Friday, July 9, 2021

Taking some time to center myself and try to find an answer

I am taking some time away from both Vince and C as I need to find some answers for myself. I know that at the end of the day, that, I, as a woman, do NOT need anyone but myself to me happy. 

It was nice to reconnect with C but the relationship just isn't the same as it was when we first met; he's more guarded than he used to be and I find it a little bit more difficult to hold a solid conversation when he's as guarded as he is now. Not that being guarded is a bad thing but it makes him a little hard to hold a conversation with. I don't know what you would consider this relationship as we BS, send memes but we don't hang out. It's like we're friends but we're really not friends...we didn't start out as friends....we started out as FWB; guess it kind of evolved from FWB to acquaintances that talk on occasion.

Reconnecting with Vince is always great both physically and emotionally. We saw each other through a number of things as our relationship changed throughout the years. As my teacher 20 odd years ago, he was a concerned teacher for not just me but for all of his students, when I was out of high school and we dated he felt like he had to kind of step in to protect me (don't get me started!!!), after we broke up it was awkward but he still showed concern about me when we were in the same room, when his brother died (think it was a freak scuba accident but I don't recall and he hardly mentions it anymore so I let it go) was even more awkward - I went to the viewing and the funeral as support to him and to his family as his family loved me (they love me still to this day) and now that we're kind of back together, I just don't know what to make of it. He proposed, I told him that I didn't know and that I would give him an answer (he's expecting one in the next week!)…we aren't dating, we're not "officially" engaged, we're definitely not FWB because that has no romantic feelings whatsoever and we love each other...guess you could call us friends as we do hang out (and we're not always having sex but it's an added bonus). 

I honestly don't know what to do about C as I feel like he doesn't have many CLOSE friends - yes, he does have a significant amount of friends (like 10 or 15 solid friends that he's spending time/hanging with) but none that are close.....that I know of -  and I don't want to abandon him as I think that he is a good person and that we all need friends that we do have a past with. Know what I mean?

As for Vince....I want to say that I will marry him but I don't want to be married to him for 5 years and then say: "Baby, I love you, but I am bored and want a divorce!" That isn't the type of marriage I want to be in plus it wouldn't be fair to either one of us. At the same time, I need to come clean to him to tell him that I don't need a piece of paper stating that he and I love each other.....it's between us and those we share it with. We both enjoy being with each other - spending a few nights a week at the other's place - but the same time we enjoy having our own individual place so we have the opportunity to give each other - and ourselves - some space.

I still don't know what answer I will give him when I promised him an answer. I won't see him again until Sunday - he gets back from his vacation on Saturday mid afternoon - and he knows I won't have my answer for him on Sunday. Since I have the key for his place, I plan on going over there later tonight, check again on his plants, dusting, vacuuming, doing some minor laundry as some of my stuff is still there and a few dirty things of his that he didn't feeling doing and a few other things so his apartment is in better shape for his return. I was thinking about doing a little grocery shopping before I go over tonight so that way he has fresh dairy, veggies and fruits but I think that I'll do that early tomorrow morning in case I need to clean out wilted veggies and fruit tonight.

I'll definitely do some light cooking - meals that he can just pop in the oven or microwave to reheat for the next few days. He doesn't like to cook when he gets some from a vacation. I know....you're all wondering that since I'm still not sure what my answer is going to be, then why on earth am I doing minor cleaning and minor cooking for him. The bottom line is that no matter what I tell him next week, I am always going to love him. That's never going to change. 

Speaking of which - lol - we all know that I am still going to love Vince (unable to stop the second I want to) but I have a little fear that he will stop loving me if I tell him no. I think that he - like me - won't stop loving me the second he wants.....I know that he's going to be hurt if I say no and I'm afraid that he'll shut me out. Guess that not only do I have to figure out an answer for next week, I need to be prepared for him to shut down his emotions for me and for him to walk away. 

He is a very fair man - always was and always will be - but I will give him all the time (and space) in the world if I tell him no...he wouldn't want to see me for a bit. 

No matter what my answer will be next week, I will tell Vince that I will always love him, he will always be a part of me and I am who I am partly because of him.

Sunday, July 4, 2021

Talking with C

I called C last night to let him know what was going on; thankfully he and I reconciled our friendship about 2 months ago. He was both surprised and happy that Vince proposed but a little bit bummed that I didn’t give Vince an answer yet. My friends and family know that Vince and I love each other dearly but they - minus Vince - know where I stand on marriage; it’s not for me. I much prefer be dating someone for a really long time as I don’t need a legal document stating that my partner and I love each other. 

Anyways. C and I decided to meet up for drinks and to discuss Vince’s proposal. C had arrived a few minutes earlier than I did and had a few shots waiting for me when I got to the table. I take the shots back to back to back to back as I explain to him everything that happened this past weekend. He said that he thought that Vince would have gone all out for the proposal but he did admit that it was sweet that there were flower petals - despite me wanting to clean everything up. I agreed although I much preferred just in the living room and no petals.

C had asked what I was going to do about the proposal and when I’d give Vince an answer. I said that I wasn’t sure what the fuck I was going to do about the proposal but he - Vince - and I will still spend the night at each other’s places from time to time. C looked a little concerned then asked if that meant that Vince and I would be having sex; I said of course we would….Vince and I are together but not together together. He didn’t look happy so I asked what he was thinking and he replied that he was hoping that he and I could pick up our sexual relationship. 

I hemmed and hawed for a bit as I went into a reverie of how it was like when we had sex - there’s absolutely no way that I could possibly compare C and Vince sexually; they were both amazing in their own ways and I enjoy both of their penises - SEPARATELY…..I’m too old for shits and giggles like that. I reminded myself in my reverie that Vince and I were in no way “official” in any shape or form. After I took my fifth shot, I slammed the shot glass down…almost breaking it, realizing that I’d be toast if I had another shot. Fuck it, I thought, as I ordered another. I looked at C and told him just once more until I knew what my decision about Vince….tonight wasn’t going to happen because I was too drunk. He understood and respected that. I hugged him good night before I followed my friend out. 

My friend knew to bring another one of our friends to follow with my car. I fell asleep before we got to my place….8 minutes away. It took seconds to wake me up and my friends followed me into my house. They dropped my purse, keys and shoes off at the door, plugged my phone into its charger in my room, left a giant glass of ice water by my bed as well as a bottle of aspirin and then made sure I was ok. I said that I was fine. I hugged them good bye, thanking them as they were heading out the door. 

Once they left, I hopped in the shower, put on my comfiest pjs, went to the kitchen to get Gatorade.  I downed it in seconds and realized that I needed to let C know I’m ok so I texted him and then turned off my phone as I needed to get some sleep. As I headed to my bedroom, I tossed the empty Gatorade bottle in the recycling can, went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, tossed my clothes in the hamper, and went to bed. As soon as I hopped into bed, I was out cold….and it was only 10:30 pm. 

I don’t know how long I was asleep but I heard pounding on a door but thought it was my neighbor’s so I fell back asleep. Seconds later, I was woken up by the door pounding again and my name being yelled. I got out of bed, grabbed my phone and turned it on, went to the bathroom to quickly swish mouthwash and then opened the front door. The police and C were there. It was fucking cold as it was snowing so I invited everyone in. 

I asked what was going on, the cops and C were all talking over each other to tell me what was going on. As it was 1 am and that I was annoyed as fuck, I told them to shut the hell up or I’m kicking everyone out. They all shut up. I asked if anyone wanted coffee and everyone said yes. I made it the semi old fashioned way; I tossed coffee beans on a baking sheet and tossed it in the oven at 400*. I let the beans roast for 8 minutes and once done, I took them out and ground the beans and started the pot. 

As the coffee was brewing, C assisted me in getting coffee cups, sugar, spoons and heavy cream ready. The coffee was done so I took the tray of cups, sugar, spoons and heavy cream in one hand and the coffee pot in the other hand, C followed me into the kitchen. He put the tray on the sideboard and I grabbed a pot holder to put under the coffee and then I welcomed everyone for coffee. 

Once everyone had gotten their coffee and sat down at the table with me. I asked C to explain to me what the hell was going on and why the hell they woke me up at 1 am. C said that he got my text letting him know that I was home and ok, he responded but didn’t hear anything back. So he texted me 5 more times - he knows that I respond right away but I didn’t; even after I get a call, I respond right away.  After 2 hours of this and he hadn’t heard from me, C decided that he’d call the police near me to do a wellness check, hence why everyone was there.

I noticed the coffee pot was empty so I took the unused roasted coffee beans, ground them and brew another pot of coffee. It took no time to brew, thankfully. Got the coffee out and decided make everyone breakfast. Ugh. 

I took out my cast iron pan and started frying bacon. As the bacon was frying, I grabbed 2 dozen eggs from the fridge and a bowl from the cabinet…seconds later the eggs were cracked, whisked and mixed with a splash of milk. The bacon was was done and put on a platter and in the oven to keep warm, tossed the eggs in the pan adding a little salt, pepper and dried basil. I took 2 clean baking pans, put slices of bread on pans and tossed them in my other oven on broil to toast the bread. 

C came in to bring out the third pot of coffee, plates and utensils. Finally everything was done and plated; again C helped me bring the food out to the table. As everyone was eating, I was frustrated that everyone was still here so I finally asked if the cops are satisfied that I’m alive and well. They said that they’re THRILLED with my ability to cook so much food in so little time and that they LOVED my coffee but they’ll be satisfied about my safety once they see some ID. I rolled my eyes and chuckled. I grabbed my license from my purse and my passport; they looked at both and said that they’re happy that I’m safe. 

The cops finally left after I told them how to roast the coffee beans so they have their coffee taste like mine. After they left, C helped me clean up which was pretty easy as I have 2 dishwashers and just wiped out the cast iron pan….they don’t get washed as whatever is cooked in it flavors it. 

