Evergreen Medical Center in Arlingham. You've been here for a couple of days."

A couple of days? The words echoed in my foggy mind, bringing with them a surge of confusion and a prickle of alarm. What could have possibly kept me here for days?

"What... what happened?" I managed to croak, my voice barely a whisper, my throat burning.

She gave me a sympathetic look. "You sustained a head injury – a nasty fall. We've been monitoring you closely. You're stable now, but it'll take some time to recover."

A fall - that didn't sound right. Fragments of a memory flickered at the edges of my consciousness: it all hit me. My ex-husband’s sentencing hearing. I remembered that I went outside to get some air and then everything went black.

My eyes darted around the room, searching. "Darnell? Where's Officer Daniels?" A fresh wave of panic threatened to overwhelm me. He was there. He had to be.

The nurse paused, her expression softening with concern. "Officer Daniels is fine, but he's been visiting you often. He’s one of the officers that responded to the courthouse when you passed out." She smiled gently. "He's very dedicated to his job and your friendship. And he asked us to tell you not to worry about him."

A wave of relief washed over me. Darnell was okay – he was safe. For now, all that mattered was that he was alright.

Just then, the door to my room opened, and Vince walked in. His eyes, initially scanning the room with a worried frown, instantly lit up when they landed on me. A wide, relieved smile broke across his face as he rushed to my bedside.

"Deppgrl! You're awake!" he exclaimed. He reached for my hand, his grip gentle but firm. "Thank God. I've been so worried."

"What happened?" I managed to ask, my voice still weak.

Vince sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. One minute you were in the courtroom then you bolted to get air. Your brother followed you outside, said you passed out and that emergency services were called right away." Vince paused, his brow furrowing slightly. "Within minutes of them being called, Darnell came running over. He checked your vitals and was about to put you in his patrol car to get you here himself, but the EMTs showed up right then and took over. They brought you here." He squeezed my hand.

“God, the room is spinning. Has a physician been by?” I groaned. “Make the room stop spinning!”

Vince leaned over and pushed the call button. A nurse came rushing in. Vince quickly explained that I was dizzy and nauseous and wanted to see the doctor. He nodded, assuring him she'd get the doctor right away. I tried to close my eyes to help stop the room from spinning, but it only made it worse. A few minutes later, the physician arrived, followed by the nurse who had summoned her. The nurse was carrying vials and a few syringes.

"Ms. Smith, welcome back," the physician said with a kind smile. "I'm Dr. Maddie Jones. Max told me what's going on. We brought something for the dizziness and nausea, as well as something for the pain. Max will give you the one for dizziness and nausea now, but we'll wait on the pain medication. I'm sure you have many questions."

I felt at ease with this physician, her calm demeanor a stark contrast to my swirling head.

"Dr. Jones, what happened? Vince said that I passed out, but he wasn't there to see it, though my brother was. I'm guessing my brother would say it was from exhaustion and stress. I wouldn't be surprised if it were both."

"Both Bob and Vince told me what you've had going on the last many weeks. It certainly does have to do with what’s going on. And your brother is right – it’s a combination of stress and exhaustion " she confirmed gently. "But you also haven't been eating nor taking care of yourself – you’re running yourself ragged. Due to your fall, you have quite the concussion; it's a little worse than your last one, but not significantly. The game plan is to keep you here for another day or so. I want to make sure you're rested, hydrated, you're eating, and that the next few images of your brain don't show anything more concerning."

"How many more days do you think I'll be here, Dr. Jones?" I asked. "I can easily eat, hydrate, and sleep at home."

"Deppgrl, behave!" Vince hushed me. "The doctor wants to make sure your head doesn't get any worse."

"Ms. Smith, your boyfriend is right," the physician said, a faint smile touching her lips. "I know you have a history of concussions, and you know what to expect. However, I am that kind of doctor that is cautious and thorough. I won't discharge you until I see that there's no brain bleed or anything concerning in the next few images."

"Okay," I groaned, reluctantly accepting her decision.

The physician and Max were about to leave when Dr. Jones paused, turning back to me.

"How's the pain?" she asked, her expression softening.

"It feels like a million jackhammers are at work," I admitted, the throbbing behind my eyes intensifying.

"Look, Ms. Smith…Deppgrl," Dr. Jones whispered, her voice lowering, a hint of genuine understanding in her eyes. "It's a little hard to trust any medical professionals here at the moment with meds and syringes. I know you were given something you never consented to having during a previous visit. Max is the only one I trust, and he's the only one I trust with my patients. We promise to talk to you first before we give you anything, okay?"