It was 3 am by the time I started the dishwashers, C was passed out cold on the pull out couch in the living room. I went to the front closet - where I tossed my purse after putting my license and passport back - went into my purse, grabbed a condom and went back to the living room. I left the condom on the table, I took C’s jeans and tshirt off, I walked around the bed, stripped and crawled in beside him. He stirred but fell asleep and I followed suit seconds. 

I woke up not long after falling asleep. I got up, went to the bathroom, washed my hands and brushed my teeth, grabbed some water and went to bed. When I came back, C was awake, sheet pulled back and he was stroking himself…it was a great sight to see. I climbed into bed and opened up the condom, easily rolling on it on C’s penis. He rolled me onto my back, spread my legs, he got into position and then asked me if I’m sure…I said yes. 

In seconds, C slid inside of me. He took his time thrusting in and out of me…..fuck, he feels so good. He rolled me on to my stomach, grabbed my hips and started thrusting harder and faster…I was moaning his name over and over. In no time we came hard together and he screamed my name. We collapsed in each other’s arms, caught our breath and he eventually pulled out. He groaned and mumbled the word “fuck” under his breath. I knew that the condom broke but I didn’t react at all. 

I reached out behind me and started stroking C; he was ready instantly. He rolled on to his back, I sat astride him then guided him into me. I slid up and down him as he held on so my clumsy ass wouldn’t fall. I was close to finishing so he rolled me on to my back and thrust in and out of me like the world was going to end…I spread my legs even further as he continued. I started to orgasm as he was getting close; he didn’t stop as I finished. As he came, I came again but even harder than the first time just seconds earlier. 

He rolled over and fell asleep. I got out of bed and took a shower. After I got out and got dressed, I took an emergency contraceptive AND my birth control as I’d forgotten to take my birth control a few times this week. C isn’t quite the snoop but I hid the packaging just to be safe. I put my towels and sheets from my room in the washer.  I woke up C and told him that I received a message from Vince that he was heading over in the next 30 to 45 minutes. He shot up, went to his small drawer for fresh clothes, took a shower, got dressed and put his dirty clothes in a plastic shopping bag. I told him to check my entire place for his stuff as I emptied the dishwashers. Minutes later, he came back and said he was good. He kissed me on the cheek and left. 

I washed the sheets from the spare room and the towels to start a new load. By the time I was done with making my bed, Vince had arrived and used his key to come in. I stopped at the washer to toss the sheets and towels into the dryer then I went to greet Vince. I hugged him before I noticed that he had a bouquet of flowers in his hand. I gently placed my hand on his neck and guided his head closer to me. I kissed him so passionately that he’d dropped the flowers onto the floor and wrapped me in his arms. Then my phone chirped. He said that he’d get a vase while I take care of what I needed to. I was glad to see it was my brother and him thanking me for the ride home the other day.  

We met in the kitchen; he’d opened a bottle of wine and had some cheese and crackers ready. I stood on my tip toes to kiss him to thank him for bringing wine and cheese and he leaned down to accept. He broke the kiss, grabbed my hand and led me to my bedroom. We stripped off of our clothes, climbed into my bed, started kissing again; our hands exploring the other’s bodies. He reached down to my apex with one of his hands to see how ready I was for him.

He growled and rolled me onto my side, slid right behind me, moved my top leg a little bit and thrust into me. I moaned his name and that's all it took for him to start thrusting deeper and deeper into me. He wrapped his one arm around me to bring me closer to him and I placed my leg over his to open up a little more for him...his penis at this angle and in this position was a little uncomfortable. With his one arm around me, he reached up to my breasts to play with one nipple at a time. My juices began to drip down his throbbing penis...we both knew I was close. As I turned my neck to face him and kiss him, he slid his other arm underneath me...we started to kiss as he was massaging and squeezing my breasts, I tried to open my hips a little bit more for him to be fully able to slide his penis in me but I was too distracted and he slid completely in me anyways; I moaned. A few thrusts later, we orgasm together....laying like this for a little bit until I know that he's fallen asleep. 

I get up, throw on an old baggy shirt and head into the kitchen. I munch a little bit on the cheese before putting it into the fridge and put the topper in the wine, leaving the bottle where it was. As I was cleaning up a little bit in the kitchen and toss the paper towels, I see the foil pack from the emergency contraceptive kind of on the edge of the garbage can from earlier. Fuck fuck fuck fuck! I tell myself. I grab it and put it in a paper towel and then place the wad in the garbage can. I then head a few steps to the flowers that Vince put in the the vase for me and add the flower food when I noticed the card. 

The card said:
"You are my love, you are my life. I can't imagine my life without you as I'd be lost without you. I love you forevermore.
Vince"

I knew what I had to do. I was walking fast to get back to my bedroom to wake Vince to tell him but I took a turn down the hallway to fast, the rug shifted, I fell both hearing and feeling my left forearm snap before passing out.

I don’t know how long I was unconscious for - who does? - and woke up a bit later in the hospital. I remember breakfast with C and the cops, a little snack before Vince arrived and had very little wine when I had a little bit of cheese. I know me - and you know me very well, my beloved readers - I get a bit clumsy when I get tired. 

Minutes later the doctor showed up and introduced himself to me and explained that when I landed and broke my arm, it was a clean break, didn’t need any surgery to realign the bones and told me that I got the “fancy” cast; the kind that’s 3D printed to fit the contours of my arm. The doctor told me that I can shower with it and that I do NOT need to cover it at all like the old school casts from when I was growing up, I’d have an interesting tan once the cast came off and that I should be fine with Tylenol and Advil for the pain but if not, I should come to the office and he’d give me some kind of shot that’s similar to a cortisone shot. He explained that he doesn’t often write prescriptions for narcotic pain relievers as he believes that people need to try over the counter meds first; when OTC meds don’t work, he prescribes only 2 pills every 3 days so people have less of a chance of taking more than necessary. He explained that all my bloodwork was fine (I asked if I was pregnant and he said my hormone levels were fine) and he said that they did a CT scan to see if I had a concussion from when I fell and that was negative as well.  I said that it’s fine, signed my paperwork, got unhooked from all the machines and I headed to designated waiting area. 

Both C and Vince were there waiting for me. Apparently I looked confused so C explained that he’d called me while I was unconscious and in the hospital, Vince picked up and told C what happened…C had to explain where I kept my insurance card as Vince couldn’t find it in my wallet; Vince shared with C which hospital I was going to and C drove over.

Since Vince came with me in the ambulance, C drove us back to my place and invited them both in; they both accepted. I excused myself to take a shower and put on comfy clothes, Vince and C cleaned up the mess I made as well as ordering take out. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, my phone charger, a bottle of Advil and headed to the couch. As soon as I stretched out, I realized that I still had my contacts in so I got up, went to the bathroom to start the process. It was a little painful to use my hand from the arm that was broken…put on my proverbial big girl undies, sucked it up and dealt with it for all of 3.5 seconds. 

On my way down back to the living room, I went to the linen closet to grab a blanket and a spare pillow. As excited as I was to take some Advil and a nap, I took my time. The guys had set up plates and stuff in the living room - knowing full well that I don’t allow food in my living room - but I didn’t care at this point in the day because I was tired, my arm was beginning to hurt, I was hungry and more importantly, I was tired. 

I was glad to see my brother come in the door and with the food but also annoyed. Apparently the “boys” thought it was wise to involve my brother in the debacle of a day. I got a look from my brother but I didn’t care for. He has a friend who owns an Asian restaurant so he brought food from there with the well wishes from the friend. I hugged my brother and thanked him for helping out with the food. My brother being my brother knew that I just wanted soup so he opened it up, told me to belly up to the table and eat. Both C and Vince were SO confused, threw glances at each other, my brother and then me so I told them that my brother knows what I want and need before I even know what I want and need and THAT is why he’s older than me. The giggled, let it go and started eating.

I finished my soup, took 4 Advil - which my brother saw, of course - laid down on the couch, put on the blanket and passed out. Either I was sleeping heavily or the guys were quiet but either way…I didn’t hear them talk or clean up. The next thing I knew was that the pain in my arm woke me up, saw the guys all on air mattresses on my living room floor, walked around them as quietly as possible, ate a banana, took an Advil, went to the bathroom, chugged more water, grabbed an ice pack and went back to the couch to fall back asleep. 

Vince had woken up while I was up and had quietly converted the couch into a bed, grabbed more blankets and another pillow. Once he saw me get comfortable, he joined me. I whispered to him that he needs to keep his hands to himself as I need my sleep more than anything else. He called me an adorable grump and promised that he’d behave himself as he held me. I chuckled and fell asleep in seconds. 

Hours later, I woke up in my own bed in my own room. I checked my phone for texts and calls but nothing. On the dresser by my bed, the guys left me a note saying that they cleaned up my place, did my laundry, told me that they called the doctor to give him an update, did grocery shopping and put some manly stuff at the bottom of my area rugs so they nor I wouldn’t slide anymore. I chuckled and grateful that they took care of me without hovering….too much! 

I called my boss to explain the situation and that I was staying home from work for the day, my boss told me that I can take the next 2 weeks off and that I’d get my full regular pay. I was shocked and thanked him profusely; he said that it’s important to him that the employees get AND take the time they need to recover from an illness and other medical issues because in the long run, it helps the morale of the employees. Once we got off the phone, I went through the saved special occasions cards that I had, selected one that suited the situation, wrote a quick but grateful note, sealed it up and asked my neighbor to come on over to pick it up from me and put it in the mail for me; told my neighbor that I’d some cookies I’d made in the freezer for her payment. She was grateful for the ‘payment’ as she knows that I’m the ‘Queen of Cookies’….I always make cookies from scratch and store them in the freezer for situations like this (as well as for holidays but that’s another story for another day). 

By the time she came back, I gave her a few pounds of cookies from the freezer. Her eyes were so wide. I explained that she does so much for me when I’m at work and other errands for me that I’m so appreciative of her, she deserves it! She thanked me on her behalf, her husband’s behalf and her 2 kids’ behalf. We hugged and then she left.

I called my brother to thank him for everything and let him know how I was doing but I got his voicemail so I left a message. I did the same for C, Vince and the doctor….this time I stayed awake and my phone on just in case one of them wanted to reach out to me or in case the doctor called. 

The doc called first; I told him that I was sleeping a ton, was taking it easy on my broken arm, taking Advil when needed and using ice packs as well. The doc suggested that I take the occasional Tylenol if I had break through pain, napping isn’t necessary but still a good thing and was happy that I was using ice. 

My brother called back and we spoke for a few minutes. He was happy that I wasn’t in too much pain, he was happy that I spoke to the doctor and offered to be the go between me the doc in case I’d taken a nap. Loved the idea so I wrote a brief note stating who I was, the injuries and if the doc didn’t hear back from me 30 minutes from his call or text, he’s allowed to call and discuss it with my brother and then my brother would stick his head in on me to let me know. Once done, I faxed it over to my doctor.

C called back and it was a super short conversation as he was heading to his car to head home. He was happy to hear that I was alert and chipper, feeling pretty good and asked if I needed anything; I said I was fine and if there was something major, I’d let him know.

Vince was the last one to call me back. He was done with his errands and visiting with family….he asked if I wanted company and I said sure. When we got off the phone, I showered, brushed my teeth, hopped into some sweats and made an attempt French braided my hair. By the time I came downstairs, Vince was letting himself in. He dropped his overnight bag, placed more flowers on the table, took 2 giant steps over to me, put his arms around me, picked me up and kissed me. I giggled and kissed him back. He put me down - carefully - picked up the flowers, took care of them and brought them back into the living room. I brought his bag up into my room and came back downstairs. 

Vince was in the living room with a peanut butter and banana sandwich and a glass of orange juice for me and leftover Asian food for him. He’d set up one of my favorite movies for us to watch as we ate. If I hadn’t said it recently, I’m saying it now….I love Vince. About half way through the movie, he paused so he could clean up, get us some wine and turn the couch back into a bed. 

Once we both stretched out and were comfortable, we ended up turning off my tv, told Vince that I’d rather us just hold each other and fall asleep. He said that he was more than happy to as he loved me more than anything. 

Sunday, June 27, 2021

I’m a little conflicted

Vince reached out to me one and half weeks ago to tell that he’d just retired from teaching and wanted to see if I wanted to meet up with him to celebrate (and thought that maybe I might spend the night or two nights). I thanked him for the offer but I’d have to think about it….thankfully I didn’t have to mention that we ended badly last time as he clearly understood my point. He’s not stupid but a little dense when it comes to me; I wanted his love, respect and trust but instead he was “trying” protect me from a previous lover which, clearly, I didn't need. 

I replied to him around 8 pm Thursday night that I'd come over Friday night for dinner and spend at least one night with him. He was grateful that I responded and said that he'd get his place ready for me; I knew that he was frustrated that I gave him about 24 hours notice of my arrival but he didn't say anything about that….which is pretty surprising. I could tell that he was frustrated because I usually give him  a few days in advanced notice of shit, this time I didn't. Considering that we're both neat freaks (one more than the other in certain areas), he didn't have the time to thoroughly clean his place.....he vacuums every day, washes his sheets and towels every 3 to 4 days, dusts 3 to 4 times a week, maintains the cleanliness of his bathroom although he practically sterilizes his bathroom twice a week. I was half tempted to send someone I know who cleans houses to help him out but I chose not to as I know that his place is super clean and he knows that I don't expect him to clean his place like a drill sergeant would expect him to.

I arrived at his place around 6 pm/6:15 pm Friday night. I have enough clothes get through Sunday mid afternoon; just in case. We ate (he cooked), split a few bottles of wine, watched a movie and went to bed to have sex. When we had sex Friday night, he made it all about me…he didn’t want me to return the favor - at first I was confused and then I was like: “Fuck YES! It’s about me and my pleasure tonight!”. It was great to have sex with him again and it helped us to reconnect physically again. I missed that connection with him. Afterwards we had fallen asleep...until the chirping of my phone woke me up. Should've turned the damn thing off.

It’s the ass crack of dawn Saturday morning. Just received a few texts from V…..you know the guy who worked for my brother and I was his mistress for like 2 years? Yeah. That sexy bastard. That sexy bastard that I wanted to have sex with almost every single damn day of my life. The sexy bastard had a fight with his wife as she found out about us (he drunkenly told her awhile back) and was drunk while texting me, complaining about his wife being so far up his ass about our past and that he was currently texting me right in front of her. I got so fed up with him and his current behavior that I told him to shut the hell up as I was in another man's bed getting my needs taken care of. Thankfully - despite being drunk - he got the clue and stopped texting me. Not only did I block him but I turned off the ringer by putting it on silence as I didn't want to wake up Vince. I fell asleep moments later.

A few hours later, I woke up and got ready for the day....Vince was still fast asleep. Lucky retired bastard. I started making myself a bowl of cereal and THAT woke up Vince (and how did my phone chirping at ass crack of dawn NOT wake him up????). He stumbled into the kitchen butt naked and getting ready to make coffee when he realized that I already did. The old man (what? he's 19 years older than me!), chugged a few mugs - mumbling that I kept him up past his bed time last night - and went in to kiss me....I said not unless his teeth have been brushed and he had been showered as I'm a stickler for good hygiene and he grumbled for not being able to kiss me. 

As he was showering and getting ready for the day, I called up an acquaintance of mine to ask him to make a picnic set up for two people and he'd asked what was needed in it. I told him that 3 bottles of expensive wine, wine glasses, Italian meats and cheeses, 2 loaves of bread, some Italian desserts and a bottle of water. He said that it'd be ready in about 15 to 30 minutes, I thanked him and said that I was sending a courier over with a picnic basket; he chuckled and grumbled that OF COURSE that's something I would do. I explained that the courier would wait until everything was loaded up, would give him the cash that I provided to pay my acquaintance and then he'd be on his way. My acquaintance asked who I was with and I told him that it was Vince....he laughed and said that the picnic was on him and that I was indebted to him as one Italian to another. I laughed and we hung up the phone. 

I was getting ready when the courier rang the doorbell. I offered the basket and a few hundred dollars for my acquaintance for his work and gave him a lasagna - that I made and had planned to heat up for dinner that night - to give to my acquaintance as a return of the favor. As he left, Vince popped out looking pretty nice; jeans, a polo shirt and his leather jacket for his motorcycle. He asked who was at the door and I said another favor and he groaned; I said that I was joking, that I had a plan for that afternoon and that he needs to take his allergy meds. He grumbled - yet again! - grabbed MY coffee (that bastard!!!), went to the bedroom, took his meds and came back out to see me take the basket from the courier and me push the poor man out the door. Vince laughed and finally saw what I was wearing....Skin tight skirt, a low cut shirt, my old riding boots (knee length, of course!) and my leather jacket. He knew it was a big afternoon planned. Before we left, I dumped my purse into a leather backpack type of purse.

We went to his motorcycle, I attached the basket and a blanket (with special attachments from the motorcycle company), he hopped on his bike, I followed suit and told him to go to some farmland that had once belonged to my family. He said that would be trespassing and I explained that I have permission to go whenever I want and that I don’t need to call ahead. He seemed a little bit in awe and grateful at the same time. It took no time to get there as it was close to where Vince lives. We hopped off of his motorcycle, gathered up the blanket and the basket and we went on our way to my favorite field; it used to have a horse barn and paddock but it’s now filled with daisies and a variety of other wild flowers as well as plenty of shade for my pasty white ass.

It took us 10 minutes to walk to my favorite spot, we spread the blanket out and as we ate, we caught up with each other and discussed where we saw where we saw each other in the future. We were able to repair our past a little bit as we were eating and Vince said that he hoped we could start dating again. I was a whole lot of surprised what Vince suggested and I shared with him my concerns of him trying control me, his jealousy when I was with male friends, giving me space when I ask for it, being there when I needed it and for him to actually trust me when I'm with my male friends. He understood and said that it’s definitely something that he’d work on in counseling and with me. Vince leaned over and kissed me.

I gently grabbed his shirt collar, pulled him closer to me and kissed him harder. He came over, taking his clothes off as we were kissing. He gently laid me on my back, lifting my hips and lifting my skirt past my hips and noticed that I wasn’t wearing any panties. He kept my hips in the air and clamped his mouth around my apex…he ate my apex like he hadn’t eaten in days; he was using his tongue and teeth…holy crap I was in heaven. In my entire life, I have NEVER ever been eaten like that before!

He finally put me down, spread my legs and slid inside of me…. It took a few seconds for him to get adjusted in order to fit inside; the afternoon was different from the night before. Once he was settled, he pumped in and out of me like his life depended on it…I couldn’t help but moan and scream his name; I wrapped my arms around him and didn’t want to let him go. He helped me roll over and he took me from behind…he grabbed my hips and he fucked me hard and fast; I was screaming his name. I loved feeling his  pulsating penis in me and make me feel this good. We finished together, turning to our sides - still connected - and laid like that for I don’t know how long as we both fell asleep.

I woke up in a jolt. I’d forgotten to take my birth control pill that morning. I gently pulled away from Vince as he was still inside of me. I immediately dug into my bag to find an emergency contraceptive pill, opened the foil pack, popped the pill into my mouth and chugged some water, hid the foil pack in a a smaller compartment of my bag. I woke up Vince but he seemed a little bit annoyed that I wasn’t in his arms: I fixed my skirt, he got dressed and we packed up our things and headed out. He attached the basket and blanket to his motorcycle; he gave me a hand to help me on his motorcycle. 

Once I was on, Vince leaned in and gently kissed me. I kissed him back, gently biting his lip so he'd open his mouth, which he did; he leaned in even further and kissed me harder. Vince couldn't wait any further so he got on in front and I wrapped my arms around him and he brought us back to his place. It didn’t take long as he sped; we hurriedly unloaded his motorcycle, went inside leaving the basket and blanket in the living room and we headed to his bedroom to finish what we started in the field and the bike. I did take one second - discreetly - to take the birth control pill that I’d forgotten to taken that morning.