Vince, who'd been listening intently, reached for the vial Max held, reading the label. "It’s a pain med." Max nodded confirmation, and a sense of calm finally settled over me. Max deftly administered the medication through my IV. Dr. Jones and Max then excused themselves, leaving Vince alone with me.

A few minutes later, the dull ache in my head began to recede, replaced by a growing drowsiness. I was mostly asleep when Vince leaned close, his voice a soft, almost imperceptible murmur. "Deppgrl," he whispered, "marry me. We could get a tiny apartment. Just us, and a tiny dog. Or a cat. Whatever you want." It was so incredibly lame, so sweet in its utter lack of grandeur, that a ghost of a smile touched my lips even as I drifted further.

My eyes fluttered open, just enough to see his hopeful face. "Vince," I slurred, the words barely audible, "you propose to me one more time like that, I swear on all things holy and unholy that I will leave you forever." The effort of speaking was too much, and I promptly fell into a deeper, much-needed sleep.

Hours later, I woke to a startled rush of chatter - my room was full. Dr. Jones, Max, Vince, Darnell, my brother, my parents, Aditi, Sheila, and Pastor Dan. My eyes widened, a bit shocked to see how many people had gathered.

"Oh, good, she's awake!" someone exclaimed.

"We were so worried!" another voice chimed in.

Dr. Jones stepped forward, a reassuring presence amidst the clamor. "Alright, everyone, one at a time!" She then turned to me with a wry smile. "Ms. Smith, don't worry, Sheila and Pastor Dan don't count as visitors; they're merely pastoring to your soul. Three of them are family, and the others are 'like' family, so we made an exception."

"Everyone needs to speak one at a time," I said, my voice firmer now, though still a little scratchy, "or I'm kicking you all out." The threat, even from a hospital bed, seemed to have the desired effect, and the room quieted considerably.

Dr. Jones then addressed me. "Is it okay if I share the results of your last scan, the one we did while you were asleep?"

"Yes, please," I replied, a fresh wave of anxiety prickling at me.

"Everything is looking good in the scan," she said, relief evident in her tone. "However, the goose egg on your head is indeed a hematoma, and it's quite substantial. It's not immediately critical, but it's not looking great. If it doesn't come down in size in the next few hours, we will need to drain it."

She and Max then excused themselves, giving me privacy with my visitors. They were all beaming, expressing their happiness that I was awake and alert, telling me I had given them a scare, and that I really needed to sleep and take care of myself better. I just shrugged them off, a familiar weariness washing over me.

"And while we're on the subject of me taking care of myself," I began, looking pointedly at Vince, then at the rest of them. "All of you, stop pressuring Vince to propose to me. After what I've just been through, the absolute last thing I want to do is get married. I'd be better off as a nun instead!" My tone, though exasperated, conveyed my seriousness, and they all exchanged glances, nodding in understanding.

I then started discussing who would be staying with me when I eventually got released. "I want Bob and Darnell to take turns the first few days. They don't tolerate my bullshit, and they know I'm an awful patient." Bob gave a knowing smirk, and Darnell nodded in agreement. "After that," I continued, "my parents. At that point, I should be okay during the day but just check in on me a few times a night."

Vince, looking slightly chastened but still trying, ventured, "What about me looking after you?"

"Vince," I said, giving him a flat look that contained both affection and exasperation, "with how much you annoyed me when I was falling asleep earlier, you're lucky you're even in the room." He chuckled softly, a slight blush creeping up his neck, and wisely dropped the subject.

Eventually, everyone but Darnell left, their well wishes echoing in the now quieter room. Darnell pulled a chair closer and sat down.

"So," he began, his voice low, "if it doesn't work out with Vince, you know I'm available."

I raised an eyebrow. "What about your girlfriend, Officer Daniels?"

He laughed, a genuine, easy sound. "Oh, she's always known how in love with you I am."

I chuckled but had to stop abruptly. The room was spinning again, and my head felt like it was splitting in two. I pressed a hand to my forehead.

"Should I call for a nurse?" Darnell asked, his playfulness instantly replaced by concern.

"Give it a few minutes," I muttered, trying to ride out the sudden wave of nausea and pain.

Seconds later, I was fast asleep….thankful to see Darnell in one piece. I promised his mom I’d keep him alive for as long as I could – even if it meant putting myself at risk.

 

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