It was a couple of hours later before we left his bedroom; we’d taken our time, finishing the wine plus others we opened when we returned, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. When I took a shower, Vince had called my brother (no big surprise there!) asked him to come on over. Ugh, I love my brother but this wasn’t the time for him to come over; it was time for Vince and I to enjoy each other physically and emotionally. In no time, my brother came over and brought some food. Apparently, Vince and my brother have some kind of bromance going on now; when Vince and I first started dating, my brother HATED it because Vince is nearly 20 years older than I but as time went on and my brother saw that Vince and I were happy so he accepted it and Vince; they hang out often to BS and booze. I knew that whenever they would hang out, my brother made sure that Vince didn't EVER go off with another woman; not that Vince would but my brother, he protected me - his kid sister. 

I threw on my “eat a ton” pants and one of Vince’s shirts….to throw my brother off, Vince put on one of my skirts that I had forgotten that I had left there at his place the last time I stayed over. That sure was a sight I’ll tell you! When Vince opened the door to let my brother in, my brother laughed so hard he almost peed himself! It was quite the sight to see.

Once their laughter subsided, my brother went about to heat up the food and chill the wine while Vince changed. This gave my brother and I a chance to catch up with the whole me/Vince thing; I spared no details as my brother is a good sounding board for me and friend when I need it. With most things, my brother was happy and with other things, my brother wasn’t thrilled about…of course. Older brothers, I tell you! 

Vince came out and they went off to do some bromance shit…no clue what they’re were talking about but it gave me time to check my emails. I dozed off for a little bit but woke up when they were laughing and having a rip roaring good time. I got up to run to the bathroom too brush my teeth - I hate having fuzzy teeth - and walked into the kitchen….grabbed a half empty bottle of wine. 

My brother kissed the top of my head as I hugged him. As Vince was setting the table, my brother asked if I’d known that I was chugging a $300 bottle of wine and I said yes, because I expect no less from him. He laughed hysterically and then asked if I was happy with Vince and I told him that so far this weekend, I am but I’m not sure what will happen once I left. My brother nodded to state he understood.

My brother fed us like kings as per usual. We ate and bullshitted for most of the night. As the night wore on and we moved to the couches, Vince wrapped his arms around me and brought me closer to him. I turned my head towards him, leaned up a little bit and kissed him and then snuggled up against his chest again. My brother raised an eyebrow, opened his mouth and then shut it; he knew I was too old to for him to say something and that he wanted me to be happy so he kept quiet. 

When I stood up, went to clean up the kitchen and finish the last of the wine, my brother stood up and said that he needs to get going. Vince offered my brother the spare bedroom but my brother declined. I told my brother that he’s too tired and drunk to drive, he said that he’d wake his wife but I interrupted him saying that there’s no way in hell that I’m letting him wake his wife up at 1:30 am to pick him up and said that it’s too late, that I have a few friends that are going to bring him home and one of them would follow in his car.  He asked how many friends I have and I told him that I have many people who’re more than happy to help me out as I’ve busted them out of trouble more times that they can count.  

He said fine. Minutes later, his ride arrived, well paid monetarily and with water…my brother said his car needed gas and I said that it was already taken care of and he said ok. As he got into the passenger seat of his car, I called my sister in law to tell her that both she and my niece can go back to bed since my brother was getting a ride and that his car was following him home. She thanked me and we got off the phone.

With my brother gone, we rushed to finish cleaning the kitchen and went to bed. We stripped off of our clothes, got into bed and took our time; this time was the first time we made love since we first got together years ago. We explored each other’s bodies like it was the very first time and took our time…we came together multiple times and each time was better than the previous time; “I love you!” was said by both of us. It brought us so much closer to each other than we had been before. We talked about us and our futures separately as individuals and together as a couple and eventually fell asleep entwined in each other’s body.

Despite the limited sleep, I woke up early, took my birth control and another emergency contraceptive because I was 10 hours late with yesterday’s birth control and I wanted to make sure that I was fully protected. In that moment, I knew I loved Vince more than I did before then when we first started dating, I knew that I’d always love him but I don’t know what the future holds for us….and I knew that right now is not the time to be a mother of his child as I am not ready to be a mother yet.

I went back to the bedroom, packed up most of my clothes, stripped and as I was heading to the bathroom, Vince had woken up, pulled the sheets back to reveal that he was ready for me again. As sore as I was from last night, I climbed back into bed and we’d made love a few more times before I pulled myself from his arms; I didn’t want to but I knew that I had to get up and get going.

I hopped into the shower and then got dressed. I gathered up the sheets and my towel to put in the wash as he took a shower.  I unloaded the clean dishwasher, wiped down the table and the counters again, tossed the sheets and towels into the dryer and packed up the rest of my stuff. Once I had brought my bags to the front door, I went back to the dryer, folded the towels, putting them in the linen closet and made the bed.

When I opened up the bedroom door, I noticed flower petals on the floor. This man is going to be the death of me especially after I cleaned his place up. Instead of getting mad at him, I decided to follow the path of the petals. I found Vince at the end of the path - in Royal Navy sweatpants and sweatshirt…..a very nice color on him - on one knee with a ring box in one hand. The ring was absolutely stunning….like absolutely stunning. I’ve literally have not seen such a glorious ring. 

“Vince…..what’s going on? Please don’t tell me that you’re proposing!” I asked.

“Depgrl…I hope that you know by now that I love you. Will you marry me?” Vince asked.

“Vince, the ring is more than anything that I could ask for and imagine. This weekend was absolutely amazing and I loved ever single second of it. This weekend will always be a great memory for the both of us. I love you so incredibly much that it physically hurts me and I know that you feel the same. Baby, we’ve just started to scratch the surface to heal our past,” I told him as I took him up to his feet. “Please, please, please, baby. Give us some time to heal and see where this takes us. I promise you that I’m NOT telling you no….I’m just saying that I need to think about this.”

“Ok, my love. Let’s take care of us and then see where this goes,” Vince said. “I’ll hold on to this ring until then, my love. We’ll take our time.”

I kissed Vince so passionately and he returned the passion that it nearly brought us back to bed again. We both knew that having sex/making love wouldn’t fix us but the both us taking some time together and some time apart, us going to counseling together, starting over but with an intent for a serious relationship. As we said our goodbyes, it was hard but we knew that we’d always be a call away.

Sunday, June 6, 2021

I’m dropping off the face of the planet to help a friend

A friend has recently told me that both she and her child have chemical imbalances and that they need a good friend to be there for them; to talk with their family (they’re not terribly close) and other friends, take care of their pets, have her calls forwarded to me (after she spoke to her job), etc. 

My friend had left her child with an aunt and uncle and admitted to the hospital for stress, anxiety and depression. About 3 or 4 days later, her child was brought into the same hospital for self harm and since the aunt and uncle aren’t my friend’s child (obviously as they are older), they couldn’t do anything other than go up to visit my friend. They told her and she called me to come to her area (6 hours from where I am) to help her out. 

By the time I packed and go there, she signed herself out against medical advice to be with her child. I’d asked if she had anyone from the hospital to talk to with her “bumps” in the road but she didn’t respond but she said that they’d been evaluated 3 times and they’re still waiting for a bed for her child as they’re still in the ER. 

Apparently, in their area…they don’t have the greatest mental health care as they do here in my area and the facilities don’t really cater to kids through teen years; the facilities are primarily for adults. Not sure if the hospital that they’re in has a psych ward (like my local hospital does) or not…..I want to ask if it does and if they’ll allow a 15 year old be admitted the ward; don’t want to over step my boundaries

Tuesday, June 1, 2021

Not a great Memorial Day Weekend

So it’s obvious that despite trying my best to NOT get sick - even when wearing a mask - I still get sick. And it’s obvious that I’ve had a minimum of 2 sex partners recently…there is a third….my neighbor’s nephew - with whom I went to college with. 

I thought I was being careful when having sex with my neighbor, his nephew and my old FWB from a few years ago. All SEPARATELY and none of them knew. I trust my birth control but unfortunately with how often I’ve been on antibiotics…..the antibiotics negatively affected the effectiveness of the pill. I thought I was ok and actively took the emergency contraceptive pill but at one point, there was only a 10 day time frame that I wasn’t on antibiotics and thought I was safe and protected. I wasn’t. I had sex with 2 of the guys during the 10 days. My pill failed because of the damn antibiotics. 

Took a home pregnancy test and it was positive. I knew that at several of my local Planned Parenthood’s that there are people who I’ve worked with and a few that are somehow related to me (through marriage of a family member or a family member’s half sibling/cousin’s wife/husband, etc.) and I couldn’t go to any of the locations. I know that there’s HIPAA - the patient confidentiality thing - but sometimes people talk thinking that it’s ok because they’re talking to family/friends or don’t think about it because they’ve had too much to drink. 

Anyways. I went out of state to not only visit a friend but also go to a Planned Parenthood near her (thankfully it’s a very liberal state). I signed in giving my legal name and provided them with my insurance information. They said that they normally don’t accept out of state insurance but I explained that if they can’t, it’s fine because I can go on a payment plan and I’m at their location because at several of my local PP location, there’s my relatives - I don’t want their judgements and I don’t want to risk them letting it slip that I went in for an abortion. They completely understood and said that they’d do their best. 

I’ve had an abortion before - back in 2008 - as I was pregnant from my cheating ex. I knew the process and what to expect. I opted for the pill. They observed me for about 30 to 45 minutes to see how I was handling the medication. I was coherent and able to talk with the staff as they checked on me. They gave me another pill to take in 12 hours. As the one nurse was bringing me to the front desk, she said that I’d need to come back in a few weeks to get blood work done to see if the abortion was successful or I can take another at home pregnancy test in a few weeks, if there’s any problems I could call at any time. I thanked her. 

I went to pull out my wallet at the receptionist’s desk and provide payment but she said that she had just gotten off the phone with the insurance company. She said she explained the situation and even though my insurance doesn’t take care of emergencies, doctors or abortions in other states, they understood the delicacy of the situation and covered it this time (though my insurance company DOES charge my normal copay to get my medication in another state!). I just about hugged her but I didn’t (Covid and staying safe); I was appreciative that she worked her magic.  

I spend the rest of the weekend through this afternoon with my friend and her family. I know the abortion pills were a success as I was spotting and had a clotting discharge. I will continue to spot for the next couple of weeks  I can resume my birth control whenever I’m ready. I returned home a few hours ago. It was great to see my friend and her family, relax and take care of what I needed to with ZERO judgments from her and her husband (I was fine with her sharing with him). 

I’m normally a VERY careful person when it comes to having sex and being protected. The next time I’m sick and on an antibiotic, I will make sure whomever I’m having sex with uses a condom. If he doesn’t like it, he can see himself out. When I got home, I sent out a text to each man - individually - saying that I need a break from having sex with him for the time being although the times I had with them was great. They were fine with it as it was as casual for them as it was for me. 

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

Had an interesting conversation the other day

I shared with someone the other day about my cheating ex bf (and how I accidentally got pregnant, found out he cheated on me and so I made the decision to have an abortion). This person knew about the cheating ex but didn’t know about the pregnancy nor about the abortion; they apologized that I had gone through that (cheating ex, knowing that the ex wouldn’t stick around and the decision for the abortion) and commented that I would’ve been a good mom. 

We continued the conversation and they said that they wanted to be a parent; I gave my support of them being a good parent, that they’d be a perfect mix between parent and friend, etc. As we talked, I shared that I don’t want kids nor do I desire kids…..just want a good man that has a good penis and we have good sex; that I’m happy being that tipsy aunt that brings nothing but alcohol to family gatherings. This person said that I’m good with my part time kids - my siblings’ kids and my friends' kids- and reiterated that I’d be a good mom. 

As the conversation ended for the day, I started to do some thinking. Since I was younger, I did want multiple kids (like 3 or 4) but between the ex, not having a big dating pool near me, picky about the men (and women) that I date, etc. I’d need to make sure that I’d find the right guy to have a kid with. I’m not going to have a kid with just any guy I’m dating; this guy has to be AMAZING. 

Anyways. I was talking to this person today and I shared what I was thinking about and he said that I should seriously consider having at least 2 to 3 kids but 2 would be a perfect number. 

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

The things that I trust more than tRumpster

  • My stomach after eating spoiled food
  • A skunk 
  • The ex that cheated on me 
  • El Chapo
  • Water/food from Chernobyl AND from Three Mile Island
  • My young niece doing my taxes
  • A grenade with its pin already pulled out
  • George W.’s economic plan
  • A car with 4 flat tires to get me from the Eastern part of Russia to the Western part of Russia
  • Cold meds that expired 15 years ago
  • Charles Ponzi - the ‘creator’ of the Ponzi scheme
  • A non-licensed medical professional to perform any medical procedure 
  • Jerry Falwell Sr AND Jr
  • Larry Flint
  • A bungee cord for bungee jumping 
  • An unfortunate person (homeless/jobless/down on their luck/gambler/addict/etc) with $200,000,000,000 in cash and return it back to me in full a year later
  • Sirhan Sirhan
  • Mehmet Ali Agca
  • Ted Kennedy driving 
  • Any poisonous snake
  • Bees (as I’m allergic; bad hives, rashes and bumps)
  • Gas station food
  • A prostate exam by Captain Hook
  • A gynecological exam by Captain Hook
  • Stormy Daniels
  • Anyone who does NOT hire F. Lee Bailey (who had clients like Pattie Hearst, OJ Simpson and Jeffrey Epstein)
  • Sharks
  • Anyone of my dogs with my food near their reach! 
  • King Henry VIII to NOT behead me. 
  • OJ Simpson not buying a new Ford Bronco in white
  • Sting rays
  • Jelly fish
  • Dollar store over the counter medicine 
  • Taco Bell 
  • Jolene - ask Dolly Parton!
  • Salmonella 

Sunday, May 16, 2021

Thinking of getting rid of this blog

No one really reads this blog anymore and I just don't have the energy to keep up with it anymore. I've had a few people figure out my "real" identity - they pretty much tell me that they read my blog because they're bored and that they really have nothing better to do in their lives than to read my "mediocre" writing.......Um, sorry? My "mediocre" writing skills helped me pull 20+ page college papers out of my ass 36 hours before they were due; sometimes just mere HOURS before they were due......just to receive an A on said papers

I am NOT here to entertain people with my life and my stories to because they live very boring lives. I am here for a writing outlet and if people like what I write, fine.....If not, move on! I am doing this for free and I know I could select a few choices, have people subscribe and PAY to read this blog, but I don't. I'm not that much of a cunt!

Saturday, May 15, 2021

I’m tired of….

I’m really tired of being:
  • A friend to someone who sees it as one sided; I’m constantly giving and they’re constantly taking 
  • Guilted into chatting when the other is available - which is when I’m busy
  • A shoulder when people bitch & moan about the same damn thing after constantly asking for my advice. 
  • The person who cleans up someone’s proverbial mess
  • The person who cleans up someone’s literal mess - cleaning one’s apartment/dwelling because they’re too damn lazy to do it themselves 
  • The person that has to constantly cheer up the pessimist; not your average pessimist….you know the one I’m talking about: “Oh! One thing went wrong and now everything’s going wrong!”....No, sweetie one thing went wrong, it ruined your mood and you’re letting it ruin your day!
  • The person that’s there for the person in a relationship that’s going nowhere; I hear what’s wrong with the relationship - all one sided of course without knowing the other person - when I just want to yell: “If you’re really THAT unhappy in the relationship, leave!”
  • Being talked over
  • Having shit mansplained to me…just because I have breasts and a vagina does NOT mean that I’m stupid and that you need to explain to me like I’m 4. 
  • People assuming I’m dumb because I’m blonde; sorry to disappoint you, Boo Boo Stink Stink, I’m street smart AND book smart.
  • Being treated horribly by tRumpsters; they think they’re high and mighty but they are in a cult lead by an immoral, married multiple times, serial cheater, rapist, paid a prostitute for sex, avoided the draft, refused to reveal his taxes, incited an insurrection, claimed voter fraud, filed bankruptcy at least 7 times, etc. 

Thursday, May 6, 2021

Had a crazy bad fever yesterday

So I’ve got like a week or so of antibiotics left to take because of the bronchitis I was diagnosed with about 2 weeks ago. I woke up with a fever of 101* but as the day went on, I think went up to 102*. I knew it was getting dangerous at that point; if it went up any more, I’d have to go back to the hospital for observation. Wasn’t in the mood for that shit. 

I ended up drinking a ton of fluids (I mixed water with Gatorade and poured it over ice), alternated between Advil and Tylenol, I napped, I tried to sweat it out…..I messaged C to apologize for not messaging him like I said I would as I was in bed and not feeling well; I thought that would be enough but it wasn’t. 

In a nutshell, he asked me to rest, keep hydrating, eat a little bit more (I had a banana and a yogurt prior to messaging him) and I should have a cold shower; which I did…..twice (I don’t like being sweaty). Told him that I’d go to bed around 8 pm for the night. 

He texted me a little after 8 to see how I was feeling, asked if I rested, asked if I ate/hydrated, etc. I explained I did and that my temperature dropped down to 99*. He was happy to hear that I was doing all the right things and felt that I would be feeling better tomorrow (meaning today).  I don’t remember my response but I think it was positive. I expressed my gratitude towards him for asking how I was feeling and checking in on me. 

Deep down, we both know he didn’t have to BUT whatever happened in the past, C is a solid person, he wishes people well and wants people to succeed no matter how he and the other person ended. It’s a sign of a good and strong person to treat others well; he ‘wins’ at that. 

I had a virtual appointment with my doctor and they sent over another antibiotic to my pharmacy; I’m to start the new one as I’m finishing up the current one…..yes, take 2 different antibiotics but it’s only for a few more days. I was able to rest and hydrate a bit today but I had too much to do today. 

C did check in on me today and was a little surprised that my doctor called in another medication but happy as it might help whatever’s going on. Told him that I appreciated him reaching out to me to check on me. 

Sunday, May 2, 2021

Took some time away from people

 After being unemployed for 13 months - going on 14 months - it’s taken a toll on me emotionally. I’m a self admitted introvert; I don’t do well in groups of 5 + people (excluding myself), going out exhausts me mentally and physically. You get the point. I take my dogs out for a walk a few times week, I go grocery shopping - with 2 masks! - I visit with friends but outside. 

I had texted my friends/family that I talk to literally 100 times a day every day on Tuesday that I’m just taking a few days to myself; I just needed to be by myself. I explained that everything is ok but I wanted the time to myself to reflect; I wanted to read some books, self reflection, write to get things out of my mind (so I could actually fall asleep right away instead of 1,000 different positions and 100 sacrifices to the sleep gods). They were COMPLETELY supportive of my decision; they all have agreed with me that self care/self love is super important - more so now than ever because of Covid. Of course, I chatted with the relatives I live with and they gave me the space/privacy when I asked for it. I did come into contact with Brick yesterday but it wasn’t for more than 3 hours (about 90 minutes helping him out at his house plus the 90 minutes that he had dinner with us last night).

It was great that I had the time to myself; it made me realize that even though I spend hours a day applying for jobs, I still spend time cleaning someone else’s house (my relatives’ house), listen to friends/family and be there for them emotionally. It made me realize that it’s ok to love them and be there for them, but I need to stop being there for them as much as I am; I literally do NOT turn my phone off (unless it’s updating), I respond to emails/texts within a few minutes, I get woken up at all hours of the night to be there…..I’ve also been woken up at 2 am to go pick up a friend (and even a friend’s sibling) up at a bar/club/party because they’re too drunk to get home. 

I’m going to slowly implement boundaries; no calling/texting after 1 am (unless it’s a life or death emergency), emailing at any time is fine but I’ll wait until the morning to look at, read and reply to the email, if they and/or a sibling are too drunk to drive home from a bar/club/party/whatever and need a ride, I will get an Über or Lyft to them and if they feel like there’s a need to repeatedly call/text me just to tell me something, I’m calling them out and telling them that’s an abuse to my willingness to listen - they can call/text once, tell me what’s going on and I will respond to them when I have a moment instead of when they want my response. 

When a neighbor needs help

The town I live in is a tight knit community; we all know each other (our kids were at one of the two schools, our friends are the current and/or the former teachers) and we all know each other’s business. The only thing is that I have to chuckle about this is because despite living here for 2/3 of my life, I recently learned that this town is about 20 odd square miles; yet we don’t have our own post office nor our own fire department nor police department BUT once our middle schoolers graduate from 8th grade, they can choose from two different high schools; one is in the county where our town actually is located in and the other is in the county right next door because our mailing addresses are in the other county. On a side note, this panned out for me for the community college and the state college I went to; both are in the county where my mailing address is so I was not only able to receive the in state “discount”…..I was also able to receive the in county “discount” for both colleges. That’s besides the point. 

I’m 38 and lived here for 28 years; out of all those years, one of our next door neighbors stayed the same. Nice slightly older guy named…..Brick. Brick is in his mid to late 60s, nice, respectful of his next door neighbors and other neighbors on our street, well respected in our town and other local communities due to owning/running his own business for approximately 30 years (previously with his parents before they died) and all around decent human.

Anyways….Brick came over and asked if I was able to help him out with a job at his home; he needed someone who had small hands. I looked at my relatives and we all nodded our heads yes so I told Brick that I’m more than happy to help but I needed a minute to grab my mask (my relatives and I are all vaccinated against Covid but not sure if Brick is; even if he was, we don’t know if he was in contact with someone who was infected). I go inside, grab my cell phone and my mask; I wave to my relatives to let them know that I was going over to Brick’s. 

*The unfortunate side of everyone knowing everything in a small knit community is this community lives in a valley; any louder voice than an “inside” voice is amplified and people within a few miles of you can hear you. My relatives and I wave at each other outside to get each other’s attention and then walk over to each other; we’re pretty private people and don’t want everyone knowing everything*

Brick had made a disaster in his kitchen as he was adding hardware (handles/knobs) to his kitchen drawers and cabinets. He wanted me to hand him the nuts, bolts, spacers, screws, screwdrivers and whatever else he needed for the job. He tried to explain what was what but I had to interrupt him; I explained that growing up, my biological father, stepdad and maternal grandfather taught me somethings when I watched and I had asked questions; my brother more so when I worked for him as I asked and actually did the (easy) repair….I have a curious mind. He looked a little embarrassed that he assumed that I didn’t know and apologized and I said that I forgave him. 

As we were working, we were talking and getting to know each other - my relatives know him better than I do as I was a child when we moved here - and he seemed pretty interested in what I was doing and what my interests were. He said that he thought that I was the princess while my sister was the tough one but now he realizes it was the other way around. We laughed as he raided his fridge and we had a few (10) beers between us. 

He never married; he’d have a handful of girlfriends before he had a fiancé….he said she died but never said from what and I didn’t ask. He never wanted to marry anyone else but her and has girlfriends since her but they weren’t serious; they’d date for 12 to 18 months and he’d break up with them. He asked me if I had anyone special and I said no; I explained that it was difficult while working for my brother at the restaurant because of the long hours and working 6 days a week - sometimes 7 days a week if a holiday landed on a Sunday - and customers and staff were WAY off limits. I said that my brother laid me off in March 2020 due to Covid and how it would effect his business; I was full time, salaried and high risk….he’d beat himself up if I got sick. I said that I’ve been collecting unemployment and the stimulus checks but it’s nowhere near what I was getting when I was working. Just then I realized that not only was I bitching, it sounded like I was *begging* for money….which I promise you I was NOT at all; I was just bitching. 

I immediately told Brick that I wasn’t asking for money. He said he knew and understood that I was just bitching. He laughed it off. He asked if I wanted a small job working for him; it would take a max of 6 to 8 minutes a week if I wanted. I asked what it was and he said it was to grab his mail for him on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; I’d leave that day’s mail between the storm door and the ‘regular’ door on his back porch…. I said sure. He asked me for the proper spelling (and pronunciation) of my last name so that when he went to the bank to deposit cash in his business account, he’d deposit money in my account. 

As we share the same bank and go to the same branch (can’t tell you how many times we’ve seen each other at that branch), told him that he could tell the teller that I’m his niece (what the hell would they know?) and that the money could be deposited into my checking account. He said that sounded great and that it works out well because I didn’t need to share any personal banking information with him (not even my closest of friends know any of my personal banking information!).

We finished up with the work and bull shitting, I start grabbing my phone and mask to start to head out. Brick stopped me and tells me the reason why he wanted me over; partly because he wanted company and partly because it’d been a little bit since he had sex. I giggled and said ok, explaining that I don’t suck and I don’t kiss during sex. He laughed and said it was NOT a problem for either one. 

He guided me to the couch, we stripped, he asked me to stroke his penis for a moment or so, then he asked me to lean over the couch and spread my legs. He used his fingers to spread my apex, digitally enter me and massage enough to make me wet. Once I started moaning, he spread my legs a little further apart and entered my apex from behind. 

Fuck me now. That first thrust was going to be the death of me….or so I thought. He kept pounding away, I was moaning and telling him to NOT stop; he surprises me by switching to different positions. My apex and I couldn’t handle this; I was moaning louder and louder….I had to find a pillow to bury my face in. It was a struggle as I was more into the pleasure than finding the pillow so I just focused on internally screaming. 

Brick asked me if I was on any form of the pill and I said that yes I am and take it daily without fail. Seconds later, we explode together and I feel him shoot into me; he moans my name and then bites my back when he’s finished. He’s still hard and still very ready. We move to his bed and we fuck until he’d drained himself completely in me. We take a few seconds to catch our breath and then we get dressed. I get dressed pretty quickly and thank him for letting me help. 

I text my relatives that I’m on my way home and that I helped Brick out with handles/knobs on his kitchen cabinets/drawers. About 15 seconds later, I walk into my garage and into the house. It hits me as I greet my relatives…..I’m on new medication for migraines; this medication decreases the effectiveness of hormonal birth control - what I take - and as I say hi to my relatives, they tell me that we’re having hot dogs, hamburgers, corn, potato salad and macaroni salad for dinner and Brick is coming over. I force myself to be cheerful and say “Ok!”  I excuse myself to go take a shower. 

Once in my room, I find an emergency contraceptive pill in my purse. I swallow it without any water and then go take a shower. It was a quick shower because I felt like the emergency contraceptive pill was stuck in my throat and I wanted ice water to chase it down. 

As soon as I chug some water, here comes Brick walking into our fenced in backyard with more beer. I excuse myself quick to look up to see if I can drink any type of alcohol shortly after taking the emergency contraceptive but I couldn’t find anything. I cross my fingers and hope to crap that it’s ok. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

I suck it up and I actually enjoy sharing my family’s dinner with Brick.  I don’t hate/dislike Brick but I just didn’t want to see him 15 minutes after having sex with him. I was hoping that it would be about a week - or maybe a month - before he and I interacted face to face again 

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

I don't understand my appeal to men and high school drama

Throughout both elementary and middle school, the boys weren't interested in me because I was a tomboy; I played sports with them at recess and kept up, I wasn't afraid to get muddy/dirty, I got into fights with them and as I got older, they became a little bit intimidated by me because I used to horseback ride; I was in control of a 1,200 pound animal, I helped bring the horses in and out of pasture, I hefted 80 pound hay bales and 50 pound bags of grain....By 8th grade, I had more muscles than the strongest boy in my class AND I was one of the captains of the cheerleading squad. 

By freshman year, I was still a bit of a "freak" because I had a job, still owned and rode my horse, still helped around the barn, I was cheerleading and it didn't help that my brother - yes THAT brother....the brother that I used to work for......that brother who is a pain in my ass.....that brother who is my favorite sibling - told his friends to NOT date me and NOT to sleep with me (remember how that worked out???). Not like I had much of a social life freshman year anyways! I was up by 6, at school by 7, took the bus to work until 6, came home, changed, ate, rode my horse, did chores at the barn, came home showered, did homework and was in bed by midnight. But I did start dating JS my freshman year. I have no idea how since the weekends I was at both work and the barn. 

Thankfully, by sophomore year, I stopped cheerleading; the girls were a bunch of cunts. That gave me more time to spend with my horse, chores at the barn, homework and work; including picking up shifts of coworkers. I had a bit more time to spend with JS - even with his schedule of football and wrestling. During my sophomore year, more guys in school were becoming more interested in me though I was quite oblivious to it; I guess you could say that I knew more what was going on in the world by watching the news than having my head in clouds in high school. 

By my junior year, JS and I had broken up since I was still in HS and he had graduated; my head was still in the clouds and oblivious which guy liked me and didn't like me. I had guy friends; they'd have the scoop and tell me and I would just brush it off....I'd say shit like: "I'm just ordinary me; I'm here all day, I work, I own/take care of a horse, do barn chores, homework....typical teen shit. I'm nothing special....well other than the fact that I still have more muscles than the girls in the school and some of the guys." My guy friends would shrug and move along.

In the beginning of senior, one of my guy friends and I were more than friends but not dating; we'd mess around (we'd grope each other and perform oral sex on each other). One of our mutual friends found out about it and was a jealous bitch about it because she'd been in love with him since freshman year. During a very busy lunch period that the 3 of us shared together, I was just so frustrated about her and her friends trying to spread rumors about me; I was having sex with the entire football team (which the entire school knew was NOT true), they were saying that I was a junkie because I had more muscles than 99% of the girls (which, again, the entire school knew wasn't true), I had contracted STD's and other nonsense. I had had it so I went over to the table she was sitting at with her petty friends. I was disgustingly nice to them - they all knew that I was aware of they shit they were saying about me - and I explained that I am sick and tired of her jealous and petty shit as is the entire school, everyone was making fun of her and her friends because they were making up fake shit about me that EVERYONE knew was false which in turn made her and her friends the laughing stock of the school.

Because I had been sitting with them for so long, the entire cafeteria had become 100% silent at this point. So, I said to her - very sweetly, of course:

"I understand that you've been in love with JM since freshman year; I have no clue if you two went to middle school together or not….so it's been 4 years. He has yet to return your affection. You're mad that I'm friends with him and that he and I are messing around. I know that you're so desperate to make me look bad that you can't see how bad that you'll look in in January. It's late September and you're about 6 weeks pregnant with someone else's child. You want me to look like a fool so JM would stop being friends with me so you can have him and trick him into having sex with you....just to make him think that he's the father of your child. We all know that he's NOT sexually attracted to you nor romantically interested in you. In January, everyone will know that you're pregnant. I'm guessing, by how silent this cafeteria is right now, that everyone will know by the end of this period or the end of next period. You've spent 3 weeks trying to make me look like a fool when we all know that it's you that has looked like a fool. Now you look like an even bigger fool. Yes, I forgive you for treating me like shit but the next time I hear one negative thing coming from either your mouth or a friend's mouth, I will sue everyone at this table for libel; the entire school is proof of that and I will win. Trust me when I tell you this, I will sue you and your friends here for everything that you guys have AND for everything that you and their families have. I know all of your parents make $300,000 a year. Plus the brand new cars your parents, their parents, you and your friends have; everyone's vacation homes. All of your families will literally have a hard affording a 2 bedroom apartment and all of your parents will have to find a way to afford the expensive colleges all of you want to attend. With that money, I will be able to do less work around the barn because we can't afford the board, the farrier, the vet services, the lessons, the supplies and my tack, my parents will be able to pay their monthly mortgage payment with no stress, have enough money for an emergency - with my asthma, it can be very expensive as well as any emergency I face from horseback riding as I was already hospitalized three times; twice for severe concussions, spending several nights in the hospital each time and the other for testing and observation to make sure that I wouldn't become paralyzed. Thanks for lunch, girls. See you gals in 2 periods!"

I grabbed my lunch tray, walked away, tossed my cold food, put the tray in the window and sat down in the hallway. I just sat there in the hallway for 2 of my classes - clearly I was cutting class but my teachers didn't mind. The entire school knew what happened; the principal and the school's legal team called my parents to let them know. 

The high school paid for our legal team, took the girls and their families to court for libel; we won, of course, and we received what we asked for....a restraining order against each of the girls and their families. The girls and their families weren't allowed within 600 feet of me....the parents took them out of the high school and transferred them - separately - to strict all girls' schools.

I graduated high school in June 2001. Last I heard of any of the girls....the pregnant one gave up her child and became a prostitute (and addicted to drugs) and the others ended up getting kicked out of community college for pulling similar shit that they did to me; the victims and their families won close to 10 million dollars in total and the girls are working part time jobs, barely making ends meet

Hate being sick....so does everyone else

2020 & 2021 brought has brought me some weird health. For the most part, I was healthy although I had a few sinus infections (I get several every year), had the flu even though I had the flu shot and now I have bronchitis. I’m not sure how I got it. I've been super careful when around other people; I wear a mask at the grocery store, the pharmacy, when I see family and friends that are outside of my bubble....when my sister and her household were over for Easter, we were outside 95% of the time (we went in to grab what we needed food wise and run to the bathroom; we wore masks inside and had 3 air purifiers running on the main level to help). We wore our masks outside as well when we were in close contact with each other  and took them off to eat/drink. ALL of us tested negative before Easter and afterwards as well (all came back negative).

Last week, I went to the doctor - well, it was a virtual appointment since I was coughing - and the doctor said I had bronchitis and had me come to the office, wait in my car, get a quick Covid test, results done in the office and came back negative. From there, I went to the pharmacy to pick up my antibiotic and prednisone; I picked up some OTC cough medicine to help (my doctor does NOT play around with my asthma and treats me aggressively with meds so the bronchitis doesn't turn into pneumonia). Came home, took my meds, hydrated like crazy and took a nap.

Had dinner hours later and took my meds again....despite the 3 hour nap, I still felt run down so I went back up to bed. I was mostly asleep when I had a pretty bad coughing fit; I kept coughing, coughed up phlegm, tried to take a sip of water and was struggling to breathe so I used my rescue inhaler.....sadly, it didn't help too much.

I went downstairs with my wallet, phone, phone charger and a book and asked a family member to drive me to the ER. We loaded up, went on our way and got there in no time. I had to wait as other people were ahead of me; waited 40 minutes before I was seen. My relative ended up going home so they could take care of the pets and other things. The nursing staff immediately put me on oxygen to help me breathe and the doctor came a few minutes later.

Thankfully, my doctor's office is connected to the hospital (they share patient charts of mutual patients), saw what I was seen for and asked me to try to explain what caused the coughing fit. Being a sarcastic wise ass that I am, I said: "I'm an asthmatic with bronchitis. What the hell do you expect to happen? I had a coughing fit, had issues breathing so I tried to use my rescue inhaler which didn't help much and tried to take sips of water but that didn't work either. So, here I am doc. Please do your magic." The doctor laughed at my sarcasticness (yes, I know it's NOT a real word, get over it!!), listened to my lungs, sent me for a chest X-ray - which showed absolutely nothing - and ended up putting me on an IV drip of fluids, antibiotics and a steroid (probably hospital grade prednisone).

I tried to rest but I kept hacking up my lungs and the nurses kept parading through my room checking my vitals. I wanted to lock the door but there was no lock on it and no matter how many times I asked the staff to STOP waking me every 20 minutes, I'd start a mutiny with the other patients; we'd take out our IVs and other crap and walk out. I annoyed the hell out of the staff enough that they called the doctor and he came in. I explained that in order to get rest, I need to be left alone and according to the nursing staff, his request was to check on me often. I told him that it needs to stop now or I'm taking the shit out of my arms, signing the AMA (against medical advice) documents and walking the fuck out of there as I call the director of the hospital as he was my doctor when I was a child.

He changed the orders in my chart right away to check on me every 2 hours so I could get *some* rest and I expressed to him that if it's less than every 2 hours, trust me.....I promised that I would become his worst nightmare. He promised that it would be as I wanted it. I was able to finally get some rest despite it not being real sleep. 

I was tempted to call C but I didn't. I know that deep down inside there is a part of him that cares about me and my well being but I didn't want to call him to let him know where I was and cause a fight with his girlfriend.....besides, like me, he loves his sleep. Even if I did call him, what was I supposed to say to him? "It's 1 am and I'm spending the night in the hospital for observation because I have asthma AND bronchitis. I want you to come over and spend an uncomfortable night here with me while your girlfriend gets annoyed and assumes you're cheating on her?" So, I called my brother and like me, he's a night owl. 

Like a good brother that he is, he drove the hour to get to the hospital. On his way, he made a few calls and had a bed brought into my room so he could sleep in his own bed instead of one of those uncomfortable chairs. He did bring a number of cheesecakes from the restaurant to "bribe" the staff and brought a little airplane bottle of Vodka for me to drink; he knew that it would make me goofy and then fall asleep. As usual, it did it's trick and I was out cold in 20 minutes. Thankfully, I slept for the rest of the night.

The nurses came through around 7 am, sent me for another chest x-ray (which, again, showed nothing), the doctor came by, listened to my lungs and said that my lungs were sounding slightly better but not by much and that it's ok to go home. While I had been getting the chest x-ray and getting checked out by the doctor, my brother called my other relatives and said that he's bringing me home so they don't need to worry about it. 

Finally got home around 9 am, we ate, my brother napped for an hour, showered and went to work. I slept until 11 or so, had lunch, took care of a few things, napped again, read, had dinner and went to bed around 8:30/9 pm and slept like a rock.

I'm feeling better now but I still have 2 weeks of antibiotic left and haven't had anymore ER visits. My GP's office has been calling me twice a week to check on me. I do have an appointment on Friday as a follow up to make sure that my lungs are clearing up; the doctor may give me a referral to see a pulmonologist in a few weeks to see if there's anything else I should do but  right now, I am just focusing on feeling better.

Thursday, April 15, 2021

Just when I thought I was out, they drag me back in

Ugh. I am trying my damndest to avoid drama to my best ability but somehow….it hunts me down. So the ex that cheated on me 13 years ago….you know the one with the daughter? Yeah so he and his ex wife were friends of mine when we all were at the same college 20 years ago this fall.

He and I were dating back in 2008, he cheated on me - mutual friends told me - he denied it, we all confronted him about it and he still denied it and just a few weeks after his daughter was born, he finally admitted it to me. That’s when we were fighting, verbally hurting each other, having sex with other people and bragging about it to the other….the list goes on. 

Just when we were in a semi good place, he tells me to start planning a wedding. I tell our mutual friend and she’s calling me a liar because she’s engaged to him and of course, he denies it. I tell her the shit that happened between he and I, she tells me that she believes him, he denies to me that he lied to her. She finally threatened to NOT marry him unless he tells her about the shit went down between he and I. He finally did and she apologized for calling me a liar. I tell him that as long as they’re married to each other, I am out of both their lives.

They ended up being married to each other for like 3 years and then he starts emailing me again saying that she moved from his home state where they lived to the state where we went to college together and is divorcing him. We go back and forth for a bit and then I walk away. Again. A few months go by and so I reach out to her to tell her that he’s reached out to me with all these accusations against her. She and I talk out our shit and we’re best friends now (IKR?) and tell me that he’s mostly lying. Of course he is! He hasn’t changed one bit!

So I talk to him again and tell him this shit that I heard from his family (true story) and from her family (true story) and said that he’s lying to me yet again and if he wants me to listen to his sob story, he better straighten up and start telling me the truth. I verify everything he says with his family, the ex wife and her family for a solid year; total waste of everyone’s time. At that point, 95% of it is the truth so I stop bothering everyone about what he says and does….it was getting tiring. Fast forward to 2018/2019, he and I smooth out like 80% of our shit, talk 3 times a week, I talk to her 4 to 6 times a week. It’s a small improvement but doesn’t mean that I’m friends with him.

I had to share with him recently that because of his actions back in 2008, the 3 of us have this weird relationship. They’re friends, exes and interested to see where life takes them when they see each other again. He and I talk about shit going on in our lives but I have zero interest in getting in any relationship with him again (he made me a 5th option instead of first choice when we were dating). She and I are friends and we talk about a TON of things, always listening to each other and being a shoulder to the other.

I want him out of my life but for some reason, I can’t…..no matter how many times that I walk away some nonsense happens and I get dragged back into it.

Saturday, April 10, 2021

I can’t completely get away.

Since the whole Vince & C nonsense, I’ve had both of my Covid vaccines; been on a few interviews since.

Anyways...Vince has been vaccinated as well and wants to meet up with him and talk. I told him that I do NOT want to because my life is better without him; I’m where I need to be and I’m not going to spend more than 10 minutes with him face to face. He knows I’m mad at him but for some reason he thinks that is meeting face to face will give him the opportunity to apologize for trying to control me by telling me who I can and can’t see. He’s a pretty smart guy but dense when it comes to me not wanting to be around him at this point and dense enough to think that us talking will resolve something. 

It finally resulted in me emailing Vince to explain to him how it hurt me and our relationship - whatever it was or wasn’t - and that no matter how hard he tries to explain, I don’t want to hear it nor talk about it. For a long ass time. I told him - as we emailed back and forth - that I’ll still love him to some small extent but I don’t want to be anything with him for the time being; not even friends. He needs to understand that he crossed the line - a boundary - never apologized for it, thinks he can mansplain it away and act like everything is fine is NOT fine; until he understands that and apologize for his behavior, then I’m more than happy to sit down and talk to him about shit. 

Now C is another story. Oye. I’ll always be grateful that he was in my life and for being who/what he was in the time he was in my life. Sure it hurt for a bit that he ghosted me for his gf - we were fading fast anyways - but we’ve talked a little bit. Helped trying to figure out what website to use and whatnot to sign up for a the Covid vaccine; suggested he call pharmacies to see if anyone failed to show for their appointment for their vaccine. Thankfully he got the first one & hope he can get the second one soon. He had some family members in his home country that died from Covid; he wants to get vaccinated so he can go home and be with his family. 

Other than that, C and I don’t talk that often. No matter what happens between he and I as well as he and his gf, I wish him well and wish him luck on his future adventures in his life. 

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Slightly odd dream last night

I usually don't remember my dreams - which is normal for everyone - but last night, I remembered part of it. Keep in mind that when we dream, we only dream of people whom we met and have seen; we don't dream of people that we have yet to meet.

So I was with this big crowd of people - like a few thousand people - on this pier at night; we were watching this military carrier ship come into dock...I'm not sure why there was this big crowd there. Anyways, the military staff on the carrier set fireworks off and quite a number of the members were shouting in celebration and were jumping off the carrier while full of laughter. It was obvious to that it was some kind of celebration but I couldn't tell as I couldn't discern what the weather was like and the crowd was wearing a mix of clothing (some were wearing winter jackets while some were wearing tshirts and shorts).

Anyways, one of the guys from the military who jumped off the carrier came over to me - I had known him well in the dream (I remember that I've seen his face somewhere before but after living for approximately 40 years, it's a little hard to remember where you met or seen someone) - he came up to me, full on kissed me, said that he was going to change once he got back on the carrier (and to grab his bag of clothes/uniforms that he wears on the carrier) and meet me soon after. What seemed like forever in the dream, he came back out, threw his stuff in the back of the SUV and he drove us back to where we were staying. 

Unfortunately, my alarm went off before I could finish the dream. I hate when my alarm goes off before I can finish my dream.....it makes me wonder how the dream ends; does it have an exciting or boring end? Do I get to do some crazy ass stunts? 

Monday, March 15, 2021

I would’ve posted something a weekend or so ago

But I was at a former lover’s. He works from home - as the president of his company - isolates at his choice, orders grocery from home and picks it up from the store, has had his Covid vaccines (like I’ve done as well), doesn’t visit with anyone who hasn’t self isolated for 2 weeks or even feels slightly off; he thoroughly sanitizes the hell out of his house after his limited house guests leave - it’s always a small group at a time as he won’t allow a group of more than 6 at his house at a time - he’s got air purifiers running in every single room, everything gets sprayed down with Lysol, Clorox and other CDC accepted cleaning/sanitizing products. 

Anyways, he’s been a long time friend - as is his soon to be ex wife - of close to 15/20 years. We’ve known each other since our college years and we’ve all gotten along very well. Unfortunately, he and his wife have been separated for close to 18 months - cheating on both sides - and still love each other but the love went from the romantic kind to “You’re my best friend and I love your stupid crazy ass!” There wasn’t much jealousy when I came into the picture as his occasional FWB; it started just before they decided to “officially” end their marriage but everyone is 100% with everything now. And they do NOT have kids; they love their nieces, nephews and their friend D’s kids but they didn’t want kids.

I had self isolated for 2 weeks, had my family pick up what I needed from the store/pharmacy, I cleaned everything that came into the house that I asked to be picked up, etc. Just because both he and I are vaccinated does NOT mean we can relax....we (and our families) still maintain social distancing guidelines, self isolation as a preventative before we go visit with a SMALL portion of our family and isolate if we’re sick with a cold, bronchitis, etc. 

So I arrived at his place Friday mid afternoon and let myself in - as he knows my eta, he unlocked the front door but I usually use a key - and announce myself. He yells from somewhere in the house that he’ll help me with my stuff - which isn’t too much for the weekend! j/k - and helps me bring my stuff upstairs. We usually start me out in one of the guest bedrooms because we never know if we’re going to have sex or not so might as well have separate bedrooms. 

We pull out the board games and card games that were popular when we were growing up (Clue, Life, Monopoly, Uno, etc.), get the wine and cheese going. Just an FYI - I am a cheese FIEND - where there’s cheese I love, I’m walking away from you to shove cheese in my mouth...don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate you and you didn’t make me mad but I effing LOVE cheese. Cheese is my best friend. There! I said it!! Anyways, we’re playing games and munching on cheese and crackers, we do our typical bull shitting, catching up and telling the other we’d kick the other’s ass in the games. 

As the day/night wore on, we had dinner and of course, more wine and then eventually moved on to watching movies; we watched our ultimate favorite of the 80's....not sure if I can legally name movies in personal blogs or not but this one has Tim Curry in it and is based off a board game that we played. You know the one that has characters with names of food and colors? That one!! Anyways, I laughed so hard through the entire movie that my sides hurt. 

I go to bed - solo - because I am a bed hog and dislike having to share a cool bed/sheets with another toasty body; even if it's a California King bed. Yeah, I am a weirdo. I fall asleep in minutes, enjoying a massive bed all to myself. Hours later I wake up to get a drink of water from the kitchen and wound up finding my friend in the kitchen doing the same; we joke that it's because of too much wine but I think it's all the cheese, chips, crackers and dip we had before dinner. He asks if I "wanna" join him in bed, knowing full well that my answer is yes. I had to make a pitstop to the guest bathroom to brush my teeth (as he does the same in the master bathroom). **When sleeping over someone's house and they invite you to bed with them, do them - and yourself a favor - by brushing your teeth before hand!**

I join him minutes later - with my glass of water! - and he's already stripped down to his birthday suit. He cracks me up. I giggle and he notices just then that I've been naked - as I sleep naked - and invites me into bed. Once on the bed with him, he makes sure that I'm comfortable before he spreads my legs and begins to eat my apex. He eats me like a fat kid eats cake...neither of us can get enough. That's when I noticed his hair in a pony tail (a man bun but in pony tail form). I began to use his ponytail to guide him around my opening and as I finally have him in the right spot, I am forced to let go and grip the mattress with my hands as I am screaming his name. So beyond thankful that he does NOT have any neighbors near by. Just when I think that I can't handle it anymore, he stops, spreads my legs even further and slides his glorious appendage in me; I can barely fit him inside of me but I don't care...he feels amazing, thrusting in me...stretching me. I cum instantly but I know he's nowhere near ready yet

We continue having sex; he's putting me in all different positions, hitting my gspot each time and making me cum non stop. He pulls out, flips me onto my stomach, puts a few pillows under my hips, spreads my....cheeks....and eats me. OMFG. First time that's ever happened and I knew that I love it the second he started. LOL. He doesn't take too long before his member starts knocking on my back door. I can't help but giggle and he enters me. He feels SO good thrusting in and out of me; occasionally stopping to get more lube. It doesn't take long for him to cum as this is his first time with anal. I eventually fall asleep....let's face it, ok? Sleep is amazing and the more sleep I get, the happier I am. Lol. He decides to stay up and do some work from home.

We spend the rest of the weekend, having fun playing games and spent time in bed together....but we didn't expect to find someone as clumsy as me. LOL. As he was trying to help me move from laying down on my back to my side, he hit me on the nose with his elbow; giving me a nosebleed. Thankfully he didn't break my nose. Took about 5 to 10 minutes to stop the bleeding and used ice to help stop the pain. 

The nosebleed caused us to stop the bedroom fun for the day but we went on with the games and watching movies. The next day we just chilled, reading books and iced my nose....which was still sore. Thankfully my nose wasn't broken, not swollen and no bruises